Trainwreck Samantha Violet Bushart - Illiterate Perpetually Pregnant Mutant Baby Factory; In and out of jail. Redneck. FAT.

SpeedOSanicRee

kiwifarms.net
They can't. If you use babies' looks as the primary indicator, you'd think that all babies were fathered by Winston Churchill. More than anything, I think all of the "Oh! He's got your eyes! And her ears!" comments are just made out of politeness. (Now, as an aside, it would be truly fucking hilarious if someone said something along the lines of "He's got your eyes, and her ears, and the mailman's nose!")

And ultrasounds are totally out of the question for determining looks.
I've seen some kids that look very similar to how their parents did as babies/toddlers. One of my friends gave birth to a kid who, even at less than a year old, was the spitting image of his father, so much so it was uncanny. But that's a rarity.

I've seen people say 'He's got your nose!' and it's like 'okay, but noses aren't fingerprints. Millions of people have that nose too. Calm down.'

Even with an ultra-HD 4D ultrasound taken at 39-40 weeks, you can't really tell how the kid is going to look when they aren't scrunched into a ball floating in their own piss. Even as newborns there's not much way to tell (unless they come out the wrong color or something). Give it a few years, or look at baby photos of Mom and Dad, not photos of them grown up.
 

Tiny Clanger

Warp Factor Dial set to: REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
True & Honest Fan
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In fairness, I know I’m a softy, Harper is a traditional southern name for whatever reason. It can be lovely if given the proper surname.

This is Sammie though, so she’d probably spell it Phaerpurr.
Shit - sorry guys, I should've put that in context. It's that dumb Brit thing...

You've long normalised what we consider surnames, so nobody in the US would think anything of Cooper, Harper, Taylor, Dexter etc etc. But here they still have their roots in trade names - someone is a Cooper because that was their family trade several hundred years ago - so the norm in the US is a noovy thing here. I think the Southern history is possibly from the nobs of the time using them to distinguish their early roots so they have that equivalent history for you. Every name is noovy somewhere - Britain kinda got stuck in 1850 and thank christ I wasn't named after Aunty Gertrude.

The Beckhams are the poster children for the stupid name thing here (apart from the sector of society that copies them slavishly) but many of their kids names would be normal in the US. Tho they still added Seven. Nuff sed.

Bonus tho, I get to laugh at Bentley as a name as well. It makes up for having to go everywhere by horse.


Ps. That child looks like whichever of them has a fist growing out of its head. Obviously all the changes of DNA within Sammie's Magical Baby Stumak have taken their toll.
 
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Tiny Clanger

Warp Factor Dial set to: REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
True & Honest Fan
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Sammie is superfecund, like cats. The Magic Baby Stumac not only grows enormous foetuses, they can be fathered by several men at once. Granted, the popping in-and-out of existence thing is still a mystery, but at least we have a partial explanation.

Sammie should be dissected for scientific purposes. I want her brain so I can keep it in a jar on my desk. A tiny, tiny jar.
 

The Ghost of ODB

The worst curse is a lie.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
She's been busy tonight.
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I looked it up... a 14 week old fetus weight 1 and a half ounces. But that's in a shitty normal womb.
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1/14/2019Posts a "fetal heartrate" with 75avg/46min/92max, which is obviously from someone's FitBit. (Normal FHR is 120-160bpm depending on gestational age.) This is for a single babby.
1/21/2019Claims someone by the name of Jermaine Phillips is the father of her "Oreo baby".
1/22/2019Fake ultrasound. "I will be reviewing the gender soon."
1/26/2019Claims Jamarion Vines is the baby daddy.
3/9/2019Baby shower scheduled for May 2, 2019. She says she is "3 months will be 4 months soon".
3/13/2019Posts "baby bump" picture and claims to be 3 months.
3/15/2019Claims to have lost her mucus plug and that her baby is already 4lds and the doc says it could be a 10 pounder.
3/19/2019Posts fake ultrasound from fake ER visit because she was having bad craps in her stomach and she was 5cm dilated.
 

Tiny Clanger

Warp Factor Dial set to: REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
True & Honest Fan
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Who is going to tell him the "M" stands for Sammie's immense MaccyD storage pouch? The only thing in there is a huge amount of lard.

Hold on a mo....that doesn't look like her usual trick of squishing her stomach flab into a baby bump. @Rabbit Bones - is her latest pregnancy pic you posted just a ball stuffed up her t-shirt?
 

Or Else What

It stands to reason
kiwifarms.net
Sam seems to be setting her imaginary boyfriend up to battle her sleeping boyfriend for ownership of the hyper-fetus.
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Fuck me, but she just devolves further every week. This is the casual everyday horror of social media laid bare. It used to be that this sort of mangled-hormone cringeworthy jabbery that t.arded dead-town slags would scrawl in idle moments in private, on letters never sent or in cheap diaries, would be forgotten, ripped up, thrown away, used for kindling. But with the essential phone now, it is displayed and shared and passed on - soon ignored, forgiven, forgotten, deleted. Yet forever out there for everyone .

PS. Now get off my lawn.
 

SpeedOSanicRee

kiwifarms.net
The phrase "mucus plug" makes me want to dry heave. I'm assuming that happened on 16 and Pregnant because I legit never heard of it until Sammie's thread and lbr Sammie probs never heard of it either.
It is a real thing, but it's not discussed much because, well, it's gross. It's something that should really only be discussed with your doctor and not put on Facebook at all. I learned of it in a child development class. I'm all for the miracle of life or whatever, but there's zero reason to talk about mucus plugs outside of an educational or medical setting.
 

Requiem for a Shark

kiwifarms.net
The phrase "mucus plug" makes me want to dry heave. I'm assuming that happened on 16 and Pregnant because I legit never heard of it until Sammie's thread and lbr Sammie probs never heard of it either.
It's a real thing, but it's also not a good indicator of going into labor as losing it can happen weeks before labor actually begins. People loooove to act like it's a huge deal, though. The number of people who come into L&D and want to show pictures of their mucus in their underwear is unreal. No thanks, I'll take your word for it because it's not important anyway. Come back when you're actually in labor.

At least Sammie actually posted an accurate fake heart rate this time. It's really a miracle this fake kid hasn't been born yet since when she was in the ER during her last update, she said she was dilated to 5cm. At 14wks, that fetus would just fall out at 5cm and she would either be hospitalized for a D&C after delivering a fetal demise or sent home and told to come back after passing fetal parts... Again, for a D&C. But this miracle baby is already 4lbs so maybe that's how he's managing to stay in this long.
 

Rabbit Bones

If he fuck me good I take his ass to Red Lobster
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
The phrase "mucus plug" makes me want to dry heave. I'm assuming that happened on 16 and Pregnant because I legit never heard of it until Sammie's thread and lbr Sammie probs never heard of it either.
It happened in at least one of her real pregnancies. Generally when she gets something right about pregnancy, it's a thing that managed to stick in her head from Lucy or Ben.
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MaoBigDong

Pamela Swain Gave Me Ass Cancer
kiwifarms.net
It happened in at least one of her real pregnancies. Generally when she gets something right about pregnancy, it's a thing that managed to stick in her head from Lucy or Ben.
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How would she pull off being pregnart with a gf? I don't even want to know about the mental gymnastics involved with a situation like that.

Also lol canned chicken noodle soup, looks like sideways or whichever hoodrat of the week she's with balled up and went to the food pantry.
 

Rabbit Bones

If he fuck me good I take his ass to Red Lobster
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
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I noticed this the other day, but it's happening more. Sammie has given up even giving herself compliments with Sleepys fakebook. She's just started key mashing. And it isn't even on every post... it just happens randomly. I went back to see if maybe they were place holder for future compliments, but none of them have been edited.
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