Rebeckah Emails: September thru October 2013 -

[Thetan]

I've decided to get an early start on releasing these emails because there's a lot of them. I'll be releasing them in batches because, as you'll see, there's a lot of interesting stuff to discuss in some of these.

A few notes regarding the first batch.

• The September 28th 2013 email where Rebeckah asks Chris to not contact her for awhile refers to the period where he was making a lot of nasty remarks about their MHS classmates, trolls, etc. (At some point I may go through his FB to see what was going on at the time.)

• The October 14th, 2013 email was prompted by Chris's FB post where he mentioned his mother having scabies.

• In the first of the October 16th, 2013 emails, Rebeckah tries to get Chris to start walking his dogs by suggesting that this may be a good way to meet women (It didn't seem like a bad idea at the time and it would get those poor dogs out of the house for a bit.)

• In the second of the October 16th emails, Chris (predictably) asks if Rebeckah is seeing anyone. In the emails that follow, Rebeckah avoids the question. (I wasn't sure how I wanted to proceed with this.)

• With a lot of these emails, you'll notice gaps of several days or longer, this is because Chris never responded right away or, if he was called out on something in a previous email, he's simply not respond until the subject was dropped.

 

[Honeyrabbit]

**Groan and Sigh**

 

[jemas42]

For some reason, his decision to qualify his comment of "Our mother" with her full name really amuses me.

Aside from that, it's pretty standard stuff. I like how she sent him 3 e-mails and he just ignored the majority of them. I also love how he says that the reason Cole doesn't like Snorlax is because he was "Misinformed," and not that he had a horrible childhood. I mean, does he think Cole has been misinformed about his own childhood?

Just to clarify: do you mean 2014 or has Rebekah been in the picture this long?

I thought so too when I saw the title, but I don't think Thetan would make the same mistake 4 times in a row.

 

[ghostpranks]

I wish Barbara would write a book about her mite problems or life in general. I'm sure it would be quite the read, full of True and Honest content!

 

[Someone in a Tree]

For some reason, his decision to qualify his comment of "Our mother" with her full name really amuses me.

Aside from that, it's pretty standard stuff. I like how she sent him 3 e-mails and he just ignored the majority of them. I also love how he says that the reason Cole doesn't like Snorlax is because he was "Misinformed," and not that he had a horrible childhood. I mean, does he think Cole has been misinformed about his own childhood?



I thought so too when I saw the title, but I don't think Thetan would make the same mistake 4 times in a row.

Barb also knows more about the bugs that are eating her alive than the experts. I'd like to think that Thetan's efforts would prove to the community the utter pointlessness in White Knighting, but I know that's not going to stop it...

 

[Thetan]

For clarification: Rebeckah was in contact with Chris from the end of September 2013 until October 2014 (this is an approximation, I need to go through a lot of emails to verify the dates).

 

[Da Pickle Monsta]

Chris tried to kill a mite infection with a bag of frozen peas.

The boy really is in over his head.

 

[JULAY]

"God continues to mock me by not letting me have her in my life or not for long forever."

So in ten years time, he has gone from blaming Santa for not bringing him a girlfriend to blaming God for not bringing him a girlfriend. In other words, Chris literally thinks that God is trolling him.

"And if I don't find her soon, I may as well be one of those worthless, lack-of-purpose premature death cases."

Well, at least he seems to recognize that he will probably end up in an early grave without someone to take care of him. Pity Barb doesn't seem to share that recognition.

 

[DrChristianTroy]

"God continues to mock me by not letting me have her in my life or not for long forever."

So in ten years time, he has gone from blaming Santa for not bringing him a girlfriend to blaming God for not bringing him a girlfriend. In other words, Chris literally thinks that God is trolling him.

"And if I don't find her soon, I may as well be one of those worthless, lack-of-purpose premature death cases."

Well, at least he seems to recognize that he will probably end up in an early grave without someone to take care of him. Pity Barb doesn't seem to share that recognition.

What I found interesting about his whole sweetheart bit was the question mark after it. Like he is finally starting to accept that he will be alone for the rest of his life. Sorry if that counts as alogging.

 

[Enormous Red Straw]

Chris' exact words:

Cole ... was often misinformed about [Barb] often by his bio[logical] father, his step father/her ex-husband before mine, her siblings, cousins and others in ... their hometown.

The same thing, paraphrased:

Cole doesn't get along with Barb due to a years-long conspiracy in which every family member who's ever known her-- not to mention random people in town who've interacted with her-- have engaged in a deliberate, systematic hoax to dupe Cole with unflattering stories even though none of them have anything to gain by doing so. Also, she slept with somebody's partner, but that's incidental.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

Chris seems to employ the same diversionary tactics when faced with being called out on stuff that's unpleasant to him:

1) "I'm sorry, could you [...] repeat that?" or "I'm sorry, I didn't understand the question."
2) "..." (and hope the other party drops it, as these emails apparently show)
3) [Random Access Humor], as Alec pointed out.

 

[bradsternum]

Barb might know a lot about parasites, but apparently nothing about parasitic relationships.

Chris' gradual realization that perhaps a girlfriend is not "destined" to be is very, very sad.

 

[Ron_Swanson]

You can't blame the flies for thinking Barb is a tasty corpse for them to lay eggs on, c'mon.

 

[LegoManiac]

"I am troubled emotionally and mentally..." - Christian Weston Chandler

 

[GS 281]

Chris can make you hate him one moment and feel terrible for him the next, and he doesn't mean to do either. You have to be incredibly mature to take in all Christorical content and not feel the desire to be a white knight or a troll.

 

[Stud2Stud]

I bet the doctors are dumbfounded, treating someone for years over something that can be taken care off in a much shorter amount of time if the person in question just doesn't live in a maze of moldy garbage.

So I guess the bug bites Bob suffered from and made him go into quarantine in the hospital were scabies as well?

 

[Handsome Pete]

You can just tell how proud he is of "miniature flies." I assume someone explained what mites were, he processed it just well enough to retain the concept of "tiny bugs," and then rephrased it as "miniature flies" in an attempt to either sound smarter or inject some random-access humor.

In a lot of ways, he sounds like a medieval philosopher trying to explain a scientific concept without having the words for it. "Your majesty, I propose that insects are not simply a plague sent by God, but are indeed miniscule winged horses clad in hellish armour! And the stars are campfires built by men residing in a world above our own, who know nothing of our Lord."

 

[Gazelle_Bro]

I laughed when he said he pitied Cole for missing out on time with Barb. Only Chris could actually enjoy that poison.

 

[NiggoFiggo]

Jesus she had bugs for 3 years? She had generations of bugs digging in her ass but she knows ALL about them. God damn the Chandlers are the worst

 

[KillerKarlKox]

It is kind of sad realizing the only reason they got rid of the mites in their house is by the house catching on fire.

It's also kind of sad realizing that despite all of his hatred against online socialization, he'd still risk that than leave the house and take his dogs for a walk.