Sex Toy General - We all have them. Even you.

[Gentleman Gamer]

whore yourself out to some old dude and get a lexus

I'm a male tho

 

[SIGSEGV]

Do you know about any dildos that can be disguised into something else, and are difficult to get back into their normal form for someone who doesn't know what they are. I have family members who like to snoop. They complained and freaked out about me having guns so they'll sure as hell give me absolute hell and call me a faggot if they find a dildo.

Just use your Mosin Nagant's bolt handle as a dildo, bro.

 

[soft kitty]

Do you know about any dildos that can be disguised into something else, and are difficult to get back into their normal form for someone who doesn't know what they are. I have family members who like to snoop. They complained and freaked out about me having guns so they'll sure as hell give me absolute hell and call me a faggot if they find a dildo.

That seems like a rather round-about solution to your problem. Maybe invest in a safe or locks for your doors?

 

[Gentleman Gamer]

That seems like a rather round-about solution to your problem. Maybe invest in a safe or locks for your doors?

Safe maybe, locks isn't possible for me though.

 

[soft kitty]

Safe maybe, locks isn't possible for me though.

Why?

 

[Gentleman Gamer]

Why?

Long story, fucked up household, abusive people, no privacy.

 

[soft kitty]

Long story, fucked up household, abusive people, no privacy.

I don't understand, do you not have your own room? If you have your own room, you can buy a lock for it.

 

[Gentleman Gamer]

I don't understand, do you not have your own room? If you have your own room, you can buy a lock for it.

I do have my own room (wasn't always like that, had to fight for it) but it's connected to someone else room (which doesn't have a door just a tarp over the doorway) So they have to walk through my room to access the rest of the house, and they can just walk right in whenever they want. So I can't use a lock. Plus 90 percent of the stuff in this room is not mine. So, it's not really my room at the end of the day.

 

[soft kitty]

I do have my own room (wasn't always like that, had to fight for it) but it's connected to someone else room (which doesn't have a door just a tarp over the doorway) So they have to walk through my room to access the rest of the house, and they can just walk right in whenever they want. So I can't use a lock. Plus 90 percent of the stuff in this room is not mine. So, it's not really my room at the end of the day.

Ahh, I see. Well you should definitely invest in a safe or a locked chest, then.

 

[Cake Farts]

Get the thing where you turn an imprint of your dick into a dildo

I heard those things don’t work very well, especially for the vaginal/fleshlight ones kek

 

[AnOminous]

Do you know about any dildos that can be disguised into something else, and are difficult to get back into their normal form for someone who doesn't know what they are. I have family members who like to snoop. They complained and freaked out about me having guns so they'll sure as hell give me absolute hell and call me a faggot if they find a dildo.

How the fuck do you show up on Kiwi Farms and be the gayest motherfucker in existence? Because this post is the gayest goddamn thing I have ever seen.

 

[Cake Farts]

How the fuck do you show up on Kiwi Farms and be the gayest motherfucker in existence? Because this post is the gayest goddamn thing I have ever seen.

His name has the word Gamer in it that should be a pretty big clue

 

[Exorbital Columnations]

Do you know about any dildos that can be disguised into something else, and are difficult to get back into their normal form for someone who doesn't know what they are. I have family members who like to snoop. They complained and freaked out about me having guns so they'll sure as hell give me absolute hell and call me a faggot if they find a dildo.

Get a particularly girthy candle, you absolute sped.

 

[General Tug Boat]

Do you know about any dildos that can be disguised into something else, and are difficult to get back into their normal form for someone who doesn't know what they are. I have family members who like to snoop. They complained and freaked out about me having guns so they'll sure as hell give me absolute hell and call me a faggot if they find a dildo.

Make sure you put the "batteries" in before you pull the power switch. It would make for an "explosive climax"

 

[Mr. Skeltal]

Make sure you put the "batteries" in before you pull the power switch. It would make for an "explosive climax"

View attachment 1678577

What am I looking at?

 

[General Tug Boat]

What am I looking at?

The incarnate of all my insecuritites as a troontastic sped

 

[Buster O'Keefe]

I'm surprised no one here has mentioned ye olde Magic Wand.

Fun fact: there was never an official Uk/European 240v version of the Magic Wand. An English company, Doxy, started manufacturing a similar device in 2013 and these now retail at up to £150 (they sell a gold plated version for £10000!). Here is a heart warming story about the company: https://doxymassager.com/blogs/doxy-blogs/doxy-supports-front-line-workers

 

[keyboredsm4shthe2nd]

Only sex toy I ever had was some 20usd pos pocket pussy from some shop at the mall that sold meme shirts and such in the front. I wasn't really impressed. The squishy part went inside some kinda plastic tube but the thing was close-ended with just a little hole at the end to let off pressure and if ya ever tried to use the thing, it squeaked way too loud. Didn't have enough elasticity to it so ya couldn't feel your dick half a minute in so it was all in all a waste of money.

That being said, I saw some stuff go through the mail when I worked at a warehouse for Amazon. Justin Beiber blow-up dolls, cherry-flavored anal beads, waterguns with dildo-ends, loli everything, DIY dick molding kit to mail your online gf a replica dildo of your cock, Bad Dragon animal-themed genitals, 3rd party MLP pocket pussy collection with a Spike the dragon dildo/strap-on, vore sleeping bags, DIY genital piercing kits, chastity locks that attach to piercings, Bluetooth vibrators with a phone app, outercourse sex toys for thighs/armpits/breasts, desk-mounted VR auto-stroker, nipple-penetration pillows, vaginal dentata onahole, sounding kits, scat-feeding face masks that have belts that tie the face to the other person's ass, genital lipstick with various flavors, cum-cookbooks, candle-wax BDSM kit, all manner of sensory deprivation gear, cosplay tail-plugs, oral douching kit, cunt sponge inserts, edible gummy undergarments, through-wall/door insert and resting stand for public-use positioning, and all manner of sex furniture to bend you over as necessary.
People are weird.

C'mon now, the sensory deprivation could just be for someone who's actually being tortured. What's so weird about a cunt sponge? It's a sponge dipped in spermicide that you shove up your cooch so you can have condomless sex without risking pregnancy. I'm also ashamed to say that I know what most of these things are, the internet has taken my innocence and raped it, raped it five ways from sunday.

 

[Chicchaiossan]

Fun fact: there was never an official Uk/European 240v version of the Magic Wand. An English company, Doxy, started manufacturing a similar device in 2013 and these now retail at up to £150 (they sell a gold plated version for £10000!). Here is a heart warming story about the company: https://doxymassager.com/blogs/doxy-blogs/doxy-supports-front-line-workers

That's pretty damn cool! Making top of the line massagers, and helping with the pandemic!

 

[Thistle]

There's nothing that superglue and some duct tape can't fix. Just don't stick your dick in it while it's drying.

use this instead.

You're welcome.