Careercow Richard "Lowtax" Kyanka - Deadbeat Founder of Something Awful

Looking at Lowtax's timeline, it's clear that SA was his lucky break. Before SA he dropped out of college and got fired from two jobs. Even after SA he continued to piss away opportunities. Even shit like Gooncon, which was a major success for its time, he dropped due to his incompetence. I'm not sure if it was posted here or SA, but I saw a goon talk about how he had connections in the hospitality industry to host Gooncon, but LT wanted to host it in Kansas City and ended up cancelling the convention as a whole before the next one.

Lowtax complains about being shat upon online. But the whole reason SA was created was because he wanted to shit on other people. Go figure.

Orange Rhymer
Hold up. She knowingly broke up a marriage, with children involved. As was brought up again in what you quoted from me, she was bragging and taunting the ex like they were rivals in a shitty sitcom, and her part was 'stereotypical villainous white girl.' She spent *half a year* helping Lowtax character-assassinate Ashley, and I don't buy for a moment she was unaware of the deceit involved. She changed her tone and her story after whatever plans she had with Lowtax were clearly, irrevocably finished- and not without trying a couple times to put that fucked up train back on the rails before giving up and slinking back to Utah.

She's a real fucking bad person.
"If she fucks someone else, to fuck you - she will also fuck YOU"

A foolish man,
if he acquires
wealth or a woman’s love,
pride grows within him,
but wisdom never:
he goes on more and more arrogant.

-Verse 79, The Havamal

PTNR 2.0

[showering intensifies]
Isn't the summary of this report "Found two intoxicated dummies. Both lied to us, so we separated them for the evening"? I can practically hear the detective sighing & rolling her eyes as she writes it.
Having read the police report, here is my current head canon of what happened; I think this is a pretty reasonable read of the situation, and accounts for both party's, erm, "eccentricities":

Logan had been being annoying all day, probably having a manic episode, wanting to spend time with Lowtax, saying she wanted to kill herself because he wouldn't, etc. She got drunk as a result to cope, because she's an alcoholic. No, not 11 bottles of 12 abv beer drunk, but reasonably tanked. Lowtax was exhausted with her ass, popped pills, drank booze, and went to bed early -- the same way he deals with any conflict that he can't ban someone over. He probably didn't tell her he was going to bed early, so when she came downstairs to see why he wasn't answering her manic, crazy, suicide bait texts anymore, she found him passed out. She probably nudged him several times, likely in the back, with her foot to wake him up so she could continue her manic-sperg in person.. Dude does have back problems, despite how he wildly oversells it to hide his addiction, and she probably nudged him a little too hard in the wrong area, which woke him up in pain. Being woken up painfully and suddenly from an Ambien and box wine slumber probably resulted in enough disorientation and adrenaline for Lowtax to grab and push Logan back to make her stop. She was drunk and her coordination as off, so she fell backwards to the floor. Lowtax at some point probably says something like "OUCH YOU CUNT THAT FUCKING HURTS" in response to Logan's prodding, to which Logan replied, sarcastically, "oh, like a knife in the back?" implying that he'd betrayed her by not spending time with her or coddling her outburst.

The cops get called and find a drunk Logan, a drunk/high Lowtax, text messages from Logan saying she wanted to kill herself, but no marks on either person. Both Logan and Lowtax say the other is at fault, but refuse to truly press the issue and demand an arrest since Logan knows she technically instigated and Lowtax knows he technically pushed a woman violently to the floor, so neither wants to go to jail. The cops, who have probably been out to the Kyanka resident enough as is, just throw their hands up, tell Logan they'll take her to a hotel since it isn't her house she's in, and leave Lowtax to sleep off his booze and drugs.

  • 2005 - Marries his first wife Megan in a marriage that would last for about a decade and produce two kids
You should mention how Lowtax and Megan met. There was a goonmeet at Lowtax's house. Megan was the girlfriend of some relatively popular-ish local goon that attended. As an aside, I don't remember if she was a goon yet at this point herself, but she was, at some point, either before, during or after, a goon as well, under the name CrazyYellow (jesus I think I broke my comma key there).

Anyway, she either dumped her goon boyfriend for Lowtax, or cheated on him with Lowtax first before dumping him. There was some very minor forum drama over it; Lowtax banned Megan's ex over it. Possibly perma, but I think just regular.

Anyhoo, wild to think that there was a point in time where Lowtax was such hot shit that he could cuck a popular goon, steal his girlfriend, ban him and face no real repercussions over it.
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Um Oh Ah Yeah

I cause problems
True & Honest Fan
Minor PL: I have a relative that is employed in a local hospital - billing department. Part of her job is literally 2x billing insurance. Shit should be a felony, but it's her job. She has it as part of her job descrip - in front of god and everyone.

Also, if you ever take an Accounting or Econ class, you might be taught that 'Ebil Insurance Companies" in the 60's/70's used to pay each and every invoice w/o knowing wtf they were paying. A factory doctor (John Deere Tractor iirc) saw an invoice for a co-worker and realized the hospital was billing the insurance for 100 minor procedures, instead of the actual full operation.

Just 2 'Le Happy Merchant' tricks that hospitals do.

Also, Hospital meals are partially subsidized by fed, state, and local gubments in the US (depending on yur area). Want to eat out cheap? Hospitals! You are paying for it anyway, Make sure to eat where the staff eats, not where they direct visitors. I've had $5 steak dinners. No tax, either!
I've seen a few breakdowns of hospital and pharmaceutical charges, so I wanted to add the insurance perspective. Most insurance companies have R&C, which stands for reasonable and customary. Basically, the company negotiates with each medical group/hospital system for what they'll pay for each type of procedure, and then regardless of what the doctor or hospital actually bills, the insurance company pays the negotiated rates. From what I can tell, there's some level of hospitals not really keeping track of what each insurance company's R&C is, so they charge as much as possible to make sure they're charging over whatever that is.

Then there's the whole thing about Medicare's limitations, but that's a whole different unfunny paragraph.

As a side note, if you ever go to a medical practitioner of any kind, and this happens:

-they bill your insurance say, $500
-insurance says "okay well the R&C for that service is $300 lol"
-the doctor's office sends you a bill for the $200 that insurance didn't pay

That's called balance billing and is usually illegal. That's why reading and understanding your explanation of benefits is so important. You might end up owing money because you have to meet your deductible, and the doctor will try to sneak in the balance bill along with that, probably while complaining about how corrupt insurance companies are to charge you so much. It happens a lot.


Boys are for pleasure women are for babies
Lowtax posted that report because he's the one that called the cops and it EXONERATES him, nevermind the last sentence in it.
Are you saying the person on KF is Lowtax? If so I dont think so, Lee's Summit PD just gave me the copy today too but that dude beat me to posting it.
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Sir Wesley Tailpipe
Seems like he was actually in China. Why would he lie about going to Fuzhou of all places? Seems like a short vacation to meet a friend and nothing more. If he actually taught in China then he wouldn't stop talking about it.
Maybe he was there to hook up with a Chinese thot with daddy issues and mental health problems.