Inactive Richard "Lowtax" Kyanka - Deadbeat (emphasis on "Dead") founder of Something Awful, forced out of his own community, on his second divorce, stuck his dick in crazy, "Birth Giver"

  • We've gotten set up for downtime announcements since Twitter doesn't allow us to have one.


The word is the word of the sword.
May 28, 2020

To pay, or not to pay, that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The Tax and Payments of outrageous alimony,
Or to take Arms against a Sea of Goons,
And by opposing ban them: to ban, to post
No more; and by a sleep, to say we end
The deadbeat, and the thousand Gacha games
My mind is heir to? 'Tis a consummation
Devoutly to be dead. To waste, to live,
To live, perchance to Die; aye, there's the truth,
For in that bout of alimony, what lies may come,
When I walk myself off this mortal coil,
Must give me pause.

There's the self-repugnance
That makes Troons of so long users:
For who would bear the Bans and Probes of forums,
The Jannies be wrong, the proud man's Banhammer,
The agony of hedonism, the Money's delay,
The virtue of Laziness, and the spurns
That load-bearing slurs of th'unworthy takes,
When he himself might his Forum make
With a bare Server? What would Jeffrey bear,
To grunt and sweat under old PHP,
But that the dread of arcane code,
The undiscovered exploits, from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will,
And makes us rather bear those Tenbux we have,
Than fly to others that we know not of?

vBulletin does make cowards of us all,
And thus the native hue of Hedonism
Is sicklied o'er, with the pale glow of Streams,
And enterprises of great lulz and sperging,
With this regard their Accounts turn awry,
And lose the name of $10. Awake you now,
the devil Ashli? Woman, in thy nightmares
Be all my sins avowed.



Nothing to see here. Move along citizen.
True & Honest Fan
Mar 19, 2018


The word is the word of the sword.
May 28, 2020
His current location is:
Until we can update locations through the database, inspect element is the best solution, I'm afraid.
Screen Shot 2022-07-29 at 1.49.57 AM.png

I whipped this up in MS Paint because I've been on a bit of a creative/poem spree recently.

Dusty Old Bones
Sep 12, 2020
Would be more fitting to burry him underneath that shitty limestone meme obelisk 9gag made a while back.
I met a surfer from Web 1.5, Who said
— “Two vast and footless toes of stone
Stand in the frontpage. . . . Near them, on the forums,
Half sunk a shattered visage lies, whose drunken slurs,
And smirking lip, and sneer of cold indifference,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them, and the pies that fed;
And on the pedestal, these words appear:
My name is Lowtax, King of Irony;
Look on my Works, yon Gooftroop, and lmfao!
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal hugbox, witless and seething
The lone and lumpy troons stretch far away.”


double dippin' DHS
Feb 3, 2013
I got a couple more...

There was a lad named Rich
Foot jobs scratched that itch
Goonettes came around
They saw he was a clown
Now he's lying dead in a ditch

There was a young gal named Mandy
In vinyl pants she was quite the dandy
She dated the Shmork
Hopped on his dork
Now she's a dude named Andy

There was a man named Lowtax
His favorite treat was Toe Snax
He jerked off on a beaker
Thought it was a sneaker
And now his brains are quite lax