Secret Gamer Girl / SecretGamerGrrl / Googleshng / "Violet Hargrave" / Jacob Lawrence (Jake) Alley / World Domination, LLC - Delusional Zoe Quinn Stalker, Libelous Tweeter, Thirsty Gnome, Faux-Tranny Neckbeard Incel, Micropenis, "Known Troubled Person", Creator of "Massive vs the Masses", Self-Described "Noise Making Thing"; Lives in Niantic, CT

MyOtherNicknameIsAPun

Neck sleeve owner. Cybermercenary in my spare time
kiwifarms.net
Had Jake paid attention back in school he could have his "roots in comedy" explained by now. As the immortal warning from your primary school teacher goes:

"They are not laughing with you, they are laughing at you"

I'm eagerly awaiting the amazing set from Jake, he could put a twist on old classic, like

"Have you noticed that people who tweet less than you are boring nobodies and people tweeting more than you have no life?"
 

Maggots on a Train v2

new and improved account
kiwifarms.net
Alley calls for violence towards people who "misgender" another person:



It's as if he doesn't realize that most people have something called "social skills," and know how to navigate various "touchy" situations.
tl;dr
"It's a mortal sin to misgender a troon, but if you happen to ever meet Violet Hargrave at a convention, bravely covering her admission badge, just go ahead and pretend she's male so Jake doesn't get embarassed."
 

TerribleIdeas™

Master of Cunt-Puppets
kiwifarms.net
List most troons, Jake has a serious case of victim mentality. Because his identity is fixed as a permanent victim, everything bad that happens to him is both harmful and not his fault. He's also got a seriously black and white view of friendship that is deeply rooted in Geek Social Fallacies. It goes like this:

A and B connect over some common interest. A is an obnoxious sperg and annoys or creeps on B. B decides to end the interaction, either by ghosting A or outright telling A that he's being an annoying creeper. A can't comprehend that he did anything wrong, so he must invent some reason as to why B has "betrayed" the friendship. The most common answer is that B was abusive, since a real friend wouldn't betray someone; they were only pretending to be friends with A in order to use and abuse him out of malice. This allows A to claim victim points and attack B.
DARVO.
 

Smaug's Smokey Hole

Halloween 3
kiwifarms.net
tl;dr
"It's a mortal sin to misgender a troon, but if you happen to ever meet Violet Hargrave at a convention, bravely covering her admission badge, just go ahead and pretend she's male so Jake doesn't get embarassed."
That makes me wonder if he sells his fantasy persona like some kind of pimp. "yeah you book violet for the panel, but you have to accept and never mention that..."
 

Kosher Dill

Pumpkin Chips
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
That makes me wonder if he sells his fantasy persona like some kind of pimp. "yeah you book violet for the panel, but you have to accept and never mention that..."
Well, the one picture we have of him on a panel is with people who were already his friends. I doubt he's ever tried to use the Violet persona on complete strangers IRL.
 

kaien

kiwifarms.net
Well, the one picture we have of him on a panel is with people who were already his friends. I doubt he's ever tried to use the Violet persona on complete strangers IRL.
He's never gone to a con on his own as far as I can tell. GaymerX and Gen Con were riding Katherine Cross's coattails, PAX East was with Talking Time, and at that old NonCon thing he was part of some local clique.

The funny thing, he could get on gaming convention panels if he wanted to. We know his credits are pretty weak tea, but he's still got his name on published products and that's plenty if you want a smaller con to give you a platform. They wouldn't comp his travel or anything like that, but they'd give him a panel to stand up and promote himself. He just doesn't have the nerve without someone like Cross holding his hand.
 

Apteryx Owenii

formerly a jerkop, wants to avoid merge
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
He's never gone to a con on his own as far as I can tell. GaymerX and Gen Con were riding Katherine Cross's coattails, PAX East was with Talking Time, and at that old NonCon thing he was part of some local clique.

The funny thing, he could get on gaming convention panels if he wanted to. We know his credits are pretty weak tea, but he's still got his name on published products and that's plenty if you want a smaller con to give you a platform. They wouldn't comp his travel or anything like that, but they'd give him a panel to stand up and promote himself. He just doesn't have the nerve without someone like Cross holding his hand.
In this regard and several others, Jake Alley is less competent than Chris Chan. If that isn't a sad indictment on his life, I don't know what is.
 

Hellfire

Sugar Cubes
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
And apparently he has Comedy Central special tier friends...which I'm going to assume means Amy Schumer once retweeted him 4 years ago.
Jake somehow knew a comedian named Jackie Kashian and was on her Dork Forest podcast in 2010. https://archive.fo/0QkKV#selection-5872.1-5968.11
upload_2019-2-12_21-35-48.png

Jake's interview on the podcast starts around 5:30 and lasts for about half an hour: https://my.mixtape.moe/cwxlbj.mp3

The best part of this starts around 8:48, in his email to her before getting on the podcast Jake told Kashian that he was playing arcade games before he could walk and she questions him about it.

"I know you've been playing games, forever."
"Mmmhmm"
"You said that you could play uprights [arcade machines] before you could walk?"
"I actually did, yeah"
"Was that an exaggeration, that's not an exaggeration?"
"No, that was not an exaggeration, uh"
"Okay"
"When I was like less than a year old there was this arcade in town and my mother would just take the stroller I was in over into the arcade, park it n front of one of the Pac-Man machines and uh [Jake chuckles, likely realizing how stupid this sounds]"
"And let you just..."
"Yeah"
"...climb and fiddle with it?"
"Mmmhmm"
"Alright. okay"
"And she kept doing it until the point where, you know, I really did learn how to play Pac-Man halfway competently before I was walking."
:story:
 

GleamingTheQ-Bert

Christian Slaterkin
kiwifarms.net
Jake somehow knew a comedian named Jackie Kashian and was on her Dork Forest podcast in 2010. https://archive.fo/0QkKV#selection-5872.1-5968.11
View attachment 664364

Jake's interview on the podcast starts around 5:30 and lasts for about half an hour: https://my.mixtape.moe/cwxlbj.mp3

The best part of this starts around 8:48, in his email to her before getting on the podcast Jake told Kashian that he was playing arcade games before he could walk and she questions him about it.

"I know you've been playing games, forever."
"Mmmhmm"
"You said that you could play uprights [arcade machines] before you could walk?"
"I actually did, yeah"
"Was that an exaggeration, that's not an exaggeration?"
"No, that was not an exaggeration, uh"
"Okay"
"When I was like less than a year old there was this arcade in town and my mother would just take the stroller I was in over into the arcade, park it n front of one of the Pac-Man machines and uh [Jake chuckles, likely realizing how stupid this sounds]"
"And let you just..."
"Yeah"
"...climb and fiddle with it?"
"Mmmhmm"
"Alright. okay"
"And she kept doing it until the point where, you know, I really did learn how to play Pac-Man halfway competently before I was walking."
:story:
No wonder his dad pushed him into traffic.

He was just trying to teach him Frogger.
 

Hellfire

Sugar Cubes
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Jake Googleshnged after getting triggered by an NPR report about school shooters, insists that he knows the real truth and all the experts are wrong.
upload_2019-2-13_5-0-50.png
upload_2019-2-13_5-1-15.png
upload_2019-2-13_5-1-24.png
upload_2019-2-13_5-2-2.png
Jake is still butthurt about that game developer's union account having to issue a retraction after they found out Jake lied about Soha El-Sabaawi. http://archive.fo/KWsrl
upload_2019-2-13_5-5-23.png
Note how Jake always fixates on this one game dev union account and not, say, Katherine Cross, who also had to issue an apology for retweeting Jake's attack on Soha. It's also never his fault for lying about Soha, it's always the fault of deepFlaw or anyone else from altgames who remembered him being a harassing liar. http://archive.fo/b3EJn
upload_2019-2-13_5-7-7.png
Cow crossover.
upload_2019-2-13_5-10-58.png
Back to shamelessly begging for free money and toys. Reminder, Jake doesn't "have enough income" because he has refused to get a job for the past decade plus.
upload_2019-2-13_5-11-26.png
TWITTER
upload_2019-2-13_4-58-31.png
upload_2019-2-13_5-28-6.png
 
Last edited:

Kosher Dill

Pumpkin Chips
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Jake Googleshnged after getting triggered by an NPR report about school shooters, insists that he knows the real truth and all the experts are wrong.
You know, Jake is very lucky that he was already through high school, or just about, before the Columbine incident put school shootings in the forefront of the American mind. Because the dude probably would have been profiled as a potential shooter in a heartbeat. No friends, no girlfriends, not part of any school activities, low academic achievement, a toxic attitude, and a massive sense of entitlement and grievance. And if he actually did get regularly beaten up like he claims he did (a BIG "if" there) that would just add more fuel to the fire.
Fortunately for the residents of Niantic, Jake's family was a bunch of lefties who'd never own a gun, and Jake himself is far too passive to engage in violence.
 

About Us

The Kiwi Farms is about eccentric individuals and communities on the Internet. We call them lolcows because they can be milked for amusement or laughs. Our community is bizarrely diverse and spectators are encouraged to join the discussion.

We do not place intrusive ads, host malware, sell data, or run crypto miners with your browser. If you experience these things, you have a virus. If your malware system says otherwise, it is faulty.

Supporting the Forum

How to Help

The Kiwi Farms is constantly attacked by insane people and very expensive to run. It would not be here without community support.

BTC: 1DgS5RfHw7xA82Yxa5BtgZL65ngwSk6bmm
ETH: 0xc1071c60Ae27C8CC3c834E11289205f8F9C78CA5
BAT: 0xc1071c60Ae27C8CC3c834E11289205f8F9C78CA5
LTC: LSZsFCLUreXAZ9oyc9JRUiRwbhkLCsFi4q
XMR: 438fUMciiahbYemDyww6afT1atgqK3tSTX25SEmYknpmenTR6wvXDMeco1ThX2E8gBQgm9eKd1KAtEQvKzNMFrmjJJpiino