Share Your School Stories - Weirdos, freaks, and idiots (self-inclusion optional)

  • Apologies for the site issues. The server's shipment was delayed. I'll ask again about it and if they can't provide it I'll source another.

toilet_rainbow

like a monster truck in the nightlife
kiwifarms.net
In my middle school, home ec was only for eighth graders. Sixth and seventh grade was “career education.” Basically, we learned about who we could be when we grew up. It was as boring as you’d expect it to be.

At the course’s start, we had ten minutes to brainstorm as many different occupations one could have as possible. Then the teacher would have us recite our list to compare. One kid suggested “thief.” Another said “smuggler.” I said “stripper.”

Strangely, the teacher was more offended by smuggler than stripper. I was usually a teacher’s pet but this was the first week into middle school. I lacked that leverage. I thought I was fucked. But she smiled after everyone lost their shit and did this little shimmy as she quipped, “well it IS a career, people!”
 

Synthesia

kiwifarms.net
In 4th Grade, there was this kid who was tall, freckled and had red hair. For some reason, whenever I had to sit by him, he just smelled horrible. Not his body, but his mouth. I don't think it was regular "didn't brush much". It smelled very odd, but horrible. Like, sweet, sour, death. He may have had an underlining medical problem.

In 5th Grade, there was an issue in another classroom about someone stabbing another student in the hand with a pencil. It went right through. For years, I thought it was just some dude who didn't like the girl or whatever. Recently, I found out it was my sister, and that's why we had to leave that school.
 

Shield Breaker

^_^
kiwifarms.net
In high school, there was this one kid who kept acting like he was some hardcore druggie, but it was clear as day he was full of shit and didn't have the first clue what the hell he was talking about. We used to fuck with him. My friend and I sold him a red M&M that had the M licked off for $10 telling him it was Ecstasy. He popped it and spent the next three hours acting like he was euphoric. Another group of people got him to smoke catnip telling him it was primo weed.
There was a kid who snorted sugar in middle school. Kept doing it too, despite saying it burned.
 

SAVE TWINKIE!

Supervisor
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Sophmore year in HS there was this boy who was really hot shit, and one especially kEwL thing about him was he was into rock climbing. One day he scrambled up the wall of the classroom, grabbed the ceiling support beam and started crawling along the ceiling upside down like spider man while everyone watched, oohing and aahing. Even the teacher was encouraging this (it was Communications class and the teacher was a total ditz). Anyway his grip slipped and he fell straight to the floor in the middle of the room and broke his back. lol
 

Gravityqueen4life

i am full but i must eat.
kiwifarms.net
My high school years in a nutshell: lots of teen moms (many of them of the "good Christian girl" type 🤔), lots of backstabbers, lots of deaths, and a group of rich kids in my class that was strangely obsessed with me taking a weird turn after everyone graduated.
sounds you got some stories to tell. please share.
 

Brain Power

Go away... Leave me alone...
kiwifarms.net
sounds you got some stories to tell. please share.
Oh, I will. I just need to write them somewhere else before sharing them here, since I'm not very good at writing long stuff. I'll put this one for now:
There was a girl I knew since kindergarten that always NEEDED to have perfect grades, so much that if she had something under ~6.5 (out of 7), she annoyed the teachers until they gave her a better grade. I always told her "Just accept it, no one's perfect" but she never changed. Last thing I heard of her is that she's studying medicine and is struggling to get high grades now.
One funny thing, I was better at english class than her, and she hated it :story:
 

Pitere pit

Yaniv are you ok? Are you ok? Are you ok Yaniv?
kiwifarms.net
In my, idk how to translate it to English, former "vocational college", alcoholic beer was available, they just put a non_alcoholic beer label on the tap. Best_without counting ma's_ potatoes omelettes I've ever had.
Another one is when I was in high school, this happened before I was into it, some kiddo died because he was stabbed by some gang, in his memory they planted an olive on the garden.
 

Ginger Piglet

Fictional Manhunt Survivor
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
The Weird Kid by the standards of other weird kids. We'll call him John Frederick Englefield because that wasn't his name.

Now, I was a weird kid in that I liked heavy metal and D&D and computery things and Magic the Gathering (the latter of which I gave up when I got to university because I couldn't find a game anywhere and the cardboard crack ate into my valuable drinking budget. Got even harder into the heavy metal though) and all my friends were weird kids as well. I have, (un)fortunately, lost contact with them by now. One of them got a job in Shoreditch and then went full hipster and then full SJW and blocked everyone who voted leave on all platforms after the Brexit referendum. Another had his egg hatched in 2015 and he is now a she. A third works for some far left groupuscule that agitates for Corbynite and/or Communist party politicians. (The latter two of these went to Oxford by the way, as did my alcoholic ex which just proves that Oxford turns you nuts.) But then there was John Frederick Englefield. Oh, now he was weird even by our standards.

John Frederick Englefield (JFE) was deeply myopic and wore really thick glasses. Fair enough. Can't fault him for that. Someone people are just cursed from birth with shit eyes. He also had a harelip which had been not very well repaired and as such spoke as if his tongue was too large for his mouth. He also went everywhere wearing this aged blue fleece that smelled faintly of piss. He used to attempt to rules lawyer horrifically, and I think he was clearly an autist in retrospect, and he had this weird secret language he made up and sometimes blurted out things in which seemed to be standard English but with the consonants all munged. But he seemed on the level a lot of the time and he had a really filthy sense of humour.

This all went slightly wrong when I found myself a gf. We'll call her Ramona because that wasn't her name. She wasn't one of the weird kids and later turned out to be what animu types would call tsundere, but I was young and dumb and full of come and she had a really, really, nice pair of boobs. Well, I introduced her electronically over AIM ('member AIM?) to the rest of the gang and JFE took a shine to her and started bombarding her with strange love poetry. And then when she did meet him after much insistence from her (I still don't know what brought that on to be honest) he basically raped her, she told me.

Once I found out about this I offered to go right over to JFE's place and beat him to within an inch of his life but she wasn't having it, and besides he'd skipped town anyhow. Ramona semi blamed me for introducing me to him and it went tits up from there. The last thing I heard from him was something about how you people don't understand what happened when he basically raped Ramona and there were forces at work that would blow our tiny minds.

I have completely failed to find JFE since then. Absolutely no matches whatever on any social media for his real name which are clearly him (there are people who share a name who aren't him that I've found) or any of the handles he used to use. Also been unable to find anything about him anywhere or anything on 192.com or other services like that. It's like he vanished off the face of the fucking earth. I can only hope he an hero'd out of guilt. However I suspect he's still out there, posting madly on incel boards about how the filthy foids won't give him time of day.
 

Pinot Pierrot

The naive one, forever waiting.
kiwifarms.net
Though I didn't need to, I decided to spend my college freshman year living on-campus. I had never lived in a dormitory before, so I figured it was one of those experiences that shouldn't be missed out on. What a naive bastard I was.

My roommate was a lanky Chinese kid who didn't understand hygiene or personal space (my parents gossiped that he must be from one of those regions where people only shower once a week). I'm not sure if he actually smelled bad because I would breathe with my mouth around him, but his long, unwashed hair was slick with oil; when he wanted me to check something online with my laptop, he would lean over until his nose was practically touching the screen, with his greasy hair draping over my keyboard and hands. I quickly opted for the rest of the year to sleep on the couch in the common area, just so I didn't have to deal with him every night. I only go back inside to grab a change of clothes and bathroom essentials, and every time I do I see piles of his stuff strewn about carelessly with the occasional box of half-eaten food. The place smelled.

Life in the common area itself wasn't actually too bad. Unlike the rooms, it has air-conditioning that worked half the time as opposed to not existing in the first place, and I'm the type to like cold air. A couple times the RA would ask questions about why I'm not sleeping in my room, but it was only twice out of the entire year. It's not uncommon for students to study or do their homework overnight, so I would pop my laptop open, spread out my homework and notes on the table, and play some JJBA episodes before dozing off without looking too out-of-place. Granted, it was a miracle my laptop didn't get stolen while I slept, but I can't say the same for my filtered water pitcher - two of them, both disappearing within a couple days of leaving them in the public fridge. Must be a hot commodity.

There was also a prankster who left a thumbtack in my shoe. I wasn't even aware people did that anymore until I felt the prickling sensation, but my calloused feet saved me - the pin didn't break my skin.

Those instances of thievery and the one prank aside, most of the people within the dorm were mindful of others, the only exception being the loud gaggle of Chinese exchange students that would hang out in the common area around midnight (very insular group, couldn't find myself ever being a part of them). I can sleep through the noise, but you can tell they were around before you even enter the building. They would also stand outside of the entrance to have a cigarette, regardless of if there were any windows open for the secondhand smoke to blow inside.

One time, they cooked for themselves using the common area's kitchen, spilling a jar of fermented bamboo shoots in the process. The common area reeked of the stuff, so I ended up being the one to wipe the mess up since they didn't. Couldn't really do anything about the pot of cooked rice they left out though, and nobody claimed it until the contents inside have already turned into an exciting tableau of feathery mold days later.

I spent the rest of my college years commuting. No points for guessing why.
 

edboy

I love you
kiwifarms.net
In the 80's, 2 girls killed themselves in the girl's locker room bathroom in some suicide pact after school hours. Years later, a lot of teachers who taught in the building right next to it claimed that they felt a "coldness" touch them when they stood there after hours.
It became such a common complaint that the school moved after-school tutoring classes that were taught there across the school.

One of the students from photography class ended up taking a pic of what he said was a ghost in the building with a Polaroid camera. (I saw the picture, and it was admittedly pretty spooky looking even though I didn't believe in ghosts). It freaked the fuck out of the teachers that taught there, and like half of them wanted to move their classes elsewhere. The school didn't let them move, so they had "teacher assistants" (just students who volunteered) that would stay with the teachers after hours. When this happened there were a lot of jokes about student-teacher "relations" happening after class among a lot of students.

Throughout my sophomore year all the way to my senior year, the buildings were put "under construction", and were just kind of left sitting there with white tarps and stacked up chairs blocking the entrances.
 

The Last Stand

Hope you had a great Madri Gras!
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I remember coming back from class, walking back to my dormitory to notice three to four cop cars outside in the front.

During that, I saw this basketball player just run from the entrance to his hallways. He looked like he was in a rush; I didn't think anything of it. Five minutes later, our counselor walks in asking if we saw this basketball player run in the building. I pointed to his direction. Another minute passes, three cops fitted with armor, one with a shield, starts coming in Rainbow Six Siege style in that same direction.

Then he starts running out the building and all these cops start chasing him. He was fast; one cop literally tripped while chasing him. They eventually caught him and put him in the back of a car.

The cop tripping was the highlight of the whole chase; I was dying of laughter for five minutes straight.
 

millais

The Yellow Rose of Victoria, Texas
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Though I didn't need to, I decided to spend my college freshman year living on-campus. I had never lived in a dormitory before, so I figured it was one of those experiences that shouldn't be missed out on. What a naive bastard I was.

My roommate was a lanky Chinese kid who didn't understand hygiene or personal space (my parents gossiped that he must be from one of those regions where people only shower once a week). I'm not sure if he actually smelled bad because I would breathe with my mouth around him, but his long, unwashed hair was slick with oil; when he wanted me to check something online with my laptop, he would lean over until his nose was practically touching the screen, with his greasy hair draping over my keyboard and hands. I quickly opted for the rest of the year to sleep on the couch in the common area, just so I didn't have to deal with him every night. I only go back inside to grab a change of clothes and bathroom essentials, and every time I do I see piles of his stuff strewn about carelessly with the occasional box of half-eaten food. The place smelled.

Life in the common area itself wasn't actually too bad. Unlike the rooms, it has air-conditioning that worked half the time as opposed to not existing in the first place, and I'm the type to like cold air. A couple times the RA would ask questions about why I'm not sleeping in my room, but it was only twice out of the entire year. It's not uncommon for students to study or do their homework overnight, so I would pop my laptop open, spread out my homework and notes on the table, and play some JJBA episodes before dozing off without looking too out-of-place. Granted, it was a miracle my laptop didn't get stolen while I slept, but I can't say the same for my filtered water pitcher - two of them, both disappearing within a couple days of leaving them in the public fridge. Must be a hot commodity.

There was also a prankster who left a thumbtack in my shoe. I wasn't even aware people did that anymore until I felt the prickling sensation, but my calloused feet saved me - the pin didn't break my skin.

Those instances of thievery and the one prank aside, most of the people within the dorm were mindful of others, the only exception being the loud gaggle of Chinese exchange students that would hang out in the common area around midnight (very insular group, couldn't find myself ever being a part of them). I can sleep through the noise, but you can tell they were around before you even enter the building. They would also stand outside of the entrance to have a cigarette, regardless of if there were any windows open for the secondhand smoke to blow inside.

One time, they cooked for themselves using the common area's kitchen, spilling a jar of fermented bamboo shoots in the process. The common area reeked of the stuff, so I ended up being the one to wipe the mess up since they didn't. Couldn't really do anything about the pot of cooked rice they left out though, and nobody claimed it until the contents inside have already turned into an exciting tableau of feathery mold days later.

I spent the rest of my college years commuting. No points for guessing why.
At one point in college, I was basically living out of the various libraries because most of my flatmates were total slobs and the walls were paperthin and one guy was always shittily practicing guitar/singing in his room and bringing over his noisy drunken friends to party in our common area and kitchen. I would only return to the apartment to shower and change clothes. At one point, some of the flatmates were so lazy about taking out trash that they actually brought in a second kitchen trash can just to extend the length of time they could wait before being forced to do trash removal. Also we never paid for trash bin service like we were supposed to; instead we just illegally dumped our trash in other businesses' dumpsters at odd hours of the night.

Living out of the library was kind of amusing. Towards the end, I became totally shameless about plopping down in the most comfortable chair or seating area to play computer games whenever I had finished studying or reading, which resulted in many dirty looks from people who were still trying to get shit done. I remember one time, I had one of the best conference rooms in the library all to myself and was intensely engrossed in a close match of Red Orchestra 2 where I was carrying the team, when a whole bunch of people burst into the conference room at once and said they had booked the space for a graduate level seminar and needed me to leave, and I brushed them off for like a full minute with idle small talk while running to a safe hiding spot in the game, and then sprinted a few floors up with my laptop and bag to find the nearest available chair with a desk surface, so I could immediately return to the match, which I thankfully had not missed much of.

But not all my flatmates were so bad. One friend had this external hard drive with an HD BluRay rip of what seemed like every movie ever pirated in the history of the world, and a few of us made a tradition of going to the biggest lecture hall on campus at night to use the big digital projector, sound system, and fifty-foot screen to watch all those classic films that are best appreciated on a really big screen. We weren't the only people who did that kind of thing, but we did it the most, so most of the time we would always be able to snag the biggest lecture hall for movie nights. The few times we had to downgrade to the music department's lecture hall due to other people using the biggest one for their movie nights, we felt kind of bad because sometimes people showed up at the music lecture hall intending to practice on the grand piano there, but we were already there first, watching a movie. We would invite them to stay for the movie, but nobody took up the offer. It was always really fun due to the quality of the digital projector and sound, though the lecture hall seats were not that comfortable and it was hard as hell to balance beer bottles and ice cream and all the other snacks on those tiny, wobbly fold-out desks bolted to the chairs
 

TheGreatCitracett

One of those FAT New Zealand guys
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Not my story, but a friend from work likes to tell this one.

This was probably around 2010. Junior or maybe senior year of high school. English class. There was this one super quiet, scrawny, spergy kid who kept to himself and never really talked or did much of anything.

One day, the homework assignment was to write a speech and read it out loud in front of the class the next day. Surprisingly, the spergy kid actually did it. Speech order was picked at random and after a few kids had presented, it was his turn.

He heads to the front of the room, paper in hand, and steps up to the podium to read his speech.

He pauses, takes a deep breath, and grips the podium tight with both hands. Then, at full volume, with all the excitement and intensity of a 90s X-treme sports announcer, screams:

"IN THE WORLD... OF WAAAARCRAFT!"

The class is stunned into silence for about a second before erupting into laughter. The kid grabs his paper and bolts from the classroom. The elderly, soft-spoken teacher tries to call him back and calm the class but he ran straight out of the school and stayed home for a week or so. Apparently there was concern he might come back with a gun and shoot up the school, but he was just back to his usual self like nothing happened.

Nobody knows what his speech was about beyond the opening line, he took it when he ran home and never turned it in.
 

Big Nasty

ASSHOLE
kiwifarms.net
I remember this time when we got an assignment to submit a one-page handwritten presentation on a subject of our own choosing the next day.
One kid turned in a paper where half the page was a badly-drawn Metallica logo and rest was crammed full of comical spelling errors such as "Jemas Hifell" and "Laars Utrick".
 

Consider Lizards

"In yr Spheres, touching yr Eldritch"
kiwifarms.net
I remember this time when we got an assignment to submit a one-page handwritten presentation on a subject of our own choosing the next day.
One kid turned in a paper where half the page was a badly-drawn Metallica logo and rest was crammed full of comical spelling errors such as "Jemas Hifell" and "Laars Utrick".
Two great usernames there, if anyone is a lurking.
 

Broseph

Assistant Mana-Jerk @ Mal-Wart
kiwifarms.net
I remember this time when we got an assignment to submit a one-page handwritten presentation on a subject of our own choosing the next day.
One kid turned in a paper where half the page was a badly-drawn Metallica logo and rest was crammed full of comical spelling errors such as "Jemas Hifell" and "Laars Utrick".
Was this in high school?
 
Tags
None