I'm praying for you OwO. God has a plan for you and you leading this life of sin is no way to go on. Please don't tune out the Lord.
In fact, let me talk to you about Jesus.
In Paul's first letter to the people of Thessaloniki in the fourth chapter, he talks about living to please God. Now, as Paul was the Ayn Rand loving, Alex Keaton acting Mother abstainer he was, he naturally shoots for the angle of God doesn't like when your a deviant.
So when he says in verse 3 about being sanctified, you need to understand that it's not just your usual homo lovin' and whatever I'm supposed to do at a party besides be a massive killjoy, you need some context. You see, back then, in the church of Corinth there was some dude bangin' his mom. Now what kind of respectable good, Christian, family friendly, black lynching church would they be if they had that kind of sexual immorality? Naturally, they drove him off and told him to get lost until he took enough Zumba classes to never be able to stand the sight of a woman over the age of 27. This naturally failed as Zumba was not yet a thing at the time and would not be for over 1800 years, which led to the compromise, purify yourself with God by not being a dang dirty deviant.
While Paul didn't show no favors towards homos, he really didn't like it when people were doing things that gave them diseases. This is why he shames the man cucking his own father because what if they created an ancient inbred autism baby? Do we really want to start the argument if autistics are really people THIS early?
In fact, if you look at a HUGE chunk of Judeo-Christian laws, the reason they were bad was because of how dangerous they were. No Shrimp or pig in the old testament? Because shrimp aren't able to be eaten raw like normal bugs and pigs lack the ability to sweat, thus anything embedded in their skin that doesnt break into the bloodstream is still there. You don't think God would create pigs just to cuck us out from bacon do you? Cause I sure don't. That's why Peter was given the "Anti-Adam" vision to go forth and kill all animals on the planet to feed our insatiable hunger eventually, after we had developed ways of eating besides "just bite down and chew".
Jumping back to Paul, since Paul is your good Reaganomics lovin' Jew boy (compared with that dirty 1% hater James) there are two things he hates in this world more than anything else. Lazy people (which means all of us on Kiwi farms are starting off in a rough patch) and deviants. Now, lemme ask you something, if Paul doesn't care for deviants and the old testament laws were often in effect because of them being for the health of people, what can we logically conclude here?
That's right! Incest and Fur Lovin' is worse in God's eyes than the dirty homos. We don't want tard babies and African monkey banging is how we ended up with AIDS! While Beary can save his soul by gobblin' cocks for charity, you lack the same strength because you are breaking both the rules of the covenant (I bet you didn't even GET circumcised) and the rules of our Lord Jesus Christ.
AND FURTHERMORE your housecat transmitted AIDS is God's physical punishment to you for not just choosing one deviancy and sticking with it. "The Lord acts in mysterious ways", except for the part where shmangin' your local zoo's inhabitants gives you a metric ton of diseases and parasites, that's just hubris. Sodom and Gommorah were full of homos and pedos and God lit their asses on fire, frankly in the grand scheme of things, a lifespan marred with diseases is frankly a KINDNESS compared to what should await anyone who worships the idol of Yiff.
But I AM being harsh on you, for there is still a way you can be saved. As Naaman was healed of his leprosy in the shit brown river known as the Jordan, so too can you be healed by going onto Facebook and responding to every "1 like = 1 prayer" post you can find. Like Joel Osteen says " Even the worst sinners can be healed in God's eyes, provided that they have money to donate to my church. Call (713)-635-4153 to donate $777 dollars to my pocketboo.. I mean.... mission fund.. and you too shall be cleansed of your sins!"
There's still hope for you OwO, it just means willing to change and recognize that the ASPCA commercials are not ads for smut but actually animals in need. It means willing to recognize when you need to stop the yiff and instead yell to the High Mountains your love of Jesus! It means willing to resist the murr and make your heart open to our Lord God! It means NOT calling Womacker a CUCK because he moralFAGs all the time! Recognize your sins and you too shall be forgiven!
I ask of you these things to lift up, so that the Lord can purify yourself, and so when you reach the pearly gates and you see me standing at the door waiting for you because apparently triple bypass burgers aren't actually medical procedures, I want to be able to say "Welcome my... uh... Sister? Brother? What do you go by now?" rather than "lol calm down" as God casts you into the fiery pits of hell.
So raise up my sibling in Christ! Accept Jesus our lord and savior into your heart(s) (I dunno how many hearts a catperson has).
Join him in purity.
And F***in' DONT GIVE ME YOUR SECOND LOWEST RATING YOU FURRY FRUIT. GIVE ME MY MUCH DESERVED PRETTY GOOD RATING. YOU'RE THE CUCK!
Amen.
In fact, let me talk to you about Jesus.
In Paul's first letter to the people of Thessaloniki in the fourth chapter, he talks about living to please God. Now, as Paul was the Ayn Rand loving, Alex Keaton acting Mother abstainer he was, he naturally shoots for the angle of God doesn't like when your a deviant.
So when he says in verse 3 about being sanctified, you need to understand that it's not just your usual homo lovin' and whatever I'm supposed to do at a party besides be a massive killjoy, you need some context. You see, back then, in the church of Corinth there was some dude bangin' his mom. Now what kind of respectable good, Christian, family friendly, black lynching church would they be if they had that kind of sexual immorality? Naturally, they drove him off and told him to get lost until he took enough Zumba classes to never be able to stand the sight of a woman over the age of 27. This naturally failed as Zumba was not yet a thing at the time and would not be for over 1800 years, which led to the compromise, purify yourself with God by not being a dang dirty deviant.
While Paul didn't show no favors towards homos, he really didn't like it when people were doing things that gave them diseases. This is why he shames the man cucking his own father because what if they created an ancient inbred autism baby? Do we really want to start the argument if autistics are really people THIS early?
In fact, if you look at a HUGE chunk of Judeo-Christian laws, the reason they were bad was because of how dangerous they were. No Shrimp or pig in the old testament? Because shrimp aren't able to be eaten raw like normal bugs and pigs lack the ability to sweat, thus anything embedded in their skin that doesnt break into the bloodstream is still there. You don't think God would create pigs just to cuck us out from bacon do you? Cause I sure don't. That's why Peter was given the "Anti-Adam" vision to go forth and kill all animals on the planet to feed our insatiable hunger eventually, after we had developed ways of eating besides "just bite down and chew".
Jumping back to Paul, since Paul is your good Reaganomics lovin' Jew boy (compared with that dirty 1% hater James) there are two things he hates in this world more than anything else. Lazy people (which means all of us on Kiwi farms are starting off in a rough patch) and deviants. Now, lemme ask you something, if Paul doesn't care for deviants and the old testament laws were often in effect because of them being for the health of people, what can we logically conclude here?
That's right! Incest and Fur Lovin' is worse in God's eyes than the dirty homos. We don't want tard babies and African monkey banging is how we ended up with AIDS! While Beary can save his soul by gobblin' cocks for charity, you lack the same strength because you are breaking both the rules of the covenant (I bet you didn't even GET circumcised) and the rules of our Lord Jesus Christ.
AND FURTHERMORE your housecat transmitted AIDS is God's physical punishment to you for not just choosing one deviancy and sticking with it. "The Lord acts in mysterious ways", except for the part where shmangin' your local zoo's inhabitants gives you a metric ton of diseases and parasites, that's just hubris. Sodom and Gommorah were full of homos and pedos and God lit their asses on fire, frankly in the grand scheme of things, a lifespan marred with diseases is frankly a KINDNESS compared to what should await anyone who worships the idol of Yiff.
But I AM being harsh on you, for there is still a way you can be saved. As Naaman was healed of his leprosy in the shit brown river known as the Jordan, so too can you be healed by going onto Facebook and responding to every "1 like = 1 prayer" post you can find. Like Joel Osteen says " Even the worst sinners can be healed in God's eyes, provided that they have money to donate to my church. Call (713)-635-4153 to donate $777 dollars to my pocketboo.. I mean.... mission fund.. and you too shall be cleansed of your sins!"
There's still hope for you OwO, it just means willing to change and recognize that the ASPCA commercials are not ads for smut but actually animals in need. It means willing to recognize when you need to stop the yiff and instead yell to the High Mountains your love of Jesus! It means willing to resist the murr and make your heart open to our Lord God! It means NOT calling Womacker a CUCK because he moralFAGs all the time! Recognize your sins and you too shall be forgiven!
I ask of you these things to lift up, so that the Lord can purify yourself, and so when you reach the pearly gates and you see me standing at the door waiting for you because apparently triple bypass burgers aren't actually medical procedures, I want to be able to say "Welcome my... uh... Sister? Brother? What do you go by now?" rather than "lol calm down" as God casts you into the fiery pits of hell.
So raise up my sibling in Christ! Accept Jesus our lord and savior into your heart(s) (I dunno how many hearts a catperson has).
Join him in purity.
And F***in' DONT GIVE ME YOUR SECOND LOWEST RATING YOU FURRY FRUIT. GIVE ME MY MUCH DESERVED PRETTY GOOD RATING. YOU'RE THE CUCK!
Amen.
