- Highlight
- #1
Greetings lads and lasses! As you may have already heard, the epic self-published magnum opus of one Lewis Lovhaug, AKA Linkara, has been leaked to the evil Nazi hater corners of the internet. For an astoundingly long time, Monsieur Lovhaug was able to keep his epic fantasy adventure rape/comfort fic mostly under the radar by charging exorbitant prices for the books. However the day of reckoning has come and mean jerks on some New Zealand bird and fruit forum have leaked copies of the books. By pure coincidence at the exact same time I happened to gain access to the same books through completely legitimate means.
Therefore it is my duty and privilege to give a detailed report of the writings of the man who built a career on thumbing his nose at the likes of Rob Liefeld, Brian Michael Bendis, Joe Quesada, Frank Miller, etc, etc, talking about how much they suck and giving them advice on how to write more better.
Choice excerpts have already been shared on the Love Hog's thread, but like Zack Snyder I want to take a deeper dive into this mess, because fuck this is a special kind of bad. Not just bad, but bizarre and a bit concerning. And not just because of the rape stuff. People have suggested that Lewis is a more high functioning Chris Chan who hides his power level better, and these books certainly don't disprove that theory.
As far as copyright concerns go, I'll be sharing choice quotes from the book, but mostly summarizing. Fair use, bitch! But even if I copy-pasted the entire book on this thread with my commentary, that's exactly what Linkara does in his comic book videos. So if he has a problem with that, he's basically saying that his entire career is built on copyright infringement, which means he should do the honorable thing and commit sudoku on his Youtube channel. Until he deletes all his videos where he reads entire comics to his audience, he's in no position to complain about copyright infringement.
Sometimes hilarious, mostly painful, let's dive in, as the man himself would say, to Angel Armor: Just a Boy.
Apologies for the weird formatting of the first line of the prologue. For some reason it gets all screwed up when I put it in quotes or try to spoiler it with everything else, so this will have to do.
Therefore it is my duty and privilege to give a detailed report of the writings of the man who built a career on thumbing his nose at the likes of Rob Liefeld, Brian Michael Bendis, Joe Quesada, Frank Miller, etc, etc, talking about how much they suck and giving them advice on how to write more better.
Choice excerpts have already been shared on the Love Hog's thread, but like Zack Snyder I want to take a deeper dive into this mess, because fuck this is a special kind of bad. Not just bad, but bizarre and a bit concerning. And not just because of the rape stuff. People have suggested that Lewis is a more high functioning Chris Chan who hides his power level better, and these books certainly don't disprove that theory.
As far as copyright concerns go, I'll be sharing choice quotes from the book, but mostly summarizing. Fair use, bitch! But even if I copy-pasted the entire book on this thread with my commentary, that's exactly what Linkara does in his comic book videos. So if he has a problem with that, he's basically saying that his entire career is built on copyright infringement, which means he should do the honorable thing and commit sudoku on his Youtube channel. Until he deletes all his videos where he reads entire comics to his audience, he's in no position to complain about copyright infringement.
Sometimes hilarious, mostly painful, let's dive in, as the man himself would say, to Angel Armor: Just a Boy.
The prologue is a very long “prophecy” about our lord and savior, Linkara. Yes, Lewis named his online comic reviewer persona after the hero of prophecy in his fantasy novels, and if you think that's a little uncomfortable, he also named his main character Louis. Even most fanfiction authors are more subtle than this. Also note the religious tone. That's one of several things that makes this series so... special.
You might think that this prophecy rhymes because “herein” and “Sin” rhyme, but you'd be giving the Lightbringer too much credit. This is the only line that has a rhyme scheme. Most of the prologue reads like this:
Riveting stuff, isn't it? This isn't like Tolkien's little poem about the rings at the start of LoTR. This prophecy is a full page of text, about 400 words long. It's a painful 400 words. This information would all be better given to the reader over the course of the actual story. Especially since Lewis is going to show us plenty of the bad stuff the baddies do anyway, in loving detail. More detail than most people wanted or are comfortable with.
Another standout paragraph from the bard:
So the baddies wear black and act super serious, except when they don't want people to know they're baddies. Then they don't wear black and don't act super serious. Useful information! Also, how many different shades of “dark as pitch” can you have? This sounds like a really confusing hierarchy. Do they all have color swatches that are just different shades of black they pull out when they need to figure out someone's rank? How many ranks do they have in their hierarchy? Because at some point the lower ranks must be getting more into charcoal gray territory.
Anyway, long story short, vague bad force makes bad things happen and has bad people working for it. Non-bad people pray for a savior and a savior arrives. It's as generic as it gets.
Apparently this big wall of poorly written bullshit is only a tiny fraction of this world's sacred texts. I'm beginning to sympathize with the people dressing in black, never showing joy, and becoming servants of evil.
Next update: we meet our hero. Brace yourselves.
You might think that this prophecy rhymes because “herein” and “Sin” rhyme, but you'd be giving the Lightbringer too much credit. This is the only line that has a rhyme scheme. Most of the prologue reads like this:
Riveting stuff, isn't it? This isn't like Tolkien's little poem about the rings at the start of LoTR. This prophecy is a full page of text, about 400 words long. It's a painful 400 words. This information would all be better given to the reader over the course of the actual story. Especially since Lewis is going to show us plenty of the bad stuff the baddies do anyway, in loving detail. More detail than most people wanted or are comfortable with.
Another standout paragraph from the bard:
So the baddies wear black and act super serious, except when they don't want people to know they're baddies. Then they don't wear black and don't act super serious. Useful information! Also, how many different shades of “dark as pitch” can you have? This sounds like a really confusing hierarchy. Do they all have color swatches that are just different shades of black they pull out when they need to figure out someone's rank? How many ranks do they have in their hierarchy? Because at some point the lower ranks must be getting more into charcoal gray territory.
Anyway, long story short, vague bad force makes bad things happen and has bad people working for it. Non-bad people pray for a savior and a savior arrives. It's as generic as it gets.
Next update: we meet our hero. Brace yourselves.
Apologies for the weird formatting of the first line of the prologue. For some reason it gets all screwed up when I put it in quotes or try to spoiler it with everything else, so this will have to do.
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Lovhaug is a much funnier writer when he's not trying to be funny. So for those not keeping track:
