Salad Situation - 09/04/19

[RemoveKebab]

***Official Phase 1 Video***

She is addressing the salad siutation drama.

She recognizes these kits aren't healthy but she justifies it by saying here is allllll the food she is craving:

• MacDonalds - especially thier nuggets, McFlurry, large fry, and a double cheeseburger ON THE SIDE (But Ammmmmbberrrrrrrr we just ate MaaaacDonnnnaaaallllldddssss)
• Chinese Food - Kung Pao chicken, fried rice, crab rangoons
• KFC - Fried Chicken, Mashed taters, potato wedges, and mac and cheese

Look how much the right (our right) sleeve is sticking up due to her yuge arm fat:



She tells us she walked for 3:18 but no sped up video as evidence:


Her face when Eric comes home with Hardee's:

 

[Rokko]

Can we make this board invisible? She is clearly reading here, trolling and using buzzwords that she thinks are triggering the haydurs.

 

[Amber Khan]

It goes without saying that we’re seeing the return of EffortLynn. Being caught up with vlogs, eeteen salad, new intro. We’ll see some more kinda-exercise videos and maybe a small weight loss again. Was hoping it would get more interesting tbh

 

[Casket Base]

I'd rather have 500 calories from a salad than 500 calories from fast food

If you could actually limit yourself to a 500 calorie serving of fast food we wouldn't be here today.

 

[bev]

Can we make this board invisible? She is just trolling and using buzzwords that she thinks are triggering the haydurs.

No, people sperging about her salad of all things and her trolling all of them is the only entertaining thing about the cow anymore. Don't take that away from me

 

[ADHD]

Archive:

 

[dolores haze]

I guess we’re officially back in phase 1 of the cycle .

 

[Soccer Mom in Handcuffs]

“I want bad food”. Because classifying food as good and bad surely won’t trigger any kind of BINGE when she tries to eat only “good” food.

 

[Slappy McGherkin]

She eating it, but she's craving McNuggets, oraaanj cheekin, KFC, etc., etc..

Salad plan doomed to failure in... 3...2...1...

 

[Captain Ahab]

Prolly should’ve bought your watch band at a belt store, gorl. Such dainty forearms. Like a medieval stonemason.

 

[Whatthefuck]

NGL, I had that exact salad yesterday. Hear me out, I'm in the middle of the flu this is all I could prepare in the moment. Is it nutritionally void, almost positively, but it's not bad. She falls down in a couple of places, though. Halve that bitch and add some chicken or something with a bit of protein NOT shredded cheese. Not processed dressing. Also, these are intended to be side salads to well rounded meals, not entire meals for extremely well rounded gorls.

 

[L_I_F_T_E_D]

The date is wrong? Will recap shortly. EDIT: RECAP!


SALAD SITUATION - 9/4/2019 (The Nightmare Continues - technically Day 78 of 100)
Because I hate myself and my blood pressure enough to watch these "inscrutiateen" videos so YOU DON'T HAVE TO:

- September 3, 2019 (says the textover)

- Jokes about new segment called SALAD WITH AMBERLYNN REID. Claims she gets so many comments hating on her salad kits for being unhealthy (despite it's more the fact that she eats ALL THE SERVINGS because PortionControlLynn doesn't exist).

- She really wants McDonald's and Chinese Food (yet neglects ORANGE CHICKEN?) and KFC but those are THOUSANDS of CALORIES and make her feel like crap (And we all know she likely ate all of those things AFTER her 'first meal' salad si-chew-ation!)

Today's Salad: Taylor Farms Avocado Ranch Salad Kit (3.5 servings per container, so in total 490 calories and only 770mg sodium! SO HULTHY!)

- Reminder that this is "first meal" because she just woke up.

- Keeps using the word "scandal" now. (Did LiterateLynn pick that word up in one of her recent YA books?)

- SO PROUD of a 3:17-long Waddle-In-Place. Her BEST TIME! (Too bad she didn't record it! OH NO!) Her heart rate got up to 147!

- Half a minute of her fumbling with her phone on cam just to brag about her FOUR MINUTES OF EXERCISE (out of 30) for the day. (But wait, TimeLordLynn! That just confirmed you didn't go to bed until 6am, woke up after noon, and it's now about 3-3:30pm? I don't normally screenshot in a recap, but gotta get that AND the deteriorating fingernail polish in one shot!)

- More drinking of the non-pH-balanced water, and still refuses to use Ol' Coldy to do so...

- She could have FAINTED. From less than 4 full minutes of 'exercise' and elevated heart rate. (Maybe fucking go to a real doctor?)

- "I'm 28, and that's super-unhealthy, I understand that." (I don't think you do, booboo...)

- She listened to "Let It Rock" for not even the entirety of the song during that "workout".

BOXY CHARM UNBOXING. (Why the fuck is this "quality content"? Where does all this shit go? How do her roommates deal with the piles of filth and haul detritus? Every video of hers make me MATI...)
- "Butter" eyeshadow palette
- "Glimmer" eyeshadow
- Eyeliner pencil
- Brushes
- Mascara
- Face oil
- Another "glimmer" eyeshadow
- Foundation powder

- "WE RECYCLE!"

- "The small things in life give me joy" (Everything is 'small' in comparison to her.)

- Apologizes for her vlogs. (Hamber, if there's nothing you've done worth vloggeen, DON'T VLOG.)

COMMENT OF THE DAY!
Comment from "HOW BECKY LOST 40 POUNDS" (out of 2,620): Swaine - "You have no excuses. If all three of them aren't buying junk then it is all you Amber."
Response: "It's not about junk - it's about eating less. Becky eats what she wants. I've bought LESS JUNK." Blames candy/chips on "making her feel worn out" when it's having to simply exist with all that extra weight that is TRULY what makes a deathfat like her feel worn out.

TL;DR: Salad for "first meal". No mention of everything else eaten. New makeup subscription unboxing. SKIP-IT LIKE A 90s NOSTALGIA FIEND.

 

[Sushinope]

Salad doesn't cancel out all the fast food you cram down your gullet off camera Amber.

 

[Xenomorph]

Prolly should’ve bought your watch band at a belt store, gorl. Such dainty forearms. Like a medieval stonemason.


View attachment 922103

How in the fuck is that even comfortable, Jesus H Christ, AL: looking like a loin of pork in the arms.

 

[raritycunt]

NGL, I had that exact salad yesterday. Hear me out, I'm in the middle of the flu this is all I could prepare in the moment. Is it nutritionally void, almost positively, but it's not bad. She falls down in a couple of places, though. Halve that bitch and add some chicken or something with a bit of protein NOT shredded cheese. Not processed dressing. Also, these are intended to be side salads to well rounded meals, not entire meals for extremely well rounded gorls.

You’re suffering with a flu and you inflict a bland salad upon yourself? Gorl no treat yourself to some ice cream or something!

That being said if a normal person can choke it down amber should be able to

 

[RemoveKebab]

The date is wrong? Will recap shortly.

Good catch. Adjusted it to 9/4.

 

[Whatthefuck]

You’re suffering with a flu and you inflict a bland salad upon yourself? Gorl no treat yourself to some ice cream or something!

That being said if a normal person can choke it down amber should be able to

Gorl, there was literally nothing in the house remotely appetizing anyway and I don't have a Thumb Butler to order around. On a side note, I did look up how to make soft ice, you know the really good crunch ice and luckily had the means to make that. Apparently it's just freezing carbonated water. Hey, maybe that can encourage our gorl to drink more water.

 

[Peachtea18]

She talks about eating those salads first thing like it's a habit she's had for years and not just a temporary fix.

You know how sometimes you get a random craving for a certain type of food and basically live off of it for a couple of weeks until you eventually get tired of it and don't touch it again for a long time? That's what this reminds me of.

 

[RemoveKebab]

How in the fuck is that in comfortable, jesus h christ AL. Looking like a loin of pork.

View attachment 922131

I just noticed Necky in the back. Wonder what she is doing? Probably drawing skeletons and ghosts.

 

[raritycunt]

Gorl, there was literally nothing in the house remotely appetizing anyway and I don't have a Thumb Butler to order around. On a side note, I did look up how to make soft ice, you know the really good crunch ice and luckily had the means to make that. Apparently it's just freezing carbonated water. Hey, maybe that can encourage our gorl to drink more water.

You poor thing I empathise, I’m on post surgery food and it’s all soup and porridge. Even ambers salad looks nicer right now.