Share Your School Stories - Weirdos, freaks, and idiots (self-inclusion optional)

msd

Dorothy enthusiast
kiwifarms.net
Back in highschool I was friends with this white kid, decently tall, slim, had a ton of girls fawning over him.

Then 10th grade happened and he changed like a ton, became fat, smelled of cheese and generally acted super fucking weird. If I recall correctly he used to just walk up behind girls and randomly hug them, god it felt weird seeing him do all this stuff.

I got more stories but my memory is a bit fuzzy, when I remember the details fully I'll post more, because my school was weird man
 

Chan Fan

Quarantine Queen
kiwifarms.net
Here's a positive school story (though the bad ones are still pretty funny) - my 9th grade biology teacher began our sex ed class by saying, "Okay, so why do people have sex...aside from the fun part?" and everybody laughed. Someone said "to reproduce" and the class moved forward. The best part about this was that she broke the ice so effectively that people asked a lot of questions and the class wound up being really interesting and memorable, not awkward like it could have been
 

Troon Draugur

Stilgar of Troon. Facial Fremen-isation surgery
kiwifarms.net
Our science teacher was a tryhard (gay as hell, dyed hair, rainbow tie, "quirky" music taste) and noticing we weren't really paying attention in biology, he asked us about which of us were "obviously experts about vaginas". One kid said "Not you, sir, I've seen your boyfriend". shockedpikachu.jpg

Cue juvenile laughter, teacher bursts into literal tears, leaves the room, head of year enters a few minutes later, entire class in detention for a week. He was a little more subdued after that. Still makes me laugh, remembering his face.
 

CWCissey

Charming Man
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Our science teacher was a tryhard (gay as hell, dyed hair, rainbow tie, "quirky" music taste) and noticing we weren't really paying attention in biology, he asked us about which of us were "obviously experts about vaginas". One kid said "Not you, sir, I've seen your boyfriend". shockedpikachu.jpg

Cue juvenile laughter, teacher bursts into literal tears, leaves the room, head of year enters a few minutes later, entire class in detention for a week. He was a little more subdued after that. Still makes me laugh, remembering his face.
A good teacher would have taken that with good humour.
 

Chan Fan

Quarantine Queen
kiwifarms.net
A good teacher would have taken that with good humour.
He could have given a good retort, something like "Are you jealous?" haha

Yeah, he was an absolute faggot, literally and metaphorically. Kinda got the impression that even the other teachers didn't like him, tbh...
Why am I not surprised by that? Your desciption of him sounded pretty detestable. I was fairly certain that my biology teacher from my story a few posts up was a lesbian but the only problem anyone really had was her was she graded pretty tough
 

Beardless Lenin

kiwifarms.net
When I was in elementary, a new boy joined the grade below me, I'll call him Tom. Tom was tubby and had long greasy hair that would go down to his shoulders, and his head was slightly pear shaped. He had major ADHD, and you could feel that he was not all there in his head. He wasn't exactly a bad kid, a little whiny and annoying but not the worst.

Fast forward a couple years. Tom joined the same middle school as I did. It seemed like as the years went by, he was slowly losing his cognitive ability. He stopped bringing his school bag, and he would wear the same dirty clothes everyday. Tom wouldn't attend class, and he had no friends. He would just walk slowly around the school nonstop. It got even stranger when he stopped speaking all together, and he begun to bring a giant stuffed animal of a manta ray to school. He would just walk around, dragging this dirty manta ray with him, not speaking, with a one thousand yard stare. If anyone were to come up and speak to him, he would start swinging the manta ray towards them until they backed off, and he would continue walking without even saying a word. I even saw him walking around the town multiple times, the same way he did at school, alone and with that manta ray. I left that middle school that year and I never saw him again.

Ive thought about whether he was faking all this for attention. Although the fact that he would act like this even if no one was around him, and how he would walk around the school nonstop for hours brings this into doubt. Especially with his ADHD. He may have been annoying, but the fact that this is what he became is tragic. He came from very a broken home. I doubt whoever looked after him cared about how he was doing, otherwise they would have gotten him help.
 

Chan Fan

Quarantine Queen
kiwifarms.net
When I was in elementary, a new boy joined the grade below me, I'll call him Tom. Tom was tubby and had long greasy hair that would go down to his shoulders, and his head was slightly pear shaped. He had major ADHD, and you could feel that he was not all there in his head. He wasn't exactly a bad kid, a little whiny and annoying but not the worst.

Fast forward a couple years. Tom joined the same middle school as I did. It seemed like as the years went by, he was slowly losing his cognitive ability. He stopped bringing his school bag, and he would wear the same dirty clothes everyday. Tom wouldn't attend class, and he had no friends. He would just walk slowly around the school nonstop. It got even stranger when he stopped speaking all together, and he begun to bring a giant stuffed animal of a manta ray to school. He would just walk around, dragging this dirty manta ray with him, not speaking, with a one thousand yard stare. If anyone were to come up and speak to him, he would start swinging the manta ray towards them until they backed off, and he would continue walking without even saying a word. I even saw him walking around the town multiple times, the same way he did at school, alone and with that manta ray. I left that middle school that year and I never saw him again.

Ive thought about whether he was faking all this for attention. Although the fact that he would act like this even if no one was around him, and how he would walk around the school nonstop for hours brings this into doubt. Especially with his ADHD. He may have been annoying, but the fact that this is what he became is tragic. He came from very a broken home. I doubt whoever looked after him cared about how he was doing, otherwise they would have gotten him help.
That's so sad. I wish a counselor or something would have tried to help him, get him into a smaller class where he got more one on one attention
 

Longcat

Feline of Extraordinary Length
kiwifarms.net
For the majority of my high school years I was a mega weeb with very few friends and didn’t fully grow out of it until I was well into university, and I was blissfully unaware of identity politics until 2013 or so when it began to really emerge on Tumblr... and my school, students and faculty alike, got into it hardcore. We have a program here called Safe Schools which touts itself as anti-bullying, but is really just gender studies 101 for kids, my school was one of a handful throughout the country chosen to trial the program when it was new, and since I graduated a shit ton of people from my school have been parroting the currently trendy PC talking points, quite a few “non binaries” too. Though being in an area that’s basically Australia’s answer to ultra liberal US cities like Portland and San Francisco, it was kind of expected.

Also a kid several years below me died of a heart attack and there was an assembly held in his honour, it was a sad day for the whole school, I sort of knew his siblings as well and wonder how they’re getting on.
 

Puff

God of Chaos
kiwifarms.net
One of the guys in my circle in the band was ultra gullible. Like he fell for "look, someone wrote gullible on the ceiling!" several times. Great guy, but not the smartest man alive. Most of the interactions with him turned into improv sessions.
A notable one was the stapler test. Mr. Gullible was going to use the band directors stapler when the ringleader of our group stops him. "You can't use that, you haven't passed the stapler test".
Gullible, confused, asks what that is. "You've got to staple your arm before you can use the stapler. Like how cops have to get tased before being allowed to carry a taser". After everyone present affirms that they have passed the stapler test, he still won't bite (possibly jaded from being fucked with for three years), so Ringleader puts a staple in his arm like it was nothing. Gullible then buys it and spends the next minute or two working himself up to staple himself. He only manages to successfully get one tine in, which was declared not to count. I don't remember what happened next, but probably some variation of "fuck you guys".

Another with Gullible. I had long hair for all of high school, being a band nerd and whatnot. By the time this story came around I was kind of sick of the "why do you have long hair" question. I like it. Fuck you. You know, edgy, small town teenager shit.
Well, Gullible drops the question during band practice, and for some reason I decided the correct answer was "I don't have ears" kind of as a sarcastic fuck off. He doesn't believe me and asks the band director (who hadn't heard the exchange) if I had ears. The band director replied "No, he has slits, like Aquaman". The story eventually evolved into I was born without ears and was embarrassed by the prosthetic ears.

And that's why a solid portion of my old classmates think I do not have ears.
 

Meat Target

I'm what you call a professional
kiwifarms.net
I threw a chair at a kid who was talking shit about a volleyball game in gym earlier that day. Got a 1 day suspension.

My freshman year of high school (06-07), we were put on lockdown for 3 hours because someone wrote "On Friday I'm gonna end my life and take as many as I can with me" on the shitter wall (was no real threat, just some edgelord trying to get us out of school for the day).
 

mrsm0rbid

bag o' bones
kiwifarms.net
In elementary a girl died because her brother killed her and her mother. He claimed to be possessed.

7th grade drama a substitute teacher straight up just walked out on us. I'm not really sure why, because we were shitty but not that bad compared to usual, but it was pretty cool. She got in a lot of trouble and we wandered the halls in chaos like heathens.

8th grade science the class started making animal noises at a deathfat substitute during a silent reading period and made her cry because she couldn't make us stop. It started with one kid, and then another, and slowly it was a cacophony of monkeys, cows, elephants, etc.
She just broke down. I almost feel bad.

We had a kid get suspended for a "fuck list" because it made everyone super uncomfortable. He looked and acted like Cartman.
We had another kid make a kill list and he was gone for sooooo long after. He was a total tryhard fag with trenchcoats and shit. Ironically, he and the fuck list kid were friends and had gay rumors.

Two teachers were married and taught at the high school. One cheated on the other with another teacher and all the kids knew. They were regularly confronted in class by students.

Our woodshop teacher in middle school creeped on all of the girls.

I had some friends a few years younger than me. They lived in like white trash country bumpkin area just ouside the burbs. Somehow they got ahold of some guns and robbed the only fucking stores and restaurants in their town. WITHOUT MASKS.
Needless to say they were caught and did time. One for sure does meth and has kids he doesn't take care of. The other had a gauged prince albert if that says enough.
 

Bender

I bend the truth.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
In elementary a girl died because her brother killed her and her mother. He claimed to be possessed.

7th grade drama a substitute teacher straight up just walked out on us. I'm not really sure why, because we were shitty but not that bad compared to usual, but it was pretty cool. She got in a lot of trouble and we wandered the halls in chaos like heathens.

8th grade science the class started making animal noises at a deathfat substitute during a silent reading period and made her cry because she couldn't make us stop. It started with one kid, and then another, and slowly it was a cacophony of monkeys, cows, elephants, etc.
She just broke down. I almost feel bad.

We had a kid get suspended for a "fuck list" because it made everyone super uncomfortable. He looked and acted like Cartman.
We had another kid make a kill list and he was gone for sooooo long after. He was a total tryhard fag with trenchcoats and shit. Ironically, he and the fuck list kid were friends and had gay rumors.

Two teachers were married and taught at the high school. One cheated on the other with another teacher and all the kids knew. They were regularly confronted in class by students.

Our woodshop teacher in middle school creeped on all of the girls.

I had some friends a few years younger than me. They lived in like white trash country bumpkin area just ouside the burbs. Somehow they got ahold of some guns and robbed the only fucking stores and restaurants in their town. WITHOUT MASKS.
Needless to say they were caught and did time. One for sure does meth and has kids he doesn't take care of. The other had a gauged prince albert if that says enough.
I'm not sure whether to be upset or glad my childhood wasn't as exciting as yours, tbh.
 

Broseph

Assistant Mana-Jerk @ Mal-Wart
kiwifarms.net
There was this mongoloid sperg named Derek who only attended my school for one year back in the 9th grade. He had the typical sperg look to him with his pizzaface complexion and the pube fuzz on his upper lip, combined with his anti-social behavior made him an insufferable troglodyte that no one could stand being around. He was the kind of sperg who would act like an obnoxious douchebag around you and then the next day he would claim that he only acted like that because "he forgot to take his meds". He also thought that he was a "badass" for smoking in the boys room during lunch breaks.

Since I went to a vocational school I had the misforunte of being stuck with him in machine shop class. He would constantly provoke me into hitting him because he thought "I was a pussy", and one time he dumped a fucking sheet full of greasy metal shavings down the back of my shirt as I walked past him, to which I retaliated by grabbing him and throwing him against one of the lathe machines. Before he could jump up to fight me the teacher jumped in between us and sent Derek to the office because he saw him dump that shit down my shirt.

He always claimed that he had a "really hot girlfriend" but she lived a few towns away and went to a different school so that's why nobody knew her, but he always swore up and down that "she was the hottest girl you would ever see, I swear to god". This was way back in the early 00's so long before smart phones and social media were a thing, so it was a lot easier for a kid to sustain some bullshit lie like that back then, but we always told him to show us a picture of her with him standing next to her to which he swore he would show us some pictures of her but of course he never did because she didn't fucking exist.

Another time Derek thought it would be a smart idea to smear all this black greasy oily shit all over this other kid Wiley's face, and it took Wiley a good 20 minutes to wash all that shit off his face in the sink. This made everyone in the room want to beat Derek's ass for being a stupid fag since Wiley was pretty much the only kid who was actually friendly towards him, and Derek spent the rest of the period hiding in this little room in the back of the shop like a little bitch until school was dismissed. This incident made him a pariah at my school for the rest of the year and he never came back after freshman year and no fucks were ever given.
 

Purple Pepsi

Feeling thirsty?
kiwifarms.net
Was acquaintances with one of the autistic students through junior high and high school. He had a deviantart and would always give me a "sneak peek" at whatever he was gonna post after school, mostly doodles and sketches of Pokémon characters iirc. He also would do the Naruto run to get to classes, even when going up and down stairs (he'd actually be able to clear half a flight of stairs while doing this and never hurt himself over the six years I knew him). The teachers would always yell for him to slow down, but he would just speed walk until they couldnt see him anymore and go back to running.
One day in our junior year, he waved me over in the hallway and held up a second backpack I'd never seen him bring before. Since he was bullied sometimes and I was one of his only friends, I was more than a little concerned when he said he "wanted to show me something secret". Instead of a school shooter kit though, the only thing inside the bag was a ton of old Nokia phones. I have no idea where he got them or why he had them, but he was really proud of his collection.
 

Quoookie

kiwifarms.net
once with a few friends and a teacher on school grounds saw this scrawny ass nigga spoiling for a fist fight with this fat asses bastard..fatty wasn't having any of it but scrawn was just pushing and pushing with nasty words and literally pushing him. nigga was so excited and all of sudden fat ass grabs something from his pocket and swings with it into the skinny punks back...stabbed with a fucking pencil of all things got lodged in there and barely missed his heart. so fucked up skinny was literally crying and fighting for his life right in front of us. skinny was in hospital like 3 weeks and what happens to fatty? they expell him and the parents to skinny never press charges. still no one explained how why...but always has stayed with me...it was like the life was coming out this skinny kids eyes and he was staring at us all...fading away. Wow. Thankfully he lived.

Thats probably worst I can remember. Only other fucked up and bad one was when one of my closest friends at the time was raped on the stage where niggas would act, principal would say important shit. From what I remember it was all locked away but this nasty mofo and my friends...going by her story it lasted hours and that she would die. Bastard tired to kill himself after but got busted and did whatever time he did it was really a slap on the wrist. She was fucked up then and stayed that way til she killed herself almost 10 years later.

A horrible as those are and unforgettable I rarely had any memorable experiences directly involving me. I wasn't a loner nor popular. Some knew me well, some didn't. I kinda just did all I was supposed to do and hang our with friends after school usually at parties. I guess when I got in high school it become more of a blur as I was drunk more often than not lol but nothing sticks out. It was the shit always after school when the real fun happened.
 

ConsoleWarVet

Sorry about my headmate, officer.
kiwifarms.net
My junior year of highschool this guy I knew (was friends with i guess we hung out a few times but didn't talk regularly) said in passing "I don't want to come to school tomorrow, I think I'm gonna call in a bomb threat."

Thought he was joking but the next day about 15 minutes into first period someone announced over the intercom to evacuate across the street. Payphones were being phased out of the city at this time but there were still a few, he called it in from one downtown but was caught on camera by a business nearby and was scooped up the next day.

A couple years after that his brother got in trouble for breaking into a church near the school and throwing paint thinner all over some of the walls I guess intending to burn it down, but he said he wasn't going to.

Family of geniuses those two.
 

FrofoBaggis

I knew Graeme before it was cool, so I did.
kiwifarms.net
We had this maths and business teacher who was just incapable of controlling a class. He had so little respect that we'd just call him by his first name as opposed to Mr. *insert surname* or sir. He used to physically throw us out of class (we were 13-14 at the time) saying "get out" in a funny voice and the kid who got thrown out (sometimes me) would just stare in the glass at the door making faces basically distracting the class even more.

Once we got bigger (around ages 15-16) and the manlet was incapable of throwing us out anymore, people would flat out be calling him a fat wanker to his face with their phones out in class and he wouldn't do anything. Someone even put a big piece of chewing gum on his seat and he sat on it ruining his suit trousers. When we heard his wife was Romanian, some kids used to jokingly ask him is it a mail order bride cause he's so ugly.

Once I turned about 16, I kinda felt bad for him and stopped being a wee shit but others still took advantage of him. Eventually he got fired in my final year when I no longer had him for any classes for "stabbing a kids hand with a pen". Basically he banged the pointy end of a pen on a table in frustration and some kids hand got in the way. Looking back, I always wondered why he never got the principal to talk to the class or sent people to the principal like other weak willed teachers would eventually resort to doing. The principal was a scary fucker too, so it probably would have put manners on us. I guess it was just a pride thing for him, to not go crying to the principal.

My school had plenty of other odd, interesting and fucked in the head teachers (Irish Catholic schools in a nutshell) but i'll leave those for future stories.
 
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Billy Rocker

Teaching 13 year olds about incognito mode
kiwifarms.net
I remember when i was in like first grade i once got into a friendly fight with some other kid, however i took it up one notch out of nowhere by sweeping his leg (something i had learned from cartoons and Mortal Kombat iirc) and making him fall over. He knocked his head and obviously started crying loud, but i ran away to not get in trouble.

At age 14 i also remember sitting with this tall, silent, delinquent-looking kid who looks like he failed 9th grade two times. He also had hentai and ISIS execution videos on his phone. I was a little pussy afraid of sitting with him at first but not too long after i felt he was the most chill guy to sit with and just shoot the shit, and helped me learn to not take banter from other kids so damn seriously. I guess it's mostly because i too felt pretty "ahead of my age" back then due to discovering imageboards and other internet shit, and because asides from being edgy, delinquent-looking types don't mask or act like social peacocks so much as anyone else. Even the "nerds" in my school were more like super extroverted "im such a geek with good grades!!1! Xd XDxd" who hardly knew anything about computers or non-toonami anime.
 
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