Containment Random Chris Updates -

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If you really had to who would you sex?


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Mason Verger

was she a great big healthy at any size person?
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
He's talking about Ribbons. It sounds impressive, but it isn't. You basically get these just by doing not-very-difficult challenges in each game and you can transfer a Pokémon from a previous generation and it will have all the Ribbons still on it.

It's pretty much just a side thing and has no effect on the gameplay, besides giving you more shit to grind out, so naturally, Chris cares deeply about it.
So his just bitching because he can’t transfer his special trophy’s over? I thought those were at least characters he was crying about.
 

Second Missing Primarch

Guilliman/el'Jonson 2020: Vote or Die, Heretics
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
So his just bitching because he can’t transfer his special trophy’s over? I thought those were at least characters he was crying about.
He's bitching about not being able to transfer one specific Pokemon (the Blaziken) that has got a ton of those ribbons because he's been trading it forward from game to game since Ruby, which came out seventeen years ago. The ribbons don't even mean that much. You get most of them just by buying them or talking to the right NPCs. There are some that require a bit of effort, but I doubt he bothered to get those.

I played the first pokemon religiously when I was a kid and I think I never got a level 100 without cheating. The Level curve by level 90 is STEEP. Chris has gotta spend incredible amounts of time to grind up to level 100.
Eh, not so much anymore. They've added all kinds of ways to boost XP gain in the newer games that make it relatively easy to get all your pokeymanz to 100.
 

Cuttlefish

kiwifarms.net
That screenshot isn't even from Chris's Pokemon game!

The screenshot has a level 50 Blaziken which is presumably called Blaziken, belonging to a trainer called Nicole. Can't he even take a screenshot from his own game?

As I understand it, only certain Pokemon can be taken into Sword/Shield (which is why most of them have a crossed out mark next to them) - they made an exception and allowed certain new ones into the game (like the other original starters). Unless the expansion they're doing for the DLC includes his precious Blaziken then he's not going to be able to bring it in. Like they told us from the start. Like Chris knew, and told us wasn't a big deal when everyone else was complaining about it.
 

Mr. Manchester

Clickity Clack
kiwifarms.net
He's talking about Ribbons. It sounds impressive, but it isn't. You basically get these just by doing not-very-difficult challenges in each game and you can transfer a Pokémon from a previous generation and it will have all the Ribbons still on it.

It's pretty much just a side thing and has no effect on the gameplay, besides giving you more shit to grind out, so naturally, Chris cares deeply about it.
Makes me wonder if all the motherfuckers spending wads of cash on Chris had to do was give him little collectable awards instead. Just every month go buy some default award from Hobby Lobby, glitter the bitch, and send it off with their letter.

"Dear Christine Weston Chandler,

CONGRATULATIONS!

Your original creations and talents have earned you the Mr. Manchester Society Brony Blue Award which is enclosed in this large envelope with no return address! Our society presents these awards to the greatest exceptional individual we can find! Please see the catalog below of all the awards you can win and check the online leader board at www.freebullshitwebsite.com"
 

Swanky Kong

kiwifarms.net
That screenshot isn't even from Chris's Pokemon game!

The screenshot has a level 50 Blaziken which is presumably called Blaziken, belonging to a trainer called Nicole. Can't he even take a screenshot from his own game?
That IS a screenshot taken by Chris. You can see his Switch profile icon at the top which matches the profile he added me on. It is definitely weird that he is lying about literally everything else in relation to this Blaziken. Seeing how he has part of a complete dex in the photo, I would not be surprised if he bought a 100% collection somewhere online so he may pass it off as his own.
 

Argh My Cigar

You like grilled cheese?
kiwifarms.net
I like to think little Chris always believed he was the most awesomest Pokemon Master around until one day he got his ass handed to him by someone who methodically studied the meta-game, of which crushed his ego for an entire 15 minutes before he rationalized that the RNG mystically bestows higher stats to all opposing teams because of his awtism.
 

jc17

kiwifarms.net
Cleaning can take a really long time if someone doesn't know how to do it right. There are also two types of clean - the appearance of clean and actually clean. The appearance of clean means stuff might look alright on the surface but if you look too closely it might really be dusty or someone might have just take a bunch of dirty stuff and shoved it into a closet. Actual cleaning takes a bit of time to learn how to do. It means taking everything off of a bookshelf, dusting it and cleaning stuff as you put it back on the shelves. It means getting on your knees and cleaning the whole toilet, not just the inside of the bowl. When Chris made videos to show the progress of cleaning his room a lot of it was just moving stuff around and it did actually look better but I doubt he has any idea of how to really clean anything. That makes me feel very, very bad for him. Not everyone who grew up in a dirty home will learn how to clean properly as an adult so it's doubtful the house will ever be truly clean, even if they threw out a bunch of the junk.
Get some bags, label them "clothes", "garbage", "other" and start sorting.

Once the trash is gone and the laundry is going, sort through the last bag separating what to keep or what to get rid of.

It's not hard.
 

The Dude

Bro, don't even bro, bro.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
No one cares, Chris.

Other people, employed or unemployed, worry about covering bills, paying the rent, meeting deadlines, heck just whether their life is going anywhere worthwhile in general. Chris gets pissy that he can't grandstand in Pokémon.
But he put a GRAND AMOUNT of TIME and GREAT EFFORT into that birdman pogeymongo! They should have known that he would want to transfer it to the new game! The goddess commands it!

Chris's virtual life and pets are compusivly well kept

Chris's IRL life and pets are neglected and viewed as a unimportant distraction
Taking care of real animals is hard and takes actual effort. It's easier to just push buttons on a video game controller.

Meanwhile people in China were dying of the coronavirus...
Chris doesn't know what or where China is, aside for a childish euphemism for female genitalia.

It must be weird being chris where time passes forward but your mental age at best stays at the point of a 13 year old

infact i would say it has decreased in the past few years
You give Chris far too much credit. At best Chris has the mentality of a 9 year old.

Enjoy spooning with your octogenarian mother (while you still can, because it won't be long now) and talking to your imaginary spouses, Chris.

Don't know why Chris is shit-talking Garbage Pail Kids when he is a Garbage Pail Kid for all intents and purposes.
 
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Super Colon Blow

Does she have big thingies?
kiwifarms.net
Oh, don't worry about that, Chrissy. *flashes huge perverted grin and leaves many things unsaid*

I can only imagine the horrible bull moose mating noises that will be coming from Chris's room as he pretends to fuck thin air, e.g., his "loves." Ugh, I feel sick typing that. Barb will have the TV cranked full blast to cover it up.
 

Hogar Grupal

Chris Needs Me
kiwifarms.net
Get some bags, label them "clothes", "garbage", "other" and start sorting.

Once the trash is gone and the laundry is going, sort through the last bag separating what to keep or what to get rid of.

It's not hard.
This is the Chandler's we're talking about. Barb is mental, and Chris is lazy to take out the trash.

Who the fuck cares about the garbage pail kids anymore?
Chris with his outdated references. Unless he's secretly saying that he's the Garbage Pail Kid (which is really a one hell of self-realization for Chris)
 

Jasonfan89

Ki ki ki ma ma ma
kiwifarms.net
Who the fuck cares about the garbage pail kids anymore?
Apparently Chris does, someone must have said something bad about them on a FB group he either lurked on or tried to join. Then again it could reflect just how out of touch Chris is, I'm amazed he didn't try to say anything about people who think d&d is a "devil's game" an argument thats been debunked and dead for years.