Cultcow Russell Greer / @theofficialinstaofrussellgreer - Swift-Obsessed Sex Pest, Magical Star Buddy, Now On Probation for E-Stalking, Pipsqueak

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Dr. Henry Armitage

Head librarian at Miskatonic University
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
soylent greer
gonna need some soyjak edits of russ
Not a soyjak but this was the first thing I thought of when I saw Russes all liquid diet
rus bot.jpg
Soy Russ showing off his latest music video
soi rus (1).jpg
 
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DrJonesHat

Clarifying Ninja
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Makes sense, as they will grow back in three days similar to a rat.
Possibly. See, I'm not convinced Russell is from this Earth. I think he's some hostile alien race's failed attempt to create an infiltration unit and they just turned him loose upon us to see what would happen. You know, I should probably go take my meds now and get off the internet for a bit.
 

RodgerDodger

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Possibly. See, I'm not convinced Russell is from this Earth. I think he's some hostile alien race's failed attempt to create an infiltration unit and they just turned him loose upon us to see what would happen. You know, I should probably go take my meds now and get off the internet for a bit.
So he's basically Invader Zim? The Aliens sent him here to get rid of him?
 

moocow

Moo.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net

JustSomeDong

My own dark side lower companion...
kiwifarms.net
I take my coffee like I take my women.

Cold and on ice.
I take it like I take my negroes, strong, black, and exploited from a third world countries. Because I'm an American, goddamnit.

But we're not talking about coffee, here, really. We're talking about coffee flavored liquid beetus. The studliest drink this side of the bunny ranch.

If you were a member of a technologically advanced civilization, would you want one of your failures hanging around?
The last of the Golgafrinchans.
 

Phil Ken Sebben

The Potato Whisperer.
kiwifarms.net
View attachment 2282739
What could this possibly be for?
Sounds like one of those fad diets to lose 10 pounds in 3 days by drinking only juice.

Pipsqueak is trying to get his summer beach bod happening and thinks that once he goes to the pool all the ladies will be astounded by how supa sexy he looks with his chiseled abs, massive pecs and oh so studly beard. Meanwhile everybody is playing "stay away from the retard" because he left a grease ring around the pool when he tried to swim.
 

Little Dark Age

Lolzymandias, colossal wreck
kiwifarms.net
He also said that the song "Candle in the Wind" which was about Marilyn Monroe(the original version was, he rewrote after Princess Diana died) was proof that Elton John wanted to fuck Marilyn Monroe. Apparently, Russ is the only person in the western world who doesn't know Elton John is a flaming gay man.
Russ witnesses a man possessing theory of mind regarding a woman, and spending time and energy on her, and cannot imagine it can be for any other reason than wanting to bang her. Not even Elton gayer-than-pink-snow John.
 

Ronnie Rocket

toxic talking turd
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
He likely has one suit. Don't Mormon boys normally get given one for Missionary work.
Missionaries pay for their entire mission themselves, either through saving from after-school jobs, donations from family and friends, or mommy and daddy's funding. The Church pays for nothing, except for locating low-cost housing in the area (and finding nice families in the ward to invite them to dinner).

And it's two suits: https://mormonmissionprep.com/lds-missionary-supplies/clothing-list/

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Not a soyjak but this was the first thing I thought of when I saw Russes all liquid diet
View attachment 2282976
Soy Russ showing off his latest music video
View attachment 2283090
Not enough fingers.
 
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Kosher Salt

(((NaCl)))
kiwifarms.net
Missionaries pay for their entire mission themselves, either through saving from after-school jobs, donations from family and friends, or mommy and daddy's funding. The Church pays for nothing, except for locating low-cost housing in the area (and finding nice families in the ward to invite them to dinner).
It's kind of splitting hairs to say that they raise funds from their (Mormon) family and friends but "The Church" pays nothing.
 

Ronnie Rocket

toxic talking turd
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
It's kind of splitting hairs to say that they raise funds from their (Mormon) family and friends but "The Church" pays nothing.
I mean, not really. Their (Mormon) family and friends already tithe 10% to "The Church" and yet still give money to help the kids go on a mission.

Especially considering the LDS Church itself as an entity is worth over $100 billion.
 

Empyrea

kiwifarms.net
he wants to get his fuck on with a 10 hot woman who will kiss him in a way that helps with his disability.
Okay. I have been following Russ for years now, even recently reread the entire thread over a week of breaks, but I've just had a moment re: this phrase. Along with me my penis, it's always just been a fun Russism, something I imagined as a mental 'made me feel better about myself' thing.

But suddenly, this time, all I can imagine is some poor prostitute playing cat's cradle with his stupid saggy face to try and force a pucker so she didn't have to kiss his teeth.

Thanks, brain.
 

StinkySnack

kiwifarms.net
This just made me realise, Russ can't swim, can he? He could maybe doggy paddle, but it's pretty risky if he can't close his mouth.

God, that would be so disgusting. There isn't enough chlorine in the pool to handle all the grimy shit seeping from his body. Just imagine being a hot chick taking a swim when all of a sudden this malformed little goblin comes bobbing up to you with its mouth hanging open, water being sucked into its mouth and then ferociously sprayed back out in rhythm all over your face. "I payyyy hookershh", it croaks at you through foamy spittle filled water. Ugh, and all the crusty shit from his mustache and nose-hairs would turn into a rancid jelly clinging and oozing from his lip. Gross. Some of that slime would get expelled with each watery heave as well...all over you and anyone around you. Probably a foul brown trail following him around the pool as well from his liquid diet pouring out of his gaping moebius butthole. I'd rather swim with a shark.

On a more pleasant note, I think @StraightShooter2 has been thread-banned. Hopefully for good.
 

DrJonesHat

Clarifying Ninja
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
On a more pleasant note, I think @StraightShooter2 has been thread-banned. Hopefully for good.
Reading comprehension was obviously not one of his strong suits. I thought he might be a troll, but then he commented that Russ was posting about some sports team with Golden in the name when he was obviously posting about golden retrievers since there was one in the photo. I think he's just not very good at understanding what he reads. Much like Russ in fact.
 
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