Cultcow Russell Greer / @theofficialinstaofrussellgreer - Swift-Obsessed Sex Pest, Magical Star Buddy, Now On Probation for E-Stalking, Pipsqueak

[super thug]

You really can see the gears turning in this pipsqueak's head, can't you? Most lolcows are very transparent but I think pipsqueak is the most transparent of all lolcows. He truly thinks that if he does the right things in the right order, comes up with that magic combination, that it'll be like finding a "reality cheat-code" and all his dreams and wishes will suddenly be granted.

It's so fascinating to watch, these silly things he comes up with. The way he's just like, "you should all be inspired by me." Amazing.

Such a broken man. SAD.

 

[The Dude]

Nothing says "body positivity" like writing about how hot a tanned Dominican, 7 inch waist, woman of around 60kg is, with 5.3million followers and who dated men such as The Weekend and Justin Bieber.
Using a snow bunny blond Russian front and center of the music video. All while a singer who is NOT Russell performs.

Literally nothing about this is about being true to your looks or yourself. Russ wants to make it sound deeper then it is when it's just to get his dick wet. He's such a grimy goblin.

Shit-lips knows you've gotta "sell" your song by using a lot of bullshit buzzwords and clichés to pretend like there is some deep message to the song. The main problem is that Russ has made it painfully clear that he's only interested in using his song for the most shallow of reasons: to convince some well-known attractive chick to have sex with him, and the song itself is likewise just as clear that it's message is all about that. You would have to be just as mentally retarded as Russhole himself to not pick up that message and to confuse it about "body positivity and loving yourself". But most people are far more intelligent than Russ, so there's likely no one who will hear the song and think "Yes, this is about loving yourself and staying positive, even if you're a 400lb quad-amputee".

 

[Iron Hamster]

Russell's "Yo Yovanna" video dropped and it is incredibly cringe. Decent production value, he must have spent a decent amount of money on this shit. That is...at least it's decent until it gets to his "special message" which is him talking about his disability and asking out Yovanna. New lawsuit when?

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YouTube Link

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I haven't figured out what's worse yet. The song, the Swift clone, or the flop sweat at the end.

 

[moocow]

Yes, most of us do in Utah. However Russ moved to Las Vegas right around Christmas time.

Nevada's a "fun" place right now with its Shaolin Shakes response. The state government is firmly controlled by democrats, and so is Clark county (where Las Vegas lives), but they're surrounded on all sides by very red counties. There is vicious disagreement on how (and when) to reopen the state properly and lift all the restrictions.

Team blue naturally wants to keep everything locked down tight. The casinos, who have more money than god and wield untold political power in the state, leaned really hard on the governor to allow them to reopen. The Nevada Gaming Commission (which regulates all the casinos in the state and has essentially unlimited and unchecked authority over them) begrudgingly agreed to allow casinos to reopen, but sided with the governor's Wu Flu paranoia by requiring casinos to practice social distancing and face masks for all patrons, employees and contractors. Gaming will literally shut down a casino indefinitely for failing to enforce that.

The governor has started to relent in recent weeks about keeping the state under restrictions and supposedly things are going to loosen up in May. But despite that, at least one county commissioner (I think Nye county -- home of the two legal brothels closest to Las Vegas) has publicly stated he's going to keep his county locked down as much as possible. In response, casinos there started banning him for life from their properties.

It's hilarious to watch from a distance, but I feel really sorry for the regular people stuck in that political quagmire.

No true creep would be deterred by a wedding ring.

Ironically, I found that women were all of a sudden very interested once I got married and was wearing a wedding ring. I guess a guy being taken means he must be worth something, at least to a certain set of women. I even had an old friend of my wifes outright offer an affair, just to fuck with my wife and try to take something she had.

Some people just suck, period.

Being married means you're "safer" -- stable home life, stable finances, and you've been vetted by someone well enough that they deemed you worthy of marriage. You're probably not a psychopath, violent or otherwise dangerous. You're likely to be healthier, especially if you're raising a family. You're far less likely to be carrying an STI, and if you're a woman you're very likely to be on birth control unless you're actively trying to conceive with your spouse. Both of those factors mean raw-dogging is on the table and is a much safer prospect than with some random one night stand.

Because you're married, you're also (presumably) highly motivated to be very discreet about any extramarital relationship because the cost of being caught can be extremely high. If the person you're cheating with is also cheating on their spouse with you, it's in your mutual interest to be extremely careful to avoid getting caught, so discretion is assured. It also makes you vulnerable to manipulation and blackmail (e.g. "if you stop seeing me/stop giving me money/stop buying me things, I'll tell your wife all about us").

It's sadly very common for married people to cheat on their spouse with someone else who's also married. I'd go as far as to say more extramarital affairs involve two people who are both married (not to each other, of course) than they involve one married person fooling around with someone who's single.

Of course there are also plenty of singles who actively seek out married men or women to fool around with because of these same considerations. They're scumbags for trying to hook up with someone who's married, but doing so is practically a zero-risk proposition for them. Even if they get caught, there's usually no repercussions for the lover (apart from maybe a heated argument and some name-calling) -- the cheater suffers the real consequences, while the lover can just vanish into the ether.

As someone who's never cheated but has been cheated on by two ex-wives, you're a fucking asshole if you cheat on your monogamous partner, and you're a fucking asshole if you fool around with someone who's married to someone else.

And if you find out your partner has been cheating on you, end the relationship immediately. No second chances. They'll just do it again since they know you'll forgive them when they get caught and even if they don't, you'll never fully trust them again. The relationship is fatally damaged because that intimate trust is gone and can never be restored. It hurts to lose a long-term relationship to infidelity, but forgiving a cheater and finding out they're still cheating hurts even more. I speak from experience.

 

[TractorGirl]

And the girl getting ready to salt her some crunchy tacos. Because nobody in Bulgaria has ever encountered an enchilada.

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I lost it at the tacos There’s no storyline to the clip that matches anywhere near the song, this albino running around Pripyat having convulsions occasionally doesn’t inspire much body confidence. Also, the blurred guy walking away in the orchard near the end, did he just bury her? It looks like a clip they’d use in a murder documentary when speculating where the killer dumped the body...

 

[Iron Hamster]

Also, the blurred guy walking away in the orchard near the end, did he just bury her?

Am I the only one that thinks that actually was him? Kinda has the same gait.

 

[Meredith Swift]

thx for the new profile pic, pipsqueak

this music video is everything I had hoped for and more. wish dot com Taylor Swift, salty enchiladas tacos, extra special plight feature...

 

[American Shorthair]

To be fair, that's probably how he pronounces it.

 

[Rasputin's Side Piece]

Okay, I know I'm a sped, but I have to say:

Yes, the video was as cringe-inducing as we knew it would be. IF I KNEW NOTHING ABOUT RUSSELL, I would feel so bad for the guy. Here is this dude, trying so hard to make it in show biz despite his disabilities and his plights. I would give him a thumbs-up just out of pity. Then after all his anticipation, he sees his "work" come to fruition, and...no one likes it. No one is breaking down his door, recording contract in hand. Neither is the Girl-of-His-Dreams-of-the- Month begging for him to take her to "dinner" (nudge nudge wink wink). What a punch in the gut.

BUT, I DO know about Russ and his horrid, nightmarish attempts to manipulate, shame, stalk, upset and otherwise ruin everyone's day. Whether he knows them or not. And I DO know about his tendency to threaten people with legal action when they don't bow to his demands. And I DO know how this will inevitably morph into some tantrums (and lolsuits if possible) when the object of his desire doesn't suck him his penis. Basically, I know what an absolute creep this guy is.

I can never feel sorry for Russhole despite the fact that I am a soft touch. It isn't that I even feel too sorry for the celebs he annoys, because they have resources and safe walls. But all the innocent people on instagram who like to send out shots with their friends or whatever, and some ASSHOLE starts drooling (lidderally) and all of a sudden they are being creeped out by a stalker. Actually being made to be afraid. Or, if you are a guy, then you have to be insulted by this fucking loser for no reason.

Russ has made it his mission to shit on the lives of everyone he meets that doesn't suck him his penis, and he is forcing me to resort to one of the lamest comeback ever...SO SORRY NOT SORRY.

 

[Dr. Henry Armitage]

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To be fair, that's probably how he pronounces it.

This whole sentence makes no sense. I think he meant he has an immense love for chocolate. Otherwise what is there to respect about chocolate?

 

[Chungus]

This whole sentence makes no sense. I think he meant he has an immense love for chocolate. Otherwise what is there to respect about chocolate?

Just one of those shitty "jokes" to try and make him sound relatable but just end up making him look more retarded.

 

[Andrew Neiman]

I desperately hope that someone gets on Fiverr and hires the same post-Soviet shithole "model" and "production company," to make something lulzy to piss off Russ-hole. Maybe a music video for a song called "Pipsqueak" or something.

I feel like we’d be able to make this happen if we put our minds to it. Surely there are some Kiwis with songwriting ability; that’d be the place to start.

 

[RodgerDodger]

As an aside, that episode of "I've Got A Secret" is actually quite fascinating. Seymour was, at the time, the last living person who had been present at the assassination of Abraham Lincoln. As a 5-year-old, Seymour didn't really know what was going on, but was worried about the wellbeing of John Wilkes Booth, whom Seymour saw jump down onto the stage and break his leg.

A few thoughts:

I love how granular all Russell’s whining about trolls’ antics is. “March 15, David called Plaintiff a ‘retardo homo,’ continuing on March 18-20 with false allegations that Plaintiff is ‘dumb and looks stupid’ and ‘has a 1-inch peenor lol.’”

“Pipsqueak” is now part of the legal record, lol. From the document: "David... goes into a bizarre rant, falsely claiming Plaintiff is five foot three and that Greer is going to lose to Greg Skordas.” I’m not sure that second part is a false claim…

It’s weird that Russell offered a screenshot of his buying a stun gun as an exhibit. Like, “Don’t believe me when I said I bought a stun gun! Well, look! I did!” It’s also weird that Russell offers the world’s most generic form letter from Mitt Romney’s office as proof of… well, something. Who knows.

I’d love to know who the hell sent Russell the flirtily inflected message in Exhibit H.

Exhibit I: "At first I was all, ! An author. Then I read the reviews of one of your books and the general consensus was that you have the mindset of a serial rapist." LOL.

Start to finish, this document drips with bitterness and self-pity. It’s remarkably emotional, even for Russell. It really does draw a vivid portrait of how besieged, hopeless and miserable Russell’s world is. This passage is a particularly remarkable cri de coeur:

“This harassment is never going to end. Greer can't trust people now because he does not know if they are working with Kiwi Farms or if they are truly fans or interested in Greer. This is how Plaintiff is harmed. His life is ruined. His reputation is smeared. His dreams are unobtainable. The most important thing to a person, their name, is tarnished.”

I can just imagine Russell tearing his clothes and sprinkling ashes on his head, as I read this.

Side question. Can Russhole legally purchase or own a stun gun, given his habit of and convictions for stalking celebrities, whores, and any female register clerk that he chooses to begin the wooings of?

 

[lamp shade]

Russ has been kind of stale lately but this is just peak Russell Greer and I am absolutely here for it. The shitty slides, the disability story shoved in your face right out the gate, him trying to pretend it’s about self love and immediately giving away his real intentions, the jump scare at the end. My day is made.

#NOTADATE

 

[The Great Citracett]

"Sorry, but I'd only get molested by a 9 or 10, myself."

 

[DumbDude42]

"i have immense resoect for chocolate" is my favorite greer quote now

 

[Andrew Neiman]

This whole sentence makes no sense. I think he meant he has an immense love for chocolate. Otherwise what is there to respect about chocolate?

It's the kind of quip that makes sense if you're a celebrity who's trying to sound down to earth and relatable to normal people. A bit like the part in Russell's "Why I Sued Taylor Swift" author bio where he talks about loving macaroni and cheese.

 

[The Un-Clit]

I lost it at the tacos There’s no storyline to the clip that matches anywhere near the song, this albino running around Pripyat having convulsions occasionally doesn’t inspire much body confidence. Also, the blurred guy walking away in the orchard near the end, did he just bury her? It looks like a clip they’d use in a murder documentary when speculating where the killer dumped the body...

Not even an albino, a total bottle blonde. Check them roots!

Also, Russ has already turned comments off to control the narrative. How typical. He may block the troll responses, but he's also blocked those annoying 'good vid but here's how you could be less cringe' people DARING to attempt to correct his masterpiece! at the cost of losing the ass-patters he hopes for as well. No, he's counting on Yovanna to follow him back and fall in love. The fact she responded at all must have made his tiny dick hard as blued steel.

 

[Ralph Cifaretto]

I feel like we’d be able to make this happen if we put our minds to it. Surely there are some Kiwis with songwriting ability; that’d be the place to start.

Honestly, if we're really trying to parody this priapismic gourd-head, actual songwriting ability might be a detriment.

 

[The Great Citracett]

PLEASE YOVANNA, WATCH ME MY VIDEO AND FOLLOW ME BAAAAACK!

PLEEEEASE!