saying goodbye after 11 years ...... - 8/13/2019 -

literally low-key
I can't get over how she looks packed into that car. When she pans over, Becky looks like she's sitting in a hole! It can't be safe driving with Amber spilling into Becky's seat.
When Eric came out onto the patio I noticed they didn't exchange a word. They usually at least insult each other. I didn't believe the rumor that they were feuding but now I'm beginning to wonder.
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saying goodbye after 11 years.... - 8/13/2019 (Day 56 of this 100-Day Nightmare)
Because I hate myself and my blood pressure enough to watch these "inscrutiateen" videos so YOU DON'T HAVE TO:

(Well, it's CLEARLY not her ACTUALLY saying goodbye to us - let's see how clickbaity this title truly gets!)

- Wait, she's WEARING the makeup from her LAST video (the fucking mermaid one) and she's saying she's DONE with makeup and not going to wear it anymore and wants to give it away? Even though in the LAST video she said "This will be my makeup look for the rest of mah life"??

- Oh, the "joke" continues because she says she's not going to poop-bun her hair anymore, and is giving away her clothes and is "naked". TEE HEE HAMBER. SO FUNNY. WE THE INTERNET WOULD LIKE TO COLLECTIVELY SLAP YOUR KNEE.

- "You can cringe." (Already way fucking ahead of you, HamBeast.)

- Hamber admits yet again she had ALL the intention to post things out of order because she has no idea if we've seen the video she made JUST BEFORE this one.

- Necky got bad news from her family, so Hamber has let her go off to have actual emotions because Necky's family hates her, she doesn't want to sit in the car, she has videos to do instead, she feels this is a "don't bring the girlfriend" situation, etc. SUCH SUPPORT!

- THE NEXT DAY. Hamber is tired, and has been napping pretty often for someone who DOES NOT NAP. More bullshit claims of nightmares. (MAYBE it's because you're in some way finally understanding that you're dyyyeeeen?)

- Necky is already back? And has to lug this lardass around to appointments that have nothing to do with her - for no real reason? (#FREENECKY)

- Tablecloth Of The Day (She apparently feels embarrased showing her flabby arms and dingy bra strap to the 5 people she might encounter outside the house, but okay to show off to 130,000 people on YouTube??)

- She just sprayed perfume like 5 times, at least once on her fucking stomach? Guess that festering bellybutton and vaginal goopitude is still going on? Or is this "typical stank-masking levels"?)

- Worries that being in the sun for a few seconds (since she can't be upright for more than 3 minutes at a time) is going to result in sunburn.

- Hamber apparently learns how postal carriers deal with puffy envelopes by poking a hole so they can fit in the tiny mailbox.

- SO STORMEEN. "We went to Dunkin Donuts. I GOT A WATER. Becky got a DELICIOUS THING." (Right, we all believe that. On to the next LAH.) Oh, the water was for her medicine? Pretty sure she mentioned that her mood stabilizers are supposed to be taken "with food", so even less belief that she only got water.

- Hamber is afraid of being "suctioned up" by a tornado. *EYE ROLL SO LOUD IT'S LIKE GOD BOWLING*

- "At least I'll be amongst family" when talking about being with the pigs/cows in the tornado. SelfDepricatingLynn again? Joking about suicidal-levels of sloth and gluttony? *sigh*

- CUTS TO THE NEXT DAY(?) and they are returning from this "emergency dentist" trip. Yes, she JUST wore that the other day, probably explains the higher-than-normal disgusting levels of pet hair and dandruff all over it.


- She's been struggling with wisdom tooth pain for eleven years??? (Fuck you, Hamberlynn.)

- Yet another reminder that this random dentist is the person she's never been more grateful to in her life, this time while in the car with her current girlfriend who has to routinely care for your everyday needs...

- Hamber takes several minutes to describe the normal action of having a tooth pulled.

- Another nap. She HAS to eat. She will LIDERALLY DIE if food does not enter her gullet. HAMBER FEELS LIKE DOO-DOO.

- Hamber is now jealous of Becky eating solid foods, despite those foods being what look like a sloppy porkchop with gravy, an unseasoned baked potato with cheese thrown on top, and green beans straight from the can "with a pinch of salt". Hamber (waddle-foot-shot for those fetishists) has to eat sodium-rich chicken noodle soup. Given a chance to have some of those soft green beans, but she turns it DOWN. Thank goodness she fired that stupid Weight Loss Doctor because he wasn't going to let her eat ALL DEM VEGGIES...

- Necky and Hamber are going to play Nintendo GameCube. Wow, shocked it's not another MOVIE NIGHT.

- Directions for her tooth include "no bending". (Bitch, that dentist said that because he's afraid your ass will FALL DOWN. Nobody in their right mind believes you can "bend" at the waist.) "No activity". SelfDepricatingLynn is back to joke that it won't be hard for her to not do physical activity.

- So the "What's in my purse" video (which she claims was filmed in July, but according to this timeline puts the current HamberPlanet date still in late-June) happens AFTER this video.



I’m Connor, the android sent by Cyberlife.
oooh yas gorl, this video has everything.

- clickbait
- third vlog from the same day. how long can this go on? we’ll see. we still have like 40-something days. maybe’ll all of that content will be from some random day that she managed to do her fucking make-up for the first time in, well, eleven years.
- big al thinking she’s funny and going on an awful running bit about make-up because she’s basically george carlin.
- mini torrid haul (HIGHLY REQUESTED) feat tiny backpack shoutout and a rare sighting of her using some perfume from her hoard (& it’s not even b&bw)
- soaking up the sun like a shut-in that’s been chained in the basement for twenty years
- conspiracy theories regarding her mail
- an irrational fear of rain and thunder; dramatics about being pulled into a tornado
- a self-deprecating joke about being a cow that, if anybody else had made in the comments, one of her dozen sock-puppets would call them broke and ugly over
- “god is bowling”, peeeeña colada
- “i have never been more grateful for anybody in my life” she says, while quasimodo’s chains rattle as she drives big al to wendy’s for her first massive frosty of the day
- amberlynn taking one of those naps that she doesn’t take
- amberlynn forcing herself to eat potatoes and mac & cheese - to fuel her dainty body so she doesn’t go into starvation mode
- amberlynn thirsting over unseasoned chicken, canned green beans, and a massive potato covered in polyurethane shredded cheese
- whittling away her best years playing games with becky instead of being a productive functioning member of society
- reckless spending, once again, and a bit of foreshadowing about the iconic “what’s inside my purse” vlog

i feel satiated. no weigh-in, no diet mention, because she isn’t weighing-in or dieting, apparently, but this little compilation of events really covered all of the bases. can’t wait to see how she’s going to top this addition to her greatest hits album with some more high quality content tomorrow. her dedication to her craft is astounding. i think it’s about time that she takes a vacation! our gorl needs one(:


Magical advice for reasonable fees.
I am far more interested in the crazy dentist and his super chair that pulled this off. What engineering marvel is able hold her on her back with the shelf ass and 600 pounds? What brave soul was willing to put their hands inside the void? Who could hold themselves from gagging on the smell?

You're a braver man than I mystery dentist! :semperfidelis:

Lesbian Sleepover

Party Announcement
True & Honest Fan
"I like...NEVER take naps...and...I've takeeeeen... TWO? in the last 3 weeks..? two, yeah"

First off, she doesn't know it yet, but due to lack of oxygen her brain is just shutting the fuck down. Of course she wants to nap. She's exhausted from just involuntary muscle movements .

Secondly, she really believes "inscrutiate/inscrutiatiiiing" is a fucking word.... man alive I tell ya'


bag o' bones
Becky sure is sounding a lot like Destiny -- fed the fuck up and annoyed -- right before the break up
Amber is acting just like she did then, too.
I'd love to see a comparison vid made from Amber's same angle from the passenger seat

Thats how i feel too, Albert.
That forehead lookin real Amy-like and sweaty
yikes that shit stank
Pink eye
Becky looking red, puffy, large and in charge
Only a triangle of space left between her chins and chest
Her nervousness about thunderstorms is amusing to me.

Why would you think that it takes hours to remove a tooth? It's not fucking open-heart surgery.

The reason why she feels bad is she probably swallowed some blood when the tooth was extracted, she should have been given medicine so that she doesn't get sick.

Funny how she goes on and on about how she has to hork mushy food into her maw because muh tooth, but she adds tons of pepper to her soup. One of the WORST things you can do after getting a tooth pulled (besides drinking alcohol and smoking) is to eat spicy food.

And finally, show us the damn thing. That could be anything rattling around in that pink tooth container.
Pepper... spicy?

The 8 of Spades

If Only You Knew How HONK HONK Things Really Are
I loaded to the 3rd page with my automatic assumption: Clickbait, not Becky realizing how bad it is.

Now to go check.

ETA: Yep.
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