• "I don't believe I've ever posted about my anus but I could be wrong. I do drink."

Random Tumblr posts

Discussion in 'Tumblr (◡‿◡✿)' started by x.eight.six.systems, Feb 21, 2015.

Forum Guidelines

This board is for lolcows whose primary modus operandi is Tumblr, especially those who adhere to severe delusions that defy logic, reason, and science for the purpose of protecting their personal feelings.

  • Hide your powerlevel. Avoid revealing intimate, personal details about yourself in public boards. These threads are not your personal blog and we are not an asylum. Your life story is shit and nobody cares.
  • Be civil. Don't get angry over Lolcows. If you need to tell people you're better than someone, you're probably not.
  • Don't white knight. Don't turn threads into an intervention. If you want to help, contact them privately.
  • Backup everything! Tumblr is a great shelter for Lolcows because it enables them to delete content and hide very quickly. Deny that ability.
  • Check your privilege every day.
  1. That makes it sound so cool, though.
     
    • Agree Agree x 4
    Meowthkip

    Meowthkip I MAKE MONEY OFF OF THE LASAGNA I EAT!
    Staff Member Moderator True & Honest Fan

    kiwifarms.net
  2. Meditation and kung fu will get you possessed by demons too. Just ask Rebecca Brown.
     
    • Informative Informative x 4
    • Semper Fidelis Semper Fidelis x 1
    Steamboat_Bill

    Steamboat_Bill Going to beat the record of the Robert E. Lee

    kiwifarms.net
    • Disagree Disagree x 1
    • Feels Feels x 1
    Gym Leader Elesa

    True & Honest Fan

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  3. Jack Chick says otherwise.
     
    • Dislike Dislike x 1
    Steamboat_Bill

    Steamboat_Bill Going to beat the record of the Robert E. Lee

    kiwifarms.net
  4. Damn, Our Lord and Savior's Prophet? Alright, I renounce my Devil-Faith...
     
    Gym Leader Elesa

    True & Honest Fan

    kiwifarms.net
  5. Now you can stop choking down those death cookies and find your own real personal Saviour!
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
    Steamboat_Bill

    Steamboat_Bill Going to beat the record of the Robert E. Lee

    kiwifarms.net
  6. upload_2017-3-20_23-23-40.png
    No, but the majority of Earth's creatures have a male-female sexual dimorphism so it is 100% ok to assume that other species would too.
     
    • Agree Agree x 16
    kidsquid

    kidsquid pretty good, it doesn't seem

    kiwifarms.net
  7. I love the unspoken implication that they've apparently been sexually intimate with enough extraterrestrials to know this as a fact...
     
    • Winner Winner x 9
    • Semper Fidelis Semper Fidelis x 1
    Sailor_Jupiter

    Sailor_Jupiter There's no escape from the party tube.
    True & Honest Fan

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  8. >be me
    >be abducted by aliens
    >get shown around their spacecraft
    >brought into room with operating table
    >worried im about to get probed
    >strapped down to operating table
    >eyes held open clockwork orange style
    >shown powerpoint presentation about gender pronouns
    >alien tells me to check my privilege
    >dropped back on earth
    >mfw

    Screen Shot 2017-03-20 at 7.55.30 PM.png
     
    • Winner Winner x 26
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    Piga Dgrifm

    Piga Dgrifm Hotsy Totsy Nazi Kill Count: 10 Trillion
    True & Honest Fan

    kiwifarms.net
  9. Is it weird that the part that annoys me the most is "western gender binary", when the vast majority of global cultures have a binary male/female concept of gender and ones with non-binary genders are appreciably rare?
     
    • Agree Agree x 13
    Andrea Twerkin

    Andrea Twerkin Sorry for the mental image

    kiwifarms.net
  10. Even cats have a gender binary. They're just exceptional.
     
    • Agree Agree x 7
    Sailor_Jupiter

    Sailor_Jupiter There's no escape from the party tube.
    True & Honest Fan

    kiwifarms.net
  11. Unless they've met aliens face-to-face we're allowed to make gender binary aliens as we please
     
    • Winner Winner x 7
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    MissMorbid

    MissMorbid In constant pain

    kiwifarms.net
  12. Well, of course, he's a protestant.
     
    • Winner Winner x 2
    • Agree Agree x 1
    Meowthkip

    Meowthkip I MAKE MONEY OFF OF THE LASAGNA I EAT!
    Staff Member Moderator True & Honest Fan

    kiwifarms.net
  13. What if they existed and they were actually all super-repressive of the females- like, so much so that it makes ISIS look like school children. And fanatically pro-life, and anti-gay, and extremely capitalist... Hmmm, am I leaving anything out? That'd be wild. They'd land and be like, "WHY ARE YOUR FEMALES NOT IN THE KITCHEN WHERE THEY BELONG? We've come to talk to the men about lucrative interplanetary slave-trading. But only if you ban abortion and kill all the trannies! MAKE US SOME SAMMICHES, WIMMINZ!"

    I sort of want to write this as a parody... People always tend to envision aliens as being really liberal- it would be kind of lulzy if they really weren't.

    Not that I think they exist in the first place, it's just a funny thought. :autism:

    Someone really does need to write this.
     
    • Agree Agree x 12
    Sailor_Jupiter

    Sailor_Jupiter There's no escape from the party tube.
    True & Honest Fan

    kiwifarms.net
  14. I remember either an Outer Limits or a newer Twilight Zone episode where the aliens landed and chided humanity for our current state. They said that if mankind didn't shape up in [a relatively short period of time], they'd destroy the planet and start over.

    All of Earth came together and, under enormous stress, managed to hammer out a world-peace treaty. The aliens returned, and our heroes presented it to them, having just gotten the last signature...

    ...only to have the aliens inform us that we were intended to be a fierce warrior race, not some slimy peacenik worms. Time to start over. The ships began to descend...
     
    • Informative Informative x 7
    • Feels Feels x 1
    Vorhtbame

    Vorhtbame Drinks her agua to that

    kiwifarms.net
  15. If aliens ever visit our planet, i beg for them to destroy this earth
     
    • Agree Agree x 3
    • Feels Feels x 1
    • Dumb Dumb x 1
    Dicaprio Delorean

    Dicaprio Delorean Yawning Team Galactic grunt

    kiwifarms.net
  16. upload_2017-3-21_18-33-10.png
    Everyone in this tumblr post is fucking exceptional.
     
    • Agree Agree x 7
    • Winner Winner x 2
    • Like Like x 1
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    kidsquid

    kidsquid pretty good, it doesn't seem

    kiwifarms.net
  17. Is OP seriously trying to say the first post was actually a "personal experience"? I'm surprised she didn't try to say that everyone around her broke into applause.
     
    • Agree Agree x 3
    • Winner Winner x 1
    Piga Dgrifm

    Piga Dgrifm Hotsy Totsy Nazi Kill Count: 10 Trillion
    True & Honest Fan

    kiwifarms.net
  18. And that applause's name? Albert Einstein.
     
    • Winner Winner x 2
    • Informative Informative x 1
    • Dumb Dumb x 1
    Feline Darkmage

    Feline Darkmage Cat Burglar
    Staff Member Moderator True & Honest Fan

    kiwifarms.net
    • Feels Feels x 7
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