Containment Random Chris Updates -

If you really had to who would you sex?


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Jasonfan89

Ki ki ki ma ma ma
kiwifarms.net
The scary thing is that I can see this happening 1:1 if Chris ever went somewhere shady like Detroit or San Francisco
Given how he dressers in public I don't know if a mugger still mentally sound enough to "size up" a mark would consider Chris a good one. They generally go after people dressed decently or wearing uniforms of places that indicate some form of gainful employment.

With how Chris dresses and talks to thin air calling it "hubby two" most theives would move on assuming he's just another crazy wandering around looking for handouts. But then again I'm talking about the ones who are theives for a living and still have a sound mind.
 

The Dude

Bro, don't even bro, bro.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Given how he dressers in public I don't know if a mugger still mentally sound enough to "size up" a mark would consider Chris a good one. They generally go after people dressed decently or wearing uniforms of places that indicate some form of gainful employment.

With how Chris dresses and talks to thin air calling it "hubby two" most theives would move on assuming he's just another crazy wandering around looking for handouts. But then again I'm talking about the ones who are theives for a living and still have a sound mind.
What could any thief ever hope to take if they rolled Chris? A half dozen Happy Meal toys, a couple My Little Ponys, a handful of poorly painted pokeballs, and maybe a grimy 3DS? Possibly Chris' Switch, which will also likely be poorly painted, crusted in grime, or both? He has nothing of value, no cash, and no money in his account. No one would ever roll Chris hoping for profits. Beat his ass because he's a freak who dresses weird? Absolutely.
 

Fapcop

kiwifarms.net
Quite simple really. Eat smaller proportions and then do some exercises everyday. I used to do the Calorie Mate thing and that was killing me so I just stopped doing it and it worked!

But I do hope Chris does actually lose some fat.
I don’t. With the added fat you can squint your eyes and in the right light, Chris kinda-sorta looks like a (fat) old lady.

Imagine what he’d look like with that stringy, balding hair if he lost 50 lbs.

Btw: Ill bet you it’s what he drinks that prevents him from losing weight and not so much his (no doubt horrific) diet.

You want to lose weight, cut out the sugary drinks. That one step by itself is enough to make many people lose weight.

It’s real easy to consume 1000-1500 calories a day in soda, “iced tea” and all the other crap Chris drinks every day. That’s half of all the calories you can consume in a day without gaining weight. Add three meals on top of that, and you’re quickly looking at +3000 calories. Aka: skinnyfat land.
 

TrippinKahlua

From RC Enthusiast to T-Shirt Brand.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
This photo is from last year's 4th of July celebration.

The classic was lost when Chris went to Bronycon 2018. Barb lost it while cleaning his room (along with some VHS tapes), and he responded by punching and humping a pillow in front of her.

Sauce: the 1st message here:
Barb threw away the VHS tapes? @The Tape Collector wouldn't like that
 
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Fapcop

kiwifarms.net
With how Chris dresses and talks to thin air calling it "hubby two" most theives would move on assuming he's just another crazy wandering around looking for handouts.
Right until they see his brand new iPhone in one paw, and an older iPhone or iPod Touch in the other paw, because Chris is playing Pokémon Go, just saw a Pokestop and has zero situational awareness.

(And also because he’s a greedy fuck who can’t help but abuse the everliving fuck out of a system if he thinks he can get away with it. Chris is the kind of person who makes socialism unworkable. If the government started giving away free toilet paper, Chris would fill the van to the brim, just because it’s free, and because he thinks he’s being crafty.)

Then the experienced eyes of the hoodlum would wander across Chris’s ample body and notice the three Pokewalkers he’s also got hooked to his belt, and the full soft drink he’s undoubtedly also holding.

This tells him that Chris might be a loon, but he’s a loon with plenty of disposable income. And since the drink is almost full, that must mean he just bought it and therefore has cash on him aside from $1500 worth of electronic toys.


Nah, Chris wouldn’t last 15 minutes in a rough area. He might look like a harmless loon, but that also means he’s an easy mark who won’t fight back.

What could any thief ever hope to take if they rolled Chris? A half dozen Happy Meal toys, a couple My Little Ponys, a handful of poorly painted pokeballs, and maybe a grimy 3DS? Possibly Chris' Switch, which will also likely be poorly painted, crusted in grime, or both? He has nothing of value, no cash, and no money in his account. No one would ever roll Chris hoping for profits. Beat his ass because he's a freak who dresses weird? Absolutely.
One man’s grime encrusted Switch/3DS is another man’s 10$ crack rock.

You also forget Chris’s brand new iPhone and that he doesn’t leave the house without several other recent Apple gizmos within arms reach.
 
Last edited:

Jasonfan89

Ki ki ki ma ma ma
kiwifarms.net
Right until they see his brand new iPhone in one paw, and an older iPhone or iPod Touch in the other paw, because Chris is playing Pokémon Go, just saw a Pokestop and has zero situational awareness.

(And also because he’s a greedy fuck who can’t help but abuse the everliving fuck out of a system if he thinks he can get away with it. Chris is the kind of person who makes socialism unworkable. If the government started giving away free toilet paper, Chris would fill the van to the brim, just because it’s free, and because he thinks he’s being crafty.)

Then the experienced eyes of the hoodlum would wander across Chris’s ample body and notice the three Pokewalkers he’s also got hooked to his belt, and the full soft drink he’s undoubtedly also holding.

This tells him that Chris might be a loon, but he’s a loon with plenty of disposable income. And since the drink is almost full, that must mean he just bought it and therefore has cash on him aside from $1500 worth of electronic toys.


Nah, Chris wouldn’t last 15 minutes in a rough area. He might look like a harmless loon, but that also means he’s an easy mark who won’t fight back.



One man’s grime encrusted Switch/3DS is another man’s 10$ crack rock.

You also forget Chris’s brand new iPhone and that he doesn’t leave the house without several other recent Apple gizmos within arms reach.

Chris is the kind of stooge that made Steve jobs a very happy mam up until he died.

A mindless consumerist drone with undying loyalty to his crappy product that never questioned him or the quality of the product.

And was always rushing to buy the latest product even if was barley an improvement over the last model
 

Mariposa Electrique

In 2021, Shit will hit the fan 4 Chris
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Given how he dressers in public I don't know if a mugger still mentally sound enough to "size up" a mark would consider Chris a good one. They generally go after people dressed decently or wearing uniforms of places that indicate some form of gainful employment.

With how Chris dresses and talks to thin air calling it "hubby two" most theives would move on assuming he's just another crazy wandering around looking for handouts. But then again I'm talking about the ones who are theives for a living and still have a sound mind.
He would still get BTFO by niggers.
 

Juhlonduss

kiwifarms.net
The scary thing is that I can see this happening 1:1 if Chris ever went somewhere shady like Detroit or San Francisco
He'd be fine in Detroit as long as he doesn't venture outside of the downtown area. Even then, I doubt he'd be attacked as most people would assume he's a harmless crackhead who wandered in from the suburbs who generally get left alone unless they're trying to pull some fucked up crackhead scheme. If he came up to the wrong person at a bus stop and started preaching about the merge, though, yeah, he'd get shot.
 

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