Lolcow SephirothSlave and BonitaPrime -

[HerebeDragons]

Just wondering if anyone else follows the continuing adventures of these two obsessed fangirls turned LOLCows.

Sephirothslave is a goth emo chick who decided that Sephiroth (from "Final Fantasy 7") was actually an angel communicating to her via the astral plane, where they got married (seriously). She's famous for her god-awful canon-destroying fanfics that she actually believes are legitimate novels and that star her self-insert Mary Sue OC as Sephiroth's TRUE AND HONEST sweetheart, and basically are all about how nothing in the games is Sephiroth's fault ever.

BonitaPrime, or TheRealMrsOptimusPrime, is her redneck and even less literate counterpart, with her obsessing being centered around Optimus Prime. Famous for stealing items off the "Transformers" movie sets as well as tracing artwork and claiming it's original, packing her home full of shoplifted "Transformers" merchandise apparently LEGALLY CHANGING HER LAST NAME TO "PRIME", and also for getting into constant hilarious fights with other fangirls.

Two real stars, here. :arrow:

 

[Hakurei]

Fangirls gone mad.
How hilarious.
Seen this kind of thing before.

 

[exball]

How exactly are these girls significant?

 

[HerebeDragons]

This forum is about LOLCows. What significance do Rob Ford or any of the other LOLCows discussed here have? I was just curious if anyone else was familiar with them.

 

[exball]

Not very lulzy ones. They just seem like retarded drama queens.

 

[Saney]

Fangirls have gone mad.
How hilariously bad.
Seen this thing before.

There, now it's a haiku.

 

[HerebeDragons]

Not very lulzy ones. They just seem like retarded drama queens.

I find Sephirothslave's hideous fanfics (and the sporkings thereof) to be pretty hilarious, personally. Possibly because I'm a big "Final Fantasy" fan myself.

 

[Saney]

Not very lulzy ones. They just seem like retarded drama queens.

I find Sephirothslave's hideous fanfics (and the sporkings thereof) to be pretty hilarious, personally. Possibly because I'm a big "Final Fantasy" fan myself.

Can you give us some quotes or excerpts or something? That would help.

 

[Da Pickle Monsta]

BonitaPrime sounds familiar, somehow. I think I may have run into her back when I was involved in Transformers fandom. It wasn't a particularly pleasant experience.

But then I've run into lots of Starscream fangirls and even one who would write terrible fanfiction where she was Megatron's wife and he would beat her.

 

[HerebeDragons]

Not very lulzy ones. They just seem like retarded drama queens.

I find Sephirothslave's hideous fanfics (and the sporkings thereof) to be pretty hilarious, personally. Possibly because I'm a big "Final Fantasy" fan myself.

Can you give us some quotes or excerpts or something? That would help.

You can find the entire spork of her two "novels", "Shinra High" and "Shinra SOLDIER" here. Long read, but worth it!

 

[The Nameless One]

>Emo girl obsessed with brooding prettyboy
>Redneck girl obsessed with sentient truck

Sounds about right.

 

[random_pickle]

Oh god SephirothSlave.

For those of us here thinking that she isn't lulzcow material, here are some of her quotes:

Spoiler

Okay, I know I shouldn't flame people...and I don't. In my heart and mind, however, I can list a whole legion of people who, in my personal opinion, should be shot...several times. Preferably at my hand. Better yet...I'll kill them with my katana. Yes, that would be fitting...and I might go a day without screaming, crying, and wanting to throw myself off a roof after overdosing on 500mg tylenol pills. And shooting myself. Then falling off the roof. Yes, that would be nice...

Actually, "Raphael" was originally going to be a drawing of Sephiroth that changed halfway when I realized that I'm not good enough to draw him...yet. Maybe I'm too hard on myself...since drawing him is blasphemy if you can't do it right. There's a couple of people I could mention on DA that shouldn't be drawing Sephiroth...bloody blasphemers...death to them all...*grins wickedly*

As well written as this is...you should hurry up and kill the damn bitch. The fucking whore doesn't deserve to live! *sighs bitterly* With that off my chest, a bit of constructive critisim: You are an amazing author, and I do love your writing style. Personal opinion though it may be, I believe your talents could be better directed towards other "romantic" pairings. Such as...Cloud and Aerith, perhaps? In the game, I really did not see any textual evidence indicating that there was any sort of relationship between Sephiroth and anyone, let along the pink-clad, violette selling whore. Should you choose to write a story with a more sensible pairing, I promise I'll leave a nicer review.

Absolutely NO yaoi will be accepted for this Shrine. To assume that Lord Sephiroth is of such low moral standards is unfit of Him, and insulting to me.

You can find a sporking of her fanfics here: http://lian-hua.livejournal.com/1979.html

EDIT: And Heretherebedragons beat me to the sporking. Oh well.

 

[Shuu Iwamine]

I have both of them watched on DeviantART. BonitaPrime (now known as LadyElitaOne) is very active, and she sometimes posts up journals regarding people who allegedly steal her Mary-sue's design. She calls for her watchers' aid in harassing said "thieves". It's pretty entertaining. I tried looking through her journals to see if I could find any of the calling out entries, but she deleted them it seems.

 

[The Dude]

Dafuq? How the hell do people get this mentally unbalanced? Just...how?

 

[Saney]

These names sound familiar. Anyone remember if there were topics about them on one of the previous forums?

 

[NIA-DOA 2.0]

Didn't SephirothSlave also aspire to be a model? Needless to say it didn't pan out well...

 

[HerebeDragons]

Didn't SephirothSlave also aspire to be a model? Needless to say it didn't pan out well...

Yep. Complete with ghost makeup, badly-wielded cheap swords, and masses of eyeliner...

 

[Shuu Iwamine]

Didn't SephirothSlave also aspire to be a model? Needless to say it didn't pan out well...

Yeah, she did. To my knowledge, it never made it off the ground. It never even fluttered.

 

[Hakurei]

Fangirls have gone mad.
How hilariously bad.
Seen this thing before.

There, now it's a haiku.

Here comes the Sue fic.
Sparkly weaboo angel.
This hurts me indeed.

 

[HerebeDragons]

Didn't SephirothSlave also aspire to be a model? Needless to say it didn't pan out well...

Yeah, she did. To my knowledge, it never made it off the ground. It never even fluttered.

Enjoy some of her attempts at modeling:

Spoiler