Sonichu Redeeming Sonichu: is a good rewrite even possible? -

[Judge Holden]

Inspired by a post on the gloria tesch thread in lolcow about how we might collectively rewrite her books to stop being so groin shreddingly bad, I was wondering what the residents of this forum would change and alter about the sonichu series in terms of plot, characters, writing and themes in order to make it actually a good read instead of "so bad its good" as it stands.

Would you turn it into a purely farcical comedy as the animated series did?

Would you do what vivian did and simply turn the "heroes" into the villains they would be irl?

or would you do something comletely different like rewriting Chris and his sonichus as genuinely heroic, likable, and tragic heroes struggling against the evil we may metaphorically represent?

Or do you think that sonichu is just too bad as a general concept to do well and can never be redeemed?

Whatever way you would try to redeem this turkey, feel free to put any ideas on the matter here

 

[Tenrouchan]

I thought the Picnic comics were a good attempt. It broke many generic stereotypes, had a decipherable plot, and the art was a lot easier on the eyes too.

 

[Bob's Fries]

Asperchu. Ok, not really. But close enough.

 

[Sexual Stallone]

I think the only possible solution would be a comic that makes fun of itself, like it knows how ridiculously bad it is and isn't trying to be Citizen Kane. Other than that, theres simply no way the idea of mixing Sonic and Pikachu its going to be good, no matter how hard you try.

 

[AtroposHeart]

Honestly, after the first few chapters (the ones focused on Sonichu) it becomes completely Chris's story and it gets so bad I don't see how you could make it decent without literally burning the whole thing down and starting over.

 

[CatParty]

gritty reboot. and remove all references to copyrighted characters.

 

[Hitler]

-Start with CWCville under the tyrannical control of whoever the main bad guy is.

-The leader of the resistance, Chris (unless the main bad guy is Chris), organizes a Dragonball style Pokemon tournament to find the greatest warriors on the good guys side and to inspire others.

-Insert Chaotic Combo (who at this point have not met and no longer have electric powers) beating a few fodder characters until they have to start fighting each other to continue to advance.

-Punchy and Magi-chan match up, Magi-chan wins easily, Magi-chan is very arrogant in character because of his intelligence and looks down on Punchy. Punchy is characterized as the dumb muscle with a short fuse in this remake, Punchy dislikes the way Magi-chan views him but is forced to recognize his superiority. Punchy declares Magi-chan his rival and vows to one day defeat him.

-Angelica's match comes next, introduce Rosechu as her opponent. Angelica is timid and apprehensive to fight and thinks about forfeiting. Rosechu gets angry at her for acting like what she perceives as a negative female stereotype, attacks her and forces her to have to defend herself. Angelica realizes that there are sometimes when she must use violence in order to protect herself and others and fights back with full spirit but ultimately loses to Rosechu's dark type (Rosechu would be primarily dark as she evolves into Vamprosa)

-Skip to the finals (flesh out the rest of the tournament if desired). Rosechu as one fighter then introduce Sonichu as her opponent, hint that he had the most difficult opponents but still won without so much as a scratch whereas Rosechu is very roughed up. Rosechu thinks her womanly powers will assure her victory, still loses but to something questionable or has some kind of excuse so that she can still maintain that she is stronger than Sonichu. Rosechu can't help but be impressed by Sonichu's strength, will and good sportsmanship/kindness, she develops feelings for him but due to her pride as an independant woman expresses her feelings through acting as though she dislikes Sonichu and is only his ally because the people need them to work together, leaving room for their eventual love to develope throughout the series.

-Chris awards Sonichu with the Chaotic Crystal he received from his late father (Bob who was the mayor before the bad guys took over) for winning the tournament. Showing off his humble side, Sonichu divides the Crystal into five and gives one part each to Wild, Angelica, Bubbles, Punchy and Magi-chan saying that it would be better if they all got stronger together and that he can't take back CWCville alone or some gay shit like that. Chris declares them to be the Chaotic Combo, spectators cheer and the entire resistance is empowered by the unity they feel.

-Rosechu questions Sonichu's giving away the crystal, her tsundere level rises to say 75% and she says he did it just to show off, then asks why he didn't split it into six and give her a piece and he tells her she's already strong enough. Rosechu's tsundere level rises to 100%, end with her calling him stupid or hitting him or something like that.

And that's your first arc, bad guys not revealed too soon, show that the bad guys truly are evil and not just people Chris doesn't like, establish Chris as an important but ultimately powerless entity (and never give him powers), not too many characters too soon, sow the seeds of relationships without outright forcing them, make characters unique from each other and give them room to grow, leave plenty of room for possibilities in the plot (Who else was at the tournament, other to-be-revealed good guys, bad guy spies? How did the bad guys take over? Did Bob die from natural causes and bad guys took advantage or did they kill him? If they killed him does Chris know? Where did these new Pokemon come from and how did they get their powers?), most importantly give a plot to the story (taking back the city and defeating all the bad guys).

It'll never make money or be published so including copyrighted characters and elements shouldn't matter.

 

[Da Pickle Monsta]

No, I don't think a good re-write is possible.

At one point, I had the idea of writing a parody of Chris's life and how he sees Sonichu. The story would have started off with Chris, an Iraq War vet suffering from post-traumatic stress, getting out of the Marine Corps after his squadmate got blown up in an explosion. Chris goes back home to Ruckersville to begin a new life for himself, consigning himself to temporarily living with his parents while taking classes at PVCC. However, the Dean of Student Services corners Chris and tries to seduce him.

Chris struggles with his feelings of guilt and shame and eventually starts hallucinating CWCville, the make-believe city that he created when he was a child. Chris eventually loses the ability to separate fact from fantasy as his shell-shocked brain disintegrates, and Chris is sucked into a never-ending well of loneliness, despair, and self-hatred as he is haunted by Sonichu (who continually berates him) and visions of the bloody and burned corpses of his friends.

This is really the only way I can see CWCville as a serious story aspect.

 

[Bridechu]

-Start with CWCville under the tyrannical control of whoever the main bad guy is.

-The leader of the resistance, Chris (unless the main bad guy is Chris), organizes a Pokemon tournament to find the greatest warriors on the good guys side and to inspire others.

-Insert Chaotic Combo (who at this point have not met and no longer have electric powers) beating a few fodder characters until they have to start fighting each other to continue to advance.

-Punchy and Magi-chan match up, Magi-chan wins easily, Magi-chan is very arrogant in character because of his intelligence and looks down on Punchy. Punchy is characterized as the dumb muscle with a short fuse in this remake, Punchy dislikes the way Magi-chan views him but is forced to recognize his superiority. Punchy declares Magi-chan his rival and vows to one day defeat him.

-Angelica's match comes next, introduce Rosechu as her opponent. Angelica is timid and apprehensive to fight and thinks about forfeiting. Rosechu gets angry at her for acting like what she perceives as a negative female stereotype, attacks her and forces her to have to defend herself. Angelica realizes that there are sometimes when she must use violence in order to protect herself and others and fights back with full spirit but ultimately loses to Rosechu's dark type (Rosechu would be primarily dark as she evolves into Vamprosa)

-Skip to the finals (flesh out the rest of the tournament if desired). Rosechu as one fighter then introduce Sonichu as her opponent, hint that he had the most difficult opponents but still won without so much as a scratch whereas Rosechu is very roughed up. Rosechu thinks her womanly powers will assure her victory, still loses but to something questionable or has some kind of excuse so that she can still maintain that she is stronger than Sonichu. Rosechu can't help but be impressed by Sonichu's strength, will and good sportsmanship/kindness, she develops feelings for him but due to her pride as an independant woman expresses her feelings through acting as though she dislikes Sonichu and is only his ally because the people need them to work together, leaving room for their eventual love to develope throughout the series.

-Chris awards Sonichu with the Chaotic Crystal he received from his late father (Bob who was the mayor before the bad guys took over) for winning the tournament. Showing off his humble side, Sonichu divides the Crystal into five and gives one part each to Wild, Angelica, Bubbles, Punchy and Magi-chan saying that it would be better if they all got stronger together and that he can't take back CWCville alone or some gay shit like that. Chris declares them to be the Chaotic Combo, spectators cheer and the entire resistance is empowered by the unity they feel.

-Rosechu questions Sonichu's giving away the crystal, her tsundere level rises to say 75% and she says he did it just to show off, then asks why he didn't split it into six and give her a piece and he tells her she's already strong enough. Rosechu's tsundere level rises to 100%, end with her calling him stupid or hitting him or something like that.

And that's your first arc, bad guys not revealed too soon, show that the bad guys truly are evil and not just people Chris doesn't like, establish Chris as an important but ultimately powerless entity (and never give him powers), not too many characters too soon, sow the seeds of relationships without outright forcing them, make characters unique from each other and give them room to grow, leave plenty of room for possibilities in the plot (Who else was at the tournament, other to-be-revealed good guys, bad guy spies? How did the bad guys take over? Did Bob die from natural causes and bad guys took advantage or did they kill him? If they killed him does Chris know? Where did these new Pokemon come from and how did they get their powers?), most importantly give a plot to the story (taking back the city and defeating all the bad guys).

It'll never make money or be published so including copyrighted characters and elements shouldn't matter.

Wow, nicely done. This kind of makes me want to re-design all the Chus as non-infringing magic humanoids or at least something decent to look at.

 

[Mauvman Shuffleboard]

Already tried once, it was way too long, nobody liked it and I'm not a particularly great writer. I think I tried to stay as close to the original as I felt like at the time without any copyrighted fellers hanging around, only covered up to Issue 8 though. Someone else could definitely do it better than me though.

 

[DevilDog]

No

 

[rocket]

-Start with CWCville under the tyrannical control of whoever the main bad guy is.

-The leader of the resistance, Chris (unless the main bad guy is Chris), organizes a Dragonball style Pokemon tournament to find the greatest warriors on the good guys side and to inspire others.

-Insert Chaotic Combo (who at this point have not met and no longer have electric powers) beating a few fodder characters until they have to start fighting each other to continue to advance.

-Punchy and Magi-chan match up, Magi-chan wins easily, Magi-chan is very arrogant in character because of his intelligence and looks down on Punchy. Punchy is characterized as the dumb muscle with a short fuse in this remake, Punchy dislikes the way Magi-chan views him but is forced to recognize his superiority. Punchy declares Magi-chan his rival and vows to one day defeat him.

-Angelica's match comes next, introduce Rosechu as her opponent. Angelica is timid and apprehensive to fight and thinks about forfeiting. Rosechu gets angry at her for acting like what she perceives as a negative female stereotype, attacks her and forces her to have to defend herself. Angelica realizes that there are sometimes when she must use violence in order to protect herself and others and fights back with full spirit but ultimately loses to Rosechu's dark type (Rosechu would be primarily dark as she evolves into Vamprosa)

-Skip to the finals (flesh out the rest of the tournament if desired). Rosechu as one fighter then introduce Sonichu as her opponent, hint that he had the most difficult opponents but still won without so much as a scratch whereas Rosechu is very roughed up. Rosechu thinks her womanly powers will assure her victory, still loses but to something questionable or has some kind of excuse so that she can still maintain that she is stronger than Sonichu. Rosechu can't help but be impressed by Sonichu's strength, will and good sportsmanship/kindness, she develops feelings for him but due to her pride as an independant woman expresses her feelings through acting as though she dislikes Sonichu and is only his ally because the people need them to work together, leaving room for their eventual love to develope throughout the series.

-Chris awards Sonichu with the Chaotic Crystal he received from his late father (Bob who was the mayor before the bad guys took over) for winning the tournament. Showing off his humble side, Sonichu divides the Crystal into five and gives one part each to Wild, Angelica, Bubbles, Punchy and Magi-chan saying that it would be better if they all got stronger together and that he can't take back CWCville alone or some gay shit like that. Chris declares them to be the Chaotic Combo, spectators cheer and the entire resistance is empowered by the unity they feel.

-Rosechu questions Sonichu's giving away the crystal, her tsundere level rises to say 75% and she says he did it just to show off, then asks why he didn't split it into six and give her a piece and he tells her she's already strong enough. Rosechu's tsundere level rises to 100%, end with her calling him stupid or hitting him or something like that.

And that's your first arc, bad guys not revealed too soon, show that the bad guys truly are evil and not just people Chris doesn't like, establish Chris as an important but ultimately powerless entity (and never give him powers), not too many characters too soon, sow the seeds of relationships without outright forcing them, make characters unique from each other and give them room to grow, leave plenty of room for possibilities in the plot (Who else was at the tournament, other to-be-revealed good guys, bad guy spies? How did the bad guys take over? Did Bob die from natural causes and bad guys took advantage or did they kill him? If they killed him does Chris know? Where did these new Pokemon come from and how did they get their powers?), most importantly give a plot to the story (taking back the city and defeating all the bad guys).

It'll never make money or be published so including copyrighted characters and elements shouldn't matter.

god I'd read this

 

[random_pickle]

I've had one idea lingering in my mind, not sure if it's good though.

It would follow the original comic somewhat, except for a few differences:

1.) In the first comic, It doesn't show that pikachu turned into Sonichu, although it implies it (more on this later in the post). He doesn't fight Perfect Chaos, rather, he wakes up in a forest in the kanto region, with no memory. After a few scrapes and incidents, Sonichu gets taken in by Kel and Rosechu, who then name him Sonichu.

2.) All the Chus possess more character. Punchy is a guy that tries to be asian based on being raised in a dojo, only to come off trying too hard. Wild is more unpredictable, seeing as how he was raised away from civilization. Magi-chan would have a massive ego, and is cocky as hell, believing that he could take on all the PVCC with no help. Bionic is actually a Mobian android designed to be loyal to Chris without question. Although Blake would still join the Chaotic Combo, he would secretly be working for PVCC. The list goes on and on.

3.) I would use real-Chris in the place of the comic one. In many of the episodes he will try to make the plot all about him, such as the Anchuent Prophecy (which is just another of Chris' toys made from his team of scientists, more on that later). Most of Chris' wants and hatred against homos isn't taken seriously unlike the comic, however he has enforced homophobic laws, much to Magi-Chan's displeasure.

4.) Sonichu has more morality, being a creature that doesn't quite yet comprehend why he's designed the way he is. With that said, he constantly questions and chews out Chris regarding his stupidity. Some of the plot would revolve around Sonichu trying to figure out where Sonichu's come from.

5.) Get rid of Sonichu and Rosechu's children. Just no.

6.) More villans. Not only do we have Walsh controlling PVCC, we also have a secret person, who is called S, that works with Mary, almost like her boss. Sonichu and S would battle on several occasions, where Mary was, S wasn't far behind. Mary herself would have a more complex backstory, haven't completely thought of one yet though. Their attacks would be more focused on Chris rather than CWCville itself.

7.) Include more references to Pokemon and Sonic, seeing as how they are the same universe in this shit. I would also get rid of other references such as Sailor Megtune and the Yu-gi-oh crap.

8.) After the execution of the Asperpedia Four, Sonichu begins to lose his faith in Chris, starting to feel contempt for him. Afterwards, he asks Chris if he found out how to defeat PVCC while he was in the future, only to lose his last bit of patience when Chris tells him that he found a "cure" for the homos and that was the most important thing. Sonichu decides to flee CWCville at Blake's suggestion, to clear his head. In his journey he fights S one last time. In the fight, he manages to rip off the cloak that surrounded S, only to jump back in shock. S was Sonic the Hedgehog. In Sonichu's shock, he didn't realize where he was going, he ran into a cliff, knocking himself out. He wakes up in PVCC's headquarters, and to his surprise, he wasn't tied up or anything. Sonic enters the room and explains everything to Sonichu. Turns out, Sonichu wasn't created from the Perfect Chaos monster, he wasn't even there! During the battle, the monster killed Amy right before Sonic's eyes. From that battle, Sonic came to the realization that his heroic antics placed his loved ones in danger. He didn't want to fight anymore. Years later, he met Bob Chandler, mayor of CWCville. They both knew that their world's needed a hero. So with Sonic's permission, Bob hired a team of scientists to clone Sonic, thus creating more heroes.

During the project, Bob passed away, leaving CWCville to his son, Chris. Chris takes over the project, demanding that they add in pokemon DNA into the mix, based off his comic series he's been drawing. His plan was to use them as "his personal heroes" that aid him in fighting off the homos and anyone who trolls him. Sonic attempted to stop Chris, but it was too late. The creatures were now tainted with pokemon DNA. Sonic's attempt however, was not in vain. He managed to steal the infant clones and scattered them all over Kanto. Afterwards, he joined Walsh in attempting to take down Chris and his tyranny over CWCville.

Sonichu, upon hearing this and through much thought, made the decision to join Sonic and the rest of PVCC to stop Chris. While all this happens, Chris lies to the Chaotic Combo, saying that they brainwashed Sonichu. Now Sonichu has to team up with Simonchu, Silvana, Sonic and the Jerkops to take down his former friends.


Like I said, this has been an idea forming in my head for a bit

 

[CatParty]

5.) Get rid of Sonichu and Rosechu's children. Just no.

a million times yes.

 

[cubesandcubes]

Chris' creations and world are abandoned by their Creator. The chus initial belief in being a seperate, unique, completely original species are shaken by discoveries pertaining to their hybrid nature. The existance of "purebred" Pokemon and Sonic-type anthropomorphic hedgehogs lead to revelations. There is increasing analytical and emperical self awareness. There are questions about the nature of Chris the Creator. Some proto-gnostic sects spring up with Chris seen the demiurge. All of the previous zappin adventures are revised in that light. The creation story, especially becomes a source of grotesque fascination and shame.

 

[Varis]

These re-writes are amazing!

A few months ago I started planning a Sonichu-inspired high school shoujo. It focused on the Chaotic Combo growing up in a Pokemon daycare / orphanage / someshit and dealing with their personal issues.

Wild has a poisonous skin, so he hurts anyone he touches. Bubbles is an athletic overachiever who witnessed the murder of her parent. Magi hears voices and sees dead people. Silvana was born male, but grows tits at puberty. Angelica struggles to help the other chus and not lose her faith in the process.

 

[Hitler]

Wow, nicely done. This kind of makes me want to re-design all the Chus as non-infringing magic humanoids or at least something decent to look at.

I can't draw Sonics for shit so if I did make a comic the characters would all look pretty human. I tried drawing Rosechu as she would look after her match with Sonichu

I changed how she's colored a bit because Chris' color scheme for her really clashes and looks awful, I also didn't bother shading because fuck that.

 

[José Mourinho]

I only liked the Sonichu comics for "so bad it's good" reasons. But I think the first few chapters before Chris gets the spotlight can actually get a good rewrite.

 

[bunkerbill]

Very, very possible. There's a lot of interesting things in Sonichu that, when analyzed from your computer desk, could be turned on their head to make for a coherent and -fun- story, but not necessarily amazing.

 

[Saney]

-Start with CWCville under the tyrannical control of whoever the main bad guy is.

-The leader of the resistance, Chris (unless the main bad guy is Chris), organizes a Dragonball style Pokemon tournament to find the greatest warriors on the good guys side and to inspire others.

-Insert Chaotic Combo (who at this point have not met and no longer have electric powers) beating a few fodder characters until they have to start fighting each other to continue to advance.

-Punchy and Magi-chan match up, Magi-chan wins easily, Magi-chan is very arrogant in character because of his intelligence and looks down on Punchy. Punchy is characterized as the dumb muscle with a short fuse in this remake, Punchy dislikes the way Magi-chan views him but is forced to recognize his superiority. Punchy declares Magi-chan his rival and vows to one day defeat him.

-Angelica's match comes next, introduce Rosechu as her opponent. Angelica is timid and apprehensive to fight and thinks about forfeiting. Rosechu gets angry at her for acting like what she perceives as a negative female stereotype, attacks her and forces her to have to defend herself. Angelica realizes that there are sometimes when she must use violence in order to protect herself and others and fights back with full spirit but ultimately loses to Rosechu's dark type (Rosechu would be primarily dark as she evolves into Vamprosa)

-Skip to the finals (flesh out the rest of the tournament if desired). Rosechu as one fighter then introduce Sonichu as her opponent, hint that he had the most difficult opponents but still won without so much as a scratch whereas Rosechu is very roughed up. Rosechu thinks her womanly powers will assure her victory, still loses but to something questionable or has some kind of excuse so that she can still maintain that she is stronger than Sonichu. Rosechu can't help but be impressed by Sonichu's strength, will and good sportsmanship/kindness, she develops feelings for him but due to her pride as an independant woman expresses her feelings through acting as though she dislikes Sonichu and is only his ally because the people need them to work together, leaving room for their eventual love to develope throughout the series.

-Chris awards Sonichu with the Chaotic Crystal he received from his late father (Bob who was the mayor before the bad guys took over) for winning the tournament. Showing off his humble side, Sonichu divides the Crystal into five and gives one part each to Wild, Angelica, Bubbles, Punchy and Magi-chan saying that it would be better if they all got stronger together and that he can't take back CWCville alone or some gay shit like that. Chris declares them to be the Chaotic Combo, spectators cheer and the entire resistance is empowered by the unity they feel.

-Rosechu questions Sonichu's giving away the crystal, her tsundere level rises to say 75% and she says he did it just to show off, then asks why he didn't split it into six and give her a piece and he tells her she's already strong enough. Rosechu's tsundere level rises to 100%, end with her calling him stupid or hitting him or something like that.

And that's your first arc, bad guys not revealed too soon, show that the bad guys truly are evil and not just people Chris doesn't like, establish Chris as an important but ultimately powerless entity (and never give him powers), not too many characters too soon, sow the seeds of relationships without outright forcing them, make characters unique from each other and give them room to grow, leave plenty of room for possibilities in the plot (Who else was at the tournament, other to-be-revealed good guys, bad guy spies? How did the bad guys take over? Did Bob die from natural causes and bad guys took advantage or did they kill him? If they killed him does Chris know? Where did these new Pokemon come from and how did they get their powers?), most importantly give a plot to the story (taking back the city and defeating all the bad guys).

It'll never make money or be published so including copyrighted characters and elements shouldn't matter.

Hitler, that's a great idea! You're a genius!
...
I'm going to hell for saying that's aren't I?