Roosterteeth / Achievement Hunter / Let's Play / Funhaus / Inside Gaming - Do you ever wonder why we're still here? Dick pics and sellouts ahoy.

Bookmark Cuck

Only mostly Jewish.
kiwifarms.net
If you showed me this 4 years ago I'd think Fiona was some retarded kid they let on the podcast for charity.

Nope they hired her instead. Jesus fucking christ. Imagine this bitch trying to live a normal functional life away from her parents money? She'd be fired from any customer facing job in minutes.
 

JimiHendrix

The best jazz player around.
kiwifarms.net
More info behind the spoiler, but it appears that due to Fiona's overindulgence in alcohol Rooster Teeth has made the decision to impose a 2-drink limit for their employees and also Fiona is being expelled from RT and is not allowed back on the podcast.
-Michael, Jeremy, Jack and Fiona are on this episode

-The lights are dimmed for some reason

-Fiona starts clapping for no reason

-Jack pretends to be confused about whether or not he should clap in an attempt to be funny

-Fiona is a parrot

-Jack has long hair and I think it looks stupid

-Jack tries to do some stupid bit where he and Fiona are news anchors. Fiona waves her hand and says something about racoons

-Michael's hair is also long (and somewhat reminiscent of Carrot Top)

-They cut to another set with some beach chairs on it. Fiona says that that is where she is going to black out

-Michael reveals that the lighting is different because the set has been moved

-Fiona says that the lighting makes her look "villainous"

-Jack describes her as a less mean version of Cruella de Vil

-Fiona is so loud and obnoxious. I have always actively avoided everything she was in because of this but my god it is so bad. The loud (and seemingly unprompted) outbursts are already getting to me.

-Michael says that what Jack said was stupid. Fiona responds with "He did his best mikey!" in a childish tone. Jack agrees

-Jack says that Fiona just spit in his beer

-Fiona responds with "whatever" and that she tested negative for covid

-They waffle on about how many precautions they are still taking against covid while Fiona talks about an indiscernible topic while waving her arms around

-Fiona says "I've got my dipeys on"

-Jeremy says that he had never "had his brain poked" until recently and didn't think it was that bad

-Fiona keeps talking over everyone without saying anything

-Jeremy did not know where to go to get tested for covid. Jack asks if he wandered into 'Queer Eye'. Jack then stops the conversation to clarify that it "wasn't some weird non-sequitur" and that they are filming that show nearby

-Michael tells a story about mistakenly getting in line to get a covid vaccine (he meant to get in line to be tested, I guess they do that in the parking lot). He says that he would be willing to get a third vaccine shot

-Fiona reminds of the absurdity of all of this by saying that everyone at RT has been vaccinated

-Jack the Giant Faggot goes on a soap box about the vaccine and says that we will never reach herd immunity

-The dynamic between Jack and Fiona is fucking weird. She says that Jack is a good influence and he tells her that he missed her

-Jeremy makes a joke about getting a microchip implanted into his body to track his location

-Fiona keeps touching her hair for seemingly no reason

-Michael shills there shitty t-shirts

-Fiona tells a boring story about listening to face jam while driving. Jack pretends that it was interesting and asks questions

-Fiona is a ditzy retard. She is so ugly when she laughs (which is a lot) and her eyes are blank and bovine in aspect

-Jeremy and Michael talk about streaming

-Jack says that they are flies everywhere on set

-Jack acknowledges that Ky is in the chat. Someone in chat asks when Ky is joining AH and Jack says that she already has. Fiona says that she does not know what is going on and that that was a weird question

-Jack asks Fiona a question about twitter because she is "the resident young person". The two disagree and have a very animated exchange about it. Jack drops the subject, calling it an "old man rant"

-Michael says that he had some fruit drink for the first time recently and Fiona is enamored with the subject

-Fiona is a parrot again

-Michael makes up a catchphrase for the drink but says that the company would not be willing to pay him for it. Everyone agrees

-Fiona takes what seems like several minutes to say that she recently introduced a friend to aforementioned drink

-Jack says that Fiona is responsible to bringing the drink to California

-Fiona starts talking about another drink and Jeremy reminds her that they are not sponsored by the company that makes it

-Fiona wants to make a statement to some company that makes drinks and Jack directs her to which camera to look at, despite the fact that she was looking at said camera. She tells Jack to stop and there is dead air while she stops talking to take a drink of her beer. Fiona praises the drink and they've said the name of it like 10+ in the past few minutes, I believe that they are being paid to talk about it

-Michael does not like grapefruit

-Fiona talks about Fruit Ninja and Jack pretends to not know what it is

-Jack tells Fiona that they did an episode of Immersion based around Fruit Ninja. Fiona responds with "What's Immersion?"

-They turn on a light and it makes Fiona self-conscious. In response Michael looks off set and says "What the hell is the matter with you?" in a serious tone

-Michael asks Fiona why she keeps touching her glasses and she erupts into a fit of nervous laughter

-Jeremy says that they are only allowed to have two drinks and Fiona talks about a recent email that was sent to her about this

-Fiona says that she always plans on blacking out when on the podcast and that she does not care for her safety

-Michael says that Fiona was once so drunk that she had to be carried off set. Fiona denies this

-Michael says that Fiona is the reason that the two drink limit was imposed

-Michael says that he is having fun and he actually seems to be

-Fiona keeps looking off set. She might just be bored but I suspect that she is looking at a nearby monitor to see what she looks like on camera. She has readjusted her hair/shirt/glasses at least 14 times in past ~20 minutes (I started to keep track because she is doing it so much)

-Jack says that the AH crew "could be funnier" and Fiona disagrees. Someone off set gives what Jeremy describes as "a solid yeah" in response

-Michael asks Fiona about a stream she did and she can not be bothered to talk about it

-Jack talks about some stream/video where he sang a 'Reel Big Fish' with Bruce from Funhaus. Jack has told this story in the past and it's just as stupid now as it was then

-Jeremy says that Eric got banned from Twitch for streaming AEW (or something like that)

-Fiona nervously wrings her hands

-Fiona is a parrot again. I am going to stop pointing this out because it happens too often

-Jeremy gives a forced laugh but then abruptly stops

-Michael tells a story about the spam filter on his phone and his laughter is also forced

-Fiona says that she never answers phone numbers she does not recognize. Michael says that he cannot do that because he is "an actual adult"

-I am more certain that Fiona is literally just staring at herself on an off camera monitor because she comments on how dark the set looks

-Fiona says that she like "bits" and that they are fun but does not reference any 'bit's that she likes

-The conversation continues and the use of the word 'bit' continues to the point of semantic satiation

-Jack says that Fiona leaving AH was just a bit, I cannot tell if he is being serious. I don't understand what anyone is trying to say at this point

-Fiona talks about doing fortnite dances and Michael says (presumably to reassure her) that she doesn't even have to do the dances correctly, but can just "wiggle" instead

-Fiona says that she has "been doing hops", which prompts Michael to say that Fiona has been "killing it". They cut to a camera that shows Fiona's feet and she does a few hops while sayin "Mikey LOOK!". Everyone praises her for this

-Michael says that the hopping requires "years of practice"

-Fiona says that she regularly interrupts Michael's conversations so she can hop for him

-Jack asks Fiona about tiktok but is sure to ask if he can talk about it first. Fiona responds with "I've just been talkin'" and leaves it at that

-Jack presses Fiona for an answer to his question and she waffles on about a tiktok pose

-Fiona unkowingly describes the state of Rooster Teeth

-Jack says that he assumes that other people 'tune him out'. Fiona seems to want to reassure him that that is not the case but just sounds confused and bored

-Michael says that he noticed that Fiona was getting upset when Jack was "talking at her", which prompts Jack to ask her in a somewhat worried tone "Are you not happy that I'm here?"

-Jack says that he and Fiona were supposed to go to disneyworld together and she has no idea what he is talking about. They work it out and Fiona says that she can "crash on her couch" when they go there.

-There is a persistent noise from somewhere off set that Fiona keeps talking about. Both Michael and Jeremy tell her to just tune it out several times

-Michael says in regards to covid that in the past year "nothing has changed"

-Michael brings up Fiona's stupid hopping again

-Jack talks about AH pajamas and there is a silence because everyone realizes that they weren't supposed to talk about the pajamas

-"I was jus- I was just wanted to say something very. I was just gonna say I was just gonna say that um, I... I um had such a great time, spending like just spending time with everyone"-Fiona, talking about filming some show

-Jack pulls out a ziplock bag that contains masks that have the logo of his silly little roller coaster show. The masks are already in plastic packaging, so they must have been put in the ziplock bag 'for safety reasons'

-Fiona remarks on the fact that she is putting on one of the masks without permission and Jeremy interjects with a firm "That's yours now!"

-Someone (they say the name Sarah) texted Michael because she was upset with some aspect of the podcast. He does not say what it is but he shows everyone his phone. Fiona looks particularly surprised and says "What the fuck is happening?" and Michael and Jeremy firmly say "Nothing."

-Michael makes a point to got get a drink of water

-Jack dislikes cucumber water

-Michael says he likes cucumber yogurt and talks about meal kits, Fiona looks bored

-Fiona tries to swat at a fly and Jack pretends that it is funny

-There is a moment where Fiona goes to say something but stops abruptly, which causes the conversation to instantly stop and everyone turns their heads in unison to look at Fiona

-Fiona, to Michael: "Baby likes his cucumber water!" Michael agrees and makes baby noises

-"What?" -Fiona, in response to a simple question about a statement she had just made

-Fiona says that she is very appreciative of Michael for doing "the baby bit" and that it started because they were yelling baby noises at each other on a stream once

-Michael says that he is going to get more water and walks off set

-Jack tells Fiona that he is getting into soccer. She shakes her head and puts her hand up in exasperation and says "awesome" in a bored tone

-Fiona says she is European

-Jack asks her something specific about soccer and she waves her dismissively and says "No I don't know what that is". Jack pretends that he is not upset at this but clearly is

-Fiona says that she does not watch soccer any more but gets excited for the World Cup

-Jack tells her about an upcoming local soccer game. Fiona asks if he is inviting her to go with him and he says he is but clearly does not want to even go himself

-Fiona wanted party hats for the podcast but could not figure out how to acquire them

-They shill some spring event thing they are doing

-Fiona says that something that Michael said was smart and says "look at you mikey!"

-Fiona says "flied" in place of the word "flew" and acts dismissive when she is corrected

-Jeremy mentions that he likes teleprompters and Fiona agrees, repeating the word 'teleprompter' while staring at herself off screen while fiddling with her hair. She has been adjusting some aspect of her appearance nearly once a minute, I have counted 39 instances of this and I am only at ~46 minutes. The camera hasn't even been on her the whole time either

-Jeremy had flight trouble

-Jeremy met an eccentric old veteran during his flight and the story is actually amusing. It starts around 49 minutes in if anyone is interested

-Fiona says that she does not miss not leaving her house

-Fiona often has conversations with (ok with is a strong word, the say things to her I guess would be more apt) uber drivers about how much Austin has changed in the past 6 years. She says "That shit is so stupid." She is the only one that has used any curse words so far

-Jeremy recently had a misunderstanding with an uber driver and feels bad about it

-Fiona says that she thinks that it is funny that uber has a system in place to rate drivers/passengers and that she "should check it out"

-Fiona is often very, very drunk when calling an uber and often gets very loud during the rides

-Fiona notices that someone in chat said something about a handjob and initially thought the person was talking about her

-Jeremy says he could give a very good handjob

-Fiona says that giving handjobs in Dallas would be an "awesome time" and then bites her bottom lip

-Fiona thinks it is very funny/interesting that 3 separate RT employees were picked up by drivers who were driving mustangs. She is very animated about it

-Fiona says she does not know what mustangs are and pantomimes driving and makes engine noises

-Fiona says something stupid (although she might've just misspoke) and Jeremy corrects her. She stops herself and says (in a very childish tone I might add) that she does not want to continue her story because she feels stupid. Everyone stops and tries to encourage her to tell her story (Jack in particular)

-Fiona makes a big deal out of going to get a second beer. She does not know where they are and Michael has to tell her that they are not under the table so she should stop looking there

-Jack again tries to tell a story to get Fiona to actually talk about something and she stonewalls him again and cackles nervously

-Michael asks about the story and this cause Fiona to become very animated and say something about otters. Michael asks if that was part of Jacks story, he says it was not

-Fiona expresses doubts that she would be able to get tickets into disneyworld, Jack says that "we can make it happen." Fiona says that she is willing to give handjobs in exchange for the tickets. Michael suggests that she ask Jeremy to give the handjobs for her

-Fiona says that she likes to travel with Jack because "everyone recognizes him" and says that they look like a father/daughter when it happens

-Fiona says that when she is recognized it's only when traveling with Jack and they always say "Oh, you're here too". The camera cuts to the Michael/Jeremy angle and it was very clear that they had no idea what to say

-Fiona says that she is going to stop "nerding out." She has literally not expressed anything more than a superficial interest in anything other than fruity alcoholic drinks, handjobs, and preening (up to 54 times now).

-Fiona tells a story about going to some race and it sounds like she is 13 years old

-Michael makes reference to a movie based on something Fiona says. She responds with "What the fuck are you talking about?" but then she realizes that she has seen the movie he was referencing. She starts to waffle on about it but she doesn't actually know much of anything about the movie

-Fiona tells us that she has never been sexually attracted to cars

-Michael talks about the movie because he has a brain and remembers things. Fiona says that she does not remember the movie

-Fiona says "Lightning McQueen crocs" as if she wants to talk about them. Michael prompts her to do so and Jack asks her several questions about them. Fiona does not acknowledge either of them, repeats the phrase, turns to the camera, makes some stupid gesture

-Fiona repeats herself again and Jack continues to ask her about the crocs. She says "I'm talking about the shoes!" While staring at herself off screen and straightens her shirt out again. She then asks if she is allowed to "go way off topic because that's what the show's called". Jack says "I'm done, I've lost her"

-Jack mentions that Fiona is on her second beer. She tells him to leave her alone and Michael whiteknights for her. Jack apologizes and brings up the first bell, which then rings

-Michael thinks that Jacks hair makes him look like Jeff Bridges but that he is not as good looking. Jack says that Jeff is handsome

-Jack has to tell Fiona to finish her story. She says that she saw some guy on a billboard that reminded her of Jeremy (which is unrelated) and then she finally gets along with it

-I want to say that she told her story but that would be going too far I think. Something about a croc store in New York that is green and has holes in it that she never went inside of and she was wondering if it was still upon given quarantine

-Fiona says that New York is dead. Michael asks her what that means and she says she was there to see family in December and that it was "Just... Dead." Jack points out that of course it seemed that way given covid (he mentions the vaccine specifically) and she does not listen or care

-Fiona says she has "so many stories" about some train in New York (she lived there for 12 years). Jack asks for one story from her and the first thing that comes to her mind are stories about seeing rats

-Fiona says she has "seen everything"

-Jack says that Fiona is spoiled and she gets a look of incredulity on her face and asks what he means. Michael and Jeremy yell for no reason and Michael starts chanting "nut, nut, nut" and tells Jeremy to press the "nut button". There is a defeated look on Jack's face while Fiona Happily says that it sounds like it says 'not' instead of nut

-Jeremy takes out hand sanitizer and uses some after pressing the button

-Fiona likes squirting

-Fiona almost hits Jack in the face while swatting at flies and he seems upset about it. Fiona tells him it is ok

-Michael is very happy to see people again

-Fiona notices that the camera cut to her so she turns toward it

-Jeremy said quarantine made him fat but he worked it off

-Fiona yells "Mikey's wearing skinny jeans!" and demands that he stand up and show them. He does and she is enamored

-Michael says that he was fat when they filmed Dead Little Roosters

-Jack is trying to get back into his 'running kick'

-Jeremy says that he does a lot of hiking in the woods/mountains near his house (looking for his cat obviously but he didn't say it). He mentions getting lost in the woods, combined with his weird microchip joke from earlier I'd say that the cat still weighs heavily on his mind

-Michael needs to go to the bathroom. He wanted to wait but can't and Fiona says that she is in favor of him "going peepee"

-Fiona "what do you mean spoiled?" Nova says that she has ridden over 80% of the roller coasters in this country

-Fiona says that she did not know that Idaho existed until recently

-Fiona puts on the mask that she stole earlier

-Jack talks about talking to someone on twitter and Fiona talks about how great it is to be verified on twitter

-Jack continues his story but Fiona acts as though he doesn't even exist and talks to Jeremy instead

-Fiona makes a big deal out of Jack briefly talking to Ken Moreno for some reason

-Jeremy talks about some guy (who he still follows on twitter) that worked at disneyworld and recognized him. Fiona insists that he send her a link to the guy's twitter but only after Jeremy reveals that he gave Jeremy a stack of fast-pass tickets to avoid the lines

-Fiona wants to tell a roller coaster story but she is told by everyone that she is only allowed to tell one

-Her story was that she almost passed out on a roller coaster one time

-Fiona will not let Jack finish his thought about a roller coaster that he brought up and dredges up her story again

-She continues to talk over Jack because "roller coasters are SOOOO COOL lMAO"

-Fiona says "Anyways, I'm done" and Jack says "Ok, Fiona's done with annual pass". This tells me that she was told to talk about it and Jack is acknowledging that she talked about it and it's over (he wants the podcast to end is what I'm implying).

-Fiona asks Michael how his "peepee" went and tells him that he left his mike on when he went to the bathroom

-Fiona continues her childish antics of trying to catch flies from the air

-Fiona says "I'm not a light-weight, I just enjoy things." She is likely talking to chat because contextually that makes no sense

-Fiona says that she is fun and Michael agrees

-Jack (who looks quite dejected) says that there is a beeping noise that is going to drive him insane

-Michael says that he was told to talk about their "pride merch"

-Fiona says that she forgot to bring the shirt she was supposed to show off

-Fiona talks over Jeremy to tell us that she is gay but interrupts herself to try to catch a fly from the air

-Michael compares Alfredo's nipples to Hershey kisses

-Jack says that he thinks that most RT content is stupid

-Fiona insists that everyone is "a little gay"

-Michael says that Fiona "was assigning him gay points" because he talked about Zac Efron

-Fiona explains what Michael was talking about without actually explaining what she was doing but then stops talking and gets visibly annoyed when Jack says something to her

-She responds with "I understand where you're coming from..." and then puts on her stolen mask and turns away from him (toward the camera of course)

-She calls Jack a nerd. He starts to explain that he is a nerd and then she talks over him some more so he lets it go. She talks about Michael being a bit gay again but doesn't actually say anything. She again insists that everyone has innate gayness but does tell us why she thinks this

-Michael says that he likes to be her stereotypical "straight friend" and Fiona said that she has told Kayla (???) that he was "an ally"

-Jeremy turns to Jack and says "You and me, we're nothin'" and Jack says (without conviction I might add) that they are "just assholes" while Michael and Fiona touch hands from across the table

-Jack says that he is "just the father who doesn't actually have kids" and that he has too many animals

-Jeremy calls himself "a big nothing" in a gratuitous display of self-flagellation. Fiona answers this with "Good for you"

-Jack shills their merch

-Apparently a bug made it's way into Fiona's drink and she forgot and swallowed it by mistake

-Fiona happily exclaims that she killed 3 flies during the duration of the podcast, Michael says that the endeavor made her look insane

-Jack pulls the rainbow Jacket up on his phone and everyone cheers

-Jeremy says he has a beetle infestation in his home. Fiona tells him that he should burn down his house as a solution

-Fiona is enamored with the fact that she accidently swallowed a bug

-Fiona says that she is scared of bugs but likes ladybugs

-Fiona says "I might never be back here". Michael asks if it was her choice and she says that "No, they're kicking me out"

-Michael is going to do a Let's Watch style stream (and possible recording) of Resident Evil 8 with Matt and Lindsay

-Jack says something about AH made elusive target missions in Hitman 3. Fiona pretends to be very excited about this

-Fiona reaches over and smacks Jeremy lightly on the head with the her stolen (and by their standards heavily soiled) mask

-Fiona says that she "Just wants to fuck around." Jack says that he wants to share a (literal, I thought he meant the bbq restaurant at first) salt lick with everyone. Fiona thinks that is weird

-Fiona stands up and hops about for her white masters for a last and final time and the podcast comes to an end

-Final count of Fiona's preening instances: 82+ in the span of ~1.5 hours

i don't know what kind of autism you have that drives you to do this but i enjoy it.
 

Tom Honks

kiwifarms.net
More info behind the spoiler, but it appears that due to Fiona's overindulgence in alcohol Rooster Teeth has made the decision to impose a 2-drink limit for their employees and also Fiona is being expelled from RT and is not allowed back on the podcast.
-Michael, Jeremy, Jack and Fiona are on this episode

-The lights are dimmed for some reason

-Fiona starts clapping for no reason

-Jack pretends to be confused about whether or not he should clap in an attempt to be funny

-Fiona is a parrot

-Jack has long hair and I think it looks stupid

-Jack tries to do some stupid bit where he and Fiona are news anchors. Fiona waves her hand and says something about racoons

-Michael's hair is also long (and somewhat reminiscent of Carrot Top)

-They cut to another set with some beach chairs on it. Fiona says that that is where she is going to black out

-Michael reveals that the lighting is different because the set has been moved

-Fiona says that the lighting makes her look "villainous"

-Jack describes her as a less mean version of Cruella de Vil

-Fiona is so loud and obnoxious. I have always actively avoided everything she was in because of this but my god it is so bad. The loud (and seemingly unprompted) outbursts are already getting to me.

-Michael says that what Jack said was stupid. Fiona responds with "He did his best mikey!" in a childish tone. Jack agrees

-Jack says that Fiona just spit in his beer

-Fiona responds with "whatever" and that she tested negative for covid

-They waffle on about how many precautions they are still taking against covid while Fiona talks about an indiscernible topic while waving her arms around

-Fiona says "I've got my dipeys on"

-Jeremy says that he had never "had his brain poked" until recently and didn't think it was that bad

-Fiona keeps talking over everyone without saying anything

-Jeremy did not know where to go to get tested for covid. Jack asks if he wandered into 'Queer Eye'. Jack then stops the conversation to clarify that it "wasn't some weird non-sequitur" and that they are filming that show nearby

-Michael tells a story about mistakenly getting in line to get a covid vaccine (he meant to get in line to be tested, I guess they do that in the parking lot). He says that he would be willing to get a third vaccine shot

-Fiona reminds of the absurdity of all of this by saying that everyone at RT has been vaccinated

-Jack the Giant Faggot goes on a soap box about the vaccine and says that we will never reach herd immunity

-The dynamic between Jack and Fiona is fucking weird. She says that Jack is a good influence and he tells her that he missed her

-Jeremy makes a joke about getting a microchip implanted into his body to track his location

-Fiona keeps touching her hair for seemingly no reason

-Michael shills there shitty t-shirts

-Fiona tells a boring story about listening to face jam while driving. Jack pretends that it was interesting and asks questions

-Fiona is a ditzy retard. She is so ugly when she laughs (which is a lot) and her eyes are blank and bovine in aspect

-Jeremy and Michael talk about streaming

-Jack says that they are flies everywhere on set

-Jack acknowledges that Ky is in the chat. Someone in chat asks when Ky is joining AH and Jack says that she already has. Fiona says that she does not know what is going on and that that was a weird question

-Jack asks Fiona a question about twitter because she is "the resident young person". The two disagree and have a very animated exchange about it. Jack drops the subject, calling it an "old man rant"

-Michael says that he had some fruit drink for the first time recently and Fiona is enamored with the subject

-Fiona is a parrot again

-Michael makes up a catchphrase for the drink but says that the company would not be willing to pay him for it. Everyone agrees

-Fiona takes what seems like several minutes to say that she recently introduced a friend to aforementioned drink

-Jack says that Fiona is responsible to bringing the drink to California

-Fiona starts talking about another drink and Jeremy reminds her that they are not sponsored by the company that makes it

-Fiona wants to make a statement to some company that makes drinks and Jack directs her to which camera to look at, despite the fact that she was looking at said camera. She tells Jack to stop and there is dead air while she stops talking to take a drink of her beer. Fiona praises the drink and they've said the name of it like 10+ in the past few minutes, I believe that they are being paid to talk about it

-Michael does not like grapefruit

-Fiona talks about Fruit Ninja and Jack pretends to not know what it is

-Jack tells Fiona that they did an episode of Immersion based around Fruit Ninja. Fiona responds with "What's Immersion?"

-They turn on a light and it makes Fiona self-conscious. In response Michael looks off set and says "What the hell is the matter with you?" in a serious tone

-Michael asks Fiona why she keeps touching her glasses and she erupts into a fit of nervous laughter

-Jeremy says that they are only allowed to have two drinks and Fiona talks about a recent email that was sent to her about this

-Fiona says that she always plans on blacking out when on the podcast and that she does not care for her safety

-Michael says that Fiona was once so drunk that she had to be carried off set. Fiona denies this

-Michael says that Fiona is the reason that the two drink limit was imposed

-Michael says that he is having fun and he actually seems to be

-Fiona keeps looking off set. She might just be bored but I suspect that she is looking at a nearby monitor to see what she looks like on camera. She has readjusted her hair/shirt/glasses at least 14 times in past ~20 minutes (I started to keep track because she is doing it so much)

-Jack says that the AH crew "could be funnier" and Fiona disagrees. Someone off set gives what Jeremy describes as "a solid yeah" in response

-Michael asks Fiona about a stream she did and she can not be bothered to talk about it

-Jack talks about some stream/video where he sang a 'Reel Big Fish' with Bruce from Funhaus. Jack has told this story in the past and it's just as stupid now as it was then

-Jeremy says that Eric got banned from Twitch for streaming AEW (or something like that)

-Fiona nervously wrings her hands

-Fiona is a parrot again. I am going to stop pointing this out because it happens too often

-Jeremy gives a forced laugh but then abruptly stops

-Michael tells a story about the spam filter on his phone and his laughter is also forced

-Fiona says that she never answers phone numbers she does not recognize. Michael says that he cannot do that because he is "an actual adult"

-I am more certain that Fiona is literally just staring at herself on an off camera monitor because she comments on how dark the set looks

-Fiona says that she like "bits" and that they are fun but does not reference any 'bit's that she likes

-The conversation continues and the use of the word 'bit' continues to the point of semantic satiation

-Jack says that Fiona leaving AH was just a bit, I cannot tell if he is being serious. I don't understand what anyone is trying to say at this point

-Fiona talks about doing fortnite dances and Michael says (presumably to reassure her) that she doesn't even have to do the dances correctly, but can just "wiggle" instead

-Fiona says that she has "been doing hops", which prompts Michael to say that Fiona has been "killing it". They cut to a camera that shows Fiona's feet and she does a few hops while sayin "Mikey LOOK!". Everyone praises her for this

-Michael says that the hopping requires "years of practice"

-Fiona says that she regularly interrupts Michael's conversations so she can hop for him

-Jack asks Fiona about tiktok but is sure to ask if he can talk about it first. Fiona responds with "I've just been talkin'" and leaves it at that

-Jack presses Fiona for an answer to his question and she waffles on about a tiktok pose

-Fiona unkowingly describes the state of Rooster Teeth

-Jack says that he assumes that other people 'tune him out'. Fiona seems to want to reassure him that that is not the case but just sounds confused and bored

-Michael says that he noticed that Fiona was getting upset when Jack was "talking at her", which prompts Jack to ask her in a somewhat worried tone "Are you not happy that I'm here?"

-Jack says that he and Fiona were supposed to go to disneyworld together and she has no idea what he is talking about. They work it out and Fiona says that she can "crash on her couch" when they go there.

-There is a persistent noise from somewhere off set that Fiona keeps talking about. Both Michael and Jeremy tell her to just tune it out several times

-Michael says in regards to covid that in the past year "nothing has changed"

-Michael brings up Fiona's stupid hopping again

-Jack talks about AH pajamas and there is a silence because everyone realizes that they weren't supposed to talk about the pajamas

-"I was jus- I was just wanted to say something very. I was just gonna say I was just gonna say that um, I... I um had such a great time, spending like just spending time with everyone"-Fiona, talking about filming some show

-Jack pulls out a ziplock bag that contains masks that have the logo of his silly little roller coaster show. The masks are already in plastic packaging, so they must have been put in the ziplock bag 'for safety reasons'

-Fiona remarks on the fact that she is putting on one of the masks without permission and Jeremy interjects with a firm "That's yours now!"

-Someone (they say the name Sarah) texted Michael because she was upset with some aspect of the podcast. He does not say what it is but he shows everyone his phone. Fiona looks particularly surprised and says "What the fuck is happening?" and Michael and Jeremy firmly say "Nothing."

-Michael makes a point to got get a drink of water

-Jack dislikes cucumber water

-Michael says he likes cucumber yogurt and talks about meal kits, Fiona looks bored

-Fiona tries to swat at a fly and Jack pretends that it is funny

-There is a moment where Fiona goes to say something but stops abruptly, which causes the conversation to instantly stop and everyone turns their heads in unison to look at Fiona

-Fiona, to Michael: "Baby likes his cucumber water!" Michael agrees and makes baby noises

-"What?" -Fiona, in response to a simple question about a statement she had just made

-Fiona says that she is very appreciative of Michael for doing "the baby bit" and that it started because they were yelling baby noises at each other on a stream once

-Michael says that he is going to get more water and walks off set

-Jack tells Fiona that he is getting into soccer. She shakes her head and puts her hand up in exasperation and says "awesome" in a bored tone

-Fiona says she is European

-Jack asks her something specific about soccer and she waves her dismissively and says "No I don't know what that is". Jack pretends that he is not upset at this but clearly is

-Fiona says that she does not watch soccer any more but gets excited for the World Cup

-Jack tells her about an upcoming local soccer game. Fiona asks if he is inviting her to go with him and he says he is but clearly does not want to even go himself

-Fiona wanted party hats for the podcast but could not figure out how to acquire them

-They shill some spring event thing they are doing

-Fiona says that something that Michael said was smart and says "look at you mikey!"

-Fiona says "flied" in place of the word "flew" and acts dismissive when she is corrected

-Jeremy mentions that he likes teleprompters and Fiona agrees, repeating the word 'teleprompter' while staring at herself off screen while fiddling with her hair. She has been adjusting some aspect of her appearance nearly once a minute, I have counted 39 instances of this and I am only at ~46 minutes. The camera hasn't even been on her the whole time either

-Jeremy had flight trouble

-Jeremy met an eccentric old veteran during his flight and the story is actually amusing. It starts around 49 minutes in if anyone is interested

-Fiona says that she does not miss not leaving her house

-Fiona often has conversations with (ok with is a strong word, the say things to her I guess would be more apt) uber drivers about how much Austin has changed in the past 6 years. She says "That shit is so stupid." She is the only one that has used any curse words so far

-Jeremy recently had a misunderstanding with an uber driver and feels bad about it

-Fiona says that she thinks that it is funny that uber has a system in place to rate drivers/passengers and that she "should check it out"

-Fiona is often very, very drunk when calling an uber and often gets very loud during the rides

-Fiona notices that someone in chat said something about a handjob and initially thought the person was talking about her

-Jeremy says he could give a very good handjob

-Fiona says that giving handjobs in Dallas would be an "awesome time" and then bites her bottom lip

-Fiona thinks it is very funny/interesting that 3 separate RT employees were picked up by drivers who were driving mustangs. She is very animated about it

-Fiona says she does not know what mustangs are and pantomimes driving and makes engine noises

-Fiona says something stupid (although she might've just misspoke) and Jeremy corrects her. She stops herself and says (in a very childish tone I might add) that she does not want to continue her story because she feels stupid. Everyone stops and tries to encourage her to tell her story (Jack in particular)

-Fiona makes a big deal out of going to get a second beer. She does not know where they are and Michael has to tell her that they are not under the table so she should stop looking there

-Jack again tries to tell a story to get Fiona to actually talk about something and she stonewalls him again and cackles nervously

-Michael asks about the story and this cause Fiona to become very animated and say something about otters. Michael asks if that was part of Jacks story, he says it was not

-Fiona expresses doubts that she would be able to get tickets into disneyworld, Jack says that "we can make it happen." Fiona says that she is willing to give handjobs in exchange for the tickets. Michael suggests that she ask Jeremy to give the handjobs for her

-Fiona says that she likes to travel with Jack because "everyone recognizes him" and says that they look like a father/daughter when it happens

-Fiona says that when she is recognized it's only when traveling with Jack and they always say "Oh, you're here too". The camera cuts to the Michael/Jeremy angle and it was very clear that they had no idea what to say

-Fiona says that she is going to stop "nerding out." She has literally not expressed anything more than a superficial interest in anything other than fruity alcoholic drinks, handjobs, and preening (up to 54 times now).

-Fiona tells a story about going to some race and it sounds like she is 13 years old

-Michael makes reference to a movie based on something Fiona says. She responds with "What the fuck are you talking about?" but then she realizes that she has seen the movie he was referencing. She starts to waffle on about it but she doesn't actually know much of anything about the movie

-Fiona tells us that she has never been sexually attracted to cars

-Michael talks about the movie because he has a brain and remembers things. Fiona says that she does not remember the movie

-Fiona says "Lightning McQueen crocs" as if she wants to talk about them. Michael prompts her to do so and Jack asks her several questions about them. Fiona does not acknowledge either of them, repeats the phrase, turns to the camera, makes some stupid gesture

-Fiona repeats herself again and Jack continues to ask her about the crocs. She says "I'm talking about the shoes!" While staring at herself off screen and straightens her shirt out again. She then asks if she is allowed to "go way off topic because that's what the show's called". Jack says "I'm done, I've lost her"

-Jack mentions that Fiona is on her second beer. She tells him to leave her alone and Michael whiteknights for her. Jack apologizes and brings up the first bell, which then rings

-Michael thinks that Jacks hair makes him look like Jeff Bridges but that he is not as good looking. Jack says that Jeff is handsome

-Jack has to tell Fiona to finish her story. She says that she saw some guy on a billboard that reminded her of Jeremy (which is unrelated) and then she finally gets along with it

-I want to say that she told her story but that would be going too far I think. Something about a croc store in New York that is green and has holes in it that she never went inside of and she was wondering if it was still upon given quarantine

-Fiona says that New York is dead. Michael asks her what that means and she says she was there to see family in December and that it was "Just... Dead." Jack points out that of course it seemed that way given covid (he mentions the vaccine specifically) and she does not listen or care

-Fiona says she has "so many stories" about some train in New York (she lived there for 12 years). Jack asks for one story from her and the first thing that comes to her mind are stories about seeing rats

-Fiona says she has "seen everything"

-Jack says that Fiona is spoiled and she gets a look of incredulity on her face and asks what he means. Michael and Jeremy yell for no reason and Michael starts chanting "nut, nut, nut" and tells Jeremy to press the "nut button". There is a defeated look on Jack's face while Fiona Happily says that it sounds like it says 'not' instead of nut

-Jeremy takes out hand sanitizer and uses some after pressing the button

-Fiona likes squirting

-Fiona almost hits Jack in the face while swatting at flies and he seems upset about it. Fiona tells him it is ok

-Michael is very happy to see people again

-Fiona notices that the camera cut to her so she turns toward it

-Jeremy said quarantine made him fat but he worked it off

-Fiona yells "Mikey's wearing skinny jeans!" and demands that he stand up and show them. He does and she is enamored

-Michael says that he was fat when they filmed Dead Little Roosters

-Jack is trying to get back into his 'running kick'

-Jeremy says that he does a lot of hiking in the woods/mountains near his house (looking for his cat obviously but he didn't say it). He mentions getting lost in the woods, combined with his weird microchip joke from earlier I'd say that the cat still weighs heavily on his mind

-Michael needs to go to the bathroom. He wanted to wait but can't and Fiona says that she is in favor of him "going peepee"

-Fiona "what do you mean spoiled?" Nova says that she has ridden over 80% of the roller coasters in this country

-Fiona says that she did not know that Idaho existed until recently

-Fiona puts on the mask that she stole earlier

-Jack talks about talking to someone on twitter and Fiona talks about how great it is to be verified on twitter

-Jack continues his story but Fiona acts as though he doesn't even exist and talks to Jeremy instead

-Fiona makes a big deal out of Jack briefly talking to Ken Moreno for some reason

-Jeremy talks about some guy (who he still follows on twitter) that worked at disneyworld and recognized him. Fiona insists that he send her a link to the guy's twitter but only after Jeremy reveals that he gave Jeremy a stack of fast-pass tickets to avoid the lines

-Fiona wants to tell a roller coaster story but she is told by everyone that she is only allowed to tell one

-Her story was that she almost passed out on a roller coaster one time

-Fiona will not let Jack finish his thought about a roller coaster that he brought up and dredges up her story again

-She continues to talk over Jack because "roller coasters are SOOOO COOL lMAO"

-Fiona says "Anyways, I'm done" and Jack says "Ok, Fiona's done with annual pass". This tells me that she was told to talk about it and Jack is acknowledging that she talked about it and it's over (he wants the podcast to end is what I'm implying).

-Fiona asks Michael how his "peepee" went and tells him that he left his mike on when he went to the bathroom

-Fiona continues her childish antics of trying to catch flies from the air

-Fiona says "I'm not a light-weight, I just enjoy things." She is likely talking to chat because contextually that makes no sense

-Fiona says that she is fun and Michael agrees

-Jack (who looks quite dejected) says that there is a beeping noise that is going to drive him insane

-Michael says that he was told to talk about their "pride merch"

-Fiona says that she forgot to bring the shirt she was supposed to show off

-Fiona talks over Jeremy to tell us that she is gay but interrupts herself to try to catch a fly from the air

-Michael compares Alfredo's nipples to Hershey kisses

-Jack says that he thinks that most RT content is stupid

-Fiona insists that everyone is "a little gay"

-Michael says that Fiona "was assigning him gay points" because he talked about Zac Efron

-Fiona explains what Michael was talking about without actually explaining what she was doing but then stops talking and gets visibly annoyed when Jack says something to her

-She responds with "I understand where you're coming from..." and then puts on her stolen mask and turns away from him (toward the camera of course)

-She calls Jack a nerd. He starts to explain that he is a nerd and then she talks over him some more so he lets it go. She talks about Michael being a bit gay again but doesn't actually say anything. She again insists that everyone has innate gayness but does tell us why she thinks this

-Michael says that he likes to be her stereotypical "straight friend" and Fiona said that she has told Kayla (???) that he was "an ally"

-Jeremy turns to Jack and says "You and me, we're nothin'" and Jack says (without conviction I might add) that they are "just assholes" while Michael and Fiona touch hands from across the table

-Jack says that he is "just the father who doesn't actually have kids" and that he has too many animals

-Jeremy calls himself "a big nothing" in a gratuitous display of self-flagellation. Fiona answers this with "Good for you"

-Jack shills their merch

-Apparently a bug made it's way into Fiona's drink and she forgot and swallowed it by mistake

-Fiona happily exclaims that she killed 3 flies during the duration of the podcast, Michael says that the endeavor made her look insane

-Jack pulls the rainbow Jacket up on his phone and everyone cheers

-Jeremy says he has a beetle infestation in his home. Fiona tells him that he should burn down his house as a solution

-Fiona is enamored with the fact that she accidently swallowed a bug

-Fiona says that she is scared of bugs but likes ladybugs

-Fiona says "I might never be back here". Michael asks if it was her choice and she says that "No, they're kicking me out"

-Michael is going to do a Let's Watch style stream (and possible recording) of Resident Evil 8 with Matt and Lindsay

-Jack says something about AH made elusive target missions in Hitman 3. Fiona pretends to be very excited about this

-Fiona reaches over and smacks Jeremy lightly on the head with the her stolen (and by their standards heavily soiled) mask

-Fiona says that she "Just wants to fuck around." Jack says that he wants to share a (literal, I thought he meant the bbq restaurant at first) salt lick with everyone. Fiona thinks that is weird

-Fiona stands up and hops about for her white masters for a last and final time and the podcast comes to an end

-Final count of Fiona's preening instances: 82+ in the span of ~1.5 hours
Jeremy and Michael mention Eric bardour getting banned and reference a Twitter account that just announces people who are banned. All the while they act like they don’t what the account is which is kinda funny cause they all cheered and clapped when it announced that Ryan Haywood was banned. So why would they act like they don’t know the Twitter account
 

Insalubrious

Edit: a word
kiwifarms.net
i don't know what kind of autism you have that drives you to do this but i enjoy it.
I don't mean to powerlevel but I have memories of watching old AH content on school laptops in study hall back in high school. Seeing them bend over backwards to cater to the whims of such an obnoxious and abhorrent person like this is just so singularly bizarre. Especially the bit where they set up a special camera pointed at her feet so she could jump for them, and the fervent admiration they expressed for it. It felt like they were watching their pet nigger dance for them.

Edit: I've just remembered that I screengrabbed a particularly ugly still of Fiona from the podcast so I will add it to this post
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Übertroon

Gotta go fast
kiwifarms.net
Jeremy and Michael mention Eric bardour getting banned and reference a Twitter account that just announces people who are banned. All the while they act like they don’t what the account is which is kinda funny cause they all cheered and clapped when it announced that Ryan Haywood was banned. So why would they act like they don’t know the Twitter account
Almost makes me want to sympathize with Haywood, almost

It makes it a lot easier to forget about him as he was fully onboard with the woke virtue signaling until it was revealed he cheated on his wife with teenaged fans
 

Chilson

kiwifarms.net
While we're on the topic of Fiona, just wanted to check in on her special youtube video she's making. Turns out she raised over $55,000 (and I'll repeat myself, that is for a 10 minute YouTube video). And it took them less than a week to shoot it, so you knows its quality.
You just had to say Fiona was associated with it to tell its "quality".
 

Bookmark Cuck

Only mostly Jewish.
kiwifarms.net
Fiona might just be the human embodiment of Desperation.

Not the kind you shrug and take home and closing time but the kind that tries and does nothing but try to be popular to be wanted to be funny to be cool. It's just the worst kind of person you could hire for the position she's in and proof positive that there is no oversite from WB on Achivement Hunter or they never would have hired her.
 

James Roancrest

kiwifarms.net
Fiona might just be the human embodiment of Desperation.

Not the kind you shrug and take home and closing time but the kind that tries and does nothing but try to be popular to be wanted to be funny to be cool. It's just the worst kind of person you could hire for the position she's in and proof positive that there is no oversite from WB on Achivement Hunter or they never would have hired her.
Honestly, the fact that WB bought RT was proof that there is no oversight at WB.
 

Disc

I want my cringe New Years Announcement, dammit.
kiwifarms.net
But being the voice of Ruby Rose is the more lucrative gig at the moment, regardless of she’s good at it or not.

ETA to avoid a double post: I know this saga shows up every few months, but this is still a special level of pathetic.
Honestly, this video in particular touches on the biggest thing about the saga when the hosts talk about how they don't see any organisation that benefits from taking Rooster Teeth.

I fully believe that, once every couple of months, WB makes the rounds, looking for someone to sell this dead piece of media to. They just can't because nobody stands to benefit from gaining a bunch of podcasts and a shitty animation division.
 

Chilson

kiwifarms.net
Honestly, this video in particular touches on the biggest thing about the saga when the hosts talk about how they don't see any organisation that benefits from taking Rooster Teeth.

I fully believe that, once every couple of months, WB makes the rounds, looking for someone to sell this dead piece of media to. They just can't because nobody stands to benefit from gaining a bunch of podcasts and a shitty animation division.
The issue with selling this kind of organization is your buying a past its prime, frankly rotten, brand and a bunch of employees you could individually court for far cheaper prices.

There is no logic to buying this hunk of crap. Honestly, WB should just shitcan it because its clearly not doing well financially and WB is not in a particularly good situation itself to afford to take on their debts.
 

pephickshigh

kiwifarms.net
More info behind the spoiler, but it appears that due to Fiona's overindulgence in alcohol Rooster Teeth has made the decision to impose a 2-drink limit for their employees and also Fiona is being expelled from RT and is not allowed back on the podcast.
-Michael, Jeremy, Jack and Fiona are on this episode

-The lights are dimmed for some reason

-Fiona starts clapping for no reason

-Jack pretends to be confused about whether or not he should clap in an attempt to be funny

-Fiona is a parrot

-Jack has long hair and I think it looks stupid

-Jack tries to do some stupid bit where he and Fiona are news anchors. Fiona waves her hand and says something about racoons

-Michael's hair is also long (and somewhat reminiscent of Carrot Top)

-They cut to another set with some beach chairs on it. Fiona says that that is where she is going to black out

-Michael reveals that the lighting is different because the set has been moved

-Fiona says that the lighting makes her look "villainous"

-Jack describes her as a less mean version of Cruella de Vil

-Fiona is so loud and obnoxious. I have always actively avoided everything she was in because of this but my god it is so bad. The loud (and seemingly unprompted) outbursts are already getting to me.

-Michael says that what Jack said was stupid. Fiona responds with "He did his best mikey!" in a childish tone. Jack agrees

-Jack says that Fiona just spit in his beer

-Fiona responds with "whatever" and that she tested negative for covid

-They waffle on about how many precautions they are still taking against covid while Fiona talks about an indiscernible topic while waving her arms around

-Fiona says "I've got my dipeys on"

-Jeremy says that he had never "had his brain poked" until recently and didn't think it was that bad

-Fiona keeps talking over everyone without saying anything

-Jeremy did not know where to go to get tested for covid. Jack asks if he wandered into 'Queer Eye'. Jack then stops the conversation to clarify that it "wasn't some weird non-sequitur" and that they are filming that show nearby

-Michael tells a story about mistakenly getting in line to get a covid vaccine (he meant to get in line to be tested, I guess they do that in the parking lot). He says that he would be willing to get a third vaccine shot

-Fiona reminds of the absurdity of all of this by saying that everyone at RT has been vaccinated

-Jack the Giant Faggot goes on a soap box about the vaccine and says that we will never reach herd immunity

-The dynamic between Jack and Fiona is fucking weird. She says that Jack is a good influence and he tells her that he missed her

-Jeremy makes a joke about getting a microchip implanted into his body to track his location

-Fiona keeps touching her hair for seemingly no reason

-Michael shills there shitty t-shirts

-Fiona tells a boring story about listening to face jam while driving. Jack pretends that it was interesting and asks questions

-Fiona is a ditzy retard. She is so ugly when she laughs (which is a lot) and her eyes are blank and bovine in aspect

-Jeremy and Michael talk about streaming

-Jack says that they are flies everywhere on set

-Jack acknowledges that Ky is in the chat. Someone in chat asks when Ky is joining AH and Jack says that she already has. Fiona says that she does not know what is going on and that that was a weird question

-Jack asks Fiona a question about twitter because she is "the resident young person". The two disagree and have a very animated exchange about it. Jack drops the subject, calling it an "old man rant"

-Michael says that he had some fruit drink for the first time recently and Fiona is enamored with the subject

-Fiona is a parrot again

-Michael makes up a catchphrase for the drink but says that the company would not be willing to pay him for it. Everyone agrees

-Fiona takes what seems like several minutes to say that she recently introduced a friend to aforementioned drink

-Jack says that Fiona is responsible to bringing the drink to California

-Fiona starts talking about another drink and Jeremy reminds her that they are not sponsored by the company that makes it

-Fiona wants to make a statement to some company that makes drinks and Jack directs her to which camera to look at, despite the fact that she was looking at said camera. She tells Jack to stop and there is dead air while she stops talking to take a drink of her beer. Fiona praises the drink and they've said the name of it like 10+ in the past few minutes, I believe that they are being paid to talk about it

-Michael does not like grapefruit

-Fiona talks about Fruit Ninja and Jack pretends to not know what it is

-Jack tells Fiona that they did an episode of Immersion based around Fruit Ninja. Fiona responds with "What's Immersion?"

-They turn on a light and it makes Fiona self-conscious. In response Michael looks off set and says "What the hell is the matter with you?" in a serious tone

-Michael asks Fiona why she keeps touching her glasses and she erupts into a fit of nervous laughter

-Jeremy says that they are only allowed to have two drinks and Fiona talks about a recent email that was sent to her about this

-Fiona says that she always plans on blacking out when on the podcast and that she does not care for her safety

-Michael says that Fiona was once so drunk that she had to be carried off set. Fiona denies this

-Michael says that Fiona is the reason that the two drink limit was imposed

-Michael says that he is having fun and he actually seems to be

-Fiona keeps looking off set. She might just be bored but I suspect that she is looking at a nearby monitor to see what she looks like on camera. She has readjusted her hair/shirt/glasses at least 14 times in past ~20 minutes (I started to keep track because she is doing it so much)

-Jack says that the AH crew "could be funnier" and Fiona disagrees. Someone off set gives what Jeremy describes as "a solid yeah" in response

-Michael asks Fiona about a stream she did and she can not be bothered to talk about it

-Jack talks about some stream/video where he sang a 'Reel Big Fish' with Bruce from Funhaus. Jack has told this story in the past and it's just as stupid now as it was then

-Jeremy says that Eric got banned from Twitch for streaming AEW (or something like that)

-Fiona nervously wrings her hands

-Fiona is a parrot again. I am going to stop pointing this out because it happens too often

-Jeremy gives a forced laugh but then abruptly stops

-Michael tells a story about the spam filter on his phone and his laughter is also forced

-Fiona says that she never answers phone numbers she does not recognize. Michael says that he cannot do that because he is "an actual adult"

-I am more certain that Fiona is literally just staring at herself on an off camera monitor because she comments on how dark the set looks

-Fiona says that she like "bits" and that they are fun but does not reference any bits that she likes

-The conversation continues and the use of the word 'bit' continues to the point of semantic satiation

-Jack says that Fiona leaving AH was just a bit, I cannot tell if he is being serious. I don't understand what anyone is trying to say at this point

-Fiona talks about doing fortnite dances and Michael says (presumably to reassure her) that she doesn't even have to do the dances correctly, but can just "wiggle" instead

-Fiona says that she has "been doing hops", which prompts Michael to say that Fiona has been "killing it". They cut to a camera that shows Fiona's feet and she does a few hops while saying "Mikey LOOK!". Everyone praises her for this

-Michael says that the hopping requires "years of practice"

-Fiona says that she regularly interrupts Michael's conversations so she can hop for him

-Jack asks Fiona about tiktok but is sure to ask if he can talk about it first. Fiona responds with "I've just been talkin'" and leaves it at that

-Jack presses Fiona for an answer to his question and she waffles on about a tiktok pose

-Fiona unknowingly describes the state of Rooster Teeth

-Jack says that he assumes that other people 'tune him out'. Fiona seems to want to reassure him that that is not the case but just sounds confused and bored

-Michael says that he noticed that Fiona was getting upset when Jack was "talking at her", which prompts Jack to ask her in a somewhat worried tone "Are you not happy that I'm here?"

-Jack says that he and Fiona were supposed to go to disneyworld together and she has no idea what he is talking about. They work it out and Fiona says that he can "crash on her couch" when they go there.

-There is a persistent noise from somewhere off set that Fiona keeps talking about. Both Michael and Jeremy tell her to just tune it out several times

-Michael says in regards to covid that in the past year "nothing has changed"

-Michael brings up Fiona's stupid hopping again

-Jack talks about AH pajamas and there is a silence because everyone realizes that they weren't supposed to talk about the pajamas

-"I was jus- I was just wanted to say something very. I was just gonna say I was just gonna say that um, I... I um had such a great time, spending like just spending time with everyone"-Fiona, talking about filming some show

-Jack pulls out a ziplock bag that contains masks that have the logo of his silly little roller coaster show. The masks are already in plastic packaging, so they must have been put in the ziplock bag 'for safety reasons'

-Fiona remarks on the fact that she is putting on one of the masks without permission and Jeremy interjects with a firm "That's yours now!"

-Someone (they say the name Sarah) texted Michael because she was upset with some aspect of the podcast. He does not say what it is but he shows everyone his phone. Fiona looks particularly surprised and says "What the fuck is happening?" and Michael and Jeremy firmly say "Nothing."

-Michael makes a point to got get a drink of water

-Jack dislikes cucumber water

-Michael says he likes cucumber yogurt and talks about meal kits, Fiona looks bored

-Fiona tries to swat at a fly and Jack pretends that it is funny

-There is a moment where Fiona goes to say something but stops abruptly, which causes the conversation to instantly stop and everyone turns their heads in unison to look at Fiona

-Fiona, to Michael: "Baby likes his cucumber yogurt!" Michael agrees and makes baby noises

-"What?" -Fiona, in response to a simple question about a statement she had just made

-Fiona says that she is very appreciative of Michael for doing "the baby bit" and that it started because they were yelling baby noises at each other on a stream once

-Michael says that he is going to get more water and walks off set

-Jack tells Fiona that he is getting into soccer. She shakes her head and puts her hand up in exasperation and says "awesome" in a bored tone

-Fiona says she is European

-Jack asks her something specific about soccer and she waves her dismissively and says "No I don't know what that is". Jack pretends that he is not upset at this but clearly is

-Fiona says that she does not watch soccer any more but gets excited for the World Cup

-Jack tells her about an upcoming local soccer game. Fiona asks if he is inviting her to go with him and he says he is but clearly does not want to even go himself

-Fiona wanted party hats for the podcast but could not figure out how to acquire them

-They shill some spring event thing they are doing

-Fiona says that something that Michael said was smart and says "look at you mikey!"

-Fiona says "flied" in place of the word "flew" and acts dismissive when she is corrected

-Jeremy mentions that he likes teleprompters and Fiona agrees, repeating the word 'teleprompter' while staring at herself off screen while fiddling with her hair. She has been adjusting some aspect of her appearance nearly once a minute, I have counted 39 instances of this and I am only at ~46 minutes. The camera hasn't even been on her the whole time either

-Jeremy had flight trouble

-Jeremy met an eccentric old veteran during his flight and the story is actually amusing. It starts around 49 minutes in if anyone is interested

-Fiona says that she does not miss not leaving her house

-Fiona often has conversations with (ok with is a strong word, they say things to her I guess would be more apt) uber drivers about how much Austin has changed in the past 6 years. She says "That shit is so stupid." She is the only one that has used any curse words so far

-Jeremy recently had a misunderstanding with an uber driver and feels bad about it

-Fiona says that she thinks that it is funny that uber has a system in place to rate drivers/passengers and that she "should check it out"

-Fiona is often very, very drunk when calling an uber and often gets very loud during the rides

-Fiona notices that someone in chat said something about a handjob and initially thought the person was talking about her

-Jeremy says he could give a very good handjob

-Fiona says that giving handjobs in Dallas would be an "awesome time" and then bites her bottom lip

-Fiona thinks it is very funny/interesting that 3 separate RT employees were picked up by drivers who were driving mustangs. She is very animated about it

-Fiona says she does not know what mustangs are and pantomimes driving and makes engine noises

-Fiona says something stupid (although she might've just misspoke) and Jeremy corrects her. She stops herself and says (in a very childish tone I might add) that she does not want to continue her story because she feels stupid. Everyone stops and tries to encourage her to tell her story (Jack in particular)

-Fiona makes a big deal out of going to get a second beer. She does not know where they are and Michael has to tell her that they are not under the table so she should stop looking there

-Jack again tries to tell a story to get Fiona to actually talk about something and she stonewalls him again and cackles nervously

-Michael asks about the story and this cause Fiona to become very animated and say something about otters. Michael asks if that was part of Jacks story, he says it was not

-Fiona expresses doubts that she would be able to get tickets into disneyworld, Jack says that "we can make it happen." Fiona says that she is willing to give handjobs in exchange for the tickets. Michael suggests that she ask Jeremy to give the handjobs for her

-Fiona says that she likes to travel with Jack because "everyone recognizes him" and says that they look like a father/daughter when it happens

-Fiona says that when she is recognized it's only when traveling with Jack and they always say "Oh, you're here too". The camera cuts to the Michael/Jeremy angle and it was very clear that they had no idea what to say

-Fiona says that she is going to stop "nerding out." She has literally not expressed anything more than a superficial interest in anything other than fruity alcoholic drinks, handjobs, and preening (up to 54 times now).

-Fiona tells a story about going to some race and it sounds like she is 13 years old

-Michael makes reference to a movie based on something Fiona says. She responds with "What the fuck are you talking about?" but then she realizes that she has seen the movie he was referencing. She starts to waffle on about it but she doesn't actually know much of anything about the movie

-Fiona tells us that she has never been sexually attracted to cars

-Michael talks about the movie because he has a brain and remembers things. Fiona says that she does not remember the movie

-Fiona says "Lightning McQueen crocs" as if she wants to talk about them. Michael prompts her to do so and Jack asks her several questions about them. Fiona does not acknowledge either of them, repeats the phrase, turns to the camera and makes some stupid gesture

-Fiona repeats herself again and Jack continues to ask her about the crocs. She says "I'm talking about the shoes!" While staring at herself off screen and straightens her shirt out again. She then asks if she is allowed to "go way off topic because that's what the show's called". Jack says "I'm done, I've lost her"

-Jack mentions that Fiona is on her second beer. She tells him to leave her alone and Michael whiteknights for her. Jack apologizes and brings up the first bell, which then rings

-Michael thinks that Jacks hair makes him look like Jeff Bridges but that he is not as good looking. Jack says that Jeff is handsome

-Jack has to tell Fiona to finish her story. She says that she saw some guy on a billboard that reminded her of Jeremy (which is unrelated) and then she finally gets along with it

-I want to say that she told her story but that would be going too far I think. Something about a croc store in New York that is green and has holes in it that she never went inside of and she was wondering if it was still upon given quarantine

-Fiona says that New York is dead. Michael asks her what that means and she says she was there to see family in December and that it was "Just... Dead." Jack points out that of course it seemed that way given covid (he mentions the vaccine specifically) and she does not listen or care

-Fiona says she has "so many stories" about some train in New York (she lived there for 12 years). Jack asks for one story from her and the first thing that comes to her mind are stories about seeing rats

-Fiona says she has "seen everything"

-Jack says that Fiona is spoiled and she gets a look of incredulity on her face and asks what he means. Michael and Jeremy yell for no reason and Michael starts chanting "nut, nut, nut" and tells Jeremy to press the "nut button". There is a defeated look on Jack's face while Fiona happily says that it sounds like it says 'not' instead of nut

-Jeremy takes out hand sanitizer and uses some after pressing the button

-Fiona likes squirting

-Fiona almost hits Jack in the face while swatting at flies and he seems upset about it. Fiona tells him it is ok

-Michael is very happy to see people again

-Fiona notices that the camera cut to her so she turns toward it

-Jeremy said quarantine made him fat but he worked it off

-Fiona yells "Mikey's wearing skinny jeans!" and demands that he stand up and show them. He does and she is enamored

-Michael says that he was fat when they filmed Dead Little Roosters

-Jack is trying to get back into his 'running kick'

-Jeremy says that he does a lot of hiking in the woods/mountains near his house (looking for his cat obviously but he didn't say it). He mentions getting lost in the woods, that combined with his weird microchip joke from earlier I'd say that the cat still weighs heavily on his mind

-Michael needs to go to the bathroom. He wanted to wait but can't and Fiona says that she is in favor of him "going peepee"

-Fiona "what do you mean spoiled?" Nova says that she has ridden over 80% of the roller coasters in this country

-Fiona says that she did not know that Idaho existed until recently

-Fiona puts on the mask that she stole earlier

-Jack talks about talking to someone on twitter and Fiona talks about how great it is to be verified on twitter

-Jack continues his story but Fiona acts as though he doesn't even exist and talks to Jeremy instead

-Fiona makes a big deal out of Jack briefly talking to Ken Moreno for some reason

-Jeremy talks about some guy (who he still follows on twitter) that worked at disneyworld and recognized him. Fiona insists that he send her a link to the guy's twitter but only after Jeremy reveals that he gave Jeremy a stack of fast-pass tickets to avoid the lines

-Fiona wants to tell a roller coaster story but she is told by everyone that she is only allowed to tell one

-Her story was that she almost passed out on a roller coaster one time

-Fiona will not let Jack finish his thought about a roller coaster that he brought up and dredges up her story again

-She continues to talk over Jack because "roller coasters are SOOOO COOL LMAO"

-Fiona says "Anyways, I'm done" and Jack says "Ok, Fiona's done with annual pass". This tells me that she was told to talk about it and Jack is acknowledging that she talked about it and it's over (he wants the podcast to end is what I'm implying).

-Fiona asks Michael how his "peepee" went and tells him that he left his mic on when he went to the bathroom

-Fiona continues her childish antics of trying to catch flies from the air

-Fiona says "I'm not a light-weight, I just enjoy things." She is likely talking to chat because contextually that makes no sense

-Fiona says that she is fun and Michael agrees

-Jack (who looks quite dejected) says that there is a beeping noise that is going to drive him insane

-Michael says that he was told to talk about their "pride merch"

-Fiona says that she forgot to bring the shirt she was supposed to show off

-Fiona talks over Jeremy to tell us that she is gay but interrupts herself to try to catch a fly from the air

-Michael compares Alfredo's nipples to Hershey kisses

-Jack says that he thinks that most RT content is stupid

-Fiona insists that everyone is "a little gay"

-Michael says that Fiona "was assigning him gay points" because he talked about Zac Efron

-Fiona explains what Michael was talking about without actually explaining what she was doing but then stops talking and gets visibly annoyed when Jack says something to her

-She responds with "I understand where you're coming from..." and then puts on her stolen mask and turns away from him (toward the camera of course)

-She calls Jack a nerd. He starts to explain that he is a nerd and then she talks over him some more so he lets it go. She talks about Michael being a bit gay again but doesn't actually say anything. She again insists that everyone has innate gayness but does tell us why she thinks this

-Michael says that he likes to be her stereotypical "straight friend" and Fiona says that she has told Kayla (???) that he was "an ally"

-Jeremy turns to Jack and says "You and me, we're nothin'" and Jack says (without conviction I might add) that they are "just assholes" while Michael and Fiona touch hands from across the table

-Jack says that he is "just the father who doesn't actually have kids" and that he has too many animals

-Jeremy calls himself "a big nothing" in a gratuitous display of self-flagellation. Fiona answers this with "Good for you"

-Jack shills their merch

-Apparently a bug made it's way into Fiona's drink and she forgot and swallowed it by mistake

-Fiona happily exclaims that she killed 3 flies during the duration of the podcast, Michael says that the endeavor made her look insane

-Jack pulls some rainbow Jacket up on his phone and everyone cheers

-Jeremy says he has a beetle infestation in his home. Fiona tells him that he should burn down his house as a solution

-Fiona is enamored with the fact that she accidently swallowed a bug

-Fiona says that she is scared of bugs but likes ladybugs

-Fiona says "I might never be back here". Michael asks if it was her choice and she says that "No, they're kicking me out"

-Michael is going to do a Let's Watch style stream (and possible recording) of Resident Evil 8 with Matt and Lindsay

-Jack says something about AH-made elusive target missions in Hitman 3. Fiona pretends to be very excited about this

-Fiona reaches over and smacks Jeremy lightly on the head with the her stolen (and by their standards heavily soiled) mask

-Fiona says that she "Just wants to fuck around." Jack says that he wants to share a (literal, I thought he meant the bbq restaurant at first) salt lick with everyone. Fiona thinks that is weird

-Fiona stands up and hops about for her white masters for a last and final time and the podcast comes to an end

-Final count of Fiona's preening instances: 82+ in the span of ~1.5 hours
Edit: Fixed some typos

You should post your recaps in the RT subreddit and the AH one if there is such a thing. Their reactions would be interesting at least until the post gets deleted.


Does anybody know why TikTok is such a touchy subject for them? I'm assuming it is not because the actual reason it is a problem with it being ChiCom spyware.
 

Dumpster dived waifu

Sieg heil mein waifu
kiwifarms.net
You should post your recaps in the RT subreddit and the AH one if there is such a thing. Their reactions would be interesting at least until the post gets deleted.


Does anybody know why TikTok is such a touchy subject for them? I'm assuming it is not because the actual reason it is a problem with it being ChiCom spyware.
He'd probably get banned from the subreddit for so much as hinting that Fiona isn't a hilarious gift from heaven.
 

You're an idiot

kiwifarms.net
-Fiona is a ditzy retard. She is so ugly when she laughs (which is a lot) and her eyes are blank and bovine in aspect
My man, this is why I read these. I'm dying over here.
"I was jus- I was just wanted to say something very. I was just gonna say I was just gonna say that um, I... I um had such a great time, spending like just spending time with everyone"-Fiona
Holy fucking kek I can't take it.
This episode must've been extra hard to watch, you have my respect and admiration.
 

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