Secret Gamer Girl / SecretGamerGrrl / Googleshng / "Violet Hargrave" / Jacob Lawrence (Jake) Alley / Violet Cassandra Ocean - Delusional Zoe Quinn Stalker, Libelous Tweeter, Thirsty Gnome, Faux-Tranny Neckbeard Incel, Micropenis, "Known Troubled Person", Creator of "Massive vs the Masses", Self-Described "Noise Making Thing"; Lives in New London, CT

How will Disembodicon end?

  • Jake forgets about it in a week

    Votes: 56 8.0%
  • Jake spergs about it for weeks, but it's 'too much effort' to do and he cancels it

    Votes: 104 14.9%
  • Someone else does the same thing but competent, Jake rages for years

    Votes: 60 8.6%
  • Jake cancels it due to paranoia

    Votes: 27 3.9%
  • Jake holds it, no one shows up

    Votes: 24 3.4%
  • Jake holds it, only 5 gross troons show up, spend entire time getting googleshng'd at

    Votes: 63 9.0%
  • Jake holds it, bans everyone for being 'secret nazi agents'

    Votes: 30 4.3%
  • Jake uses it as a scam for the next few weeks, then cancels it

    Votes: 63 9.0%
  • Jake holds it and it becomes a great success and makes Chelasy love him (lol)

    Votes: 22 3.2%
  • Jake dies of Coronavirus

    Votes: 249 35.7%

  • Total voters
    698

Haramburger

kiwifarms.net
To be fair, it's hard to design a game without playtesters because you are an autistic weirdo with such a deeply unpleasant personality even tabletop neckbeards shun you.
Same thing with Massive Vs. Masses, it was reviewed as pretty unbalanced by the few people who ever played. I sort of want to find and buy a copy just to post every card and tile in thread for Kiwis to play with one another and actually deconstruct it in-depth.
 

xX_rAcE_wAr_420_Xx

Jamaican' the crime rate go down
kiwifarms.net
Well, let's take a look at this monster, shall we?

[*The intent of the Swashbuckler was to be a hybrid of the Fighter and Gunslinger, combining some strengths of the fighter, most notably an extreme level of skill with a specific weapon, and the grit gimmick of the Gunslinger, without the fighter's weapon versatility, feat selection, or armor use, nor the gunslinger's range. The end result however came out with weakened versions of both strengths[1] , extra flaws neither base class has[2] , suggesting the designers were treating it as a rogue alternative, core mechanics which simply do not work due to an action economy bottleneck, and truly ridiculous stat requirements. This redesign is meant to recapture the intended flavor, and satisfy the basic condition of being better with a specific weapon build than a fighter, balanced against the fact that the fighter brings double feats to the table, and secondary specialties in other weapons for more versatility.*]


Paizo's Swashbuckler takes basically nothing from fighters, several gunslinger deeds which are only interesting/useful when performed at range.
It is straight up not viable for a frontline class not to have a good fort save, and dealing predominantly precision damage hamstrings them even more than being essentially locked to one weapon.
Well, he wanted to build a fighter with gunslinger grit. He doesn't understand that, yes, the Swashbuckler is a rogue/fighter mixture, probably because he doesn't know the history very far. Errol Flynn, Jake, not Conan the Pirate.

"Action Economy Bottleneck"... sigh.

So... a rogue? This also means he's never seen anyone build a light fighter with weapon finesse tweaks.


So, they're weaker, meaning he thinks the player will put their main stat in Dex. But if they can match the fighter, what makes it so a fighter is still the master of combat? Well, no acts of strength and easily over-encumbered?

That's dumb.

Nothing grating. His choice of high skill points makes it worth grabbing for the extra skills.

Because Knowledge (Engineering) for a fighter is presumed seige engines, fortresses, city walls, how to drop a building or reinforce it. For Gunslinger's it's presumed small mechanical engineering for caring for their pistols and also for building fortifications.

The Swashbuckler doesn't need it and it leads to skill bloat.
Well, so far, it's not TOO bad. It already shows a few cracks. Not really knowing what the Swashbuckler is, not really understanding why the other two classes have a skill they have. Too many skill points, and an expectation it'll be played a certain way not how a player will play it, which will be to maximize their survivability and combat.

This is Ivory Tower so far.

Let's keep going!

HIs BAB (Which for the unintiated is how easy it is to hit) is Good. The saves are Good. There's no offset so far. His Fortitude and Reflex go up every 3 levels, and start at +1. His Will goes up every 5 but goes to +1 at 2nd level. 2nd Level really pushes his stats up. +2 to hit, +3 to save against Fortitude and Reflex, +1 to save against Will. That's actually really good. At 2nd level he also gets 4 abilities total, and either 8 or 12 skill points plus the Int bonus. This class starts to break down by 2nd level for a lot of games. Profecient with light and martial weapons as well as light armor and bucklers. Hmm, that's not too limiting. But let's start checking abilities.

This is so vague as to be meaningless. A risky action? Engaging in combat is a risky action, you fucking wailing attic haunt. "Reducing a creature.... zero or fewer" is kind of bothersome. Does that mean with a successful check they just outright kill the fucker? Hit Dice aren't the ONLY measure of power in Pathfinder. This is WAAAY too vague. If I was handed this, I'd kick it back right here.


They recover too quickly, plain and simple.


So, high crit rate. He says this, but I don't see it so far, unless you can use the Bravado to automatically confirm crits.


So he's building a crit machine.

Lovely.


So, the end is "Do my work for me" and itemizing the list is going to endear him to people. It looks like he doesn't really get how Grit works or Panache. I've had players play Witch/Gunslinger combos, a player play and Elf with Gunslinger and the Arcane Archer PrC so he could shoot through walls (which was funny) and this makes me kind of look at it sideways. Crits are REALLY fucking deadly for damage output and it looks like he's trying to make a crit machine.

Plus, he doesn't seem to get that his "action economy bottleneck" is actually designed to put some balance into the Swashbuckler (I"m too lazy to read up on it right now. I'm half awake and doing this just to ramble) and removing that makes me think less of Zorro and more of a blender.
Anyway, the first ability is vague, nebulous, and teeters on being overpowered due to a few simple lines. It's also obvious he has no idea how things actually work at the table. It's an ability gained a first level and already has the potential to break the bank. High Dex, with weapon finesse, high Cha, and your first level character is Zorro on meth with apparently "you crit CONSTANTLY" added in, meaning it's frog in a blender time for the bad guys.

This is why I vet splatbooks carefully.

Let's move on.

Nine Ring Broadsword and Scimitar? Holy shit, Batman. The Nine Ring Broadsword has a x3 crit multiplier, the scimitar crits on an 18-20. If the Swashbuckler is the go to class for stacking crits, then these weapons are the ONLY weapons people are going to take. See, if you get a nice little crit booster, you can pull that scimitar to crit on a 16-20 and the broadsword to do x6 damage.

That's devestating. Anway...

Now, for those of you who don't know, weapon finesse lets you use your Dex bonus for hit bonuses with melee weapons instead of strength. There's one for damage too, but I don't remember it right off the top of my head without my morning cup of coffee. (Yay, night shift).

BOOM! There it is.

So basically, this power is 2 feats in one. Slashing Grace and Fencing Grace both apply Dex to damage with some restrictions, but this is just... fuck.

So I can use this with a Buckler, at First Level. That means ONE stat covers my armor bonus, Reflex Save bonus, bonuses to Hit and Damage, and my bonus to Initiative, because of this fucking power right here. And it can be use with Crit Monster weapons. That ONE stat does five things, making it the main one you worry about and put everything you can into because that's all that matters. Add in the fact a lot of the skills are Dex based, and that's an even bigger bonus.

This is not boding well.


This musing from him shows that he doesn't understand what making one stat the end all be all for a class does wrong. Dex now controls: About 1/3 to 1/2 the skills, Damage Bonus, Hit Bonus, AC Bonus, Reflex Save Bonus, Init Bonus.


Most DM's, when a character is generated and the player wants a weird weapon, the DM just gives it to them for free.

Then it fails the test. It does more than makes strength useless, it makes the stat spread balance fucked. Nice job, wailing gnome.


Oh, well, pardon those GM's who don't want to keep track of fucking toothpicks.

Yeah, you know... COMBAT. Faggot

Int for Skill Points, Cha for Bravado points, that's all so far. If the class has no dump stat, then it suffers from Paladin/Monk-itis, so those stats better provide some monster benefits. But so far, Strength and Con and Wis seem to be nothing so far.
His first ability (given at first level) is too vague to be easily used, the second one breaks the fucking class. Nice job, Attic Wailing Gnome. This class would be yeeted by any competent GM.

Fuck this, I'm not critiquing and fixing or making recommendation to this bullshit "class" except to say that no GM in their right mind will allow it. Take a look at this...


No, you irredeemable faggot, it's NOT fine.

At 3rd level they're getting AC bonuses, Init bonuses, use their Dex for everything, can start the combat with their best power up (And that list of Bravado powers? It uses an exploding dice mechanic at least once), and WORSE, is that they gain the AC bonus through the whole thing, eventually culminating in a +5. And it's a DODGE bonus, which is only used by a few things and stackable with damn near everything.

Stack on Bonus Feats at 4th level, AND the ability to swap out their old bonus feats for new ones if they want, and this fucking bullshit:


Look at that nice thing. Look at the fucking thing. For comparison:



Jake's class gets it at 5th level. A dedicated "By the book" fighter doesn't get it till 8th.

So they get improved critical 3 levels early. For free. AND they get an attack and damage bonus on top of it.

This is an unbalanced shit-heap of a class and his confusion on why Paizo didn't do it like his shows that he doesn't really understand the game as much as he thinks he does.

I don't judge him for not moving to 2E, I bough the books, ran it, my group hated it, we dropped back to PF 1E.

I judge him for writing shit like this and claiming to be a game designer.
Thank you for this, I was curious how it stacked up but I don't really know PF1e enough to gauge it. Looks like it was basically as poorly balanced as everyone assumed. The Improved Crit part is hilarious; how do you not do a basic smell test of "does this piece of content dramatically differ from current options?"

It's an interesting look into his mindset, that "make a dex fighter viable" turned into "make DEX usable for fucking everything, at max effectiveness, IN ADDITION TO a busted gimmick". The sad part is that with some work this could have been a cool idea; the crit-fishing part I mean. What if it was a nimble, somewhat skill-based class that focused on getting crits, but didn't just do raw damage output? Use that stupid bravado mechanic to create a fun little set of tactics where you crit-fish to get resources, then use them to debuff enemies? Or buff allies, or something? Spend a round delivering precise attacks in order to strip a ton of armor from an enemy, lower their saves, make fun of their tiny dick; the possibilities are endless. But no, it's just raw DPS lmao.

Semi-related, I am kind of curious about PF2e. I actually got my hands on a copy of the book, it looks kind of neat, I sort of want to trick my friends into trying it to see how quickly they hate it or if it's kind of cool.
 

AirdropShitposts

That's a side effect of the marijuana poisoning!
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
An open letter:
1620111063075.png


I can't believe how passive aggressive this faggot can be. Especially for a nearly 40 year old dude. It can make me want to deliver a swift blow to his kidneys and knock him into the ravine.
 

Next Task

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Honestly, if I had the opportunity to play a tabletop game with Jake, I'd be tempted. Don't get me wrong, the game itself would be a miserable and frustrating experience, but to witness his derangements and hang-ups in real time, in real life, would be fascinating.
Ugh, I wouldn't. Witnessing his derangements in person would be fascinating, but being stuck in a game with him for any proper length of time would just be shit. We know exactly what it would be like, we know exactly what it would sound like thanks to his streams, and we even know that he'd be much more passive-aggressive in person.

What would be interesting is getting the chance to be in a gaming situation with Jake where everyone turns on him at the table, in the game, rather than what likely happens usually which is that people just suddenly ghost on him, the games falling apart for, to Jake, no fault of his own. Actually getting a chance to call him on his bullshit in real time would be interesting, but is entirely unlikely. More possible, and possibly equally painful, is if the group found an in-game reason to kill off his character, proving that he hasn't carefully picked and chosen every obscure way to make himself the best there is at what he does.

Basically, I'd like to see Jake ragequit in real time, in part for the fun of contrasting how he behaves in person vs. how he later describes it. My belief is he's passive as fuck in person, but would try to rules-lawyer his way out of all the negative consequences, and that might be worth a couple of hours dealing with that lump of whizzard-based lack of creativity at the table.
 

AnOminous

each malted milk ball might be their last
True & Honest Fan
Retired Staff
kiwifarms.net
You know, I got all excited when I searched for "Unchained Swashbuckler", thinking perhaps I stumbled on some new Jake accounts, but actually it's just a very unoriginal name that several people before him had already used.
"Unchained" is usually a name for a variant of a previously existing class. Sometimes mods of games will create a whole set of such characters, often removing weaknesses or debuffs or adding new abilities or both. It's not as unbalanced if every character class in the game is revamped like this, but at that point, you're creating a super party to face super enemies.

In Jake's case, I think it's pretty obvious he was just being a munchkin and trying to monster stomp over everyone else in the game with his "clever" rules.
 

Konstantin Romanov

kiwifarms.net
An open letter:
View attachment 2141237

I can't believe how passive aggressive this faggot can be. Especially for a nearly 40 year old dude. It can make me want to deliver a swift blow to his kidneys and knock him into the ravine.
"Dear unspecified people, please stop associating with other unspecified people because they have done unspecified acts."
 

Tragi-Chan

A thousand years old
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
An open letter:
View attachment 2141237

I can't believe how passive aggressive this faggot can be. Especially for a nearly 40 year old dude. It can make me want to deliver a swift blow to his kidneys and knock him into the ravine.
This is a pretty common technique among people who want to control others. Berate them for breaking the rules, never state what the rules are. Do that for long enough and the victim will soon be constantly walking on eggshells. Standard technique in spousal abuse and cults.

For it to be really effective, though, you need to also be nice occasionally, and ideally be in a position of importance in the person’s life. When Jake starts getting abusive like this, people can just put him on mute. If it’s a choice between completely reworking their social interactions and just ignoring some impossible-to-please whiner on Twitter, it’s not exactly a difficult choice.
 

Smaug's Smokey Hole

Sweeney did nothing wrong.
kiwifarms.net
This is a pretty common technique among people who want to control others. Berate them for breaking the rules, never state what the rules are. Do that for long enough and the victim will soon be constantly walking on eggshells. Standard technique in spousal abuse and cults.

For it to be really effective, though, you need to also be nice occasionally, and ideally be in a position of importance in the person’s life. When Jake starts getting abusive like this, people can just put him on mute. If it’s a choice between completely reworking their social interactions and just ignoring some impossible-to-please whiner on Twitter, it’s not exactly a difficult choice.
Yeah, the successful abuser is someone a person don't want to lose for one reason or another, like a spouse or employer. Jake is a whiny twitter account, there is nothing to lose by getting rid of him.
It would be a lot of fun if he ended up DMing for a whole table of players who have no interest in forced feminization and just no-sell all his whizzardry.
He complained in the logs about a similar scenario, I think it was in a Shadowrun game where he was a player and not the DM. He tried to get the guy that played it wrong kicked out from the group and it seemed to end in a "I'm not fired, I quit!" situation where he was no longer playing Shadowrun.
 

GargoyleGorl

アイデンティティクライシス
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
This is a pretty common technique among people who want to control others. Berate them for breaking the rules, never state what the rules are. Do that for long enough and the victim will soon be constantly walking on eggshells. Standard technique in spousal abuse and cults.

For it to be really effective, though, you need to also be nice occasionally, and ideally be in a position of importance in the person’s life. When Jake starts getting abusive like this, people can just put him on mute. If it’s a choice between completely reworking their social interactions and just ignoring some impossible-to-please whiner on Twitter, it’s not exactly a difficult choice.
Additionally, he keeps talking about these vicious lies people keep telling about him, without ever addressing (or even articulating) them.

So if you know nothing of Jake and hear a wild rumor that he's not actually a 90 lb, 5-foot nothing, red headed dream girl, but rather, say, a 400 lb, 6-foot something, bearded dude, it's probably one of those lies he keeps talking about.

It's very manipulative. He's trying to create a sort of smokescreen where everyone's in too much doubt about everything all the time to ever confront him with any of his actual wrongdoings.

I really wonder what was the straw that broke the camel's back with some of his old acquaintances. It's impossible he didn't creep on someone, the questions are how many people, who they were, how many times it happened, and how bad it really was.
Yeah, the successful abuser is someone a person don't want to lose for one reason or another, like a spouse or employer. Jake is a whiny twitter account, there is nothing to lose by getting rid of him.

He complained in the logs about a similar scenario, I think it was in a Shadowrun game where he was a player and not the DM. He tried to get the guy that played it wrong kicked out from the group and it seemed to end in a "I'm not fired, I quit!" situation where he was no longer playing Shadowrun.
Yeah, iirc, it was a relatively trivial thing. It didn't make an enormous difference to the game, so the DM shrugged and let the offending player get away with it since everyone was having fun.

Weird how Jake bitches about mean old DMs who love rules more than they love fun, when the opposite situation seemed to give him a nervous breakdown. And by "weird," I mean "predictable," because when Jake does it, it's all in good fun -- but when someone else does it, it's the end of the world.

Which brings us back to whatever incident (or series thereof) got him ejected from his little clique.

Edit: Grammar
 

Wallace

Cram it in me, baby!
kiwifarms.net
Weird how Jake bitches about mean old DMs who love rules more than they love fun, when the opposite situation seemed to give him a nervous breakdown. And by "weird," I mean "predictable," because when Jake does it, it's all in good fun -- but when someone else does it, it's the end of the world.

Which brings us back to whatever incident (or series thereof) got him ejected from his little clique.

Edit: Grammar
We only see Jake through the filter of his Twitter account. Imagine how socially impaired he must be IRL.
 

Charlie Delicious

kiwifarms.net
From one of the passages quoted in @Imago's post:

This sperg wanted to create a serious 3D video game, and thought that by scribbling down some notes, he had already done most of the work (70%) - and actually making the game (code + graphics) would only be the last small step (30%)? :story:

Imagine planning a software product (!) and only allocating 5% of the man-hours to programming.

More evidence that Jake massively overvalues his ideas and his unedited, barely-legible writing, while undervaluing the actual brunt of the work that goes into things. That work is, of course, beneath Jake, who sees himself as an "ideas man" (woman), not a worker ant.

Alas, it looks like no computer programmers or 3D artists stepped forward to do this teeny tiny bit of work for Jake (How selfish of them!), and thus, it seems, the game's release was tragically foiled.
I see Jake attended the Zoe Quinn school of video game development
 

Ashen One

"Ew, a rainbow puked on me."
kiwifarms.net
Additionally, he keeps talking about these vicious lies people keep telling about him, without ever addressing (or even articulating) them.
What ever could you possibly be talking about? Violet says it all the time. Those dastardly transphobes who hate her keep telling people that she eats babies! And everyone, no matter who they are or if they have known Violet personally for decades, believes the terrble nazis over poor little Violet for reasons unknown.
I see Jake attended the Zoe Quinn school of video game development
Jake fucking wishes he had the assets needed to make use of good ol' CHELSAY's game development methods.
 

Smaug's Smokey Hole

Sweeney did nothing wrong.
kiwifarms.net
We only see Jake through the filter of his Twitter account. Imagine how socially impaired he must be IRL.
Jake's got 8k followers and he's trying to use nondescript seething to indirectly alarm maybe 8 of those 8,000 to change or else someone among those 8 will lose him. That tactic was used in the 90's. For a reason, back then most of the people that read someones proto-social media were the people they knew personally so being vague put people on edge.

Even if he would be fighting the good fight, gods plan and all men=women then he goes to heaven, no one on this earth will ever be better off mentally or physically from befriending him even if it's online. It's a pure decline, he's a rot.

edit: he's not even the no-hoper that asks to borrow money if he befriends you, he's the no-hoper that befriends you and ask for money.
 
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