• A bunch of damn smokers.
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Secret Gamer Girl / SecretGamerGrrl / Googleshng / "Violet Hargrave" / Jacob Lawrence (Jake) AlleyDelusional Stalker, Gnome, Faux-Tranny Neckbeard Incel, "Troubled Person"; Lives in Niantic, CT

Discussion in 'La Zorra' started by chimpburgers, Sep 1, 2016.

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Rat Kings are members of the LGBTQ community who use their position, influence, and connections for personal gain. While they are almost always transgender, it is not a requirement.

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Article Available:
The Lolcow Wiki has an article on Jake Alley
  1. tl;dr
    "It's a mortal sin to misgender a troon, but if you happen to ever meet Violet Hargrave at a convention, bravely covering her admission badge, just go ahead and pretend she's male so Jake doesn't get embarassed."
     
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  2. DARVO.
     
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  3. That makes me wonder if he sells his fantasy persona like some kind of pimp. "yeah you book violet for the panel, but you have to accept and never mention that..."
     
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  4. Well, the one picture we have of him on a panel is with people who were already his friends. I doubt he's ever tried to use the Violet persona on complete strangers IRL.
     
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  5. JESSE SINGAL!
    SGG1.png ökl.png sgg.png Clearly, they should have written an article about Jake Alley instead
     
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  6. He's never gone to a con on his own as far as I can tell. GaymerX and Gen Con were riding Katherine Cross's coattails, PAX East was with Talking Time, and at that old NonCon thing he was part of some local clique.

    The funny thing, he could get on gaming convention panels if he wanted to. We know his credits are pretty weak tea, but he's still got his name on published products and that's plenty if you want a smaller con to give you a platform. They wouldn't comp his travel or anything like that, but they'd give him a panel to stand up and promote himself. He just doesn't have the nerve without someone like Cross holding his hand.
     
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  7. In this regard and several others, Jake Alley is less competent than Chris Chan. If that isn't a sad indictment on his life, I don't know what is.
     
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  8. You could come up with a whole laundry list of ways CWC is more functional than Jake. He can drive, just for starters.
     
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  9. Jake somehow knew a comedian named Jackie Kashian and was on her Dork Forest podcast in 2010. https://archive.fo/0QkKV#selection-5872.1-5968.11
    upload_2019-2-12_21-35-48.png

    Jake's interview on the podcast starts around 5:30 and lasts for about half an hour: https://my.mixtape.moe/cwxlbj.mp3

    The best part of this starts around 8:48, in his email to her before getting on the podcast Jake told Kashian that he was playing arcade games before he could walk and she questions him about it.

    "I know you've been playing games, forever."
    "Mmmhmm"
    "You said that you could play uprights [arcade machines] before you could walk?"
    "I actually did, yeah"
    "Was that an exaggeration, that's not an exaggeration?"
    "No, that was not an exaggeration, uh"
    "Okay"
    "When I was like less than a year old there was this arcade in town and my mother would just take the stroller I was in over into the arcade, park it n front of one of the Pac-Man machines and uh [Jake chuckles, likely realizing how stupid this sounds]"
    "And let you just..."
    "Yeah"
    "...climb and fiddle with it?"
    "Mmmhmm"
    "Alright. okay"
    "And she kept doing it until the point where, you know, I really did learn how to play Pac-Man halfway competently before I was walking."
    :story:
     
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  10. No wonder his dad pushed him into traffic.

    He was just trying to teach him Frogger.
     
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  11. Jake Googleshnged after getting triggered by an NPR report about school shooters, insists that he knows the real truth and all the experts are wrong.
    upload_2019-2-13_5-0-50.png
    upload_2019-2-13_5-1-15.png
    upload_2019-2-13_5-1-24.png
    upload_2019-2-13_5-2-2.png
    Jake is still butthurt about that game developer's union account having to issue a retraction after they found out Jake lied about Soha El-Sabaawi. http://archive.fo/KWsrl
    upload_2019-2-13_5-5-23.png
    Note how Jake always fixates on this one game dev union account and not, say, Katherine Cross, who also had to issue an apology for retweeting Jake's attack on Soha. It's also never his fault for lying about Soha, it's always the fault of deepFlaw or anyone else from altgames who remembered him being a harassing liar. http://archive.fo/b3EJn
    upload_2019-2-13_5-7-7.png
    Cow crossover.
    upload_2019-2-13_5-10-58.png
    Back to shamelessly begging for free money and toys. Reminder, Jake doesn't "have enough income" because he has refused to get a job for the past decade plus.
    upload_2019-2-13_5-11-26.png
    TWITTER
    upload_2019-2-13_4-58-31.png
    upload_2019-2-13_5-28-6.png
     
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    #16571 Hellfire, Feb 13, 2019 at 5:14 AM
    Last edited: Feb 13, 2019 at 5:28 AM
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  12. You know, Jake is very lucky that he was already through high school, or just about, before the Columbine incident put school shootings in the forefront of the American mind. Because the dude probably would have been profiled as a potential shooter in a heartbeat. No friends, no girlfriends, not part of any school activities, low academic achievement, a toxic attitude, and a massive sense of entitlement and grievance. And if he actually did get regularly beaten up like he claims he did (a BIG "if" there) that would just add more fuel to the fire.
    Fortunately for the residents of Niantic, Jake's family was a bunch of lefties who'd never own a gun, and Jake himself is far too passive to engage in violence.
     
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  13. Homeless on a park bench on the rough streets of Niantic, CT, but still manages to access Twitter via his computer. :story:

    Screenshot_20190213-184957__01.jpg

    Also cow crossover.
     
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    neural

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  14. I'm beginning to have a negative pavlovian reaction to TF2's Spy on other forums thanks to Jake's e-begging. Rustled because I like their character designs in general but its now associating that french backstabbing suitfuck with Jake.
     
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  15. For fuck's sake, Jake. At least channel your misdirected self-hate into a boardgame about your Twitter martyrdom. Call it the Masses vs the Massive Part Two. Or the Trolls vs The Trollop.

    Oh, here's a good title. The Terror of Realistic Self-Assessment vs the Giant Jake Alley infantile ego-saurus.

    It can't fail.
     
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  16. He’s got it on a shopping cart, he pushes it around Niantic with suicide cat on his shoulder.
     
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  17. "too many lefties are too close to KF"

    So much for us being "alt right".
     
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  18. And the unsold copies of his game.
     
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  19. His very own Trail of Tears.
     
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  20. This is one topic on which I have previously and still must partially agree with Jake. Many of the talking heads are simply ignorant even though they'll blame all sorts of ridiculous things like video games, music, bullying. A lot of myths were created by Columbine and the one where these two guys were video-game playing misfits in the 'trenchcoat mafia' that went to school to kill the jock bullies that tormented them is particularly pernicious and still incorrectly colors the topic.

    That said, he goes from knowing a little to going off the rails by pretending to know a lot. Because of course nothing bad in this world can happen without it somehow being about GamerGate... even if it's something that happened 15 years before. If Jake Alley reads a book about the Civil War he will somehow decide that, no, it wasn't just about slavery but in fact it was about the same incel white right-wing movement that would later become GAMERGATEEEEE!
     
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