Regarding dialogue. -

[Yellow Yam Scam]

I'm writing something right now that is very dialogue heavy.

The issue is that the I hate characters who seem too clever. When characters always have some witty comeback or snappy retort, it just seems awkward and embarrassing and feels like the writer is trying to Mary-Sue rather than writing what the character would actually say in whatever dramatic situation they're in.

Anyone got any tips for how to avoid doing this? Is it even possible for me to edit myself regarding this kind of thing? Should I even care? Film with that sort of dialogue seems to make plenty of money...

 

[NIGGO KILLA]

just make him utterly incompetent in certain areas, nobody likes them because they're a pompous faggot, insecure, doubtful in his ability

little negative quirks can make you care about the character, and when something good happens (like snarky jokes) we cheer a little because its a (small) victory

 

[Varg Did Nothing Wrong]

This seems more like a characterization issue.

If the characters you write have a personality, its easier to write their dialogue.

Think about what your characters would think and say in a given situation.

 

[Moral_Equivalent_of_ISIS]

Personally I find the best way to avoid mary suing a character in dialogue is to improve the wit of the people they're arguing with, make it more back and forth. Aaron Sorkin is really good at this kind of repartee.

 

[Coconut Gun]

Just write all of the characters to be insufferable assholes and then turn the story into torture porn for the last half.

 

[MW 002]

There's a pretty good rule of thumb that I try to keep in mind when it comes to dialogue: how a character reacts to any given situation is exclusive to that character.

 

[Paralethal]

http://www.springhole.net/writing/marysue.htm

 

[Clownfish]

Enchantress from the Stars
By Sylvia Engdahl does character voices like no other. There are three characters from different worlds, time period and cultures.

All three characters write their own narratives from their perspective and each voice is very unique.

The other book or books is the foundation series by Issac Asimov. The whole damn series is just dialogue. There are no action scenes. Just most of the time two characters chatting and gossiping about events.

Both are very good reads worth checking out.

 

[MG 620]

This made me think of Brian in Family Guy.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

I think it's important to have the other characters react to the witty and smart person realistically. To take an example from elsewhere on this forum, one of the things that makes the Tall Tales of Tumblr so unrealistic is that the protagonist comes up with this huge long take-down of the antagonist, and at no point does the antagonist interject, interrupt, defend themselves or call the protagonist a cock. Ultimately, every character is the hero of their own story. For them, maybe this sharp character is an insufferable prick.

In general, I would say that you can get away with having a character be smart and witty if they're well rounded. Take Iron Man in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. He's clever and witty, but he's also arrogant to a fault, insecure, impulsive, inconsiderate, and we see him suffer for that. Or James Bond - always got a one-liner ready, but inside he's a total wreck who can't get close to anyone for fear that he'll get them killed.

 

[Hatoful Dandy]

Give a few characters an actual reason for being able to talk that way. Spartans, for one, did supplant all their military training with a varied education to be perfect shit talkers.

 

[HG 400]

In general, I would say that you can get away with having a character be smart and witty if they're well rounded. Take Iron Man in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. He's clever and witty, but he's also arrogant to a fault, insecure, impulsive, inconsiderate, and we see him suffer for that. Or James Bond - always got a one-liner ready, but inside he's a total wreck who can't get close to anyone for fear that he'll get them killed.

But I'm smart and witty and have no character flaws to round it out.

 

[Hatoful Dandy]

But I'm smart and witty and have no character flaws to round it out.

You're Australian.

 

[HG 400]

You're Australian.

Oh, I guess that explains why I'm so implausibly perfect.

 

[vertexwindi]

I think one of my favourite little moments in the show Community is when the main character Jeff gets confronted by his love interest Annie in the bathroom. She asks him to explain his recent behaviour and he retorts with "Well, Annie, when a man loves food and beverages very much, and they pass through his system, they make—" to which he gets cut off by her with "Not in the mood, Jeff". It's one of my favourite little moments because I'm a sucker for bad jokes but also because it's a very realistic reaction from the characters to the situation at hand. Jeff is the kind of character who is afraid to express himself sincerely, and Annie is incredibly upset with the behaviour that resulted from those kinds of personality flaws.

Give your characters flaws is what I'm getting at, and then good snark can still happen at the right time and place without it becoming a smug circlejerk.

 

[The Shadow]

I think it's important to consider how an individual character would talk. Witty dialogue should be reserved for one character (a la Phillip Marlowe) or two conversing with another (Nick and Nora Charles). This dialogue is obviously very stylized, and most real people don't talk this way as much as Joss Whedon seems to believe they do. Unless it's purely for ironic comedy or to show that character is trying to put on airs, a character that never made it past 3rd grade shouldn't be using SAT practice test words. Every character has a story, and if they appear for one page they might have to get that story across in one page.

 

[AtrocityVoyeur]

Listen to as many real, actual conversations you can, whether through a means as mundane as passively listening in a coffee shop, or something research-oriented like listening to audio transcripts in a library. Bad dialogue is a result of inadequate time spent absorbing the nuances of conversation, particularly the ways people interrupt themselves, process out their thoughts while speaking, and everything else a writer can't grasp if their conception of dialogue comes out of consuming other people's fiction.

A good writer to check out in this respect is Amy Hempel. If you can get a hold of her "Collected Stories", you won't regret the time spent reading each story. They are short, realistic without being telegraphic, and emotionally devastating. I can't recommend her style enough.