Share your most favorite spam/scam emails. -

[UN 474]

I do enjoy reading emails in my spam box. You'll never know what you're gonna find! Some times you come across generic, copy-paste ones, or sometimes you stumble upon a gold-mine of lulz.

Here are my favorites:

For obvious reasons, please submit emails, website addresses(Screen-shot is recommended), phone numbers or any other contact information from these scammers.

Thanks xx

 

[Recoil]

My fav is definitely the "We put malware in a JPG and we've got a video of you fapping, gibs plox"

My dad got one of these last year some time and called me asking for advice, I still have a bone to pick with him for putting that image in my head.

 

[Some Manajerk]

One that i actually didn't even read, but amused me nonetheless. My grandmother forwarded me an email, saying "Manajerk, you have to see this"

The catch being, she's been dead for 3 years. You'd think if they were trolling through social media they could at least be sure they got the grandparent who was alive.

 

[murgatroid]

This is pretty minor but whenever I get scam propositions I get them to send me as many bad checks with tracking that I can just to waste their time and money.

 

[RG 448]

I got one last week from a supposed “hitman” saying a contract had been put out on me, but he didn’t want to go through with it after observing me, and that if I paid him more than his employer he’d let me live. I could tell it was a sophisticated spambot because it had some kind of algorithm that managed to generate photos of the interior and exterior of my house and me picking my daughter up from school. It even somehow projected fake dirty footprints onto my floor leading from the window I leave open all the time to the basement I never go in. It’s crazy what technology can do these days.

 

[Monika H.]

Copy and pasted.

From: jessicaloxxxxxxx.6x@gmail.com
Good mornang mr. Himmler you dont remember me but I am old classmate of your from highschool and I never tell you but I always fund you sexy and liked you
a lot how is life going I am supermodel now and have big bobs (note: exactly, bobs) and feel lonly so I want sexy man like you mmmmhh ahahah
visit xxxxxxxxx.com to chat more dear I wanna chat dear and make special chat dear xoxoxo

jess

Oh my god! My former classmate Jessica (that I don't remember strangely) wants to chat with me? And she has big boobs (pardon; bobs)?
And wants me to visit her obviously scam website?
Sign me up!

 

[UN 474]

This is pretty minor but whenever I get scam propositions I get them to send me as many bad checks with tracking that I can just to waste their time and money.

I just love to waste scammers time.

 

[Faket0Fake]

My fav is definitely the "We put malware in a JPG and we've got a video of you fapping, gibs plox"

My dad got one of these last year some time and called me asking for advice, I still have a bone to pick with him for putting that image in my head.

That one was going around for a while. The way it was written it sounded like a comic book villain. They were trying to be threatening in the same way Butters does Professor Chaos so it sounded like some Russian kid who downloaded a list of emails from old leaked accounts and tried his luck.

 

[Lemmingwise]

Oh my god! My former classmate Jessica (that I don't remember strangely) wants to chat with me? And she has big boobs (pardon; bobs)?
And wants me to visit her obviously scam website?
Sign me up!

Surely if she was a former classmate of Himmler she would write you in German, no?

And be a little too old to be worth the effort, no matter the side of her bobs?

 

[WD-40]

About a year or two ago I got an email from someone claiming to be CNN telling me that Donald Trump has declared war against North Korea and I had to go their site for more details.

 

[Buster O'Keefe]

My dad got a letter from some Nigerian proto-scammer once. A fucking letter with correct postage. This was early 90s. Alot of greedy assholes from Ballymena were fleeced by that guy. In my head he was a prince.

 

[Dolphin Lundgren]

"Sexy nudes of Osama Bin Laden" which automatically gave you a virus. I'm going old school on this one.

 

[MysticMisty]

My dad got a letter from some Nigerian proto-scammer once. A fucking letter with correct postage. This was early 90s. Alot of greedy assholes from Ballymena were fleeced by that guy. In my head he was a prince.

My dad also got an early Nigerian prince scam letter in the mail back in the mid-90's. They sealed it with tape which for some reason caused my mom to think it might be from the unabomber and ordered him to open it in the kitchen in case it exploded. That was the only time we got physical spam mail of that type.

 

[UN 474]

My dad also got an early Nigerian prince scam letter in the mail back in the mid-90's. They sealed it with tape which for some reason caused my mom to think it might be from the unabomber and ordered him to open it in the kitchen in case it exploded. That was the only time we got physical spam mail of that type.

Back when scammers actually put effort into it. Good times!

 

[Wraith]

Does it have to be emails? I got a phone number some douche had before me and they keep offering me automated job offers. I answer the call and ask to be a Sonichu porn actor.

 

[JM 590]

like, what the fuck

 

[Francis E. Dec Esc.]

"Victim

Your laptop is infected by the injurious app .

Whats the scam?

I placed the malicious agent on a porn web site, you pushed that entry and instantly set the badware to your device .

This malicious software made your selfie-camera capturing video so I receive the video record with you dash your doodle.

In next 5 hours that malicious software hijacked all the contact numbers numbers.

t the moment, I possess all your info and videorecord with you burp the worm, now if you want me to eliminate all the contact numbers pay me 363 united states dollar in BTC cryptocurrency.

If not I wanna send that this movie to all your relatieves .

I send you mine Bitcoin wallet – REDACTED You own 28 hours after getting this. In a case if I earn this money I promise undo that this movie evermore.

I ask pardon for my grammar- English is not my native language .
P.S. this mail addr ess, I have snaffled it.
Do not reply to this email. It is temporary email address!"

I like the Victorian sounding slang. 'Snaffled it', 'burp the worm', 'dash your doodle'. Reminds me of Michael Crichton's 'The Great Train Robbery'.

 

[Bessie]

The catch being, she's been dead for 3 years.

Missed opportunity, man. Your grams was up in Heaven rubbing elbows with this Nigerian prince and almost landed you this sweet inheritance. All you needed to do was send credit card information up in the cloud and you'd be set right now.

 

[mr.moon1488]

I found this one funny just because it's like this nigger couldn't figure out his/her name, and is apparently trying to hit on me from a doggie hospice.

 

[JM 590]

"Victim

Your laptop is infected by the injurious app .

Whats the scam?

I placed the malicious agent on a porn web site, you pushed that entry and instantly set the badware to your device .

This malicious software made your selfie-camera capturing video so I receive the video record with you dash your doodle.

In next 5 hours that malicious software hijacked all the contact numbers numbers.

t the moment, I possess all your info and videorecord with you burp the worm, now if you want me to eliminate all the contact numbers pay me 363 united states dollar in BTC cryptocurrency.

If not I wanna send that this movie to all your relatieves .

I send you mine Bitcoin wallet – REDACTED You own 28 hours after getting this. In a case if I earn this money I promise undo that this movie evermore.

I ask pardon for my grammar- English is not my native language .
P.S. this mail addr ess, I have snaffled it.
Do not reply to this email. It is temporary email address!"

I like the Victorian sounding slang. 'Snaffled it', 'burp the worm', 'dash your doodle'. Reminds me of Michael Crichton's 'The Great Train Robbery'.

Plug his bitcoin address into blockchain.info and see if he's received any payments on it