Cultcow Russell Greer / @theofficialinstaofrussellgreer - Swift-Obsessed Sex Pest, Magical Star Buddy, Now On Probation for E-Stalking, Pipsqueak

Phil Ken Sebben

The Potato Whisperer.
kiwifarms.net
That explains why I caught my youth minister at a strip club once years after I left the church. He was ministering to the lost souls! Didn't know salvation required a lap dance, but then I'm not religious.
Then what's the excuse they use when they're caught looking at porn? I mean witnessing to the fallen via the power of a lap dance is one thing but the people performing on video can't hear you.

It's not like we don't know the people that tend to rail the most about porn are themselves avid porn hounds.
 

Constellationzero

MAPP gas huffer
kiwifarms.net
Thanks. Mr. Pulsard is now slurping around the house “Dude fuckin’ is the life for me” (to the tune of Green Acres).
(( Taps Mic )) 🎶🎶🎶

Ta--waiiiin Estates is the place to be!
Thot harassin' is the life for me.
My drool spreadin' out so far and wide
Keep Orem Utah, just give me that pimpin' life.

Las Vegas is where I'd rather stay.
I can't get enough of pounding rental gays.
I just adore my Section 8 rental view.
Dah-ling I love you but lemme just explaaaaiiiin!

...My Plights!
...Keytars!
...Bum Fights!
...Wahlburgers!

'bout ta fuck my next wife.
Good bye, Mormon life!!
Twaaaiiinn Estates we are there!!!!

No disrespect to Eddie Albert, Eva Gabor, my girl crush Ralph, and Petticoat Junction.
 

Meredith Swift

Simping for Skordas
kiwifarms.net
Now that I think about it, does Russ' facial paralysis prevent him from going down on a woman?
Probably doesn't stop him from trying, I imagine. He probably opens his gaping, dribbling maw and mashes it up against the sex worker's vageen, maybe moves his entire head up and down a bit until his grunting and snuffling become unbearable enough that she has to fake it to get it over with. His beard was probably crusty with pussy juice for months.
 

StraightShooter2

kiwifarms.net
Probably doesn't stop him from trying, I imagine. He probably opens his gaping, dribbling maw and mashes it up against the sex worker's vageen, maybe moves his entire head up and down a bit until his grunting and snuffling become unbearable enough that she has to fake it to get it over with. His beard was probably crusty with pussy juice for months.
Honestly, I wonder if he even washes his penis - and I get the feeling he doesn't shave his pubes.
 

AbraCadaver

Super Senshi Sailor Twift
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Probably doesn't stop him from trying, I imagine. He probably opens his gaping, dribbling maw and mashes it up against the sex worker's vageen, maybe moves his entire head up and down a bit until his grunting and snuffling become unbearable enough that she has to fake it to get it over with. His beard was probably crusty with pussy juice for months.
Why would Russ try to please a woman? Outrageous! Russ is the center of the universe. Plus he’s paying for this whore. You think he’s gonna waste his time going down on her?

Russ fantasizes about being the Last Nice Guy Gentleman, handing out better lives to guttersluts who really don’t deserve his help, but he will do them the favour because they’re hot. But no one said anything about actually being nice to the women or caring about their enjoyment.

Which is a good thing because prozzies hate guys who do that sort of thing anyway. You’re not having actual mutual sex, they’re just getting you off, as per their job. They don’t want you to try to please them, they just want you to hurry up and nut so they’ll be done quicker.
 

StraightShooter2

kiwifarms.net
He probably doesn't realise he even has to wash his pp. He probably thinks just getting it wet in his weekly shower counts

Edit: Why am I saying probably so much jfc
I wonder if he's like Chris Chan and uses Axe body spray as a substitute for bathing.

Here's another parody song (of Julienne's smile). This one is called "Erika's Smile" and and based off of the Erika/Chad saga:

I first met her on Facebook
She said she liked my music and made me want to take another look

Then I heard she had a boyfriend named Chad
Then I got real mad, then I got real mad

So she blocked me, but I made a bunch of fake accounts
And started blowing up her phone

She said I'm gonna call the cops on you, you're a creep who won't leave me alone
Then I found my self in court, slapped with a cyber-stalking charge
But I would have bought her a shake, a shake, to see Erika's smile

I'll even plead "Not Guilty"
To see Erika's smile

 
Last edited by a moderator:

The Dude

Make a difference in life. Gas a furry.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net

StraightShooter2

kiwifarms.net
LOL "5'9" and Athletic Build"...talk about your delusions of grandeur and disconnects from reality! Thanks for the laugh, Pipsqueak!
The "hairy" description was probably the only accurate part. Also wasn't there a picture for reference when guessing what his height is?

Ariana Grande's height is listed as just 5'1'' and here's Russ next to her for comparison.

1620537749140.png

Here's another fan photo for comparison:

1620537847591.png
 

The Great Citracett

Life's the same, I'm cooming in stereo...
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Probably doesn't stop him from trying, I imagine. He probably opens his gaping, dribbling maw and mashes it up against the sex worker's vageen, maybe moves his entire head up and down a bit until his grunting and snuffling become unbearable enough that she has to fake it to get it over with. His beard was probably crusty with pussy juice for months.
I firmly believe he has absolutely zero interest or concern for the woman's pleasure or enjoyment, so performing oral or anything like that probably has never even occurred to him. That's probably a bonus for the girl, really.

Honestly, I wonder if he even washes his penis - and I get the feeling he doesn't shave his pubes.
Not sure about washing, but he has proudly mentioned he absolutely does not trim or manscape at all. I shared the post in this thread, but don't have it right on hand.
 

Rustled Jimmies

I'm the Keytar'd Retard
kiwifarms.net
If I thought Russ were clever, I would imagine he's trying to run up costs since he doesn't have any while Null has to pay a lawyer. But I think you're right, he really is stupid enough to think he'll win if he gets to step into a hearing and wow everyone with his shitty suit.
Really? I think he is dumb, if Null and Skordas then ask for legal fees Russ would have to cut deeper into the hooker fund for a court trial.
 

GargoyleGorl

アイデンティティクライシス
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I firmly believe he has absolutely zero interest or concern for the woman's pleasure or enjoyment, so performing oral or anything like that probably has never even occurred to him. That's probably a bonus for the girl, really.


Not sure about washing, but he has proudly mentioned he absolutely does not trim or manscape at all. I shared the post in this thread, but don't have it right on hand.
I mean, does he even know women can have orgasms? I have no idea what kind of sex ed he got as the adopted child of devout Mormons in rural Wyoming, but I'm guessing it wasn't terribly comprehensive. And I can't see him having these kinds of discussions with his equally-religious buddies, even if they did go to a strip club on their mission.

At best, he's been educated by free porn clips.

God, I pity any woman who comes in contact with him. He literally has nothing to offer to offset his horrible, horrible traits.
 

The Un-Clit

After the Dimensional Merge, pussy eats YOU!
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
The "hairy" description was probably the only accurate part. Also wasn't there a picture for reference when guessing what his height is?

Ariana Grande's height is listed as just 5'1'' and here's Russ next to her for comparison.

View attachment 2154835
Here's another fan photo for comparison:
5ft9?! 5ft9 my syphilitic nutsack, you lying pipsqueek bamboon! My (ex) wife was 5ft2 and I am 5ft11 (and yes, I do give myself the extra inch and claim 6ft even, lol) and in our pictures she barely comes up to my shoulders. Russ is 5ft5 at the most generous of estimates.

Russ claiming 'she looks like she wants to behead me'....well it might well be that most people in this situation WOULD look at him like they want to remove his most ugly feature (his diseased brain, not his nerveless mouth) but in fact, she's holding very steady here, giving an amused and slightly flirty look to the camera, no doubt just practicing her vamping skills while being forced to take pictures with an ugly goblinoid pipsqueek in a smelly rumpled 20 years out of fashion suit.

And as per usual, he thinks a song he wrote with lyrics that are just one long thirst-post about how hot the popstar-crush-of-the-month is, and thinks that #1 it could be recorded and released as a hit song when it's only content is pure desperation and thirst and #2 the popstar-crush-of-the-month actually remembers who the fuck he even is until they see this picture and go 'oh yeah, THAT guy!'

Welp, still waiting for the Yovanna bashing to start up on his twatter and/or failbook pages. He's already had a bash at all the people who didn't respond to his big drop with thunderous applause and the Yovanna social media intern has only responded with polite thanks instead of booking a flight to Lost Wages and immediately running into our magical star buddy's room, tearing down his foul workpants and start sucking him his penis, so you know the fantasy has been soured in his mind by now. Coming up with some kind of excuse to sue Yovanna like his mental gymnastic magnum opus of 'Taylor swift is false advertising her niceness!', and we'll see the sour grapes posting starting up soon and sooner, I am sure.
 
Top