Share Your School Stories - Weirdos, freaks, and idiots (self-inclusion optional)

D.Angus

kiwifarms.net
I remember how we got the microwaves taken away through out my four years of high-school and several years after. It was the last period of the day and I was in study hall in the cafeteria . I forget what the teacher watching the entire cafeteria was doing, there was only a handful of us so they might have stepped out for a bit or something.. I don't remember who but a few guys get the bright idea to throw a bunch of shit into the microwave, grapes and I think a cupcake/muffin wrapper, and set it for a dumb ass time. A few minutes go by and it started to smell, but nothing too bad till about 6 minutes in when the smoke started to come out. By this time of day the lunchroom workers would have been cleaned up and left by now, so there wasn't really anyone to notice the thick smoke and nasty smell coming from the microwave. A couple more minutes pass, and by this point half the cafeteria pretty much coughing and choking, and I think someone came by to unplug the microwave. Right after it was unplugged the fire-alarm went off and the whole study hall just looked at each other because we weren't fully sure it was us or another classroom. The rest of the day was spent outside in the typical fire drill waiting areas as we waited for an all clear and buses were delayed going home because of it.

The next day things go as normal, though a few people did notice the lack of microwaves at lunch. Study hall time comes and starts as normal. After attendance is done in walks the principal and the vice principal. "We aren't too sure who did it yesterday, but we did know someone tampered with the microwave in here during this time.." cue everyone in study hall just blankly staring and blinking as he kept going. "Because of this, everyone is to report to this room for study hall this period from now on, and library privileges are revoked." So the dozen or so of us were crammed into a classroom where we all spent the rest of the year doing our study halls at. The microwaves were replaced almost ten years after the incident, mostly because of student parents complaining that Johnny couldn't microwave his nu-organic kale loaf or whatever so they had to cave and get the lowest powered (500 or 600 watts) ones they could find. This all happened before "Is it a good idea to microwave this?" even debuted, but I'd like to think that was part of the reason it took forever to get microwaves back.
 

Wraith

Made pure again from the hardest game on earth.
kiwifarms.net
Had this chubby chick dog my ass in health class for like months. I mean she was close to me pounding her face in on multiple occasions. Maybe I was too inexperienced to pick up on it, but maybe, maybe she was just teasing because she had a thing for me. ... Nah. It'd never happen. Anyway final day of class / end of the year I had enough of her crap and told her that she was so ugly you could drape her in steaks and the dog wouldn't go near her. Old crack. Didn't think it'd land. First time I ever saw a girl break down and cry on me. Huh. I guess subtlety doesn't work on me the way some people think.
 

Nondescript Autist

kiwifarms.net
In 6th grade, I got paired with a notoriously spergy kid for a science class presentation about the solar system or something like that. He spelled sun as "snu" and even the teacher was holding back laughter. Another kid kept coming up to me with these autistic schemes to get a certain girl to fall in love with him. Usually, they involved me tripping her and him catching her. Needless to say, I just told him he was being a dumbass and she'd already rejected him like five times already. According to school legend, those two guys went into the bathroom together once. Shortly after, one yelled "dude, that's so gay!" and ran away.

Two different friends also sent me these really long and intricate explanations of dreams they had about date-raping the same girl, a couple years apart. Is this one of those things that happens at every high school, or were my friends particularly weird?

edit- clarified that I didn't go along with the spergy schemes
 

FuckedUp

Trump's half-Chosen
kiwifarms.net
I remember going to school after the Michelle Obama healthy lunch program. Basically, schools were required to serve healthier food options. No more fries, pizza, junk food, etc. The problem is that school lunch was disgusting as it was. This program made it worse.

The school lunch was either undercooked, burnt or just bleh. The chicken nuggets were pink inside. The hot dogs were barely red. The pasta and meat sauce, basically inedible.

Literally, students were grab their lunch and toss it in the trash can NEXT TO THE LUNCH LADIES.

I would pack my lunch usually, but they would only have two microwaves in a cafeteria. We had about an half hour to eat as well, so you better hope you'd hightail it to the lunchroom in time.

I remember they even banned sodas from school. If you brought a soda from home, they'd make you throw it out.
When I was in elementary school, I got excited by the soda machines in middle and high schools and couldn't wait to drink all that soda in school. Then that cunt took them away right before I got the chance to.
 

FuckedUp

Trump's half-Chosen
kiwifarms.net
My high school had an annual day-long GLAAD assembly that teachers could choose to take their classes to. In junior year they were doing a Q&A during my English class, and some trans kid admitted their first "community" was "4chan's LGBT board". A couple girls behind me asked themselves what 4chan was, so I turned around and told them to get out their phones and enter "4chan.org/b/". The looks on their faces were priceless.
 

AnaV

kiwifarms.net
Once when I was in middle school, I was waiting in line for lunch then some kid does one of those top doorframe slaps, misses, busts his head open and starts bleeding everywhere, like a pool of blood. An ambulance arrived and I never found out what happened to the kid, we weren't allowed in the lunch hall till the next day, IE we ate in the main hall.
 

Duncan Hills Coffee

Pees out the side of his dick
kiwifarms.net
When I was in elementary school, I got excited by the soda machines in middle and high schools and couldn't wait to drink all that soda in school. Then that cunt took them away right before I got the chance to.
What's fucked up is that we had soda machines, but all the regular soda was replaced with diet soda, you know, the stuff that's even worse for you.
 

CWCissey

Charming Man
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
They did that over here after Jamie Oliver decided to be a spaz.

Luckily it didn't go into full force until I was in Sixth Form, so at that point I could tell the teachers to fuck off if they whinge that I'm drinking a Coca Cola, but I do know the vending machines in the canteen got tipped over by some angry Year 10s when they got rid of the pop in place of Fruit Shoots and bottled water.
 

Bender

I bend the truth.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
They did that over here after Jamie Oliver decided to be a spaz.

Luckily it didn't go into full force until I was in Sixth Form, so at that point I could tell the teachers to fuck off if they whinge that I'm drinking a Coca Cola, but I do know the vending machines in the canteen got tipped over by some angry Year 10s when they got rid of the pop in place of Fruit Shoots and bottled water.
Fuck Jamie Oliver, that dickhead got Turkey Twizzlers banned, and then made a video showing off his own fucking version of Turkey Twizzlers.
 

hyperfujis

i like my ouma pancakes with some oowada butter
kiwifarms.net
When I was in elementary school, I got excited by the soda machines in middle and high schools and couldn't wait to drink all that soda in school. Then that cunt took them away right before I got the chance to.
At my school, they didn't quite take them away, but they only made them available after school hours so only people taking extracurriculars could buy soda.
 

AnOminous

Really?
True & Honest Fan
Retired Staff
kiwifarms.net
Fuck Jamie Oliver, that dickhead got Turkey Twizzlers banned, and then made a video showing off his own fucking version of Turkey Twizzlers.
That guy has to be the most abject fuck imaginable, a posh cunt who wants to take away any pleasure the pleb classes have, meanwhile pimping incredibly fatty unhealthy recipes himself. He should feed himself into a trash compactor.
 

CWCissey

Charming Man
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
That guy has to be the most abject fuck imaginable, a posh cunt who wants to take away any pleasure the pleb classes have, meanwhile pimping incredibly fatty unhealthy recipes himself. He should feed himself into a trash compactor.
His series on cooking with what people would likely have in their cupboards during the Kung Flu Quarantine was laughable.
 
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