Trainwreck Samantha Violet Bushart - Illiterate Perpetually Pregnant Mutant Baby Factory; In and out of jail. Redneck. FAT.

SpeedOSanicRee

kiwifarms.net
Oh, please. Remember all that times that Sammie claimed she couldn't get a job or visit her kids because there was no one to take her? If this girl is incapable of traveling five minutes down the road on her own, the chances of her making her way to California are virtually nil.
Does she drive at all? I'm going to assume not, since she can't get around.
 

SpeedOSanicRee

kiwifarms.net
pretty sure the only type of "getting around" she does is getting around every town niggo's dong.
Fair enough.

I have no idea if she can drive or not but I think it's a pretty safe bet that there's no chance in hell she can afford a car.
That's important. Even if someone gave her an old shitbox or something, no way could she afford car insurance every month.
 
Reactions: Whatthefuck

MirnaMinkoff

Mama, nobody sends you a turd and expects to live.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Ever see the movie "Waiting for Guffman"? One of the running gags in the film was that the founder of the town was such a stooge that he was unable to tell the geography of Missouri from that of the California coastline. I could honestly see Sammie ending up in Wyoming thinking she was in Kallifronya.
Which was a dig at Mormon Brigham Young who was supposed to lead his flock to the Pacific Ocean, but they we’re so exhausted by the time they reached the Great Salt Lake it was deemed good enough. (The was also the old joke Brigham told his pioneers the lake was the Pacific Ocean and just called it a day)
 

wateryketchup

kiwifarms.net
Ever see the movie "Waiting for Guffman"? One of the running gags in the film was that the founder of the town was such a stooge that he was unable to tell the geography of Missouri from that of the California coastline. I could honestly see Sammie ending up in Wyoming thinking she was in Kallifronya.
Ha! I forgot about that. Which is funny because Sammie seems like one of those OTT characters in those types of mockumentaries
 

Rabbit Bones

If he fuck me good I take his ass to Red Lobster
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Fair enough.


That's important. Even if someone gave her an old shitbox or something, no way could she afford car insurance every month.
Well, she could. She doesn't pay rent or bills and she gets a tugboat. Some of that may be docked for child support, but I really doubt that. Sammie has about $800 a month that she's blowing on weed, takis and cigarettes for niggas, she could pay $50 to get a car covered. But it's a moot point really.
 

MaoBigDong

Pamela Swain Gave Me Ass Cancer
kiwifarms.net
I wonder if whatever disability she happens to get money for would impair her driving. In that case I know some states won’t legally let you get your license. I knew a girl who couldn’t get hers because she had seizures often, it could be a situation like that. Then again I doubt she would be able to read to take the test, let alone understand any of the road signs if they test on that in her state. She could see a goose crossing sign and think there was a KFC nearby for her niggas.
 

SpeedOSanicRee

kiwifarms.net
She could see a goose crossing sign and think there was a KFC nearby for her niggas.
'Look at all those chickens!'

Yeah, I thought of that too. I'm not sure she's literate enough to pass a driver's test.

I still want to know what's wrong with her. Like, this is abnormal even for Arkansas. I guess that's obvious though--otherwise every girl in Arkansas would have a thread here.
 

MaoBigDong

Pamela Swain Gave Me Ass Cancer
kiwifarms.net
Damn, if she doesn't drive then what does she do? I feel like walking around for 10 or 15 minutes might be too much activity for her.

Also, this hands down is the best thread on these forums.
Judging by how obese she is I would say she hardly walks either. Even just slowly walking a mile every day would most likely make you lose a considerable amount of weight depending on your diet (I’ve personally found this to be true at least because I can’t run for jack shit). She probably just spends all day at home watching Jerry Springer and coming up with elaborate baby stories for her next announcement.
 
Reactions: SpeedOSanicRee

Or Else What

It stands to reason
kiwifarms.net
Damn, if she doesn't drive then what does she do? I feel like walking around for 10 or 15 minutes might be too much activity for her.

Also, this hands down is the best thread on these forums.
She waddles around the nigborhood, whaling on doors and chatting up the corner boys. From such endeavours does she attempt to extract some lifts, and a life.
 

SpeedOSanicRee

kiwifarms.net
Damn, if she doesn't drive then what does she do? I feel like walking around for 10 or 15 minutes might be too much activity for her.

Also, this hands down is the best thread on these forums.
Agreed. She could prowl the street corner for her next NOTW/baby daddy of her next fake child.
Judging by how obese she is I would say she hardly walks either. Even just slowly walking a mile every day would most likely make you lose a considerable amount of weight depending on your diet (I’ve personally found this to be true at least because I can’t run for jack shit). She probably just spends all day at home watching Jerry Springer and coming up with elaborate baby stories for her next announcement.
This made me think of something. If she wrote stories, it would be way better. Like, if every time she wanted to have a baby, she instead wrote a story about a character having a baby (hell, she could even make it smutty and write about the conception), it would give her something to do. Getting a friend to proof-read it could also work. We know she comes up with explanations for everything. If she wrote fictional stories about babies, she could say anything she wanted to and it wouldn't look as bad on her. Like, channeling her creative energy could work for her I think.

Plus it would give us more entertainment to read stories she wrote.
 

MaoBigDong

Pamela Swain Gave Me Ass Cancer
kiwifarms.net
Agreed. She could prowl the street corner for her next NOTW/baby daddy of her next fake child.

This made me think of something. If she wrote stories, it would be way better. Like, if every time she wanted to have a baby, she instead wrote a story about a character having a baby (hell, she could even make it smutty and write about the conception), it would give her something to do. Getting a friend to proof-read it could also work. We know she comes up with explanations for everything. If she wrote fictional stories about babies, she could say anything she wanted to and it wouldn't look as bad on her. Like, channeling her creative energy could work for her I think.

Plus it would give us more entertainment to read stories she wrote.
She would need the highest quality editor ever to even be able to produce something slightly legible. It’s a nice thought but damn it’s almost like she would need to say her ideas to a writer in person and have them write by proxy so she could actually write something that someone could read. I can’t deny that it would probably be hilarious to see her write a large work, though. She certainly has a big imagination and plenty of free time. I just don’t think that she would be able to pull off the actual writing part, unfortunately.
 

SpeedOSanicRee

kiwifarms.net
She would need the highest quality editor ever to even be able to produce something slightly legible. It’s a nice thought but damn it’s almost like she would need to say her ideas to a writer in person and have them write by proxy so she could actually write something that someone could read. I can’t deny that it would probably be hilarious to see her write a large work, though. She certainly has a big imagination and plenty of free time. I just don’t think that she would be able to pull off the actual writing part, unfortunately.
That's true, honestly. I'm pretty good at proofreading and can usually translate stuff but I find myself scratching my head with her sometimes.
 

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