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Count groudon

Saltier than Njord's left testicle
kiwifarms.net
Ever since I was a kid, I’ve fucking loved climbing shit. My family hated taking me anywhere there was trees or rocks because I’d literally disappear the second I got around them. Even today when I get bored I still think it’s fun to climb around stuff.

My great grandma who was a Native American said it was because “I have a strong spiritual connection with the air ” so I liked to stay in high places. Idk about that, I just really liked to look around at everything.
 

Wrest

r i g g a ð u þ a ð
kiwifarms.net
When I was around six or seven I had a friend who claimed to never cry; one day we were messing about in the school field at playtime and I thought I'd put a theory to the test, this theory meant punting him in the face as hard as I can to see if he would cry, which he did. He later claimed that it was fake tears, which I believed.
 

DDBCAE CBAADCBE

kiwifarms.net
When I was in my last year of elementary school I had this black gym teacher who used to constantly make fun of the children in our class whom had breathing issues or other such ailments that kept them on the bench. Anyways at the time I was a young sperg with no chill and I don't remember what he said but it had to be really bad because the moment he turned around I hit him in the spine with one of those aluminum chairs and blacked out. Apparently I put him in a headlock once he fell over but I don't remember any of that. Anyways, he's been in a wheelchair ever since and I got away with it because I was a little white kid.
 

DrJonesHat

All-around bad person
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
When I was in my last year of elementary school I had this black gym teacher who used to constantly make fun of the children in our class whom had breathing issues or other such ailments that kept them on the bench. Anyways at the time I was a young sperg with no chill and I don't remember what he said but it had to be really bad because the moment he turned around I hit him in the spine with one of those aluminum chairs and blacked out. Apparently I put him in a headlock once he fell over but I don't remember any of that. Anyways, he's been in a wheelchair ever since and I got away with it because I was a little white kid.
*adds you to the list of people I don't want to piss off*
 

Autocrat

Sophisticated
kiwifarms.net
I have literally done cocaine with 'Hot Fellon'.
829461

It was a year or so before this mugshot. My uncles were friends with him. Me and my uncles went to his house to watch a UFC or boxing fight. I few minutes after I met him, I remembered thinking 'this guy should be a singer or something'. I just read he his having a baby with a billionaire heiress. That is completely insane.
 

edboy

kiwifarms.net
When I was in elementary school, my mom and dad were unable to pick me up when school ended due to jobs they had gotten in order to be able to pay for the house, which we were expected to lose. As such, I had to walk home. As a six year old, I didn't think it was a big deal. Parents later recalled that they were scared shitless by the thought. Mom would leave me a candy/fruit snack on the counter when I got home as a sort of "prize" for walking home, as she called it.

One day, I get back home from school. I notice mom left me a Fruit By The Foot packet. Nice! I open it up, and notice something odd. There are 2 candies in there. Once again, nice! The wrappers have dollar signs all over them. Pretty cool! I eat both of them and throw the wrappers and shit away.

About a week later, I'm at my grandma's house. Since we lost cable I was glued to her TV watching cartoons. A commercial for Fruit By The Foot comes up. It's a commercial for a contest/sweepstakes that mentions getting around $1,000-$10,000 for finding 2 candies with dollar sign wrappers. OH SHIT!

as soon as we got home, I start to dig through the trash. I think I told my mom that I threw away my homework and she helped me dig through the trash. The wrapper was gone. I cried myself to sleep that night. And yeah, we lost the house like a month or so later.
 

lameandgay2

Born Schizophrenic: Orange is the new Clozapine
kiwifarms.net
One of my exes was best friends growing up with a guy who's father was put in prison for attempting to 14/88 the water system with ricin in my county. Pretty sure the guy was prosecuted with his father as an accessory or something, even though he wasn't a Nazi.
Father called him a nigger lover for listening to rap. So it's pretty stupid he got prosecuted for trying to 14/88 the water system. As a nigger lover.
 

Sprig of Parsley

Damnation dignified
kiwifarms.net
I like Frozen (ducks for cover).

I have a fear of riding horses. They're really big, really strong animals and even if you think you have total control over them there's nothing assuring you couldn't get Christopher Reeve'd at any moment by one. At least that's how I see it.
Frozen was kind of charming. It was all the exceptionalism surrounding it that soured it for me.

Horses are, once properly accustomed to being ridden and socialized properly and all that, surprisingly easy to manage. They're just sort of dumb and don't know their own strength. Kind of like big dopey dogs in a way. Had a friend who was putting some kind of new watering system into the pen and the horse was goofing around with its big ball toy thing and running around a bit and one of the horse's hind hooves clipped said friend in the ribcage on a close pass. She went to the hospital for bruised ribs and some torn connective tissue I think. Horse wasn't trying to be mean, just being silly and dumb. Wasn't even really a big horse, she was like a yearling IIRC.
 
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