Really basic things you can't do or didn't know -

Sprig of Parsley

Damnation dignified
kiwifarms.net
Dancing with a partner, like ballroom dancing. I can do two-step if its country music but anything more sophisticated than that and I'm absolute shit. It's weird since my mother had me take tap and ballet for since I was four.
I can't dance at all. I don't really want to learn, either, though I've heard people say it makes a great tool for the dating scene. (I do actually envy good dancers a bit. Not dancing to electroswing almost seems like a crime.)
 

Fat Pikachu

Is your privilege running? You better go check it!
kiwifarms.net
I don't know how to ride the bus because the only time I boarded in the past I was riding for free with a student discount but nobody even checked ... so I don't know where or how to pay my fare or if that's even a thing people do.
 

Sprig of Parsley

Damnation dignified
kiwifarms.net
I don't know how to ride the bus because the only time I boarded in the past I was riding for free with a student discount but nobody even checked ... so I don't know where or how to pay my fare or if that's even a thing people do.
Lot of buses these days just use passes with magnetic strips. Swipe through the machine, wait for confirmation beep, sit down and shut up. Some will use punch cards. Most buses still allow for coins and bills, though this is a pain in the ass IMO and is generally less cost-effective.

EDIT: As a general rule most drivers don't fucking care enough to fight you if you try and fare-evade. They'll just let the bus cameras record you and report you to HQ, and you'll probably get a citation from law enforcement eventually.
 

Rigor Meowtis

Good thing I don't know how to read
kiwifarms.net
Speak properly. I have a weird lisp, and I tend to speak fast/mumble because my mother spoke in the same way. Throughout the years teachers tried to get me into speech therapy but my mom wouldn't have it. She thought I spoke fine and the teachers were weird gooks trying to ruin her perfect child.

Now here I am, self-conscious every time I say stuff that's similar to "satin" or something that starts with "St".
 

Kari Kamiya

Gun Version Legendary Mascot
kiwifarms.net
Can't ride a bike, nor do I have my driver's license, just a permit I renew every year so I don't have to take the test again. Like I have the skills to drive, but I just don't like driving. Everyone thinks I have anxiety about the road when I don't even have panic attacks. Maybe I don't trust myself to pay attention to the road while my brain goes a million miles an hour on whatever shit I feel like thinking about, but I just don't like it. I hate how it feels, I just don't know how to explain it. And I've felt this way before the time my dad freaked out and started yelling after I turned on the wrong street and drove down it for a couple of miles on the way back home from my umpteenth failed time to get a license (fuck parallel parking).

It's funny that I can't ride a bike because up until my feet got too big to fit and I never upgraded to a bigger size, I liked to roller blade. Couldn't do fancy tricks or the like, but I liked to gear up (safety first) and just skate down the sidewalk. I might've lost that skill now due to not having skates for years, but I dunno.

Also can't whistle or snap my fingers. I've tried to snap my fingers, but I don't know what I'm doing wrong, and I don't really think it's because I'm still a nail-biter. Also can't braid, never had anyone to practice it on, nor did I keep any of my Barbie dolls, and I didn't want to look in the mirror. I'm also certain I don't put make-up on very well either any time I try it.

I was 18 before somebody told me you've got to open your mouth when you blow your nose.
Wait are you serious? You're supposed to open your mouth blowing your nose? :stress:
 

Guts Gets Some

"Sword=cock" -Susumu Hirasawa
kiwifarms.net
Can't ride a bike, nor do I have my driver's license, just a permit I renew every year so I don't have to take the test again. Like I have the skills to drive, but I just don't like driving. Everyone thinks I have anxiety about the road when I don't even have panic attacks. Maybe I don't trust myself to pay attention to the road while my brain goes a million miles an hour on whatever shit I feel like thinking about, but I just don't like it. I hate how it feels, I just don't know how to explain it. And I've felt this way before the time my dad freaked out and started yelling after I turned on the wrong street and drove down it for a couple of miles on the way back home from my umpteenth failed time to get a license (fuck parallel parking).

It's funny that I can't ride a bike because up until my feet got too big to fit and I never upgraded to a bigger size, I liked to roller blade. Couldn't do fancy tricks or the like, but I liked to gear up (safety first) and just skate down the sidewalk. I might've lost that skill now due to not having skates for years, but I dunno.

Also can't whistle or snap my fingers. I've tried to snap my fingers, but I don't know what I'm doing wrong, and I don't really think it's because I'm still a nail-biter. Also can't braid, never had anyone to practice it on, nor did I keep any of my Barbie dolls, and I didn't want to look in the mirror. I'm also certain I don't put make-up on very well either any time I try it.


Wait are you serious? You're supposed to open your mouth blowing your nose? :stress:
Nails have nothing to do with snapping. Put your middle finger and thumb together tightly at the end, further down (not up by the nail), slide thumb up and finger down quickly. That's it.

Maybe once or twice practice and anyone should get it.
 

Exigent Circumcisions

Hey man.. you got any truffles???
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Wait are you serious? You're supposed to open your mouth blowing your nose? :stress:
Well, if you don't you'll just pop your ears and wonder why you even bother. I seriously thought I was just a pussy who couldn't handle the pain of my ears popping well enough to get the job done.

It doesn't have to be open a lot, just part your lips some and fire away.
 

Unog

You're a nog.
kiwifarms.net
I can't draw for shit, can't play any instrument, and I have absolutely no creative capacity when put on the spot. For instance, when I play a game like Minecraft, the buildings I end up making are always bizarre, utilitarian structures of water and glass, with minimal non-glass blocks (for visibility), minimal living space, and optimal storage space. I've tried going into creative mode numerous times, only to end up staring blankly at the screen for a few minutes before ultimately giving up and going back to survival mode.

It's the same with any game where you can be creative, Banjo Kazooie N&B, Terraria, Starbound, the list just goes on.
 

Clockwork_PurBle

"I got a B+ in lurking!"
kiwifarms.net
I didn't know that Laos was a country until I started watching King of the Hill two years ago.

It's a communist country that is unsurprisingly really poor.
 
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Yolandi

Resident Pokemon Go expert
kiwifarms.net
Anything to do with fixing cars

My car is messing up, someone please help. It's making a quiet rattling sound, I actually thought a plastic bag got stuck under my hood, then it made sort of a squeaking sound twice. I only drove a short distance and it was working fine this morning. Oh and all the lights came on (break lights, the lights like all of the doors were open, battery light) and it sputtered for about one minute before I got home. If you have any idea what it could be please message me <3
 
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ShittyRecolor

Preferred pronouns: shit\shits\shitself
kiwifarms.net
It took me till I was well in my 20s to realize you use your middle finger to snap instead of your index finger. I also used to mix up Thailand with Taiwan till a couple years ago.

As for stuff I still can't do\am shit at:

-I can't sing well. I can hit notes thanks to having played the guitar for more than 10 years, but my singing voice is a thing of nightmares.

-I can't perform or hold a presentation in front of larger masses unless I have a little alcohol in my body. A 1L bottle of stronger beer usually does the trick, otherwise I'm prone to anxiety attacks. When I'm not expected to be very interactive, sometimes it also helps to put on old glasses that are too weak for me to see my audience as anything other than a vague blob of muddied colors.

-I can't trim\style my beard to save my life. I either let it grow all the way or shave it all off. Every time I decide I'll give myself a nice goatee or something or a circle beard I end up messing it up till it looks so uneven and horrible I just have to shave it all away, lest I walk around looking like Hitler with pubic hair stuck on his face.

-I absolutely can't stand getting poked in the belly button, I'd rather get kicked in the balls. Sometimes I get panic attacks just from thinking about being stabbed there with a stiletto while trying to sleep, though thankfully it's not as frequent as it used to be.
 
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