Serious LGBT Discussion -

Surf and TERF

Ouisandrê
kiwifarms.net
Can anyone with experience dating both with and without the aid of an app give some insight as to whether the apps attract a certain type of personality?

I only ever used apps and it took me about 3 years of doing that to find someone who was on the same page. I’m starting to wonder if my limited perspective is what made me so cynical about the way people date. It wasn’t just gay people who seemed odd on these apps. It was the straight ones too.

I grew up with a more conservative point of view so my assumption was that people only ever date someone with the intent of seeking a genuine connection and finding a monogamous, lifelong partner. It was shocking to grow up and find out that this desire is almost nonexistent in other people.

I can’t bring myself to be religious, but one thing that makes me jealous of my Christian friends is that they never have to solve the puzzle of figuring out their partner’s definition of a relationship every time they start dating someone new. There’s no guessing involved because everyone was raised to be on the same page.

Is the more “traditional” approach to dating really that unusual? Or are the people from the apps just throwing me off?
 

KimCoppolaAficionado

The most underrated actor of the 21st century
kiwifarms.net
Can anyone with experience dating both with and without the aid of an app give some insight as to whether the apps attract a certain type of personality?

I only ever used apps and it took me about 3 years of doing that to find someone who was on the same page. I’m starting to wonder if my limited perspective is what made me so cynical about the way people date. It wasn’t just gay people who seemed odd on these apps. It was the straight ones too.

I grew up with a more conservative point of view so my assumption was that people only ever date someone with the intent of seeking a genuine connection and finding a monogamous, lifelong partner. It was shocking to grow up and find out that this desire is almost nonexistent in other people.

I can’t bring myself to be religious, but one thing that makes me jealous of my Christian friends is that they never have to solve the puzzle of figuring out their partner’s definition of a relationship every time they start dating someone new. There’s no guessing involved because everyone was raised to be on the same page.

Is the more “traditional” approach to dating really that unusual? Or are the people from the apps just throwing me off?
I have a bias here, but, while I wouldn't say most people assume that the first (or second, or third...) person they're going to date is going to be The One, most people date with an eye towards a long-term relationship. I would say the apps are throwing you off for the following reasons:
1. "Dating" apps are generally understood to be tools for short-term hookups. They're called "dating" apps because you can't just call them "fuckbuddy finders" outside of porn sites.
2. Younger people tend to use "dating" apps, and younger people in general are more promiscuous.
3. Most homo-or-bisexual people who are interested in longer-term relationships don't strongly identify with the "gay lifestyle" due to its somewhat-justified reputation for promiscuity and obscenity, and so are unlikely to use a "gay dating" app.
 
P

PL 001

Guest
kiwifarms.net
Is the more “traditional” approach to dating really that unusual? Or are the people from the apps just throwing me off?

In my experience, it kind of is. If you're gay and looking for an actual relationship rather than a fuck buddy, you're going to have to do a lot more searching. When I was younger, a "long term" relationship was maybe five or six months. It gets a little better when you get older, but even then it's no walk in the park. Guys are horny fuckers, getting sex is cake, connecting on an emotional as well as a physical level requires effort. Like the guy above me said, gay dating apps are pretty much just code for hookups anyway.
 

Underestimated Nutria

kiwifarms.net
Can anyone with experience dating both with and without the aid of an app give some insight as to whether the apps attract a certain type of personality?

I only ever used apps and it took me about 3 years of doing that to find someone who was on the same page. I’m starting to wonder if my limited perspective is what made me so cynical about the way people date. It wasn’t just gay people who seemed odd on these apps. It was the straight ones too.

I grew up with a more conservative point of view so my assumption was that people only ever date someone with the intent of seeking a genuine connection and finding a monogamous, lifelong partner. It was shocking to grow up and find out that this desire is almost nonexistent in other people.

I can’t bring myself to be religious, but one thing that makes me jealous of my Christian friends is that they never have to solve the puzzle of figuring out their partner’s definition of a relationship every time they start dating someone new. There’s no guessing involved because everyone was raised to be on the same page.

Is the more “traditional” approach to dating really that unusual? Or are the people from the apps just throwing me off?

Don't bother with dating apps. They attract a certain type (loveless degenerates). Imagine dating someone who you know spent months broadcasting anus close-ups to all takers. No thanks
 

Black Waltz

sad soul
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Can anyone with experience dating both with and without the aid of an app give some insight as to whether the apps attract a certain type of personality?

I only ever used apps and it took me about 3 years of doing that to find someone who was on the same page. I’m starting to wonder if my limited perspective is what made me so cynical about the way people date. It wasn’t just gay people who seemed odd on these apps. It was the straight ones too.

I grew up with a more conservative point of view so my assumption was that people only ever date someone with the intent of seeking a genuine connection and finding a monogamous, lifelong partner. It was shocking to grow up and find out that this desire is almost nonexistent in other people.

I can’t bring myself to be religious, but one thing that makes me jealous of my Christian friends is that they never have to solve the puzzle of figuring out their partner’s definition of a relationship every time they start dating someone new. There’s no guessing involved because everyone was raised to be on the same page.

Is the more “traditional” approach to dating really that unusual? Or are the people from the apps just throwing me off?
I wouldn't bother using online dating apps, because you will probably run into people like this (courtesy of @BOLDYSPICY!)
855726-fbd557f977465472d9e4b0e49521f5cc.jpg
 

ICametoLurk

SCREW YOUR OPTICS, I'M GOING IN
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
PS, the trannies were a thing in the '90s. They were literally on TV all the time and nobody gave a fuck. The idea of a "woman trapped inside of a man" is way more romantic than the idea of big hairy men fucking asses. It appealed to the Anglo fixation on the Cinderella story. There was literally a major trans celebrity in the '50s. They could legally have (heterosexual) marriages in the '70s in the US when it was still illegal for guys to even fuck each other in most of America.

This whole narrative that it's a new thing, the next frontier, or some toxic poison introduced recently to the gay community - it's all spin. Any side of it. This has played out, it's mostly old news. You're falling for a crock of shit. There is no fight over transsexuality, they got their rights decades before gay people did.

Third gender shit is the same thing too. All cultures that had them hated gays.
 

Thiletonomics

조 바이든 승리의 쌀.
kiwifarms.net
Regarding the LGBT (plus the other stuff that goes in to that abbreviation) community, what is their view in regards to trans people who abandon their families, i.e. Greta and Stefonkee, who do things such as trooning out without officially divorcing so they don't have to pay child care, or using family savings for trooning purposes? It seems like what some people tend to forget about people who transition are the things that they leave behind by doing so, i.e. career and family.
 

Wallace

Cram it in me, baby!
kiwifarms.net
Regarding the LGBT (plus the other stuff that goes in to that abbreviation) community, what is their view in regards to trans people who abandon their families, i.e. Greta and Stefonkee, who do things such as trooning out without officially divorcing so they don't have to pay child care, or using family savings for trooning purposes? It seems like what some people tend to forget about people who transition are the things that they leave behind by doing so, i.e. career and family.

I can only speak for myself, but I consider people like that to be scum who use gay rights as a shield against criticism and a sword to intimidate and harass others. LGBT is not a monoculture, no matter how much the Twitterati wish it were.
 

Surf and TERF

Ouisandrê
kiwifarms.net
Regarding the LGBT (plus the other stuff that goes in to that abbreviation) community, what is their view in regards to trans people who abandon their families, i.e. Greta and Stefonkee, who do things such as trooning out without officially divorcing so they don't have to pay child care, or using family savings for trooning purposes? It seems like what some people tend to forget about people who transition are the things that they leave behind by doing so, i.e. career and family.

The idea of the LGBT community having a unified stance on anything is an illusion. At least from my observation. Gay/trans people are scattered in the real world. Representation comes from loud internet shut-ins and seedy places organized purely for hook ups.

There’s not much in-between for anyone else who doesn’t go for that. So widespread, critical discussions don’t happen.
 

Diabeetus

The hyeckin frickyen sweetist
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
The idea of the LGBT community having a unified stance on anything is an illusion. At least from my observation. Gay/trans people scattered in the real world. Representation comes from loud internet shut-ins and seedy places organized purely for hook ups.

There’s not much in-between for anyone else who doesn’t go for that. So widespread, critical discussions don’t happen.
Because their community is based on a singular trait and nothing else. It’d be like starting a community over having red hair. People have different lives in spite of that one unifying trait.
 

Dildo

#NaturalBeauty #NoFilter
kiwifarms.net
Because their community is based on a singular trait and nothing else. It’d be like starting a community over having red hair. People have different lives in spite of that one unifying trait.

Yes and no.

I'm among the first to line up and call the Pride movement degenerate and disgusting, but on the other hand I do (albeit unwillingly) see some things we often do have in common.

Even if raised in secular households, almost all of us of a certain age have had direct and very aggressive run ins with the abrahamic religions often leading to hostility to organized religion. Most LGBT over thirty have been the butt of jokes if not the victim of violence for not fitting into the social norms of the time leading to them being more willing than most to cast aside traditions and traditional values. Its not that hard to empathise with marginalised groups or peoples when you have previously been one yourself.

I'm not saying conservative LGB do not exist,they do and I would consider myself among them but theres enough common shared experiences of being the outsider among most of the older of us that they do tend to lean a certain way politically to drive a platform.

That said; Generation Z in the west (ot parts of Europe at least) on the other hand could be the first of us to potentially grow up and live without ever encountering direct powerful open hostility to their existence; I will be interested to see what they become once they grow up out of the tumblr phase.

You'll note I say LGB and exclude the T. I remain constant in the belief that is something radically different to the rest of the movement that should never have been included under the banner in the first place.
 
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The Gay Banana

You're all dossers.
kiwifarms.net
Amongst people where I live I have found it harder to come out conservative views than I ever did coming out as gay. It makes no sense if you have any idea about history. Historically in the western world, liberalisation of gay rights have come from the centre-left and the centre-right in equal measures since most of the time they are non partisan issues. The majority of conservatives, at least in Europe, are progressives who believe that you can still be a conservative but also extend equal rights to marginalised groups.
 

Dennis_Prager

kiwifarms.net
You'll note I say LGB and exclude the T. I remain constant in the belief that is something radically different to the rest of the movement that should never have been included under the banner in the first place.

LMFAO what an asshole, mate.

Yes, GTFO trannies, you're too different! Let's just backstab these poor fucking people who can barely stand for themselves outta our shit, it'll paint a very good-looking image for us. Inclusivity of what is different? When has the LGBT movement ever stood for that?

I'm not sure on my stance on this either, but the way you framed your position was funny.
 
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