Retcon Round-Up -

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SkippyLongbottom

kiwifarms.net
Phil's greatest fear before was being alone.

Now it's not being able to protect the ones he loves.

Edit: Let me explain. He was asked about his greatest fear before and that was being alone. Got tipped/cheered another time very recently; The past few days. This time it was about not being able to protect people he cares about(which we all know is Kat).
 
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Abe Vigoda

kiwifarms.net
Phil's greatest fear before was being alone.

Now it's not being able to protect the ones he loves.

Edit: Let me explain. He was asked about his greatest fear before and that was being alone. Got tipped/cheered another time very recently; The past few days. This time it was about not being able to protect people he cares about(which we all know is Kat).
He’s afraid the trolls will take the people he loves most: George, Abraham, Alexander, Andrew and Benjamin.
 

millais

The Yellow Rose of Victoria, Texas
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Wasn't Phil's story that he would pick up a toy, austically stare at it for an hour while his parents shopped, then happily put it back when they were done shopping?
- Why would they have been in a comic book store if it wasn't to buy something? I always thought they were at Walmart or something during this story.
That's a different story from when he was an even younger child, like at the age when he could still ride in the shopping cart. The wolverine figure story is from much later.
 

That Hedonist Nerd

Pig Whisperer & Boomer
kiwifarms.net
Wasn't Phil's story that he would pick up a toy, austically stare at it for an hour while his parents shopped, then happily put it back when they were done shopping?
- Why would they have been in a comic book store if it wasn't to buy something? I always thought they were at Walmart or something during this story.
- Who at 10 years old would even think about collectibility? I had baseball cards back then and would put them in my bicycle's rear wheel so I could have a motorcycle. I wasn't too scared of minorities to learn to ride a bike though.
Man, I can't tell you how many rookie cards I wrecked. From Chris Chelios in hockey to Ken Griffey Jr in Baseball. Taping that shit on the wall, using it so my bike made a cool sound. Thousands of dollars.

Still, rather get to say "I had that rookie card and fucking destroyed the fucking thing being a kid" than "We bought 10 cartons of O-Pee-Chee and Topp's cards every year and put them in storage for 15 years before pulling them out and seeing how much money we made!"

I used to spend allllll my money on cases of those motherfuckers, just trying to get a complete set. My Pokemon.
 

leChinkyRaccoon

kiwifarms.net
23:16

Not sure if this is a retcon or not cause I don't think I've heard the full story from Phil directly before. But even here how can he say he was so fucked up yet still ends up going to school the next day? Severe burn on his face that scarred him. Leg and arm messed up, went to school the next day. Obvious troll bait, I think.
 
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KingjadVCMP

kiwifarms.net
23:16

Not sure if this is a retcon or not cause I don't think I've heard the full story from Phil directly before. But even here how can he say he was so fucked up yet still ends up going to school the next day? Severe burn on his face that scarred him. Leg and arm messed up, went to school the next day. Obvious troll bait, I think.
I'm sure I remember him saying before that after this car accident he was in hospital, mother visited and first thing she did was chastise him for doing something he shouldn't have done? It irked him greatly that she wasn't immediately sympathetic.
 

Fallgout Boy

Dozy Dave is NOT a children's entertainer!
kiwifarms.net
23:16

Not sure if this is a retcon or not cause I don't think I've heard the full story from Phil directly before. But even here how can he say he was so fucked up yet still ends up going to school the next day? Severe burn on his face that scarred him. Leg and arm messed up, went to school the next day. Obvious troll bait, I think.
I've never heard the actual story of how the crash happened. So someone supposedly came up from behind so fast that he had to swerve hard to the side to avoid them? Wasn't his fault, nothing he could do! I honestly think he just lost control while speeding to impress his friend, and he conjured up this phantom detractor driver, probably hoping it would help with his insurance and not get him in trouble with Mama Burnell.

This is the kind of thing you'd make up when you did dumb shit as a kid and didn't want to get in trouble. No, didn't fall off my bike while trying to pop a wheelie! Some older kids came and pushed me off of it! No, I didn't ruin my new pants by jumping around in mud puddles! Some older kids came and pushed me in! What did they look like? Um, I didn't see...
 

CausticMinory

Meanie, fat guy, doesn't like nice guys.
kiwifarms.net
Phil's greatest fear before was being alone.

Now it's not being able to protect the ones he loves.

Edit: Let me explain. He was asked about his greatest fear before and that was being alone. Got tipped/cheered another time very recently; The past few days. This time it was about not being able to protect people he cares about(which we all know is Kat).
Yeah fuck his parents though, they got one foot in the grave so he doesn't care if they aren't protected. But the chick he's known for all of 2 years, gotta protect her, she makes him tendies.
 

Schmeckel

Praise 'til you're hollow
kiwifarms.net
That was my depression!
So, I had a snort burnell video come on as background noise while I was working earlier... And something that came up made me channel some Phoenix Wright and say "HOLD IT!"

Pigroach has said that when he was younger, he had depression really badly and was on a massive cocktail of medications just to keep him from doing something bad, yeah? Well...


He also claims he hasn't taken many medications in his life other than OTC stuff and Accutane when he was younger cause he was a real authentic pimple pizza as a teen.

Intredasting....
 

Muppetmode

kiwifarms.net
So, I had a snort burnell video come on as background noise while I was working earlier... And something that came up made me channel some Phoenix Wright and say "HOLD IT!"

Pigroach has said that when he was younger, he had depression really badly and was on a massive cocktail of medications just to keep him from doing something bad, yeah? Well...


He also claims he hasn't taken many medications in his life other than OTC stuff and Accutane when he was younger cause he was a real authentic pimple pizza as a teen.

Intredasting....
Lean in manual depression dude
 

Wurstbrot

This was my depression
kiwifarms.net
Post for archival purposes.

Retcon of the car accident, narrated by @Surly Muppet. In short: Phil's fault, except if you ask Phil, get your ass banned.
Original post by Surly here and some discussions after that also exist.

New details provided tonight about the car accident that burned off half of Phil's face and left him with permanent brain damage (I assume):

- He was getting onto the highway/parkway from high school. The alleged speed limit was 55mph on this parkway.
- Phil was 'just changing lanes' after getting on, going from right to left (I assume, per standard, the left lane is supposed to be for passing at a higher speed...)
- Phil was going 30-40 mph when he was doing this. Phil emphasizes this, presumably to show how innocent he is. He doesn't mention why he got into the passing lane after having just merged onto the parkway at 10-20 under the limit, but sure.
- As Phil changed lanes, someone (I speculate it was Tevin), came up going 100mph. Phil is sure of this because of the speed that they were coming at him, it must have been 100mph. Double the limit, extremely illegal. Please note that these people were presumably in the passing lane.
- Phil, calculating that they wouldn't be able to stop, exclaimed 'oh shit' and veered into the right lane again
- Upon doing so, he overcompensated and went "ding" (I suspect it was not a "ding") and hit the guard rail/divider/"rail-rail-railing"
- THE CAR then lost control and crashed (please note: it was THE CAR that lost control)
- If the other car was not going insanely illegally fast in that left lane, he would have been able to lane change safely
- If Phil had not got out of the way and "caused the accident [he] caused", it would have actually been worse because the guy would have rear ended him. That was a direct quote there.
- Everyone probably would have died in that scenario, so Phil's personal Paul Walker Experience was "the better of two situations".
- A dash cam would not have helped, because it wouldn't have seen the guy coming behind him.
- Phil got angry at people in the chat for stating that it was his fault.

So, in conclusion, Phil's accident was his fault, he was driving like an idiot by his own admission, probably without his glasses, and a dash cam probably would have only verified that Phil was going 20 below the limit and immediately moved into the left lane after merging for reasons that are, at best, nonexistent. This is some of your shittiest work, Phil. Stop relying on retcons and try to get the story at least half-right the first time.
Edit: Video evidence for the hard boiled who can stomach Phil's voice.
 
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toothless_banana

kiwifarms.net
I saw this tweet, not sure what to do about it.


1:35
Around 7:10 of that video, he mentions he's not morbidly obese, and to be fair his sweater puppies weren't as pronounced, but he said he's "...got a chubby face; I always have. Ever since I was a kid." Going in-line with a mention of never lifting heavy objects, going to have to press [x] on his claims of being jacked/ripped, and into lifting weights.

Also, first observable t-pose from him?

dstpose.PNG
 

Muppetmode

kiwifarms.net
Around 7:10 of that video, he mentions he's not morbidly obese, and to be fair his sweater puppies weren't as pronounced, but he said he's "...got a chubby face; I always have. Ever since I was a kid." Going in-line with a mention of never lifting heavy objects, going to have to press [x] on his claims of being jacked/ripped, and into lifting weights.

Also, first observable t-pose from him?

View attachment 917218
He think it was yesterday’s stream where he said he stopped lifting cause he was lifting “heavy” weights (how much weight? He doesn’t remember it was so long ago dude) that he felt like he was gonna pop a blood vessel and almost dropped the weight on himself. He then says that’s when he knew he needed to stop and proceeded to never lift again. Lmao
 
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bearsintrees

kiwifarms.net
He think it was yesterday’s stream where he said he stopped lifting cause he was lifting “heavy” weights (how much weight? He doesn’t remember it was so long ago dude) that he felt like he was gonna pop a blood vessel and almost dropped the weight on himself. He then says that’s when he knew he needed to stop and proceeded to never lift again. Lmao
He's told that version of the story a bunch of times, that he was so buff that he felt like he was going to have a stroke. To be honest it sounds like he took his insecurities to the gym a single time, saw people lifting more than him, threw on too much weight, and almost hurt himself. I'm kinda surprised he's never blamed "weightlifting" for his bad back.
 

Wurstbrot

This was my depression
kiwifarms.net
You remember Tolo? The guy who really enjoyed Monster Hunter World except the endgame? The guy who invited Phil to play with him and Cry but Phil refused and spread the lie hat Tolo was disappointed by Monster Hunter World in general? Tolo didn't really liked that, he then said to Phil he should stop hosting him. Because Phil spread misinformation.

Now it's the detractor's fault cuz they attacked him. Nothing he could do.

The holy Spaghettimonster shall bless DSPArchives for writing everything down and looking up what Tolo actually said about the situation.


Screenshot_20190912_075833.jpg
 

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