SCP Foundation - Creepypasta with roid rage - now ITT: SCP fans

[Punished “Venom” pH]

So Roget has once again posted to RPC and, once again, his work is riddled with technical mistakes. As a fun writing exercise, I have taken the liberty of drafting a marked-up version of his article, just to identify the sheer number of errors from someone who supposedly takes his writing seriously.

Legend:
(Bold in parentheses): Explanations of mistakes and other comments
Strikethrough: Text that should be removed
Underlined: Text that should be added

Spoiler: RPC-636 technical critique

Registered Phenomena Code: 636

Object Class: Beta-Orange

Hazard Types: Animated, Regenerative, Sapient, Transmutation

Containment Protocols: The area in which (unnecessary) RPC-636 is known to manifest should be monitored by plainclothes Authority agents under the cover story of being covering as building inspectors. Structures affected by RPC-636 are to be evacuated upon detection then demolished. Any specimens or artifacts recovered for research are (tense mismatch) must be suspended in blocks of ice which encompasses their mass (What else is it supposed to encompass?). This has been shown (passive voice) deters the RPC-636’s effect on surrounding masonry.

Description: RPC-636 is an anomalous phenomenon found primarily within the city of London (Where else?). Structures affected by RPC-636 must be inhabited by subjects in a state of poverty before any anomalous effect will initiate (Chicken or the egg? Your timeline of events is muddy). More desperate Poorer living conditions will cause a more intense effect to manifest intensify its effects. In the affected regions, subjects have been (They "have been", but are not anymore?) are known to live with multiple families in a small bedroom bedrooms (You're talking about multiple subjects, incorrect singular usage) and with extremely primitive (How can something be "extremely primitive"? Can a rock be "extremely rock"?) low to nonexistent sanitation and ventilation. Rodent and insect infestations, along with (You're making a list, these words are unnecessary) unsanitary conditions, high infant mortality and alcoholism rates, propensity for alcoholism, prostitution, and social unrest are ubiquitous to areas affected by RPC-636.

Once affliction by RPC-636 has fully set in, the interior spaces (Interior spaces of what?) will no longer have dimensions consistent with their exterior. Windows and ventilation shafts visible from the outside will grow in endless fractal spiderweb patterns on the inside to accommodate this growth (I have read this sentence over and over, tens of times, and I sill have no clue what you are saying) . The internal plumbing in the area will cease pumping water and instead bring in contaminated construction chemicals instead of water. (Contaminated with what? This is supposed to be a description.).

Following the RPC-636 effect manifesting, rubble and debris will animate in basic(redundant) into humanoid forms. These entities, are classified as instances of RPC-636-1, which will slowly fill whatever space within the RPC-636 spaces (You just used the word "space". Use something else.) areas that has (tense mismatch, proofread your work) have collapsed or crumbled. Once finding a hole, RPC-636-1 will break down again to take the form of the human development cycle, initially re-appearing as an infant before growing into an adult humanoid body. (This entire sentence is riddled with grammatical errors, poor structure, and can barely convey information. Rewrite it from scratch.)

When fully grown, instances of RPC-636-1 will seek out the nearest damaged artificial structure. Once they do so Then, they will perform various rituals on or around RPC-636 damaged structure (Redundant word usage, again.). Examples of these rituals include:

• Attempting to gently rub (Are they attempting and failing?) Gently rubbing mortar or other sealants into cracks or small damaged portions of the structure
• Laying new bricks if the structure is composed as such (Why did you even write this sentence this way?)
• Spending significant amounts of time lying motionlessly nearby the structure (I deleted a comma here. Learn what conjunctions are.) or within if the damage is prominent severe
• Stomping around the structure while scraping at various portions of its body (Whose body? Unclear subject), in a rhythmic manner
• Scratching various messages into the undamaged portions (Assuming a structure has undamaged portions) of the structure (See attached documentation.)
• Pounding on the walls (Whose walls?).
• Breaking windows, doorframes, and other fragile structures (Again, to whom do these objects belong?) Are they breaking other people's property or there own?).
• Scraping against the walls, ceilings and floors, in a manner reminiscent of rodents or insects.
• Dirtying clothing and objects by rapidly shedding flakes of paint, dirt and dust onto them.
• Manifesting mouths under the floors, which will moan softly. Voice has been described as "rough" and has a high-pitched inflection (So are they manifesting voices or physical mouths? Your sentence is once again unclear).

Discovery: RPC-636 was initially noted in 1968 (Deleted an unnecessary comma) after the London police force in London documented the spatial anomalies in their case files. An RPC-636-1 instance was found carving a message in mortar outside a coffee shop, which was the initial recovery location. Local authorities observed the perimeter while allowing RPC-636-1 proceed over a period of four(4) hours, after which agents (Which agents? Local police agents? Specify.) moved in to contain it.

The takeaway from this wall of text should be confirmation that not only does writing for SCP not make you a better writer, but also the criticism mechanisms in place on the site are woefully inadequate for a writing standard above a high-school level. Considering Roget's 10 year+ participation in the site, the above work is indicative of SCP's writing quality as a whole, if I may make such a bold claim. Roget, to you, I give you these critiques free of charge.

EDIT: Just adding that there are many, many more problems with this article than what I have pointed out. This is just a technical critique. Regarding the actual narrative, as in the content of the article, it is vague to the point of frustration. However, that is an entirely different criticism avenue that I don't feel like pursuing.

Spoiler

Your critique is petty at best, outright wrong at worst, so I will continue disregarding your advice.

 

[Funny Valentine]

Spoiler

View attachment 1981673

Your critique is petty at best, outright wrong at worst, so I will continue disregarding your advice.

Roget, I'm kind of curious, how do you get ideas for SCPs (or nowadays, RPCs)?

 

[AnOminous]

I find outing predators more important than some attention hungry child's cry fest over an aesthetic choice. Don't get me wrong, it's fine to complain about something mundane once in a while, but I doubt Baubius' entire purpose in this thread and I really don't view them as anything other than some angry SCP reject trying to derail it.

This is a website for laughing at retards, not some autistic crusade.

 

[Punished “Venom” pH]

Roget, I'm kind of curious, how do you get ideas for SCPs (or nowadays, RPCs)?

I write what I know

This is a website for laughing at retards, not some autistic crusade.

What a philosophical nightmare

 

[BurnerPhone]

Spoiler

View attachment 1981673

That's just the head meds talking I know you don't mean it. People go out of their way to offer critique to you and all you want is the same environment you had at SCP. You're rapidly becoming my favorite lolcow btw how long do you think you'll last before you meltdown on RPC?

 

[LordSifr]

This only the second most pedantic and disrespectful response to a kind offer of critique I have ever read in RPC.

 

[alanshaffer3293]

This only the second most pedantic and disrespectful response to a kind offer of critique I have ever read in RPC.

What was the first?

 

[Cool Dog]

SCP reminds me of another autistic project out of 4chan, fluffies, but as ass-retarded as that community is at least they didnt let a bunch of tumblrfags take over their hobby like SCP /x/'s did.

 

[AnOminous]

SCP reminds me of another autistic project out of 4chan, fluffies, but as ass-retarded as that community is at least they didnt let a bunch of tumblrfags take over their hobby like SCP /x/'s did.

What did you expect, /x/ is literally a bunch of schizophrenics.

 

[Cool Dog]

What did you expect, /x/ is literally a bunch of schizophrenics.

I expected them to at least have some balls left

 

[Baubius]

You're rapidly becoming my favorite lolcow btw how long do you think you'll last before you meltdown on RPC?

Not long. If this is Rogette's response to RPC's higher standards, she'll crack sooner than we think.

 

[Funny Valentine]

You know, now that I look at it, I think what Rogette is saying is that we should probably give her more constructive feedback for her work, like giving pros and cons so she could learn what she could do better in the future. And to be entirely honest, Keter Duty is still one of my favorite 001 proposals for how dumb yet fun the idea sounds.

 

[LordSifr]

You know, now that I look at it, I think what Rogette is saying is that we should probably give her more constructive feedback for her work, like giving pros and cons so she could learn what she could do better in the future. And to be entirely honest, Keter Duty is still one of my favorite 001 proposals for how dumb yet fun the idea sounds.

Not going to lie, "your critique is pedantic and I will ignore it" is not an attitude that invites further critique.

 

[Punished “Venom” pH]

Not going to lie, "your critique is pedantic and I will ignore it" is not an attitude that invites further critique.

Show me where I asked anyone here for critique?

 

[shnoopsis]

I'm going to bring up a different issue, an issue that lasted on the wiki for 11 years. An article by AdminBright titled 'Doctor Doctor Doctor'. It contained the following segment:
For context, the article describes the author's SCP self insert 'Dr. Bright', who, through sheer bad luck following an experiment, had their consciousness imprinted on every living thing on earth.
Including underage girls.
While I don't want to be dramatic, this section contains descriptions of a 13-year-old flashing over a webcam for a grown man.

"But they wouldn't listen to me!" Bright continued, poking away at his computer. Chat program, activated, webcam on, who's messaging… Oh, it's Bright, big surprise. He continues the rant , even as he lowers his shirt to display his young, nubile breasts to himself. "Of course they wouldn't, they're morons."

Bright leans on his broom, staring at the lovely young him on the webcam. "You know, I have some damn fine tits there." Bright whaps himself upside the head, lightly, and gestures at the debris. "I'm not going to get this cleaned up if I don't help! Besides, I'm underage."

Bright spins in his chair to peer at the screen more intently. "Am I under age?"

"Oh, totally." Bright replies, jiggling his breasts. "Only 13. But, double D's! Awesome, huh?"

Bright sighs at himself. How can he be like that, at a time like this? Well, it is him. Oh, another webcam invitation, this time for the oval office! How nice. "Hello Bright, you on to look at the tits too?"

I don't think I need to clarify any further why this is disgusting. Nobody went so far as to even criticize the article for 6 goddamn years pardon a handful of people, most of which were new to the site. Staff commented or even defended the article, such as Zyn, A Random Day, etc. who did not go so far as to actually point out the fact that there was underage sexualization on the site written by one of the staff. In fact, our very own PixelatedHarmony even defended the article, quote:

A story about apocalyptic prolific objectification is hardly an endorsement of the practice.

One case would be Ihp, one of the largest contributors to the site, who made a joke or two under the article but otherwise said nothing, and then, suddenly, after I drew attention to the article they decided to pop up and point out how the article was disgusting and had no place on the wiki! Radio silence for years on the subject and now that it's no longer fashionable to ignore the article, they've come back around to criticize it.
People change, to be sure, but they did nothing about it for 11 years. The one who edited out the pedophilia wasn't even staff! How convenient that someone else had to clean up AdminBright's mess.

After I called attention to it, it went from +234 to +211. Here's to getting it removed.

 

[ToS]

I'm going to bring up a different issue, an issue that lasted on the wiki for 11 years. An article by AdminBright titled 'Doctor Doctor Doctor'. It contained the following segment:
For context, the article describes the author's SCP self insert 'Dr. Bright', who, through sheer bad luck following an experiment, had their consciousness imprinted on every living thing on earth.
Including underage girls.
While I don't want to be dramatic, this section contains descriptions of a 13-year-old flashing over a webcam for a grown man.


I don't think I need to clarify any further why this is disgusting. Nobody went so far as to even criticize the article for 6 goddamn years pardon a handful of people, most of which were new to the site. Staff commented or even defended the article, such as Zyn, A Random Day, etc. who did not go so far as to actually point out the fact that there was underage sexualization on the site written by one of the staff. In fact, our very own PixelatedHarmony even defended the article, quote:


One case would be Ihp, one of the largest contributors to the site, who made a joke or two under the article but otherwise said nothing, and then, suddenly, after I drew attention to the article they decided to pop up and point out how the article was disgusting and had no place on the wiki! Radio silence for years on the subject and now that it's no longer fashionable to ignore the article, they've come back around to criticize it.
People change, to be sure, but they did nothing about it for 11 years. The one who edited out the pedophilia wasn't even staff! How convenient that someone else had to clean up AdminBright's mess.

After I called attention to it, it went from +234 to +211. Here's to getting it removed.

Definitely was going to give you a :late: here, but looking at the discussion page, kudos on jump-starting the site's consciousness and conversation on it.

And so begins the cancel culture of Bright, whose quiet slipping out the back door by the hushed nudging of staff will not be enough.

The site has a funny way of acknowledging in action what it won't admit in words. Yes, the community is better than that, Shaggy (I like 5311!), but only now, not sooner, and that is the real metric and commentary here.

Your herd compliance & complacency under the unspoken threat from on high of being ostracized is what allowed this. Popularity is a powerful moral anesthetic.

Edit: Prepared to be banned from SCP for your flagrant power-leveling.

 

[AnOminous]

I expected them to at least have some balls left

Antipsychotics nuke your balls.

For context, the article describes the author's SCP self insert 'Dr. Bright',

Anything involving Dr. Bright is gay, self-insert, Mary Sue bullshit.

 

[Cow-Chan]

The site has a funny way of acknowledging in action what it won't admit in words.

That's because they're not acknowledging it, they always knew about it. They're just trying to sneak the issues out from under everyone's noses in the hopes that they won't get caught*.

*They will

 

[McMitch4kf]

Show me where I asked anyone here for critique?

By posting your work in a public space, you are inherently inviting critique. Just because the format you are used to muddled the criticism for you doesn’t make that any less true.

 

[shnoopsis]

Definitely was going to give you a :late: here, but looking at the discussion page, kudos on jump-starting the site's consciousness and conversation on it.

And so begins the cancel culture of Bright, whose quiet slipping out the back door by the hushed nudging of staff will not be enough.

The site has a funny way of acknowledging in action what it won't admit in words. Yes, the community is better than that, Shaggy (I like 5311!), but only now, not sooner, and that is the real metric and commentary here.

Your herd compliance & complacency under the unspoken threat from on high of being ostracized is what allowed this. Popularity is a powerful moral anesthetic.

Edit: Prepared to be banned from SCP for your flagrant power-leveling.

I was already banned from the wiki, because I vandalized the pedophilia article in an attempt to draw attention to it. The ban was justified, let me be clear. I've gotten more attention drawn to the pedophilia by bringing it up over the wiki, discord, here, etc, than I did by acting like a child vandalizing pages. I'm glad they banned me for that, if they hadn't, that would be a lack of character. Vandalism isn't justifiable. There are better ways of going about it, which I have also done. And so, here we are.

I am going to say, my disciplinary thread did get admins to look over the article again, looking at the discussion for both my thread and the article.

By posting your work in a public space, you are inherently inviting critique. Just because the format you are used to muddled the criticism for you doesn’t make that any less true.

I hate the word and I'm pretty sure y'all do too, but that is undoubtedly very based of you to say.