Shanties Without Panties - Gunt Parody Song Thread - Submissions Welcome

Buffalo Chicken Sandwich

From Arby's
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Oct 19, 2018
This one is for my mensch, Gator :feels:

GatorTIme a parody of Tulsa Time


Well, I left grocery baggin'
Driving in a Uber
Just about to lose my mind
I was going to Twitter to rant
Maybe on to Discord and vent
Where people all live so fine

My mother says I'm crazy
My puerto rican gf lazy
But I'm gonna show them all this time
'Cause you know I ain't no fool and
I need X Ray school
I was born to the oldest fag
Living on GatorTime
Living on GatorTIme
Gonna set my watch back to it
'Cause you know that I'm the oldest fag
Living on GatorTime

So there I was in Knoxville
Thinking I was doing good
Talking on the Killstream Live
They don't want me in the movies
And nobody sings my songs
My mama says my baby's doing fine

So then I started weebin'
Then I started thinking
That I really had a flash this time
That I had no business leaving
And nobody would be grieving
You see I'm on GatorTime

Living on GatorTime
Living on GatorTime
Gonna set my watch back to it
'Cause you know that I'm the oldest fag
Living on GatorTime
 

Zanmato

kiwifarms.net
Joined
Dec 6, 2021
has anyone actually made these into songs? bc I can just stop commenting and make this my mission
 

Mike Stoklasa

v=YbsRfRmL5Kc
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Jun 20, 2019
I did this on another lolcow’s thread.this should be fun with Ralph as well. The twelve days of Guntmass!

On the first day of Guntmass Ralph‘s haters gave him, one restraining order.
I appreciate this. But your syllables don't match.

On the first day of Guntmass
Ralph's haters gave to him
An a-log video from Jim.
 

Laquisha Guntermensch

Gaydur! Chat is swept, clean up the shart instead
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Sep 10, 2020
On the third day of Guntmas my alogs gave to me.

3 fights with Rand
2 Baby Mamas
And a Court order from Faith Vickers
On the first day of Guntmas Matt Vickers sent to me
A summons sent to Las V!

On the first day of Guntmas Matt Vickers sent to me
A summons sent to Las V!

On the second day of Guntmas
Jawsh Moon sent to me
Two pidgen doves
And a summons sent to Las V!

On the third day of Guntmas
Race Warski sent to me
Three weed pens
Two pidgen doves
And a summons sent to Las V!

On the fourth day of Guntmas
My live chat sent to me
Four naughty words
Three weed pens
Two pidgen doves
And a summons sent to Las V!

On the fifth day of Guntmas
My gambling sent to me
Five real comped things
Four naughty words
Three weed pens
Two pidgen doves
And a summons sent to Las V!

On the sixth day of Guntmas
My habits brought to me
Six chairs a-sharting
Five real comped things
Four naughty words
Three weed pens
Two pidgen doves
And a summons sent to Las V!

On the seventh day of Guntmas
Digi's true love sent to me
Seven Meigh's a swimming
Six chairs a-sharting
Five real comped things
Four naughty words
Three weed pens
Two pidgen doves
And a summons sent to Las V!

On the eighth day of Guntmas
JCaesar sent to me
Eight Pornhub milkings
Seven Meigh's a swimming
Six chairs a-sharting
Five real comped things
Four naughty words
Three weed pens
Two pidgen doves
And a summons sent to Las V!

On the ninth day of Guntmas
IP2 Alice gave to me
Nine thumb in dances
Eight Pornhub milkings
Seven Meigh's a swimming
Six chairs a-sharting
Five real comped things
Four naughty words
Three weed pens
Two pidgen doves
And a summons sent to Las V!

On the tenth day of Guntmas
Old Jimbo sent to me
Ten car a-payments
Nine thumb in dances
Eight Pornhub milkings
Seven Meigh's a swimming
Six chairs a-sharting
Five real comped things
Four naughty words
Three weed pens
Two pidgen doves
And a summons sent to Las V!

On the eleventh day of Guntmas
Adrienne Blair sent to me
Eleven blue-checks tweeting
Ten car a-payments
Nine thumb in dances
Eight Pornhub milkings
Seven Meigh's a swimming
Six chairs a-sharting
Five real comped things
Four naughty words
Three weed pens
Two pidgen doves
And a summons sent to Las V!

On the twelfth day of Guntmas
The Maker's said to me
Twelve ay-lawgs lawging
Eleven blue-checks tweeting
Ten car a-payments
Nine thumb in dances
Eight Pornhub milkings
Seven Meigh's a swimming
Six chairs a-sharting
Five real comped things
Four naughty words
Three weed pens
Two pidgen doves
And a summons sent to Las V!
 
Last edited:

verifymejoshuaconnormoon

ethan ralph got the covid vaccine in vegas
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Joined
May 7, 2021
On the Fourth day of Guntmass
Ralph’s haters gave to him
Four reckless driving tickets
Three fights with Rand
Two baby mamas
And restraining order from the Vickers.
on the fifth day of guntmas
ralphs haters have to him
five trips to vegas
four reckless driving tickets
three fights with rand
two baby mamas
and a restraining order from the vickers
 

There's light at the end

kiwifarms.net
Joined
Jan 28, 2021
On the sixth day of guntmas
Ralph's haters have to him
Six mc jarbo singles
Five trips to vegas
Four reckless driving tickets
Three fights with rand
Two baby mamas
And a restraining order from the vickers
On the seventh day of guntmas

Ralph's haters have to him

Seven bottles of Pepto bismol

Six mc jarbo singles

Five trips to vegas

Four reckless driving tickets

Three fights with rand

Two baby mamas

And a restraining order from the vickers
 

HarveySperg41

I contribute nothing
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Jan 10, 2020
On the seventh day of guntmas

Ralph's haters have to him

Seven bottles of Pepto bismol

Six mc jarbo singles

Five trips to vegas

Four reckless driving tickets

Three fights with rand

Two baby mamas

And a restraining order from the vickers

On the eighth day of guntmas
Ralph's haters have to him
Eight medical emergencies
Seven bottles of Pepto bismol
Six mc jarbo singles
Five trips to vegas
Four reckless driving tickets
Three fights with rand
Two baby mamas
And a restraining order from the vickers
 

verifymejoshuaconnormoon

ethan ralph got the covid vaccine in vegas
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Joined
May 7, 2021
On the ninth day of Guntmas
Ralph's haters gave to him
NINE
MAKER'S
MAAAAAAAAAAAARKS
on the tenth day of guntmas
ralph’s haters gave to him
ten oxycodone
nine makers marks
eight medical emergencies
seven bottles of pepto bismol
six mc jarbo singles
five trips to vegas
four reckless driving tickets
three fights with rand
two baby mamas
and a restraining order from the vickers
 

WhimsicalTrolli

kiwifarms.net
Joined
Jun 20, 2019
On the eleventh day of guntmas
Ralph's hater gave to him

Eleven bridges burned
ten oxycodone
nine makers marks
eight medical emergencies
seven bottles of pepto bismol
six mc jarbo singles
five trips to vegas
four reckless driving tickets
three fights with rand
two baby mamas
and a restraining order from the vickers
 

There's light at the end

kiwifarms.net
Joined
Jan 28, 2021
On the eleventh day of guntmas
Ralph's hater gave to him

Eleven bridges burned
ten oxycodone
nine makers marks
eight medical emergencies
seven bottles of pepto bismol
six mc jarbo singles
five trips to vegas
four reckless driving tickets
three fights with rand
two baby mamas
and a restraining order from the vickers
On a twelfth day of guntsmas
Ralph's haters gave to him
Twelve times deplatformed
Eleven bridges burned
ten oxycodone
nine makers marks
eight medical emergencies
seven bottles of pepto bismol
six mc jarbo singles
five trips to vegas
four reckless driving tickets
three fights with rand
two baby mamas
and a restraining order from the vickers
 

Cucktry Roads

GUNT is a four letter word
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Oct 10, 2020
Merry Guntmas everyone. Expect big things for Guntmas this year!

I'm Mister Gunt Christmas
I'm Mister Ralph
I'm Mister pigman
I'm Mister King Alpha
Friends call me Gunt Miser
What ever I touch
Turns to gunt in my clutch
I'm too much!

[Chorus:]
He's Mister Drunk Christmas
He's Mister Gunt

[Snow Miser:]
That's right!

[Chorus:]
He's Mister Pigman
He's Mister King Alpha

[Snow Miser:]
Friends call me Gunt Miser,
What ever I touch
Turns to gunt in my clutch

[Chorus:]
He's too much!

[Snow Miser:]
I never want to see a day
That's not even hot outside
I'd rather have it thirty,
forty, fifty, maybe even sixtyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

[Chorus:]
He's Mister Gunt Christmas
He's Mister Fat

[Snow Miser:]
That's right!

[Chorus:]
He's Mister Pigman
He's Mister King Alpha

[Snow Miser:]
Friends call me Gunt Miser,
What ever I touch
Turns to gunt in my clutch
... Too much.

[All:]
Too Much!
 

WhimsicalTrolli

kiwifarms.net
Joined
Jun 20, 2019
A aloggy Christmas album.
Written by Cal Rollia

Nevada
Parody of Vienna by Billy Joel
Written by Cal Rollia

Slow down you crazy drunk
So comped to get out of this funk
But then if you're so based tell me
Why are you still so chaste (hmm)

Burning bridges you barely have
Letting your thin skin get so railed up
You got so many booze and pills
To do in a day (ay)

But you know your time is running out
Went from a z-celeb to having child brides
You're trying to live the fast life when it's not truuu (oooh)
When you realize....Nevada waits for you

Slow down your pretty fucked
Picking a fight with a coin merchant
That you won't finished in containment (tainment)

So sad, the harvest is ripe
That the only relevance you got is from snipes
Though you think Christ is kang
But you can't afford a good ring (good ring)

You got your passion, you got your pride
The alogs will watch you sneed?
But now went from a child to horse bride (ooh)
When you realize....Nevada waits for you

Slow down you crazy drunk
Driving to Vegas hoping your problem will fade
But you know are enterally felted by ade (ade)
When you realized...Nevada waits for you

And you know that when the truth is told
Xander will never know who you are when he's old
The children of the gunt will be better off without you (oooh)
When you realize, Nevada waits for you.


Deck the chunts
Parody of Deck the Halls
Written by Cal Rollia

(Verse 1)
Deck the chunts with Boughs of seethe
Bluh bluh blah blah la la la la
Gunt's filled with tampoon breath
Bluh bluh blah blah la la la la
Alogging now with this shanty
Bluh bluh blah blah la la la la
Trolling the gunt with scat filled panties
Bluh bluh bluh bluh la la la la

(Verse 2)
The sight of two gunts kissing
Bluh bluh blah blah blah la la la
In the shack with endless hissing
Say he's 5'1 all together
Bluh bluh blah blah blah la la la
Sharing laughs in cold weather
Bluh bluh blah blah blah la la la

(Verse 3)
Fast the way of guntmas past
Bluh bluh bluh la la la la
I wish the holiday alogging last
Bluh bluh bluh la la la la
Gunt's prison time is upon us
Bluh bluh bluh la la la la
Well if he don't that's a plus
Bluh bluh bluh la la la la


Christmas (Xander please come home) Darlene Love
Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) by Darling
Written by Cal Rollia

(Verse 1)
(Christmas)Your birther ass was thumbed
(Christmas) she's stealing you from me
(Christmas) lots of alogs around
(Christmas) Xander please come home

(Verse 2)
(Christmas) the shack is cold
(Christmas) an abode filled with mold
(Christmas) the uneasy movement in my bowls
(Christmas Xander please come home

(Chorus)
The alogs singing "deck the Chunt"
They haven't paid enough to see the gunt
'Cause I remember when your brither as here
I thumb her ass now she's Trying to Smear

(Verse 3)
(Christmas) I won't go to jail
(Christmas) im holding gator with blackmail
(Christmas) you should be here with me
(Christmas) xander please come home

(Chorus)
The alogs singing "deck the Chunt"
They haven't paid enough to see the gunt
'Cause I remember when your brither as here
I thumb her ass now she's Trying to Smear

(Outro)
(Christmas) If there is a way
To let manstu groom you
But it's Christmas day
Please X6
Xander please come home X4
Oh, yeah you damn alogs!
Christ is can't!