Religion and how you live your life -

[GS 281]

We have had a few threads here about religion, and one thing that has always interested me is the implications of our religious background and how it is that we live our lives. There has been a great deal of research on this topic and I think that there is a lot of validity to the idea that our religious background and beliefs will impact how it is that we approach work and school, the nature of how we manage friendships, etc. So how has religion impacted the way you live your life?

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

Although my family was never religious, I grew up in 12 years of catholic school. I decided very early on I wasn't a believer, so I don't think I was as deeply emotionally impacted by the church's teachings as a lot of my fellow students, but the fact that I spent my entire childhood and adolescence in the system gives me a strange perspective - I feel like an insider into catholic life because I witnessed it so intimately for so long, but also have the objectivity of an outside witness because I was never a member of the church. I think I was allowed this because aside from required religion classes I never had to think about the church except when I chose to. It also helps that my high school was fairly liberal as catholic schools go (in the open-minded sense, not left-wing politically): a lot of schools kind of assume their student body should all share the faith, but mine had a lot of students of different faiths, and the religious studies program offered many options to study non-catholic religions and actively encouraged curious students to pursue them. Sexual education was also fairly modern and frank for us as it should be; thinking back it could've been better, but given some of the horror stories I hear about how children are taught sex in some environments, I feel pretty damn lucky.

To give a frank picture of the childhood culture I came up in, yes we did have a handful of students who were concerned that masturbation was a sin, but they were a minority and most other students felt sorry for them... Well there was a lot of bullying too because children are assholes, but my point is that my schools did not seek to oppress and condemn basic human nature. Not as much as some, anyway.

Flash forward to today. A few of my closest friends are from that same high school, more of my friends are from less religious backgrounds, more still are internet people from all walks of life. I do meet fellow former catholic students time to time and we enjoy sharing the remember-when stories but for some reason they don't end up representing a big part of my social world. Oh, and I live in Minneapolis, the one city officially gayer than San Francisco, and oh, it's 2017 and I've spent a solid 15 years hearing the other side's dogma that christians and republicans are all evil and everyone I talk to in-person says we just elected rape culture personified and clearly this tragedy happened because we don't shit on christians enough.

Yeah yeah, hypocritical intolerant liberals, yada yada yada, what does that have to do with how religion has impacted my life? Well long before I stopped being happy to identify as a liberal - which I started when I moved out at 18, previously I was proud to say "republican" but only because my family was and teenagers who can't vote don't typically put a lot of thought into politics so I don't think that means much - anyway, I had already come to terms with my solid, deep respect for a lot of the church's core teachings. I don't take a lot from the bible itself, but the general message of humility and moderation sounded great to me, even if most christians I knew saw their faith as a social club and didn't live any better than any other petty person I knew. (Although I've met a few who do have a strong connection between faith and how they conduct themselves and they are all amazing people, which maybe strengthened my feelings.) Anyway, I especially love the concept of the 7 deadly sins, because I feel like those base emotional reactions can explain every shitty thing anyone ever does, whether you tack a god onto it all or not. I believe in respecting and moderating those 7 human qualities (8 actually, I'm super old-school and count the 8th sin of despair just as importantly) because I think doing so is a very simple way to live a good life. It's almost like the Buddhist eight-fold path to me. (Someone else may be able to provide some more education but I think the 7 deadly sins may actually be apocryphal? Either way they're a useful concept for me.)

Where was I? Oh yeah, respecting religion in an up-its-own-ass liberal bastion. I was always more forgiving of religious faith than a lot of people I meet and I know it's because I do strongly believe in hearing the other guy out instead of condemning him - a feeling that has only strengthened since learning that not taking the day after the election off work to wallow and cry makes me a white supremacist - but just answering this thread now makes me wonder if my relatively open-minded church leaders didn't help me to see that other opinions aren't all that bad. In two ways: one, because they themselves encouraged exploring other beliefs, and the second is that it may be easier for me to see the good in religious people because I spent a long time in a good position to actually explore something I didn't like much and find the humanity and good intentions despite whatever disagreement I had with the execution.

Huh, maybe that "turn the other cheek" thing really does have long-lasting consequences that are worth pursuing. Thanks for making me think about that a little more, @yawning sneasel .

 

[Mason Verger]

Worshiper of Crom. For he cares not of your prayers.

But raised Catholic. I can appreciate that it's a little more hard core then other forms of christianity, because it's human nature to want to be inclusive.

 

[Gym Leader Elesa]

I am deeply religious and it affects everything I do from my schedule to my relationships with people. My life is constructed around it and always has been.

 

[feedtheoctopus]

I used to pray a lot. I thought that if I did, that if I went to church and tried to live life according to those things that I would be happy. People around me would stop dying, I could get my head straight, I could live a normal life. None of that happened. God doesn't magically grant anybody anything. Doesn't matter if you love him. If he picks up when you call he sure as shit doesn't call back.

The fact is, religious belief for me was always a crutch. And when I realized that I lost my reasons for religion in general. And the more I look into the whole concept the more I find something insidious about it. About how it worms its way into people's sense of self, how it turns them against other human beings and even themselves. It's not so much that I hate religion as I realize that it quickly morphs into moral dogmatism, that it wishes to control and subjugate everything it comes into contact with. The central tenant of christianity is that one needs to repent for being born. And you need to stack up some more repentance along the way because every thought you have, action you take, hidden desire, is in the eyes of god all equally disgusting and worthy of hellfire. There's no winning. "You're shit. Say sorry". If god loves us it's as an abusive father, teaching us hairbrained lessons by beating the shit out of us.

Safe to say as a crutch religion is a pretty shitty one from my point of view. I don't see it bringing anything positive to the world. What is positive in it has little to do with god and everything to do with the connections between people. I got no problem with old church ladies running food drives. But religion, more than anything, gets in the way of that impulse. If your kindness is driven by fear or religious obligation than it isn't really kindness. I don't know if there is a god, and I don't care. I do not and cannot know everything, and strangely I don't want to. One of the central tenants of Taoist philosophy is that the more one tries to shove the world into some sort of easily understood narrative, the more we project our own desires or thoughts onto it, the more we miss what is right in front of us. The more we throw it out of balance. We know nothing. And that is okay. We are not meant to.

Anyway I take a lot of acid now.

 

[Florence]

I've always been a semi-regular churchgoer, but I've been becoming more religious over the past couple of years — though it's probably going to result in me leaving the C of E and converting to Catholicism.

 

[BT 075]

I don't want to credit my semi-religious upbringing with giving me a moral compass, although in some ways it might have shaped it. The biggest influence it has on my day-to-day life, is a certain sense of discomfort when it comes to "taking the Lord's name in vain". I also feel this sense of belonging when there is a gathering and prior to eating a meal, one of the elder members of my family bows their head to lead us in prayer. Even though we may pray to a God who's existence I am far from certain of, it still makes me feel... something.

 

[Tootsie Bear]

Despite being born into a Christian family, we never attended church together. I do remember, however, being invited to holiday themed events at different churches over the years. Like Christmas. Hell, my parents were temporally members of the Mormon/LDS church before I was born, and 20+ since then they still either send random mail or make phone calls to my parents.

When I was in my early or mid teens, I remember becoming "reborn" or to fully accept my Christian faith. Regardless my belief in God, Christianity, and things like the paranormal back then, saying the prayer was like huge weight off my shoulders.
So after reigniting my faith, I went to a number of different churches for various reasons: Youth groups, specials, etc. All in all it was interesting how different churches reached out to both members and the general public. But I always felt alienated, like I was a lone believer on my own secluded island where everyone else would have both family and/or friends on theirs.

In school I never had any close friendships and at home my friends were either in interested in things like video games and smoking weed. Man, I remember being disappointed when they told me they weren't interested in youth group. Buzzkill. Hell I even have to force my mom and her friend to go once.

As the years passed I ended up becoming more and more angry that despite my strong faith and doing what I could when it came to church services, I felt no different that when I attended school. No friends, felt no reason to attended expect the law said I had to, etc.
One night, I broke down crying. Angry that I put so much of my time and energy into my faith yet I got nothing out of it.

After that night I didn't fully stop attending church services. Mainly I visited once in a blue moon when my former youth pastor and friend Luke asked me to attended morning services. Meeting Luke was nice, but church is like a family, and if you're not in it, then your like that weird retaliative you heard about but probably only met once. This lasted until Luke unfortunately passed away because of lung cancer.

Hell, I even attended both service at the Mormon church after meeting them on foot and being too nice to turn them down, and I experienced praying in a mosque, which despite the differences in beliefs and practices, did remind me of the church services.

Regardless of the nice people I met, I never felt a real connection to them. And I was starting question my faith. Which resulted in me becoming a hardcore atheist. Yes, I was one of those guys who did make fun of your faith and linked from random skeptic blogs. Over time I did mellow out, realizing even though people had different viewpoints from me I didn't have to be disrespectful when talking with them.

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

The central tenant of christianity is that one needs to repent for being born. And you need to stack up some more repentance along the way because every thought you have, action you take, hidden desire, is in the eyes of god all equally disgusting and worthy of hellfire. There's no winning.

This is why I would never go back even if I did believe in God. In any other circumstances this shit is textbook emotional abuse. I'm not interested in a god so insecure about his omnipotence that he needs to hear us constantly remind him how unworthy we are.

I don't want to credit my semi-religious upbringing with giving me a moral compass, although in some ways it might have shaped it.

I think the real Satan said that once, too.

 

[WW 635]

This is why I would never go back even if I did believe in God. In any other circumstances this shit is textbook emotional abuse. I'm not interested in a god so insecure about his omnipotence that he needs to hear us constantly remind him how unworthy we are.

Sounds like the solution is to just go get a new god

 

[Elijah]

Paganism, cults, Satanism and things like that have always been very interesting to me. I like ancient mythology and how it used to shape peoples lives. I'd probably align most with the Satanic Temple because their entire purpose is to call attention to the hypocrisy of some religious institutions and help fight for the separation of church in state, which is something I believe strongly in.

Day to day life, I like spiritual things and astronomy and incense and all that new-agey stuff. I think a religious atmosphere is nice.

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

Sounds like the solution is to just go get a new god

"Fuck you, dad! I'm going to stay with the Larsens, they let me stay up to watch HBO!"

 

[Bob Page]

My mother would bring me to church(Nazarene Christianity) with her on sundays when I was little. From the get-go, I never adapted to the idea of religion, not due to some emotional ordeal, but I never really cared about it and I was 12 when I came to that conclusion. Nonetheless, I still like the christian philosophy of 'Good will unto others' and 'Help your fellow man' because i would like to help people who need it and if they deserve it, kind of like respect.

I have a few people in my family who are religious: My mother, My brother-in-law and my half-brother's wife and they all respect that I don't believe in god. I'm all for people practicing what ever religion they want, whether it be Christianity, Catholicism, Judaisim, Islam, Zoroastrianism or any other faith out there. I do have a problem with people using their faith to justify whatever horrid act they do.

This quote sums up my attitude on religion:

I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.

-Evelyn Beatrice Hall

 

[Ntwadumela]

My life isn't very different than a non-Muslim save for the fact that I pray 5 times every day and don't drink. Though all of the stuff like 72 Virgins and suicide bombing infidels? Never heard of them once in Islamic Studies class during my school years

 

[WW 635]

@Ntwadumela add some wine and a demanding wife and you can claim Judaism.

 

[Ntwadumela]

@Ntwadumela add some wine and a demanding wife and you can claim Judaism.

Don't I have to have a Jewish female relative to be one though?

 

[WW 635]

Don't I have to have a Jewish female relative to be one though?

Either your mother is Jewish or you have to convert, which if you're praying 5 times a day already then Chasidism shouldn't be a great challenge.

 

[Picklepower]

I really don't think religion is necessary to make anyone behave morally, saying that implies that people are just too dumb to figure out basic ideas like "don't kill if there is no good reason" or "hey dont steal" without an ancient text telling them.

 

[Lefty's Revenge]

A central influence on my life perspective ethics and politics. I try to pray and meditate on a regular basis. It gives me peace and guidance. I consider myself a skeptic in most aspects of life and identify alot with atheists and agnostics. Probably would have been one if I didn't become a Christian. It's not naive belief for me. I believe that God is real and he's not confined to what makes sense to us.

As far as my "moral compass" if you wanna call it that it's mostly rooted in the Bible. And I think if Christians gained a better understanding of it they'd see alot of their problems disappear. Jesus stood by his convictions and had a rule of law but he didn't bash people over the head for stuff. The only time he got violent was when people were being taken advantage of in the Temple.

We shouldn't antagonize lgbt members. We shouldn't be enemies with Muslims. We certainly shouldn't hate Jews

Just treat people like fucking human beings essentially. Life is hard and if you simply treat them with love that sticks with them.

Another side of my worldview thats influenced is the idea of "being good."
Christianity teaches no one is truly good but God. I wholeheartedly identify with that and I believe it explains alot of the moral conundrums we find ourselves in. It explains how Dr. Martin Luther King can be everything a Christian should aspire to be and still be unfaithful to his marriage. How Ghandi can be an icon of peace and a possible incestuous pedophile racist. We're all bad. But some of us find ways to do very good things despite it.

In Christianity we attribute all the good we do to the DNA of God that is within us. And honestly I think that's an ideal way to live. Only God is good. If you do good things it's the God that is within you. Never forget that no matter how bad you fuck up and do bad, whatever good you've done is God within you.


At the risk of sounding like I only pay attention to the new testament, there's alot I've taken from the old as well.

I believe when you know something is abjectly and openly evil, to tolerate it is not only sin, it's foolishness. Evil will destroy even those who wield it. Much less those who shelter it. So destroy evil when you find it. completely.

Matter of fact a lesson I take from the old testament is to always be thorough. If something is consuming your life with unhealthy habits, destroy it. Throw it out. Stop playing around with it.

I think the downfall of the west won't be it's tolerance of radical Islam. But it's tolerance of radical Islam, neo-nazism, white supremacy, any racial supremacy, sexism of either kind, radical nationalism even.

They all feed each other in my mind. And unless you grow intolerant of it all they will all continue to exist. All of them.

I'm sick of typing now. Relationships.

God sees Adam in genesis and says it's not good for man to be alone. I think that's 100% truth but not always in a romantic sense. We're humans, we need to live a life that's connected to other people. We need friends. Most of us, but not all of us, need lovers. If you find yourself constantly alone you gonna get fucked up after a while.
I think the Bible teaches a true form of masculinity that's anything but toxic. Men need love and not just in the bedroom and from women. We need to love and be loved by our friends and family. We need friendships. We also need to fuck shit up. I thoroughly believe that's in our DNA. But generally tat shit should be evil or injustice shit. Not your girlfriend's face or her rights. In fact the word "husband" has its roots in agriculture and gardening. And I think that's what a true husband is. Someone who grows his wife into something strong and beautiful. I focus on masculinity because I'm a man but I think there's alot for women too that I don't know shit about.


I don't have a satisfactory way to end this post and need to get out of bed.

 

[melty]

I don't want to credit my semi-religious upbringing with giving me a moral compass, although in some ways it might have shaped it. The biggest influence it has on my day-to-day life, is a certain sense of discomfort when it comes to "taking the Lord's name in vain". I also feel this sense of belonging when there is a gathering and prior to eating a meal, one of the elder members of my family bows their head to lead us in prayer. Even though we may pray to a God who's existence I am far from certain of, it still makes me feel... something.

This is really strange to read with your username lol.

I don't think my religious upbringing really affects me, aside from just general knowledge. Maybe some things like do unto others etc.
But in a way, I wish it did. I think studies have shown that religious people are generally happier.
So I've been looking into Buddhism, since it seems like it's less about believing in something specific and more about a way of living life. Since people have been doing meditation for thousands of years, there's probably something to it.
In addiction recovery, religion is heavily emphasized. The most obvious example is AA/NA. But a newer program called Refuge Recovery has caught on which is based on Buddhist ideas. The only really Atheistic program I know of is Smart Recovery, which is just based on science.