Cultcow Russell Greer / @theofficialinstaofrussellgreer - Swift-Obsessed Sex Pest, Magical Star Buddy

RustyNail(her)

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has anyone figured out how he's smiling in this? My theory is two poor technicians off camera pulling his face back with fishing line or something.
Dim fucker probably looks at this every day and thinks it's Tom Cruise, even if it's fake. You know well he uses it on his Tinder.

He knew the unaltered photos were going to be taken. He paid for them. Yet it looks like he backflipped out of bed half an hour before the pics were taken. If he can't be fucked to shave, comb his hair, and shower then you know damn well that suit stanks. He glanced in the mirror and saw his nasty ass greasy hair and unkempt beard and said to himself "I look professional, suave, studly, and most of all COOL"
 

RebatsivePulsard

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I want to talk about this pic so badly:

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First off, can that be electrical tape around the monitor? It looks old & clunky even without tape holding it together. The Yamaha keyboard looks like the general design of the 80s-can anyone identify it? I think we’re looking at Rusty’s “home studio”. It’s absolutely a creaking dinosaur of a setup.
 

TheGreatCitracett

Reach me on the phone... Dial 2-69-BONE
True & Honest Fan
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I want to talk about this pic so badly:

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First off, can that be electrical tape around the monitor? It looks old & clunky even without tape holding it together. The Yamaha keyboard looks like the general design of the 80s-can anyone identify it? I think we’re looking at Rusty’s “home studio”. It’s absolutely a creaking dinosaur of a setup.
Looks to me like that's not tape, but actually a large piece of the monitor housing plastic smashed right out.

Somebody's been rough with that monitor and it's probably full of dirt, bugs, etc now. It really would benefit from a nice piece of tape.
 

RebatsivePulsard

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Looks to me like that's not tape, but actually a large piece of the monitor housing plastic smashed right out.

Somebody's been rough with that monitor and it's probably full of dirt, bugs, etc now. It really would benefit from a nice piece of tape.
Jesus, you’re right. Oh my god. He’ll pay for a GFE but use thrift store rejects as music gear. Priorities.
 

CupONavy

Business Hobo
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I want to talk about this pic so badly:

View attachment 1147296
First off, can that be electrical tape around the monitor? It looks old & clunky even without tape holding it together. The Yamaha keyboard looks like the general design of the 80s-can anyone identify it? I think we’re looking at Rusty’s “home studio”. It’s absolutely a creaking dinosaur of a setup.
Unfortunately it’s definitely not 80s. Blue backlit LCD isn’t gonna be 80s and the pitch/mod wheels plus it looking like an 88 key model means it’s not one of the cheap 80s Yamaha home models. Lack of integrated speakers means is probably even more decent - pro models lack the shitty integrated one watt speakers, as you’re expected to supply your own audio equipment. Hence the headphones.

Actually, looks to be a Yamaha MM8.


Quite decent. 2007-2010 or so, based off the Motif, retailed for between $1100-$1400. $500-$750 used today depending on condition.

Who did he have to jerk off to get that? Is this even Russ’s setup? I don’t recall him ever wearing over-ear headphones like that, and in his recent ham-fisted performance video he was wearing $10 earbuds. This is NOT the “love of his life” keyboard he shows mounted on his pro stand / mini fridge on page 1542.

Edit: Just thinking.. Quite like a 14 year old girl Instagram “photographer” thinks a $2000 Nikon with $1200 lens will make her a pro photographer, Russell probably figured dumping a grand on a semi-pro keyboard would make him a “professional musician.” I mean, he thinks a suit and walking through a gym twice a week makes him “hot” and being in an office building makes him “successful”, so why not. Nothing but the best for this strong-9, fit, cool, hawt songwriter.
 
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FernandoPooTragedy

Everyone is exceptional!
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Unfortunately it’s definitely not 80s. Blue backlit LCD isn’t gonna be 80s and the pitch/mod wheels plus it looking like an 88 key model means it’s not one of the cheap 80s Yamaha home models. Lack of integrated speakers means is probably even more decent - pro models lack the shitty integrated one watt speakers, as you’re expected to supply your own audio equipment. Hence the headphones.

Actually, looks to be a Yamaha MM8.


Quite decent. 2007-2010 or so, based off the Motif, retailed for between $1100-$1400. $500-$750 used today depending on condition.

Who did he have to jerk off to get that? Is this even Russ’s setup? I don’t recall him ever wearing over-ear headphones like that, and in his recent ham-fisted performance video he was wearing $10 earbuds. This is NOT the “love of his life” keyboard he shows mounted on his pro stand / mini fridge on page 1542.

Edit: Just thinking.. Quite like a 14 year old girl Instagram “photographer” thinks a $2000 Nikon with $1200 lens will make her a pro photographer, Russell probably figured dumping a grand on a semi-pro keyboard would make him a “professional musician.” I mean, he thinks a suit and walking through a gym twice a week makes him “hot” and being in an office building makes him “successful”, so why not. Nothing but the best for this strong-9, fit, cool, hawt songwriter.

Does that model have weighted keys?

Wait...is Russ trying to pass off that photo of his cheap keyboard as him being inside a recording studio?! Seriously? He's really losing touch with reality, big time.
TBH, this doesn't seem more delusional than normal. This is the guy who thought a "surprise" single release meant that Taylor was definitely afraid of him "destroying him in court." Russ has never been in the same solar system as reality, let alone in touch with it. He thinks he's just that much smarter than everyone else. And he's just that stupid and lazy.
 

Whatthefuck

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Does that model have weighted keys?



TBH, this doesn't seem more delusional than normal. This is the guy who thought a "surprise" single release meant that Taylor was definitely afraid of him "destroying him in court." Russ has never been in the same solar system as reality, let alone in touch with it. He thinks he's just that much smarter than everyone else. And he's just that stupid and lazy.
Yep, those do appear to be weighted keys. Obviously we can’t see the whole keyboard, but if it’s the standard 88 then it will be weighted. I stand corrected and definitely gave him too much credit. He just plays like a tard.
 

DrainRedRain

Autoandrogynephile
True & Honest Fan
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Why tf he always put a dramatic ''dum dum duuuum'' (right after the ''smiiiileeee'')? Sounds terrible and half-assed, like some rushed jingle someone would put at the last minute in a 90s keyboard sounds demo.
I understand absolutely NOTHING about music and sheet reading but this garbage right here won't even pass the first online audition.
The fact Rusty is practically burning money on vanity shitty projects like that while whole families are starving makes me mad. Irrationally mad.
 

Rabid Weasels

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His attempts at stalking julianne are completely half assed (like everything else). If he was even casually stalking her he would know she isnt on the show anymore, right? It was bigger-than-usual news because she was let go at the same time as gabrielle union, who made a huge stink about it. He has to know by now but is too stubborn to make adjustments to a 100% perfect plan.
 

lamp shade

Sitting on a goldmine of talent
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Looks to me like that's not tape, but actually a large piece of the monitor housing plastic smashed right out.

Somebody's been rough with that monitor and it's probably full of dirt, bugs, etc now. It really would benefit from a nice piece of tape.
We already know he angry-faps, so that would make sense.
 

Constellationzero

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I want to talk about this pic so badly:

View attachment 1147296
First off, can that be electrical tape around the monitor? It looks old & clunky even without tape holding it together. The Yamaha keyboard looks like the general design of the 80s-can anyone identify it? I think we’re looking at Rusty’s “home studio”. It’s absolutely a creaking dinosaur of a setup.
It's missing the milk crate or cardboard box to balance the keyboard on.
 

Qi Meng Dealer

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Now imagine those creepy gimp hands groping all over some poor working girl at a brothel (or worse yet, fumbling through giving his buddy a handjob for a ride). Makes you really feel for the plights of sex workers (and his gay friend).
The working girls, sure. His gay friend, though, intentionally chose to trade a handjob for a Vegas trip, so said friend probably has an autism fetish or at least a "try anything once" mentality, and was curious about getting a handy from a malformed hand.

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This was posted in the groups "LOCAL BANDS UTAH and SLC" and "Salt Lake Acoustic Musicians (S.L.A.M.)". No replies yet.
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Where the fuck is Matchbox 20 in this? It can't even pass itself off as the band's rejects that they never bothered to produce.

Jesus, you’re right. Oh my god. He’ll pay for a GFE but use thrift store rejects as music gear. Priorities.
You're supposed to be able to hear Russell's God-given talents shining through even pedestrian equipment or something.

His attempts at stalking julianne are completely half assed (like everything else). If he was even casually stalking her he would know she isnt on the show anymore, right? It was bigger-than-usual news because she was let go at the same time as gabrielle union, who made a huge stink about it. He has to know by now but is too stubborn to make adjustments to a 100% perfect plan.
No worries, he can just repurpose the song for some other celebrity as needed. It'll maybe end up as Heidi's Smile once he finally gets the news.
 

FernandoPooTragedy

Everyone is exceptional!
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By the looks of things she loves the Planet Fitness free pizza as much as he does too. I'm a bit surprised, to be honest. Does she make up for it with her teeth, or is Russ just lowering his standards?

Well, she definitely has his "asshole gym selfies" attitude. I fucking HAAAAATE people who take selfies in the locker room. There was a huge controversy a couple years ago about this Playboy Bunny taking a snapchat of a naked older woman in the gym locker room just to mock her and sharing it with thousands of followers. One of whom was probably Russ, because that ugly cunt had a grin that would put a great white shark to shame.

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And, yep, Redhead is draping herself over the machines. These people piss me right the fuck off. You want a selfie? Go in the corner and get the fuck out of peoples' way. Then again, this IS Planet Fitness, so no one is probably using the machines anyways for fear of having the alarm sounded on them.
 

Me_el_wante_V2.0

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eta: those no good rootn tootn women won't let Russell love them, gosh darnit!
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Russell must have been drooling with excitement to reply to that comment (so even than usual) - He got to indulge his cake case boner and his plight boner all in one place! Also, if Russell had even a small amount of understanding for women (acknowledging that they are people would be a good start), he might in some weird instance find a girlfriend that would love him I guess, but considering he's an odious little gremlin who will never develop self-awareness beyond that possessed by a sea cucumber, he will always see women as mysterious creatures who for some unfathomable reason avoid him like the plague.
 

The Dude

Bro, don't even bro, bro.
True & Honest Fan
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The working girls, sure. His gay friend, though, intentionally chose to trade a handjob for a Vegas trip, so said friend probably has an autism fetish or at least a "try anything once" mentality, and was curious about getting a handy from a malformed hand.



Where the fuck is Matchbox 20 in this? It can't even pass itself off as the band's rejects that they never bothered to produce.



You're supposed to be able to hear Russell's God-given talents shining through even pedestrian equipment or something.



No worries, he can just repurpose the song for some other celebrity as needed. It'll maybe end up as Heidi's Smile once he finally gets the news.
It wasn't anywhere near as fancy as Vegas. Prostitution is illegal there anyways. Not even as fancy as Reno. I think it was to Ely or some other podunk, low rent, jerk water town.