Share Your School Stories - Weirdos, freaks, and idiots (self-inclusion optional)

vertexwindi

Diddy in space, even though he's not
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Had a physics teacher who was a literal pedo, during high school. He would show to class early in the morning smelling of alcohol and very unkempt, his behavior was always very erratic and weird and he would joke about girl's body parts in the middle of the class.
One time, he compared some pendulum mechanics shit to the movement a woman do with her hips when walking and comparing the center of the mass with her asshole. He also asked us to open or textbooks ''very good and slow'' while giving a maniacal laugh.

Dude was a mess and one day he simply didn't show up and a new teacher took his place. We all guessed they fired him. And hopefully jailed, because yeah.
Oh shit, we had a pedo physics teacher too! He wasn't nearly as bad as that, but he did always act kinda weird around the girls in class and took a lot of opportunities to stand close to them. Always looked like he just woke up from a hangover too, would have food bits in his unkempt beard, shit like that.

He was gone the next year. They never told us why, but it wasn't hard to figure out.
 

saralovesjuicyfruit

kiwifarms.net
What is it with physics teachers? Mine wasn't a pedo but he was certainly odd. He was socially awkward and he looked like a stereotypical 40 year old nerd, probably because he was. I don't have any interesting stories about him but a lot of students made fun of him.
I had a weird physics teacher too. He was really good at his job, and not creepy or anything, but he had crazy mood swings sometimes. I felt like maybe he was literally bipolar.
 

NerdShamer

kiwifarms.net
What is it with physics teachers? Mine wasn't a pedo but he was certainly odd. He was socially awkward and he looked like a stereotypical 40 year old nerd, probably because he was. I don't have any interesting stories about him but a lot of students made fun of him.
Might have something to do with the subject, itself. The only people who used to thrive in it where the nerds.

On a different note, how terrible was the food, growing up? Because outside from the Russian bitch causing an stampede or two (she liked to argue and lived to fight.Looking bsck, she might be an aspie, considering how she thought I and several other people were thirsting after her and kept wearing the same jacket) the only thing that I looked forward to from the cafeteria was the chili dogs, which was made by one of the better restaurants in town. Otherwise, we get an pita stuff with PB&J, an bag filled with an milk, shitty Mexican food, or a salad every now and then. And considering the mess we left from eating (our lunchroom is an around 40 tables, outside, underneath an metal roof) I kinda felt bad for the janitor. He was an nice, aging man, but you wouldn't believe how much work he had after we was done...And speaking of him, I actually dreaded going to the nearby bathrooms because the toilets are either: Clogged with shit, the floor is soaked with piss, or there's used toilet paper everywhere. And it was also close to the special ed classroom, so it was either them or the Mexicans; I figured it was the spics on account on how often it looked like that.
 

An Sionnach Seang

Justin Bieber shit's like a cat!
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a lad in the year above me once spent an entire registration period breaking pencils on his forehead, and had to go to the nurse because he got splinters in his forehead
there was nothing wrong with him, he was just a bit dim and would do nearly anything for a laugh
 

tasty humane burger

hokey cokey, pig in a pokey!
kiwifarms.net
What is it with physics teachers? Mine wasn't a pedo but he was certainly odd. He was socially awkward and he looked like a stereotypical 40 year old nerd, probably because he was. I don't have any interesting stories about him but a lot of students made fun of him.
One of the physics teachers at my school used to wear trousers that were way too small for him and you could see an outline of his huge wang anytime he walked. He got called Mr Semi. He wasn't particularly creepy or anything, just a boring guy in his 40s. Iirc, he made a lot of dad jokes but apart from that if his DICK wasn't on display for the whole school to see he would not be remarkable at all. However he did replace a physics teacher who was there before I started and took a nervous breakdown in front of another teachers class because he got bullied by the kids. Unsure how exaggerated this is but my older sibling had a friend in said class that he ran into and apparently he appeared, crying and screamed "(teacher name) I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! IT'S THE CHILDREN!" He was never seen again.

The other physics teacher was a raving looney Christian who just couldn't teach. She was frumpy and always had crazy dyed hair that made her look about 65 even though she had kids in primary school. She threw a pen at me on my first day of school so I never liked her, she always stressed me out but the people who took physics all the way through school have fond memories of her and many still speak to her and they exchange Christmas gifts etc.
 
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Chan Fan

Quarantine Queen
kiwifarms.net
When I was in 6th grade a kid brought a gun to school. Before anyone gets too excited it ended up being a pellet gun but it looked like a real handgun and he showed it to two of his friends without telling them it wasn't real. Regardless it's not something you should have in school and he shouldn't have brought it. The two kids he showed were known troublemakers, always getting in trouble for silly things. They were more like class clowns that harmful to anyone (no fighting, just goofy pranks usually.) One of them was a pretty talented artist. He asked to talk to a counselor but ended up talking to the vice principal, drawing a picture of the gun since he didn't know what kind of gun it was. Pellet gun or not, the kid was expelled for the rest of the year.

I think they took pity on him because he was very poor and his illiterate grandmother was raising him (I knew the family personally so I can confirm this was absolutely the case) so he was back in school when I started 7th grade. He got in a fight with another boy within the first week; a pretty bad fight, too. Then he was gone for good. I never saw him in the neighborhood again either so no idea what happened to him.
 

DrainRedRain

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Oh shit, we had a pedo physics teacher too! He wasn't nearly as bad as that, but he did always act kinda weird around the girls in class and took a lot of opportunities to stand close to them. Always looked like he just woke up from a hangover too, would have food bits in his unkempt beard, shit like that.

He was gone the next year. They never told us why, but it wasn't hard to figure out.
Man, wtf is wrong with physics teachers like, holy shit
 

Spunt

A Leading Source of Experimental Internet Gas
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When I was in the lower 6th form (in the UK, age 16-17), we had a scheme where L6 kids would be paired up with kids in year 7 (age 11-12) to do one-on-one reading with them, discuss the books with them, help them with any words they didn't know etc. The kid I was paired with was pretty smart and didn't really need my help, so I got a quiet 40 minutes once a week. But one of my friends was paired up with a kid called Tom.

Something was really, really off about Tom. He looked Mongoloid, but because he had an Asian surname he may have got his epicanthic folds the normal way. I'm pretty sure he had some level of autism, but he didn't get any special ed provisions as far as I knew (and in the UK you'll get special ed provision out the wazoo if your kid is in any way subnormal, it's not hard to get if you need it), and it looks like his parents decided to mainstream school him either out of denial or a misplaced desire to socialise him.

Whilst my kid burned through three Willard Price books over the course of the school year (Who else remembers Willard Price books? They were equal parts ludicrous and badass.), Tom didn't manage to get even half way through his first book. It wasn't through lack of reading ability, just a complete inability to concentrate on the book, or even on reality. Trying to talk to the kid would result in a non-sequitur. This kid just parroted phrases he'd heard like a Mynah Bird, completely out of context. He had a number of phrases he'd use constantly. I remember one, "Go on Shag, have a go, he's off his line!", because it was from a Nick Hancock football bloopers video that I happened to own. But his favourite was "Always leave the water running", said in the same tone of voice as "No wire hangers" from Mommy Dearest. I have no idea where that was from, but if you asked him a question there was about a 25% chance that this would be his reply.

He was usually very calm and quiet, but would have random outbursts of emotion that were completely out of control, over trivial shit that was never possibly to predict. One class the teacher asked the kids to design the front cover for some short booklet they were supposed to write. 5 minutes in, Tom takes his "artwork" to the teacher. The teacher asks what he wants, and he holds the paper up to her, says "I don't like it!" and burst into tears. This then became a screaming tantrum necessitating him being removed from the building. The even weirder thing was that he hadn't drawn anything yet, just a square border.
 

Chan Fan

Quarantine Queen
kiwifarms.net
I had a close friend in high school that I met through a mutual friend. Let's call him BS (because those were literally his initials haha!) He was a really good guy, super nice, interesting, had the drive at 14 to work out and lose a bunch of weight, volunteered with disabled kids, pretty much a solid guy across the board. We lost touch for a few years until one day he called me and asked if we could hang out again...then it got weird.

I expected to meet up with the same guy from school but BS was much different. He told me his aspiration was to be a bartender and he used all of the money not spent on rent and gas to buy alcohol and used his entire tax return check at a liquor outlet store. He did that thing where he didn't directly ask me for money but kept talking about how he didn't know how he was going to make rent and how he didn't have any food. The first few times we hung out I didn't think much of it because I figured he just needed someone to vent to. Knowing he didn't have any food at his place I bought a bag of bagels and a jar of peanut butter, thinking I could keep it there for a snack when I went to visit him again and the next time I was there he said his roommate's dog ate it. He was unable to explain to me how the dog got into the kitchen cabitnet to a shelf six feet off the ground so I never did that again.

Perhaps the weirdest thing about the guy was he was suddenly very interested in his Irish heritage and said that was why he liked to drink. His last name was absolutely NOT Irish nor was he able to prove this heritage in any way. He just started telling everyone he was Irish and at one point asked his male friend if he wanted to have an "Irish family reunion" with him and when I asked what that meant he said "he's gonna meet me in a parking lot later so we can fight." It turns out that BS only had this weird obsession because he liked the movie The Boondock Saints [which is an awesome movie but not worth faking your heritage over.]

Oh, and he had a dating profile that said he was "looking for a woman who will stroke my hair when I'm took drunk to stand." I made the mistake of lending him money and once I finally got it back he never spoke to me again and good riddance! The only good thing to come out of that friendship is being able to tell this story lol
 

The Last Stand

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Oh shit, we had a pedo physics teacher too! He wasn't nearly as bad as that, but he did always act kinda weird around the girls in class and took a lot of opportunities to stand close to them. Always looked like he just woke up from a hangover too, would have food bits in his unkempt beard, shit like that.
I had one Science teacher that wanted to give an hands on demonstration with a student about some science topic. I can't even remember the topic. This was high school.

I DO remember he called on me to "demonstrate" the concept in front of the whole class. He told me to stand in front in him, while he THRUSTED himself onto my back. He grabbed me on my shoulders, pushed (or pulled) me towards him and then thrusted his body onto me. While holding me.

I was visibly shaking and he whispered into my ear, "Stop." each time I was squirming.

He was a very fat guy too. Bald as well. I did not know what to do at the time. Nobody said anything.
 

AnOminous

Really?
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Oh, and he had a dating profile that said he was "looking for a woman who will stroke my hair when I'm took drunk to stand." I made the mistake of lending him money and once I finally got it back he never spoke to me again and good riddance!
That's actually a good way to get rid of people like this. Since they avoid you when they owe you money, just loan them $20 or something and you'll never see them again.
 

Master Crouton

dude wheres my kratom
kiwifarms.net
In high school there was this girl who would create weird fake profiles on Facebook of heavily tattooed emo guys and sock puppet them to flirt with her on her profile and pictures. It was obvious that they were fake because;

1. the profiles were so barren
2.they had the same shitty vocabulary and grammar quirks as she did
3. she would use pictures of several different guys per profile and claim they were all the same person, which was super obvious because they all had different tattoos.

It was like observing the e-equivalent of a girl child playing pretend with her dolls. She would orchestrate arguments between the different profiles, sometimes arguing over her (she ‘dated’ them at different times) and other times the arguments had nothing to do with her and were over fake scenarios that went down between these imaginary people. It was truly odd.

She also would steal pictures of girls who had similar hair to her’s, but with the face slightly covered, and claim that they were photos of her. It was really strange because she was very attractive and visually had no need to be pretending to be someone else.

It became super obvious that she was playing pretend on Facebook one cringy day when she had uploaded a image of a girl getting tattooed on the wrist and claimed it was her in the photo. Ofc she comes to school the next day and has nothing to show her eager classmates who were curious about her new ink.
 

Paulie #1

I'm in the mood of wearing some size 10 crocs
kiwifarms.net
In middle school, this creepy perfect blue Mamoru looking guy was stalking me from afar for about 4 months all because I had paired up with him for an art class project. ( I ended up getting a low grade on the project too because that asshole didn't finish his half of the project) He would constantly lick his lips because they were always chapped which always made him look like a crackhead when he would constantly lick his lower lip rapidly for like 2 minutes straight.

He would constantly follow me at a distance everywhere I went and it was super creepy. It got to the point where I had to hide in the restrooms during Lunchtime and ask my friends to walk me home because he would constantly follow me. It was so weird too because we probably only spoke to each other like 4 times when we did the art project.

Before the school year ended, he tried to ask me out during a school assembly by creeping up behind me and trying to grab my hand and pull me in for a embrace/hug (??) I was so over all the creepy bullshit and ended up chewing him out and telling him to stay away from me.
I guess just a small "fuck off" was enough for him to back off and never pursue me again. I found out years later that he did this to multiple girls at the time too which makes me feel so dumb for never really telling anyone at the school about that creep. big yikes.

I also later found out in Highschool that this creeper got kicked out of my rivalry high school because he threatened to "harm" an economics teacher over stupid politics or something.
 

Kari Kamiya

"I beat her up, so I gave her a cuck-cup."
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In first grade, we had one of those Christmas music programs the entire class was putting together and I was excited for it, we practiced it in music class all the time and I just couldn't wait to sing in front of everyone. But there apparently was a specific way we were practicing it that on that night, I was expecting this one thing we had always done it in when in actuality they were going about it another way. Out of shock and anger in having to be expected to "do something else" (I never liked change and routines being different growing up lol), I just sat in my chair in the very front pouting and having a scowl on my face and refused to do anything except glare over the top of my glasses. The entire hour. In my nicest clothes with my hair prettied up. Not even the teacher could get me to budge.

I only still remember this because my mom captured it on video complete with close-ups on my grumpy face. Apparently it was distracting to the audience to see this little girl pouting in front of the entire room, and Mom was just not happy about it, said it was one of the most embarrassing moments of her life. We've gone on to joke that we could've sent it in to America's Funniest Home Videos all those years ago, but never went through with it. But Mom's made a note to put it the under "[Kari's] Most Embarrassing Childhood Pictures/Videos" label for my dates/spouse.
 

MerriedxReldnahc

World's Okay-est Proctologist
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In first grade, we had one of those Christmas music programs the entire class was putting together and I was excited for it, we practiced it in music class all the time and I just couldn't wait to sing in front of everyone. But there apparently was a specific way we were practicing it that on that night, I was expecting this one thing we had always done it in when in actuality they were going about it another way. Out of shock and anger in having to be expected to "do something else" (I never liked change and routines being different growing up lol), I just sat in my chair in the very front pouting and having a scowl on my face and refused to do anything except glare over the top of my glasses. The entire hour. In my nicest clothes with my hair prettied up. Not even the teacher could get me to budge.

I only still remember this because my mom captured it on video complete with close-ups on my grumpy face. Apparently it was distracting to the audience to see this little girl pouting in front of the entire room, and Mom was just not happy about it, said it was one of the most embarrassing moments of her life. We've gone on to joke that we could've sent it in to America's Funniest Home Videos all those years ago, but never went through with it. But Mom's made a note to put it the under "[Kari's] Most Embarrassing Childhood Pictures/Videos" label for my dates/spouse.
Back in 5th grade band we were preparing for a big concert featuring all the of the nearby elementary school bands, I think both 5th and 6th grade. There was one song in particular that we would play where every time we practiced it, we skipped past one particular part. Our band teacher told us when we first learned the song to skip it and every other time we just knew to do that. Whenever I practiced I skipped over that section, like we did in band practice. Well, apparently there was a secret meeting before the concert where the band leader said "hey, we're going to go ahead and play this section at the concert even though we never practiced it. Nobody tell Reldnahc." When we reached that song in the program and I'm dootin away on my trumpet like a boss and all of a sudden I realize that the entirety of the band is doing something very different than what I'm doing. After a few confused honks and a moment of silence I realized that we were in fact performing the section we were always told to skip. I was able to play along decently well and the next few times we ran through that section I had figured out what to do, but our school's trumpet section sounded pretty rough for a bit. There were exactly two trumpet players and I was the not-shitty one, so if I don't know what to do we're kind of doomed.
 

Chan Fan

Quarantine Queen
kiwifarms.net
I went to high school in the suburbs and for some reason all the delinquent kids loved to talk about how they were in gangs. Most of the kids "claimed crip" which meant they only said they were in the gang but weren't part of it "yet." One girl even carved their symbol on her ankle. Of all the kids who claimed them none of them would wear red. It was all pretty hard to take serious. To me, the funniest part was that this random girl who hung out with the crip guys said she wouldn't wear purple because it was a "[other school] color." The name of the other school's gang? The Purpletrators. Yep, like the word perpetrator, only it incorporated their color haha
 

Mr. ShadowCreek

kiwifarms.net
Back in my freshman year (2006 or 2007) my teacher Mrs. Brown got in a little trouble because a boulder some classmates made was mistaken for a bomb. Our class was learning about Greek myths and we all head to do a product on a myth. One group did it on Sisyphus, the man who had to push a boulder for all eternity. They made a boulder out of newspapers and other materials. They put it outside to dry for the day. Someone saw it and thought it was a bomb. the bomb squad came and tore it apart. Mrs. Brown blamed the whole class for it.

In the same class their was this kid a year ahead of me called Andrew, but we'll call him "Angry Elf". Angry Elf sat alone at this big table in the middle of the class for whatever reason. He wasn't special or anything but he sat alone. During Christmas time one of the secondary teachers in the class gave or main teacher Mrs. Brown one of those clear plates that have clear rocks on it. She put it on the big desk next to Angry Elf's bookbag...yep. Just 5 minutes or so later Angry Elf grabbed his bag to get something and there was a loud crash. The plate shattered and the rocks went everywhere. Like a bunch of kindergartens everyone's month was open except Angry Elfs who had his hand over his month. The mess was cleaned and the secondary teacher looked all mopey afterword's. My friend Chris and I left later snickering and joking about it.
 
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