Containment Random Chris Updates

[Wraith]

I imagine this is how Chris' Thanksgiving went

Now I can't get the image out of my head of Chris looking like this after taking off one of his shirts he's worn for a few days.

 

[MY 405]

I'm being super here, but maybe he typoed "unrequired"? Like "all this unnecessary evil, which we literally do not need"? That would be at least mildly humorous because that's been everybody's complaint about his comic books -- that there's not enough antagonism? But of course Graduon, who now has a body, donated some land he happened to own which Mary Lee er, I mean Slaweel Ryam totally could have used to her advantage adjacent to CWCville for the implementation of the "Fine Ol' Solution," which is actually unrequired evil, in that there is literally one Jewish kid in CWCville (who doesn't appear to have parents, even) and he could keel over at any moment from chocolate or nut allergies anyway if someone gives him the wrong cookie.

I'm looking forward to the CWCVille Gang battle with Graduon and Mary Slaweel over the adjacent easement rights vs. the City Limits.

 

[Datiko]

The thing is, you need to meet Chris IRL to pull that off. There are exceptions, but by and large, an IRL presence was behind almost every major troll after Ivy. Including recent ones that don't necessarily look like e-girlfriend ploys.

At the point where he can't trust the people he meets IRL, I think we have a situation where it's no longer fair to criticize Chris (for that particular fuck up, not in general). At that point, we're basically laughing at Chris for being catfished with IRL actors. That's pretty fucked, I'd say.

I disagree. If Chris were actually learning then he would gain enough self-awareness to realize that he has nothing to offer any romantic partner, business partner, or even a friend. Now were Chris falling for IRL trolls after getting in shape and getting a job I would agree with you.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

Oh, hell, WHO taught him 'unrequited'?!

Judging by his misuse of it, no one. I find it strangely endearing when he tries to use grown-up words. I guess he heard the phrase "unrequited love" and thought it meant "unwanted love." Or he just figured that as he doesn't really know what it means with his IQ of 300, then surely no one else could either.

I like the thing about doing good "in all our worlds." I guess that's how he justifies his lack of achievement these days - he may not have a job here, but in Ponyland he's a goddamn superhero.

 

[Bubbleman]

I don't know how much Chris is actually "learning" though. I mean he's more paranoid of trolls, but he still falls for sweethearts and occasionally other trolls, and still tard rages sometimes. I'm sure someone who pretends to be a sweetheart and manages to trick Chris could get nudes. Jessica probably could've gotten nudes if they wanted to.

You seem particularly fixated on the idea of someone getting nudes out of Chris. Do you have something to tell us?

 

[Computery Guy]

TBH if it ever gets to the point where trolls start meeting Chris IRL just to extract the last few drops from this cow's carcass then he'll essentially be the first ever Truman Show and that will be remarkably fucked up.

 

[Gunslinger]

'Unrequited evils'.

What the fuck?

Not returned evils?

Chris really needs to start using a fucking dictionary before he tries to sound all fancy and cultured.

Well this is the guy who came up with "pristine Christine" for the cover of his Vanity Fair pic and created a new ebay account of the same name, yet didn't look up the meaning of pristine until weeks later.

 

[BigTubboWithLittleChina]

Well this is the guy who came up with "pristine Christine" for the cover of his Vanity Fair pic and created a new ebay account of the same name, yet didn't look up the meaning of pristine until weeks later.

oh the ironies is delicious

 

[Trilby]

oh the ironies is delicious

All because he's a lazy ass not to bother checking first.

 

[Cuntster]

You seem particularly fixated on the idea of someone getting nudes out of Chris. Do you have something to tell us?

I for one would appreciate a photographic update of UnClit 2.0.

 

[Fleshy Sanik]

I imagine this is how Chris' Thanksgiving went

Iirc it was confirmed last year that chris and barb had these for dinner
https://www.amazon.com/Hungry-Man-Dinners-Roasted-Carved-Turkey/dp/B004BK20RG

 

[Trilby]

Iirc it was confirmed last year that chris and barb had these for dinner
https://www.amazon.com/Hungry-Man-Dinners-Roasted-Carved-Turkey/dp/B004BK20RG

So, more the same.

 

[Buck Mullet]

Iirc it was confirmed last year that chris and barb had these for dinner
https://www.amazon.com/Hungry-Man-Dinners-Roasted-Carved-Turkey/dp/B004BK20RG

Wrong. https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/posts/1220802644680879

 

[trueandhonestfan]

Wrong. https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/posts/1220802644680879

Cut up hot dogs, the traditional holiday feast of every manchild.

 

[Kosher Dill]

TBH if it ever gets to the point where trolls start meeting Chris IRL just to extract the last few drops from this cow's carcass then he'll essentially be the first ever Truman Show and that will be remarkably fucked up.

That's been going on since the beginning. Besides Emily and the Pickle Man, Robert Simmons V met Chris and Bob IRL, and long-time field operative Kim Wilson was one of the "Big Night Out" girls. I think he met Kacey at one point as well, but the wiki's down so I can't confirm.
Post-tomgirl, Catherine and "Big Al" met Chris in person while wearing a wire to record their dates, and we've had a few people go up and just knock on the door of 14BC to see what would happen. And from what @Marvin has told us, any new "in" into Chris' life requires some sort of IRL connection.

 

[Computery Guy]

That's been going on since the beginning. Besides Emily and the Pickle Man, Robert Simmons V met Chris and Bob IRL, and long-time field operative Kim Wilson was one of the "Big Night Out" girls. I think he met Kacey at one point as well, but the wiki's down so I can't confirm.
Post-tomgirl, Catherine and "Big Al" met Chris in person while wearing a wire to record their dates, and we've had a few people go up and just knock on the door of 14BC to see what would happen. And from what @Marvin has told us, any new "in" into Chris' life requires some sort of IRL connection.

...I'm torn between a desire to binge the Cwcki and a sort of odd horror on Chris' behalf.

On the other hand, he's too stupid to understand the implications, so I don't feel THAT bad for him.

 

[Marvin]

That's been going on since the beginning. Besides Emily and the Pickle Man, Robert Simmons V met Chris and Bob IRL, and long-time field operative Kim Wilson was one of the "Big Night Out" girls. I think he met Kacey at one point as well, but the wiki's down so I can't confirm.
Post-tomgirl, Catherine and "Big Al" met Chris in person while wearing a wire to record their dates, and we've had a few people go up and just knock on the door of 14BC to see what would happen. And from what @Marvin has told us, any new "in" into Chris' life requires some sort of IRL connection.

Yeah, that's how it's been for quite a long time. Now, we frequently used "creative" techniques to justify trolls, where the actual troll character never meets Chris, but they're verified by someone else who has already met Chris IRL. But yeah, everyone other than the first few trolls (panda and Ivy, maybe one or two others?) always needed some sort of special sauce to get into Chris' good graces.

That always used to mean an IRL connection.

However, there was one big change in Chris' behavior that I did not predict. I did not predict Chris actually making a successful business selling Sonichu crap on patreon. With these video / interview requests, he's basically selling his attention too.

So yeah, I would amend my long running advice to say that you need an IRL connection OR you'll need to waste money on Chris in order to get an in with him.

 

[ON 190]

Wrong. https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/posts/1220802644680879

Like hell. This year it was Pringles!

 

[Done]

I disagree. If Chris were actually learning then he would gain enough self-awareness to realize that he has nothing to offer any romantic partner, business partner, or even a friend. Now were Chris falling for IRL trolls after getting in shape and getting a job I would agree with you.

That's a bit hard to explain, so bear with me..

Chris has no theory of mind, he doesn't understand the larger scheme that the trolls are trying to pull, and he clearly doesn't understand how (essentially) the same trick keeps working on him so many times despite all the measures he takes.

This is because fundamentally, Chris doesn't understand how much his autism contributes to his life problems, versus the contribution by his isolation and lack of actual life experience. He thinks that we have all found the perfect algorithm that helps you find life mates, and we're all hiding it from him. This also manifested in his then-constant pleas for "Date Ed" to become a thing.

So whenever he is trolled, let's say by Ivy, he learns to not trust a trollsona even if they talked to his parents on the phone beforehand. But that doesn't cover OKCupid for example (Catherine's initial 'in' was from there, IIRC), because he only learned how to prevent this particular permutation or this infiltration technique. So when the next trollsona comes along, Chris won't blink an eye, as long as she comes with a new "In", like Jessica did (Basically befriending him on FB for a long ass time, get him to trust, and catch him while he's desperate).

Also, there is the possible factor of him feeling that the possibility of any companionship/attention, even if fake, is better than having none at all, hence him allowing Jessica back in as a friend for example, despite him suspecting her of being a troll.

Yeah, that's how it's been for quite a long time. Now, we frequently used "creative" techniques to justify trolls, where the actual troll character never meets Chris, but they're verified by someone else who has already met Chris IRL. But yeah, everyone other than the first few trolls (panda and Ivy, maybe one or two others?) always needed some sort of special sauce to get into Chris' good graces.

That always used to mean an IRL connection.

However, there was one big change in Chris' behavior that I did not predict. I did not predict Chris actually making a successful business selling Sonichu crap on patreon. With these video / interview requests, he's basically selling his attention too.

So yeah, I would amend my long running advice to say that you need an IRL connection OR you'll need to waste money on Chris in order to get an in with him.

I think this is less planned and more of a welcome side-effect (to him at least) that came about due to him selling the Sonichu stuff. Which IMO, was driven by 2 thoughts in Chris' head:

• The Financhu Crisis.
• Him not wanting to work on anything other than what he likes to do.
  
• Him still thinking that Sonichu has *some* actual importance to non-trolls, and thus having a sale value.

Because I don't really think that Chris is capable of contemplating a real give-and-take equation like this (Monetizing your trolls at the cost of more potential trolling). He wants the whole lot all the time (Well, he did eventually somewhat compromise on his sweetheart requirements, but you know what I mean).

This situation just feels like total accident to me, I don't even think he is even aware that this is the equation that runs his life right now. He just thinks business is going up now.

 

[Marvin]

Chris has no theory of mind, he doesn't understand the larger scheme that the trolls are trying to pull, and he clearly doesn't understand how (essentially) the same trick keeps working on him so many times despite all the measures he takes.

This is because fundamentally, Chris doesn't understand how much his autism contributes to his life problems, versus the contribution by his isolation and lack of actual life experience. He thinks that we have all found the perfect algorithm that helps you find life mates, and we're all hiding it from him. This also manifested in his then-constant pleas for "Date Ed" to become a thing.

Totally.

So whenever he is trolled, let's say by Ivy, he learns to not trust a trollsona even if they talked to his parents on the phone beforehand. But that doesn't cover OKCupid for example (Catherine's initial 'in' was from there, IIRC), because he only learned how to prevent this particular permutation or this infiltration technique.

Heh, so, when it comes to Catherine, we actually used extensive inside information to orchestrate that. It actually affected Chris mentally way more than we thought it would, because he kept citing that 98% compatibility rating persistently when Catherine tried to break up with him. We specifically matched every answer we made with every answer he made. It's not that it would be impossible to catfish him independently, but we have aggressively penetrating intelligence on his behavior and actions.

Like trolling Chris is a science, not an art. You don't persuade Chris to fall for your shtick, you pay people who can set you up ahead of time. We got Chris to drive three states over, not because Chris is dumb and we're master manipulators, but because we had an inside source.

So when the next trollsona comes along, Chris won't blink an eye, as long as she comes with a new "In", like Jessica did (Basically befriending him on FB for a long ass time, get him to trust, and catch him while he's desperate).

There are rarely new "in"s. Almost never.