Ragen Chastain / Dances with Fat / Fat Out Loud -

melty

True & Honest Fan
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Creating your own event because you can't remotely compete in the real one is peak cow behavior, holy shit. Sadly, I have doubts it will actually happen. I foresee problems with funding, getting permits, other injuries etc. But she seems really autistically obsessed with the tattoo so maybe she will actually do it.
 

Salubrious

Feelin' Healthy
kiwifarms.net
Here's why I'm not excited about this self-Iron distance, even with the promise of live streaming.

Here is her recap of her World Record marathon.


Look at the dates. This recap is posted January 26, 2018. The race itself, it even says in the artice, was May 17th. She waited over EIGHT MONTHS before she mentioned "oh I ran a marathon and was just waiting for Guinness to certify it."

Here is her first blog after May 17th:


Training had been going well until a long run two weeks ago where things went seriously wrong. I was out of town and scheduled for the longest run of my training so far. I had chosen a path that was billed as flat and paved. As I walked out to get started I rolled my left ankle (the one the I badly sprained earlier in the year.) Regular readers know that my ankles are hyper-mobile and roll all the time so I wasn’t too worried. It felt a little bit sore but totally serviceable, so I decided to do the run.

The path was really hilly – way more climb than any run I’ve ever done in any run.
First off, the path was not really hilly; Mainly Marathons are basically the flattest looped course you can do outside walking 106 laps on a high school track. I don't think she's lying per se, as much as the fact that to an obese person, any sort of incline no matter how small is going to seem like a mountain during a marathon.

Second, she described it as "she was out of town and scheduled for the longest run of my training so far." So it sounds like she went on a speaking gig and just happened to have training scheduled that day. She made no mentioned that she was going to walk a marathon or had walked a marathon in her blog or any of her social media until the January 26th post eight months later. The only people that knew before this were people on her subreddit and I forget how her subreddit found out (maybe a lucky Google search or something.)

So as much as she says she is going to "livestream" the attempt, either one of two things are going to happen.

1) She will never do a damn thing (most likely outcome).

2) She will post from "race day videos" well after the event, make up some wild story about having actually done it, will not provide a shred of proof Garmin or otherwise that she did it, and then proclaim that anyone who claims that she faked it are haters and trolls out to kill fat people.



Also, for those of you that didn't follow Ragen's sprint triathlon this year (.25 mile swim, 10 mile bike, 5k run), these were her paces:
Swim: 4:16/100m
Bike: 8.64 mph for 10 miles
Run: 24:04 min/mil for 3.1 miles

Now, here were her 2018 super sprint paces:
Swim: 3:33 min/100m
Bike: 10.50 mph average for 6.35 miles
Run: 23:23 min/mi for 1.65 miles

So, even giving Ragen the benefit of the doubt (since why not?), and saying that she can perform a full Ironman race at her 2018 super sprint pace (she can't), here is how long it would take her to complete the distance in a best case scenario
Swim: 3.55 * 38 = 2 hours, 15 minutes
T1: 15 minutes (because she will take her sweet-ass time since there are no time limits)
Bike: 112 / 10.5 = 10 hours, 40 minutes
T2: 15 minutes
Run: 23.38 * 26.2 = 10 hours, 8 minutes
Best Case Scenario Total: 23 hours, 33 minutes

Also, that doesn't take any fatigue into account, nor any sense of urgency since she doesn't have to rush (and would probably be encouraged to "rest" by her friends to not push herself too hard), nor the fact that the last time she walked she tore her foot ligament, nor the fact that you can't complete a long distance at the same speed as a short distance, nor the fact that she will probably be at least 20 pounds heavier next year than right now.


TL;DR - One day, Ragen is going to fake some pictures/videos, proclaim that she completed the distance, make up a bullshit story, and say that anyone questioning her are alt-right bigots.
 
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Rabbit Bones

He Rapes To Make That Money For His Family
True & Honest Fan
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Does she really think anyone apart from her girlfriend is going to show up to watch her waddle around a loop and eat food?
 

multiverse

Not actually Merissa OR Heather
True & Honest Fan
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Does she really think anyone apart from her girlfriend is going to show up to watch her waddle around a loop and eat food?
Does she seriously think Julianne, who is immobile without a scootypuff, requires in home healthcare, and was on her deathbed for the first 6 months of the year is going to be physically capable of sitting at a food table for 24 hours or more while Ragen does her Marshmallowman? Her back will seize up; she needs help going to the restroom; Julianne is going to need a hospital if she even attempts to sit around for the duration. And Ragen will need one after she tries to swim, then bike, the IM distances, no matter how long she takes.
 

sperginity

honest and open with everybody my entire life
True & Honest Fan
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Does she seriously think Julianne, who is immobile without a scootypuff, requires in home healthcare, and was on her deathbed for the first 6 months of the year is going to be physically capable of sitting at a food table for 24 hours or more while Ragen does her Marshmallowman? Her back will seize up; she needs help going to the restroom; Julianne is going to need a hospital if she even attempts to sit around for the duration. And Ragen will need one after she tries to swim, then bike, the IM distances, no matter how long she takes.
Don't ruin my hopes of an updated jullianne picture! She is so strange looking, it seems like they try to hide her weight/mobility problems in photos, so I am genuinely curious what she looks like now. We haven't seen a full body shot of her in like 5 years.
 

multiverse

Not actually Merissa OR Heather
True & Honest Fan
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Don't ruin my hopes of an updated jullianne picture! She is so strange looking, it seems like they try to hide her weight/mobility problems in photos, so I am genuinely curious what she looks like now. We haven't seen a full body shot of her in like 5 years.
Not true.

July 28 2019
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June 1 2019 (if you haven't guessed yet, J only has one dress that fits.)
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Oct 13, 2018
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MirnaMinkoff

Mama, nobody sends you a turd and expects to live.
True & Honest Fan
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multiverse

Not actually Merissa OR Heather
True & Honest Fan
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Man, Raegan is really catching up to Julianne in the weight Dept. She used to look like a small fat next to Julianne, but now she’s starting to punch in Julianne’s heavy-weight division
I'm dead shocked that Ragen weighed in at a mere 288 for the Guinness folks in January 2018. To be fair, she was actually doing some regular walking and swimming at that point.

But ever since Julianne took a turn for the worse early this year, followed by Ragen's own injuries from attempting to walk or swim, Ragen looks as if she's gaining. She's going to gain more since she's given up pretending to do an Ironman and periodically having to work out long enough to take a selfie.

Poor Julianne's family. They tried to separate her from Ragen at one point years back, saying they were really worried about her health and desperate to see her live. Ragen brought down a narcissist's wrath of god and forbade Juliane from seeing such "toxic" people... unless they needed their money and physical assistance (J's mom is a nurse), as they have in the past year.
 

Salubrious

Feelin' Healthy
kiwifarms.net

This pros and cons list is hilarious.

I especially like the "pros" of her not pushing harder than she wants to, unlimited bathroom breaks, "my race my rules", her personal aid station, and that she doesn't have to train for another year. Because there are no Ironman races in the spring apparently. Also, training hard and pushing hard are bad.

Edit: October 8th since I had the last post.


Ragen has reached the "discourage her audience as much as possible to make sure they don't find out she is full of shit" part of the triathlon journey.

Shark bites! Snake bites! Jellyfish stings! Broken glass!

Don't go outside everyone; just stay inside in your comfortable chairs in front of your computers.
 
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multiverse

Not actually Merissa OR Heather
True & Honest Fan
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Since giving up on ever finishing an Ironman - because she is very fat and out of shape and dows not wish to change those things but still wanted a medal - things have been quiet-ish on the Ragen front. Since she isn't working or even pretending to work any longer (Julianne is a "remote executive assistant" and her family pays their bills), Ragen has decided that anything she and Julianne do is brave and applause-worthy activism. Because they're fat and not dead yet, though Julianne is clearly immobile and on her way out. So clap for them! And don't you dare try to rescue Julianne from Ragen's toxic clutches ever again, Julianne's family - Ragen won't stand for her meal ticket learning to stand on her own two feet again.
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Punkinsplice

An cermet and I talk shit about you
True & Honest Fan
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Since giving up on ever finishing an Ironman - because she is very fat and out of shape and dows not wish to change those things but still wanted a medal - things have been quiet-ish on the Ragen front. Since she isn't working or even pretending to work any longer (Julianne is a "remote executive assistant" and her family pays their bills), Ragen has decided that anything she and Julianne do is brave and applause-worthy activism. Because they're fat and not dead yet, though Julianne is clearly immobile and on her way out. So clap for them! And don't you dare try to rescue Julianne from Ragen's toxic clutches ever again, Julianne's family - Ragen won't stand for her meal ticket learning to stand on her own two feet again.
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where are these articles about how to fat shame relatives on Thanksgiving? I never see those. I just see all the blogging over "reeeeeee toxic thins were at the table and judged me silently!"
 

Angry New Ager

CLINTON 2020: "One Nation, Under a Groove..."
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Since giving up on ever finishing an Ironman - because she is very fat and out of shape and dows not wish to change those things but still wanted a medal - things have been quiet-ish on the Ragen front. Since she isn't working or even pretending to work any longer (Julianne is a "remote executive assistant" and her family pays their bills), Ragen has decided that anything she and Julianne do is brave and applause-worthy activism. Because they're fat and not dead yet, though Julianne is clearly immobile and on her way out. So clap for them! And don't you dare try to rescue Julianne from Ragen's toxic clutches ever again, Julianne's family - Ragen won't stand for her meal ticket learning to stand on her own two feet again.
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Ragen looks like she's gained weight. May she continue to do so.
 

sperginity

honest and open with everybody my entire life
True & Honest Fan
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Since giving up on ever finishing an Ironman - because she is very fat and out of shape and dows not wish to change those things but still wanted a medal - things have been quiet-ish on the Ragen front. Since she isn't working or even pretending to work any longer (Julianne is a "remote executive assistant" and her family pays their bills), Ragen has decided that anything she and Julianne do is brave and applause-worthy activism. Because they're fat and not dead yet, though Julianne is clearly immobile and on her way out. So clap for them! And don't you dare try to rescue Julianne from Ragen's toxic clutches ever again, Julianne's family - Ragen won't stand for her meal ticket learning to stand on her own two feet again.
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they still haven't featured julianne's hooves in any of the photos. they are hiding something. I'm imagining an amberlynn reid-esque ankle roll.
 

MirnaMinkoff

Mama, nobody sends you a turd and expects to live.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Since giving up on ever finishing an Ironman - because she is very fat and out of shape and dows not wish to change those things but still wanted a medal - things have been quiet-ish on the Ragen front. Since she isn't working or even pretending to work any longer (Julianne is a "remote executive assistant" and her family pays their bills), Ragen has decided that anything she and Julianne do is brave and applause-worthy activism. Because they're fat and not dead yet, though Julianne is clearly immobile and on her way out. So clap for them! And don't you dare try to rescue Julianne from Ragen's toxic clutches ever again, Julianne's family - Ragen won't stand for her meal ticket learning to stand on her own two feet again.
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Lol, does Julianne have dog portrait (of a pug) tattooed on her forearm? I make fun of ppl’s ugly baby tattoos all the time, but I’m new to the hideous “fur baby” tattoo world.

I love her posting Julianne “surprised her with a trip” When you weigh 500 lbs and require a scooter to get around logistics alone mean there are no surprise trips.