Cultcow Russell Greer / @theofficialinstaofrussellgreer - Swift-Obsessed Sex Pest, Magical Star Buddy, Now On Probation for E-Stalking

Pork Fried Rice

In the Wok
I have seen that post so many times and I am always baffled by that first sentence. I mean, fuck. How do you even make a joke about that.
Because you don't live in the delusional utopia in Russ's head. Russ is always the sexiest, always the smartest, and always right in his mind, even when everyone around him, and society at large tell him he's wrong. Just look at his interview post- the first Swift trial. He said that the judge's ruling "Defies all logic", even though the judge went to great lengths to politely explain to him why he was ruling the way he was, the law involved and interpretation thereof, and where Ratmouth went wrong. (Hint: While the judge was likely too polite to say, Russ's issue was not performing fellatio on a shotgun barrel)
 
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DrJonesHat

Katy Perry stole my kidney
True & Honest Fan
Because you don't live in the delusional utopia in Russ's head. Russ is always the sexiest, always the smartest, and always right in his mind, even when everyone around him, and society at large tell him he's wrong. Just look at his interview post- the first Swift trial. He said that the judge's ruling "Defies all logic", even though the judge went to great lengths to politely explain to him why he was ruling the way he was, the law involved and interpretation thereof, and where Ratmouth went wrong. (Hint: While the judge was likely too polite to say, it was not performing fellatio on a shotgun barrel)
The judge at the AG trial did the same thing, and tried to explain that since the suit wasn't filed in good faith, it was frivolous. Russ didn't understand what "good faith" meant and tried to argue it was filed in good faith. The judge slapped him down and explain good faith had a specific legal meaning. Russ still didn't get it. He tunes out when anyone tries to tell him something he doesn't want to hear. He said in his book that the judge wasn't listening to him (he was) so he wasn't listening to the judge.
 

Rustled Jimmies

Your honor, please find the plaintiff is not bald
OK but the mental image of some random retard doing his warm up exercises in the bar of a brothel at 10am because he couldn't get up onto the barstools is still one of the funnest funniest things in this thread.
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Not sure what I find more absurd and pathetic between:
  • Going to a brothel at 10AM, most normal people don't fuck hookers just after breakfast time, they are busy studying at varsity or going to their jobs

  • "Looking like the sexiest disabled guy ever" Oscar Pretorius on one of his worst days looks better than you Russell, and that's taking into account the fact he is in prison and can't go to tanning salons, proper gyms or the barber.

  • Only Russell manages to get intimidated by barstools
  • Doing squats and stretches like he is training for the Olympics when in reality he is just going to flop and drool all over a poor woman
 
Not sure what I find more absurd and pathetic between:
  • Going to a brothel at 10AM, most normal people don't fuck hookers just after breakfast time, they are busy studying at varsity or going to their jobs

  • "Looking like the sexiest disabled guy ever" Oscar Pretorius on one of his worst days looks better than you Russell, and that's taking into account the fact he is in prison and can't go to tanning salons, proper gyms or the barber.

  • Only Russell manages to get intimidated by barstools
  • Doing squats and stretches like he is training for the Olympics when in reality he is just going to flop and drool all over a poor woman
Id vote for "Looking like the sexiest disabled guy ever" and "wooing his hooker"

only thing i found funnier from him was that bit where he was describing doing pushups for the hooker trying to impress her
 
The judge at the AG trial did the same thing, and tried to explain that since the suit wasn't filed in good faith, it was frivolous. Russ didn't understand what "good faith" meant and tried to argue it was filed in good faith. The judge slapped him down and explain good faith had a specific legal meaning. Russ still didn't get it. He tunes out when anyone tries to tell him something he doesn't want to hear. He said in his book that the judge wasn't listening to him (he was) so he wasn't listening to the judge.

There's an even simpler solution than that. Russ was just too stupid to understand what judge was saying.
 
Why would you treat a woman who's handling your junk like she's trash? I mean I get you might have some moral objections to how she's choosing to make money but you're still fucking her.
Probably because thats what he secretly thinks of them

Have a friend who used to be a prostitute and its apparently very rare for people to treat them like shit unless thats their kink and they arent actually serious about it.

apparently the worst to deal with is guys with the Russ mentality where they get overly attatched and cant be let down softly and put on a huge show of how hurt their feelings are to try to guilt trip as hard as possible and in extreme cases threaten suicide because some people have far too much empathy to just say "do a flip faggot" and will feel excessively guilty over it
 
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Probably because thats what he secretly thinks of them

Have a friend who used to be a prostitute and its apparently very rare for people to treat them like shit unless thats their kink and they arent actually serious about it.

apparently the worst to deal with is guys with the Russ mentality where they try to guilt trip as hard as possible and threaten suicide because some people have far too much empathy to just say "do a flip faggot" and actually do feel guilty over it
But only Russ can treat a woman right! Only he can give her a better life! Especially if said woman is a hooker!

Seriously though, one of my favorite Russ moments was when a hooker posted a pic of the cat toys her John had gotten for her and Russ immediately had to put down on the guy, I believe calling him creepy, probably because possessiveness plus a need to rewrite everything in his head to make reality fall in line with his fantasy is a potent combination.
 
But only Russ can treat a woman right! Only he can give her a better life! Especially if said woman is a hooker!

Seriously though, one of my favorite Russ moments was when a hooker posted a pic of the cat toys her John had gotten for her and Russ immediately had to put down on the guy, I believe calling him creepy, probably because possessiveness plus a need to rewrite everything in his head to make reality fall in line with his fantasy is a potent combination.
He got jealous over a pic of cat toys? Im kinda amazed he can get that extremely jealous over something so minor.

I think my favorite is the story of him showing up at 10am looking like the sexiest disabled guy ever to woo "his" hooker doing nervousness squats and then doing pushups to impress her. like what the fuck is he even thinking the reaction will be?
 

AnOminous

shalom motherfucker
True & Honest Fan
Retired Staff
Nah, he knows what the judge was saying. He just has to rewrite it mentally to make himself out to be the hero. Narcissism is a hell of a drug.
He really doesn't, though. He has had how to serve a defendant explained to him by a judge and completely failed to understand it and failed to do it the next time, too. It just goes in one ear and out the other. He already knows everything. Anything the judge said to him was like the honking sounds in a Charlie Brown cartoon whenever adults were talking.
 

Battlecruiser3000ad

greetings frum india i hate gays
Not enough fingers.
Don't worry, I fixed it.
butternut_fix1.png

If not enough, here's a version w/ more
butternut_fix2.png


In rare case of insufficient fingercount, here's more. Tell me when to stop.
butternut_fix3.png



Oh wait, the Greer train ain't got no brakes

butternut_fix4.png
 

DrJonesHat

Katy Perry stole my kidney
True & Honest Fan
He really doesn't, though. He has had how to serve a defendant explained to him by a judge and completely failed to understand it and failed to do it the next time, too. It just goes in one ear and out the other. He already knows everything. Anything the judge said to him was like the honking sounds in a Charlie Brown cartoon whenever adults were talking.
Yeah, the judge explained exactly how to serve TS. He had to have a process server stake out her house at Nashville and serve her personally since no one else was authorized to accept service. Of course, since Russ is Russ, he ignored that and tried to serve a lawyer that had represented her in the past and then her fan club (that cracked me up). To make it even more hilarious, he tried to serve the same law firm AGAIN, and was again told they weren't authorized to accept service for this suit. Then he said in his filings he waited in case they changed their mind. He really, really, has no clue about legal matters.
 
Not sure what I find more absurd and pathetic between:
  • Going to a brothel at 10AM, most normal people don't fuck hookers just after breakfast time, they are busy studying at varsity or going to their jobs

  • "Looking like the sexiest disabled guy ever" Oscar Pretorius on one of his worst days looks better than you Russell, and that's taking into account the fact he is in prison and can't go to tanning salons, proper gyms or the barber.

  • Only Russell manages to get intimidated by barstools
  • Doing squats and stretches like he is training for the Olympics when in reality he is just going to flop and drool all over a poor woman

Slurpy McDerp is probably intimidated by barstools because of a number of reasons:
* Unable to move and shut his dead corpse eyes causes him to move his entire butternut to navigate
* Dwarf stature that's malformed. No doubt would look hilarious trying to mount either hooker or barstool
* Sluuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrp! You get where I'm going
* Malformed stumpy fingers makes it hard to grasp so he can mount hilariously and leave his disgusting snail trail everywhere

It's why he did squats. Those are the real man man manly man exercises sure to woo any hooker!
 

DrJonesHat

Katy Perry stole my kidney
True & Honest Fan
Slurpy McDerp is probably intimidated by barstools because of a number of reasons:
* Unable to move and shut his dead corpse eyes causes him to move his entire butternut to navigate
* Dwarf stature that's malformed. No doubt would look hilarious trying to mount either hooker or barstool
* Sluuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrp! You get where I'm going
* Malformed stumpy fingers makes it hard to grasp so he can mount hilariously and leave his disgusting snail trail everywhere

It's why he did squats. Those are the real man man manly man exercises sure to woo any hooker!
The fact he thinks you have to "woo" a hooker will never cease to be funny to me. You pay them, they fuck you. You leave. They fuck the next person. Rinse, repeat. That's how it works. He is welded to this fantasy of making a hooker fall in love with him. Of course, that led us to the hilarious incident where he dropped thousands on a hooker and didn't get to fuck her because he ran out the clock with his stupid fantasy.
 

GargoyleGorl

Token SJW
True & Honest Fan
The fact he thinks you have to "woo" a hooker will never cease to be funny to me. You pay them, they fuck you. You leave. They fuck the next person. Rinse, repeat. That's how it works. He is welded to this fantasy of making a hooker fall in love with him. Of course, that led us to the hilarious incident where he dropped thousands on a hooker and didn't get to fuck her because he ran out the clock with his stupid fantasy.
Women are made to be wooed. All women, at all times, unless they already have an owner. Like cars -- if they're on the lot, you can make an offer. That's just how it is.

He really just sees hookers as used cars. He absolutely thinks he deserves a 9 or 10, but he's willing to take a pre-owned one with a bit of mileage. Getting a girl to leave the brothel business behind is a bit like getting a deal on a car that had previously been leased. It's easier than trying to woo a brand new model. You can get a great deal that way.

It really makes perfect sense: Since he's a solid 9 but for his disability, he's willing to negotiate and take a solid 9 that's been around the block. It's not only fair, it's extremely realistic in his mind. I'm sure he thinks he could easily get a 6 or 7 that's never been off the lot, but he's really got his heart set on a luxury vehicle, even if it's been used. Those 6's and 7's he's been unsuccessfully stalking irl are just more trouble than they're worth. You buy a car off Craigslist, you get what you pay for. You've gotta go to a professional establishment to find the decent ones with a clean mechanic's inspection. You can even test drive them.

Too bad these cars are just too stupid to understand basic economics. They don't realize that their only options are his garage or the junkyard. Stupid slutty cars. Only Russ is willing to buy used these days. He's a gentleman like that.
 

Rustled Jimmies

Your honor, please find the plaintiff is not bald
Russ probably likes hookers so much because he sees them as the easiest and loosest kinds of girls with no barrier or filters to them outside of a pesky paywall that can be broken down with trinkets, venmo dollars and flowers

But never considers that if he should "woo" one over, what will she do for a living, there is a reason she sells her body but Russell is a possessive incel that screeches at Johns that also want the services of the hookers he fixates on.

Is she supposed to live with him on his salary? Even Russell should know he barely gets by on what he earns.
 
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