Really basic things you can't do or didn't know -

Philosophy Zombie

that fat kid who smells like axe
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I can't whistle, roll my tongue or snap my fingers.

I didn't learn to tie my shoes until I was 9 and couldn't ride a bike until I was 10.

Today I learned that cherries are red. I saw this documentary once when I was a kid that showed that Rainier cherries were white and people just dyed them red so I've spent the next 15 years of my life believing that no cherries were really red and we just dyed them for some reason. I'm shocked I've managed to survive this long.
 

JambledUpWords

Gorl who loves orange chicken
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
  • I can’t drive a car yet (I don’t have a license, but I use my bike and public transport so it isn’t too bad)
  • When I was little I used to believe that people smoked so they could see their breath when it wasn’t winter
  • I’m really bad at directions and have only recently gotten better (I still need to improve, but map functions on phones have been a life saver)
  • My parents tricked me into thinking I had magic at age 7
  • I couldn’t spell the word Wednesday right until late middle school
  • I didn’t know men got erections until high school
 

Exceptional Mafioso

kiwifarms.net
I’m really bad at directions and have only recently gotten better (I still need to improve, but map functions on phones have been a life saver)
I'm in my mid forties and still suffer from this affliction. Besides work and the grocery store, if it wasn't for GPS I'd never be able to drive anywhere, lol.
The GPS devices are probably part of the reason both of you are not improving this particular ability. With the device doing the work, your brain has no need to actually learn the task at hand.
 

Wendy_Carter

I carry on for Abigail's sake.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I never learned to hold a pen or a pencil the proper way. Because of my autistic way of holding them, my index finger starts hurting when I write something for prolonged periods of time (more than an hour, usually). I just don't care to re-learn at this point.

lifetime’s worth of experience fitting large things into tight spaces
Just what did he mean by this? ?
 

GloryHole Stalker

I play with myself...
kiwifarms.net
The GPS devices are probably part of the reason both of you are not improving this particular ability. With the device doing the work, your brain has no need to actually learn the task at hand.
I drove for many years before GPS came along. Tried using maps and the like, and I'd just get lost...I'm exceptional when it comes to directions, what else can I say.
 

chunkygoth

*blink*
kiwifarms.net
I didn't date until I was older and ended up dating my first boyfriend way past the expiration date. I was irrationally scared of breaking up, never having done it before, and was secretly hoping he would take the lead. The other day I was feeling sorry for myself and thinking about the "timeline" of red flag moments . As I reflected, I realized for the first time that almost every single one of those moments was him trying to provoke me into a breakup. That whole time he was throwing me softballs and I missed each one. I stopped feeling sorry for myself and started feeling real dumb real quick.

I can't mop. Every time I mop I make a bigger mess. Instead, I just sweep and spot scrub.
 

Star Stuff

words cant hurt me these shades are gucci
kiwifarms.net
I can't write correctly in terms of calligraphy. In elementary they were teaching us how to only write cursive and then middle- onwards they forced us to write both it and print despite the former getting phased out.

Now my handwriting is some fucked amalgamation of print and cursive with no respect for capitalization. If I need to write proper print, I need to invest more focus than taking apart a fucking firearm and I still screw it up.
 
Tags
None

About Us

The Kiwi Farms is about eccentric individuals and communities on the Internet. We call them lolcows because they can be milked for amusement or laughs. Our community is bizarrely diverse and spectators are encouraged to join the discussion.

We do not place intrusive ads, host malware, sell data, or run crypto miners with your browser. If you experience these things, you have a virus. If your malware system says otherwise, it is faulty.

Supporting the Forum

How to Help

The Kiwi Farms is constantly attacked by insane people and very expensive to run. It would not be here without community support.

BTC: 1DgS5RfHw7xA82Yxa5BtgZL65ngwSk6bmm
ETH: 0xc1071c60Ae27C8CC3c834E11289205f8F9C78CA5
BAT: 0xc1071c60Ae27C8CC3c834E11289205f8F9C78CA5
LTC: LSZsFCLUreXAZ9oyc9JRUiRwbhkLCsFi4q
XMR: 438fUMciiahbYemDyww6afT1atgqK3tSTX25SEmYknpmenTR6wvXDMeco1ThX2E8gBQgm9eKd1KAtEQvKzNMFrmjJJpiino