Trainwreck Raven Sparks / Diana Bradley - Globe-trotting gothic grandma, married a child, abandoned her kid, serial pet-murderer

MirnaMinkoff

Mama, nobody sends you a turd and expects to live.
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I'm surprised no one has posted these yet. Raven said on her instagram that she had been experiencing really bad abdominal pain and pills and a hot water bottle haven't relieved the pain, so she had to go to the ER. By the time she got there she realized she had given herself second degree burns from the hot water bottle. Pictures also feature what look like to be self harm cuts on her thigh.

Also a post about going through things that's totally not related to her marriage, OK??
Guess that “work from home” didn’t even last a month.

Wonder if the burns and cuts got Josh to finally come home and behave? Oh, that’s right, it’s totally not about her marriage and she’s def not “covering for him.” Nice shade Diana. We’d never assume your BPD ass would be the problem. Raven has so much going on in her life besides her current marriage that her entire life definitely does not 100% revolve around whatever man she is currently fucking just as it has for the past thirty years.
 
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Owlflaps

Owl get fucked up
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She's deffo covering for him. She's seething with jealous narc rage that Piltdown is looking at porn, but can't do shit about it. Gravy knows that if she blows it with him, there's not gonna be any other chances for a free ride.

Also cuts and burns in her early forties? Jesus Christ, get some help, crazy Gravy.
 

MirnaMinkoff

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I'm gonna guess she caught Josh watching porn and she's covering for him watching porn.
I figure he just went back to mom or brother’s couch and Raven had to create a medical crisis to show she would die or maim herself with Josh. Really had to up the drama to get him back under heel.

Probably went to the ER because she needed a doctor‘s excuse for skipping out on her new job for a week to narc wrangle her boyfriend.
 

Dirty Bird

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I wonder how the fuck would she not notice being burned enough to get 2nd degree burns unless she was high on pills to not notice. Both of them strike me as possible users. Hell I probably would be too if I was living in their hovel/circumstances/etc.

I remember the way she was shaking around those oxycodones on YouTube after she got in an accident and got a new script. Her mother's funeral also reminded me of that cash grab Luna did when Easter Island statue's father passed away. Wouldn't be the slightest surprised if both are abusing oxys.
 

MirnaMinkoff

Mama, nobody sends you a turd and expects to live.
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I wonder how the fuck would she not notice being burned enough to get 2nd degree burns unless she was high on pills to not notice. Both of them strike me as possible users. Hell I probably would be too if I was living in their hovel/circumstances/etc.

I remember the way she was shaking around those oxycodones on YouTube after she got in an accident and got a new script. Her mother's funeral also reminded me of that cash grab Luna did when Easter Island statue's father passed away. Wouldn't be the slightest surprised if both are abusing oxys.
The water bottle story is bullshit but I can see the abdominal pain story not getting her any good pills at the ER, but a few burns might do the trick. Easy way to get Josh to come home is shaking a bottle of half-dozen loritabs, sorta of a white trash mating call.

Josh definitely has an affinity for pills. I’m sure Raven would Jump on that bandwagon too otherwise Josh would be sneaking off to score all the time and leaving her alone for large stretches of time.

Josh is an addict. A man in his mid to late 30’s that can’t even manage a to pay the rent on the shittiest trailers in South Carolina or keep a job for more than few months is a fucking addict of some kind. There’s really no other explanation for their lifestyle the past two years. The cost of living there is low and jobs are attainable for anyone that can pass drug tests. It takes blowing most of your money on an addiction to live as low and desperate as they do.
 

Elwood Blues

We're on a mission from God.
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I know this is kinda ewwww, but i wonder about that tailbone and the sex situation. DON'T HARAM ME JUST YET.
If i recall correctly, she noped out of sex in the past bcuz "muh tailbone" (and then flipped tf out when that poor mfer went to porn instead, but i digress).
I have to think the couch-dwelling caveman's attraction to Raven must have been mostly physical (please, I'm not saying i think she's hot, but what else, her personality?) so what is going on there? Is she attracted to him, and therefore the tailbone excuse is just forgotten and there's a lot of very haram rumbling going on? Is this poor bastard living sexless as well? I mean, it would explain why she's "not covering for him" if he got caught in the shower after the 7,000th rejection in bed.
Just a (horrible, horrible) thought..
 

MirnaMinkoff

Mama, nobody sends you a turd and expects to live.
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Raven brags of the polyester tribute laid at her feet by the Neanderthal. Aren't they just the picture of marital bliss?
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Lol, you mean you chopped your wig Raven. No body believes that’s your fucking real hair.

Im sure that’s what Josh does most of his waking hours at home. She’s going to have to start using the same filters on him that she uses on herself to keep up appearances.
 

MirnaMinkoff

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Sooo, why no pic of them together? I wonder what kind of porn she caught him watching that made her so mad she butchered a wig.
Josh won’t sit still beside her for 30 minutes while she minutely adjusts the light, moves her head and takes 200 photos until she can get just the right one to apply filters too.

The fact he won’t even give Raven a big smile for a photo to post online as proof of their very happy marriage is pretty shitty. Raven’s a working woman now supporting Josh so he can relax at home playing video games, the least he could do is smile for mama.
 

Turd Blossom

My gravy mug runneth over
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Raven brags of the polyester tribute laid at her feet by the Neanderthal. Aren't they just the picture of marital bliss?
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Oh how sweet! One might assume they got their Trumpbux, but she didn't mention any tacky new jewelry or boasts of an industrial-sized box of Slim Jims, so we can only assume Josh "bought" this dress with the earnings from her cool new dream job.
Naturally, Raven had to drive herself to to the Goodwill to pick it out, pay for it and bring it home, but it's the thought that counts!

I like that (in sharp contrast with the multiple angles she managed to capture of her "hot water bottle" burns), instead of a pic of either the dress, Josh giving her the dress, or even the 2 of them together... we get a random pic of the side of his face.

He definitely got caught watching some kind of porn. I'm gonna go with Hentai.
 

Barbarella

Guards! To the Mathmos with this winged fruitcake.
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Josh looks a lot more scribbled on than when we first met him, or did I just not notice before? Seems he's going his wife’s route of tattooing a random scratching whenever he thinks of it and has a 12 pack and a friend with a pack of needles. Most seem to be in the ”no hire” zone too.

Any pr0n will piss off Diana but I hope it has Schoolgirl or Cheerleader in the title somewhere. She mentioned specifically that wasn't the problem so of course, it is.

Cutting. In her 40s. Even some women with BPD grow up and think of more mature ways to control their husbands. She’s 14 mentally and living in an aging, decrepit body. It must be very confusing for the poor old bag.
 

Tiny Clanger

Probably your granny
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I'd just like to note my appreciation for the marvellous tableau that is Goffbags' dramatic "Going Through Something" photo.


It's a work of art worthy of any of the great masters. Our strikingly hideous beautiful heroine knows she is dying of consumption C19 but she will hold on for as long as her feeble, gasping breaths can possibly maintain so little Samsung Boost may at least have some keepsakes of his adoring Mama, torn so mercilessly from this life by the cruel fates and leaving only his gruff yet tender father to teach him the harsh realities of the life from which his beloved mother was so cruelly wrenched. The pain is writ across her face, the agony of knowing she is leaving her adoring family before her time and her knockers are already making a run for it but she must hold on at least until the little motherless babe's emergency minutes run out, no matter the agony of doing so. All her energy must go into these final pictures, altho it tears at her heart to hear the child's plaintive cries but she MUST leave a worthy legacy. The earth will not see such beauty again.

His father refuses to speak of it as he cannot bear the pain of losing his soulmate (🤮) after five minutes on droopyslappers.com a lifetime searching, but sometimes on the dark, glimmering nights when the wind howls through round the shed grand villa that has stayed unchanged since her untimely demise, little Boost sees him pick up that final photograph of his beloved, brush away the crusty sock that has landed upon it and hold it to his craggy face as his hair writhes in the agony of loss; nobody has loved it as Goffbags did. Hot, bitter tears flow freely, dropping like acid rain amongst the faded gaudy as fuck soft toys, stripper shoes and her beloved Plasticella that all form the shrine upon The Couch; the one his grizzled parent has refused anyone sit on since she passed...


Fuck me, Goffbags. See what an inspiration you are - I'm coming over all Poe and I couldn't have done it without you. You are my muse, you glorious twatwaffle.

Before you die, would you mind explaining exactly how you managed to piss someone off so much they're going to all the bother of suing you for forty bucks? It probably costs more than that to drive from Bumfuck to the nearest centre of civilisation and they know they'll never recover the money. That is top-tier annoying the fuck outta someone and I need to know how it is done. For science.

As for the oh-so-dramatic burns and scars, I reckon she did what she used to do to Logan when she'd hold a plastic knife to her throat and threaten suicide, or saw away at her wrists with a spoon whilst forcing down three whole baby aspirin. Amazing what you can make a man with a brain the size of a pea do with a little base manipulation. 3/10, Goffbags. You should really have improved by now, your work has remained static for years. It's really not good enough, tut tut.

Inkidinkilly, it's incredible she still labels us haaayduuuuurz. On the contrary, I think it's safe to say most of our little club here adore her.
 
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Hank Scorpio

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How 'bout a Raven photo dump from lolcow?

Her fingers and face reveal that she's expanding right back to her old fatty weight. Oh, and she's making "emergency" trips for dental work so she can score opiates. Still wearing ratty wigs every day.
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Damn, is it just me or does the piercing near her right temple look like it's trying to reject? Also, that fake-ass bustier top isn't doing a damn thing to support or hold her udders. Come on, Raven, if you're gonna waste money at least get a not shitty top if you refuse to wear a goddamned bra.