Cultcow Russell Greer / @theofficialinstaofrussellgreer - Swift-Obsessed Sex Pest, Magical Star Buddy

Alec Benson Leary

Creator of Asperchu
Christorical Figure
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I think after hearing the doorbell, opening it to see Taylor in red, Russ would mumble “Baby, I’ve been waiting sooooo lon... {groan} and the date would be over.

Double Dribble
We all like to joke about inexperienced losers spraying their pants when a girl so much as looks at them but honestly, I think that only applies to excited teenagers. In the case of older cows like Russ (okay late 20s, but still), I think arousal/erectile dysfunction is much more common. Physically these people are always unhealthy from shitty diets and environmental issues, and psychologically they're never in a healthy spot either because the closest they come to intimacy when with a woman is constantly thinking of her vagina as a high score to show up Chad. It's not easy to be horny and also full of resentment/hatred at the same time.
 
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EurocopterTigre

Heliophobia will be met with 30x113mm cannon fire
True & Honest Fan
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So she's taking a break to do her duty to her country, how is that depressing?

That is, unless he assumes she's gonna die in the process, thus implying he either doesn't want to watch a woman he drools over die or that he thinks women can't serve as soldiers effectively. Or both.
I really hate to defend Russhole's assessment of anything but, while it's maybe feasible this early in the cycle, 2 weeks not actively campaigning can pretty easily kill any momentum that's been built up behind a campaign. So it's far from inconceivable that her chances at making past the primary are DOA, especially with her overall lower name recognition than Biden and Warren in a crowded and competitive primary.
 
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GethN7

True & Honest Fan
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I really hate to defend Russhole's assessment of anything but, while it's maybe feasible this early in the cycle, 2 weeks not actively campaigning can pretty easily kill any momentum that's been built up behind a campaign. So it's far from inconceivable that her chances at making past the primary DOA, especially with her overall lower name recognition than Biden and Warren in a crowded and competitive primary.
That did occur to me, but if her political campaign is remotely competent, they likely planned how to fill the void with other stuff.
 

TheGuyFromUtah

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Not giving credit to Rusty because I'm sure he has no clue, but I believe this does kill her campaign. There's two requirements that have to be completed by the end of the month to qualify for the primary Democratic debates, and she has only fulfilled one of the two.

Someone probably knows more than me, so if the above is wrong feel free to clarify. If correct it's too bad. Politics aside, if she had done well that might have really gotten some good content from Russ.
 

EurocopterTigre

Heliophobia will be met with 30x113mm cannon fire
True & Honest Fan
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That did occur to me, but if her political campaign is remotely competent, they likely planned how to fill the void with other stuff.
Name ID drops incredibly quickly, even in presidential races, unless you are constantly engaging voters (which ends up being a huge reason campaigns get as expensive as they do, it takes a lot of money to gain a few percentage points and any progress can be lost in weeks) especially as, in terms of profile, she's a tier below Sanders, Biden or Warren and her more moderate policy stances/military background mean that she enjoys less support from the more electorally active portions of the base.

Plus, while the optics of her responding to the call-up are fantastic, it's a double-edged sword. She can't be overly active on social media or with the press either, lest she be accused of shirking her duties to cynically exploiting the deployment for political gain.

I could go on, but I don't wanna clog up the thread with politisperging

We all know the real reason Russ is sad; he was hoping she'd suck him his penis and make him the Secretary of the Department of Plights and Hookers.
 

Sheherplight

Has anyone seen my tamborine?
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[head tightening intensifies]

"Taylor Swift has paid off a a struggling fan’s £4,000 tuition debt and now we want her to be President. The fan, known as Ayesha, posted on Tumblr that her parents earn minimum wage and she wasn’t going to be able to afford her college tuition for next semester. Her mother suffers from kidney disease and her family were trying to take out a loan to cover her rent and school fees. Well, it turns out Swifty heard all about her troubles because she transferred 6,386.47 Canadian dollars (£3,900) to Ayesha’s bank account."


This is gonna further trigger his PTSD and trauma lumps.
 

cogsworth

Build-A-Cow Workshop: Satan's Favorite Idiot
True & Honest Fan
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That’s actually a question. Have we ever heard of Russ trying a bar to hit on women? Or is he too good for that because he doesn’t drink?
Russ wants a Good Mormon Wife, because he thinks he's entitled to one and that it will force his community (and his parents, and his sister) to respect him and his obsessions. He believes that said good Mormon wife can be molded out of a prostitute. After all, he doesn't really believe they are prostitutes of their own free will or because they like it, but because they're downtrodden Fallen Women whom no man has ever cared about or been nice to.

A woman in a bar, on the other hand, looking for hookups and drinking, she's never going to be a Good Mormon Wife. She's useless to his plans because she's got her own ideas and she's wild and she's likes alcohol and men who don't use any wooing words or wear suits, and most of all, he can't buy her. She's not forced to be nice to him for money he gives to a man who 'owns' her.
 

RustyNail(her)

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He does not have a problem hitting on girls who WORK AT the bar, but a bar has nothing to offer him. He doesn't drink. He'd rather go to a place where they hire hot women like Hooters, a strip club, or Twin Peaks so he can hit on the employees. He feels if they don't date him it's discrimination AND bad customer service. Especially strip clubs where he feels the women are basically there to show off the goods and be bought for sex.
 

GethN7

True & Honest Fan
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He does not have a problem hitting on girls who WORK AT the bar, but a bar has nothing to offer him. He doesn't drink. He'd rather go to a place where they hire hot women like Hooters, a strip club, or Twin Peaks so he can hit on the employees. He feels if they don't date him it's discrimination AND bad customer service. Especially strip clubs where he feels the women are basically there to show off the goods and be bought for sex.
I'd honestly love to know when he got it in his head everything has a price tag and everyone has their price.

He has this obsession with thinking there is no such thing as actual principles, everything can be broken down to a discrete value, and he thinks he can haggle that down to something he can afford or what he thinks it's worth.
 
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ProgKing of the North

^^^^FUCKTARD^^^^
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I have a stupid question.

Do bars that serve liquor exist in Utah? SLC Punk taught me that you had to drive over the border for alcohol back in the day, is that still a thing?
They exist, but I’ve heard that in Provo BYU has a habit of buying up any vacant downtown real estate to make it harder for bars to locate there

I imagine in Salt Lake it’s as easy to find a bar as in any decent sized city but in Provo and smaller towns they’re quite a bit rarer. I don’t think these days that Utah’s actual liquor laws are more restrictive than, say, the Bible Belt states, but in practice in smaller towns Mormon social stigma still holds a lot of sway
 

RussianParasite

Крым наш
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I have a stupid question.

Do bars that serve liquor exist in Utah? SLC Punk taught me that you had to drive over the border for alcohol back in the day, is that still a thing?
I don't think so. Last I had checked (and it has been quite awhile since the last time I happened through UT) you had to be a "member" of whatever bar you went to. It was basically just a cover charge but they could serve precisely measured shots of liqour at them. If memory serves, they actually couldn't pour the shot directly in front of you either but that may have just been at restaurants. Probably some other Kiwi has more up-to-date information though.

Edit: corrected shit formatting.
 

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