Containment Random Chris Updates -

[John Carmack]

I knew Chris was gaining weight, but I didn't realize he'd gotten quite this large. To have a neck waddle like that at 35 is a very bad sign, obviously. I think it's safe to say his youthful metabolism has finally called it quits. He's probably gaining a pound or two a month now. Diabetes is going to be a bitch.

Gone are the days when he was incredulous at Liquid for accusing him of being a mere 220 pounds.

Liquid: Yeah, and not to mention that he is fat and ugly.

Chris:

I AM NOT FAT, GODDAMMIT!!!


Liquid: Yeah, you are! You look like you weigh a good 220 pounds.

Chris: I do not weigh 220 pounds! I weigh less, I weigh a lot less than that, you, you

WEAK LITTLE SON OF A BITCH!

 

[The American Hedgehog]

Now that both his tugboat and Patreon money have come in, Chris bought a compilation of Crash Bandicoot games for $40. The set was released a week ago.

 

[Lucas Wolf]

Now that both his tugboat and Patreon money have come in, Chris bought a compilation of Crash Bandicoot games for $40. The set was released a week ago.

View attachment 243373

I thought they needed money "fer food"

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

Now that both his tugboat and Patreon money have come in, Chris bought a compilation of Crash Bandicoot games for $40. The set was released a week ago.

View attachment 243373

What does the setsiest woman in the world buy himself to make his life complete?
Old toys

 

[Trilby]

I've also met people who are heavier (fatter) than Chris, who don't have the same fat distribution. It's like, the only places he has fat are on his trunk and inside his chins. I bet he thinks he has a Jessica Rabbit body type.

Oh, love to see that achieved!

What a healthy, nutrious meal, Chris. Is this how you maintain that sexy, trim figure?View attachment 243287

So he drowned his burger in gravy and stuck it on a slice of Hostess bread? Those are not even mashed potatoes, unless Chris attempted Poutine.

The burger is on sliced bread rather than a bun?? Is the mash supposed to be the thing in top?? Or is that more sliced bread??

I thought it was a slice of cheese.

Does Chris think that fries class as mash because they are both potato??

Probably. Probably got that from Barb.

I'm going to stop trying to make sense of this vile concoction and go vomit..

It's beyond me how one individual be so autistic that even their food has autism.

True.

 

[jc17]

Now that both his tugboat and Patreon money have come in, Chris bought a compilation of Crash Bandicoot games for $40. The set was released a week ago.

View attachment 243373

So... this patreon of his... how will buying these games aid him in making the comic?

I mean, fuck. If I had a patreon, I'd upgrade my equipment, buy a bigger tablet, buy a better cam and mic for live drawing sessions, maybe go back to physical medium and buy some bristol board paper or something, experiment with pencils and ink and see if anyone would be interested in buying my crap, maybe look into getting a bigger scanner-

-THE POINT- here I am just planning all this out if I was fortunate to have people pay for my work, I'd give them indication their money isn't going to waste - and here's Chris just farting away the funds meant for food and artwork instead on video games.

 

[Slowinthemind]

So... this patreon of his... how will buying these games aid him in making the comic?

I mean, fuck. If I had a patreon, I'd upgrade my equipment, buy a bigger tablet, buy a better cam and mic for live drawing sessions, maybe go back to physical medium and buy some bristol board paper or something, experiment with pencils and ink and see if anyone would be interested in buying my crap, maybe look into getting a bigger scanner-

-THE POINT- here I am just planning all this out if I was fortunate to have people pay for my work, I'd give them indication their money isn't going to waste - and here's Chris just farting away the funds meant for food and artwork instead on video games.

Weens know what they were paying for when they decided to sponsor fatties patreon.

 

[Gunslinger]

Chris gives out his measurements.

View attachment 243255

I doubt Chris knows how to measure himself properly. This is evidenced by his continuing insistence that he has D cup boobs when its obvious they aren't. I don't think his waist measures 39" either, not that that's an achievement for anyone let alone someone who claims to be a woman. These are the measurements of a man, not the hour-glassed figured woman he sees when he looks in a mirror.

 

[ModeloEspecial]

Doesn't Chris still wear his fakes breasts?

 

[RADICALGOBLIN]

Doesn't Chris still wear his fakes breasts?

the manboobs do the job just fine.

 

[InTheSidePocket]

Gone are the days when he was incredulous at Liquid for accusing him of being a mere 220 pounds.

Liquid: Yeah, and not to mention that he is fat and ugly.

Chris:

I AM NOT FAT, GODDAMMIT!!!


Liquid: Yeah, you are! You look like you weigh a good 220 pounds.

Chris: I do not weigh 220 pounds! I weigh less, I weigh a lot less than that, you, you

WEAK LITTLE SON OF A BITCH!

Is this considered role play?

 

[Jack Awful]

Chris continues creeping on Doopie.

 

[Silvally]

Chris continues creeping on Doopie.
View attachment 243722

god help us

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

Chris continues creeping on Doopie.
View attachment 243722

I bet Chris was sprouting an extra small gherkin when he was talking about those photos.

 

[ON 190]

Chris continues creeping on Doopie.
View attachment 243722

I don’t see anything that even vaguely resembles a pikman in that picture. Chris, do you think doopie grows underground and needs to be picked every day?

 

[The Fifth Waltz]

This is evidenced by his continuing insistence that he has D cup boobs when its obvious they aren't.

There's girls out there who have DD tits that don't look their size. Like what someone said before it's all about distribution.

 

[jc17]

There's girls out there who have DD tits that don't look their size. Like what someone said before it's all about distribution.

Knowing him, he probably put on a double d bra meant for someone with a smaller figure and instead of thinking, "This may be a tad small..." hes thinking, "Hmm... This bra is really tight... MY BOOBS MUST BE HUUUGE! Hmm... Yeah."

 

[Picklechu]

Knowing him, he probably put on a double d bra meant for someone with a smaller figure and instead of thinking, "This may be a tad small..." hes thinking, "Hmm... This bra is really tight... MY BOOBS MUST BE HUUUGE! Hmm... Yeah."

He had some poor retail employee (at Walmart, IIRC) size him a few years ago, but I think they either measured incorrectly, only measured the strap part, or Chris thinks that his moobs have grown significantly.

 

[Smurfchu]

"Hot hamburger plate" looks and sounds like a quirky menu item at some greasy spoon diner.

"Hot Hamburger Plate" sounds like a dirty sex move, like a "Cleveland Steamer" or an "Alligator Slap".

 

[Lipitor]

"Roberta Sonichu's Bedroom"

View attachment 243235

"A reference drawing of her bedroom, currently, in three photographic perspectives."

lol Roberta actually knows how to clean his room.

I'm pretty confused at his use of 'mic drop,' here as well. In the U.K. A 39 inch waist is a 2XL and considered to be very unhealthy. Obviously I'm not saying it's some sort of surprise that Chris is a fat fuck, I'm just in shock that he thinks it's something to show off.

The mic drop thing is so old, i'm sure it's made it's way into a cartoon as a reference many times. It's probably one of those jokes that's for the parent's watching with the kids, but has been used so many times Chris picked up on it without actually knowing the reference. At least that's what i'm assuming, I don't think chris watches any live action shows filmed after the 90s ended.