Share Your School Stories - Weirdos, freaks, and idiots (self-inclusion optional)

DelicateMageflower

It's Algonquin for bloodsport.
kiwifarms.net
My high school years were mostly uneventful save for a few notable occasions:

The two girls who got into a fistfight in the hallway, managed to pull each others tops off, and continued fighting shirtless as all the boys stood around and cheered.

The kid who decided to drop acid during class and flipped out. Took multiple teachers and eventually the cops to restrain him.

The teachers aide/lunchroom monitor who was given the unfortunate nickname of Boo Boo, after Yogi Bear's sidekick. He was so pissy about it that anyone who said the name in his vicinity was immediately sent to the Dean's office, the referral slip reading, "Called me Boo Boo."

Finally, in my junior year a classmate decided to have a few friends over when her parents went out of town. Truly, she'd asked over maybe three or four people. Unfortunately for her, word got around and the end result was like Jake Ryan's party in "Sixteen Candles."
Living room furniture trashed, holes in walls and doors, someone rode an ATV all over the front lawn and tore it up, her parents bed was thoroughly fucked in with plenty fluid evidence left behind. There was more, but its been a long time and I cant remember it all. I do know it took her almost to the ten year reunion to pay her folks back.
 

Don Juan El Tardo

What a long strange trip it's been
kiwifarms.net
When I was in highschool I was the connection for anything and everything. Booze, tobacco, various drugs, even legal stuff too. (Side note: I sold quite a few porno magazines and dvd's. This was also the early 2010's. Internet porn was very much a thing. Dunno why people would want them when they can get all they want for free, but hey I was making money so I didn't look too much into it.) On occasion I would even set up some card games too. Those actually had a couple teachers in on it so that kept me out of trouble (as gambling was against school rules and state law) But I digress.

My reputation as a scrounger had all kinds of schoolmates coming to me for not only for booze or weed, but often for strange things such as cheerleaders and orchestra kids buying sex toys from me. But the strangest request led to a major incident in the school. The weird kid who fancied himself a prankster came to me, and requested a couple of live squirrels, and if I could keep schtum about it. He offered me $500 for the job. Now, that is what I could clear in a week from selling homemade booze and ganja. And he offered that for a single request. I asked him what the hell he wanted with two live squirrels, and why he was offering so much. He refused to say anything more other than it was going to be the biggest and funniest prank in (Redacted) High School history. He even showed that he had the cash to pay me for it. Honestly I couldn't see any harm coming of it, and if he hurt anyone or the squirrels I knew I could drop a dime on him so he wouldn't get away with it. Plus a week's pay in a day. So I took him up on his offer.

Catching squirrels is hard work. I was only able to nab him one. Before school started, I sent him a message telling him to meet me in the back of the parking lot, were we wouldn't be seen. He seemed disappointed that I only had the one, but he paid me in full. He still wouldn't tell me what it was for, and he got it stowed in his backpack. We went our separate ways.

Three class periods later, I was in the auto shop. I was re-building a carburetor for a project. All of a sudden I hear all hell breaking loose above me. Almost directly above the auto shop is the commons, where lunch was held. Over the intercom I heard the (rather panicked) principal announce a lockdown. So I'm sitting there with the rest of the class hiding in the shop, speculating what the hell happened. After an hour and a half the principal announced the lockdown was over and all students are to go to their 5th period classes for roll call. After attendance was taken, we were then lead to the auditorium for an assembly.

Apparently this dude released that squirrel near a table with the cheerleaders during the biggest and busiest lunch period. The cheerleaders screamed and ran from their table. This incited panic in the entire area, people thinking there was a school shooter or something. People fled from the commons in a stampede and the panic spread to other nearby classrooms. Miraculously, the squirrel wasn't trampled to death. It ran into the kitchen where it was then caught by the janitor. And the best part?

THE SCHOOL HAD NO IDEA WHO DID IT. They spent the entire assembly trying to shame whoever did it into giving themselves up, but both me and that dude kept silent. I had a poker face, but he was having a hard time keeping even a straight face. That wasn't unusual, as once the students knew what was up everyone was laughing hard. He never admitted to doing it until after he collected his diploma.
 

Broseph

Assistant Mana-Jerk @ Mal-Wart
kiwifarms.net
A guy at work told me a funny incident that happened when he was in junior high. One morning during a thunderstorm the entire school was placed inside the auditorium until school started, and right when everyone was seated these two black chicks chimped out and charged at each other from opposite ends of the room and start ripping each other's hair/extensions out. He said that after the principal broke up the fight there were so many clumps of hair on the floor that it could've been used to make a wig.
 
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Never Scored

kiwifarms.net
The two girls who got into a fistfight in the hallway, managed to pull each others tops off, and continued fighting shirtless as all the boys stood around and cheered.
When I was in grade nine a girl from the ninth grade and tenth grade got in a fist fight out in the student smoking area. The ninth grader got the shit beat out of her so bad she had to have her jaw wired shut. Our gym teacher who was a huge shitlord used to clinch his teeth togther and talk through them to make fun of her.

Fuck can you imagine there being a student smoking area today?
 

Broseph

Assistant Mana-Jerk @ Mal-Wart
kiwifarms.net
Back in high school I hung out with some real /b/tards. We were weird as fuck, but most people put up with it. That being said, we were pretty racist, sexist, and obsessed with hentai.

There was this really cute Taiwanese exchange student in one of my classes. Short, thin, very pretty and had the typicall Asian girl haircut. We sat next to each other every day in English. I actually kinda started to like her after a while. She had this Bronyfag host brother in the grade below us and we all hated the fuck out of him for spamming his shitty webcomics and amateur r34 on Facebook (this guy might deserve a thread actually). Anyway, one day I made a joke about him to her and she started railing into him talking about the creepy shit he does at home and how his own family hated him. From then I felt love.

I confessed to my /b/tard friends that I had a crush on the Taiwanese girl. This was a horrible mistake.

A day later, I was in study hall, reading a book or something probably, when she approached me. She thanked me the letter I sent her and said if I wanted to be her boyfriend I just needed to ask. I went red as fuck (I also had a gf from another school).

"What letter...?"

She gave me a folded up little note and said "you didn't write this?"

I took it and I read it.

My friend had written it and slid into her locker. It was the most racist thing I've ever seen in my life. It was a letter, supposedly written by me, in horrible shitty broken English. It talked about how I'd like to take her on a date to eat dogs and cats, alluded to tentacle rape, and at one point asked "is Godzilla real?". At the bottom there was a picture of us holding hands, and of course she had super squinted eyes and buck teeth.

Why she didn't take this to the office I don't know. But I was appalled. I told her no, that I didn't write the note, and she politely accepted. Looking back, she was way better than my old GF. Now she's married to this super rich Ukrainian guy.
Your dumbass friend wrote that horribly offensive letter to her and yet she still wanted to be your girlfriend?
 

aricebowl

Just a bowl of rice
kiwifarms.net
My secondary school had a full on fight club. It was codenamed “Cheese” and people would go around classes telling us that two kids were “Cheesing” up on the field. It got to the point where fights were being hyped up and booked and almost half the school year went and watched. A couple of weeks in the teachers must of either found out or a kid snitched because the head of year got spotted by one of the lookouts and we all had to run before they could catch us.

Other gems include the time a kid drunk universal indicator and had to vomit it all out again or the various incidents on the buses which included one near stabbing and one impailing on a doorknob.
 

CWCissey

Charming Man
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Some Year 9s broke into the science cupboard and stole all the potassium and magnesium.

The potassium went into the town's river, that much everyone knew, (rumours state the ensuing reaction set a couple of ducks on fire). The teachers didn't know where the magnesium went.

Until someone set fire to it in the boys loos and ended up gutting the ground floor of the English block.
 

FuckedUp

kiwifarms.net
Another story from eighth grade:

About a month after Deemo came out, I was showing it to a couple friends while waiting in the hallway for the history teacher to arrive. I was just going to boot up Saika in hard mode as a quick demo, but I kept hitting every note. I ended up getting a perfect on the song with a third of the class watching, while playing in the least optimal way possible.
 

werbwub

kiwifarms.net
Back in 9th grade, I had this teacher that was bullied every day. people would go to his desk while he was out of the room and steal the projector remote so that he couldn't teach the lesson, eventually he wisened up and learned what group was doing it so in return that group of kids would play hot potato with remote so that the teacher couldn't get the remote. On the final week of school, I brought those fireworks that you throw at the ground to pop them and started to distribute them amongst the kids in order to fuck with him. I know a couple of kids got direct hits against his head. The kids managed to avoid getting in trouble by claiming that the principal and the teacher were racist and they would spread the message around.
 

FuckedUp

kiwifarms.net
Back in 9th grade, I had this teacher that was bullied every day. people would go to his desk while he was out of the room and steal the projector remote so that he couldn't teach the lesson, eventually he wisened up and learned what group was doing it so in return that group of kids would play hot potato with remote so that the teacher couldn't get the remote. On the final week of school, I brought those fireworks that you throw at the ground to pop them and started to distribute them amongst the kids in order to fuck with him. I know a couple of kids got direct hits against his head. The kids managed to avoid getting in trouble by claiming that the principal and the teacher were racist and they would spread the message around.
Was this an inner-city school?
 

Coffee Druid

Your friendly caffeinated chevalier
kiwifarms.net
In 5th grade me and some friends discovered Freewebs. We mainly used it to make a Warriors fan site (that old book series about cats). We discovered that an unknown classmate had also made a freewebs site, solely to talk shit about teachers and students. It was probably tame since we were like 10 but at the time I remembered it being pretty spicy. They may have actually called one teacher a whore. We didn’t know who made it but we posted on it telling them to stop and that they’re being lame, yo. Someone else apparently found out about the site and told the teachers and we got called to the principle’s office along with the culprit and got in trouble, because apparently we were still involved even if we didn’t make the site. Then our whole grade had to listen to lectures on cyber bullying.
 

SojuDrnkr

Stays after last call.
kiwifarms.net
In 5th grade me and some friends discovered Freewebs. We mainly used it to make a Warriors fan site (that old book series about cats). We discovered that an unknown classmate had also made a freewebs site, solely to talk shit about teachers and students. It was probably tame since we were like 10 but at the time I remembered it being pretty spicy. They may have actually called one teacher a whore. We didn’t know who made it but we posted on it telling them to stop and that they’re being lame, yo. Someone else apparently found out about the site and told the teachers and we got called to the principle’s office along with the culprit and got in trouble, because apparently we were still involved even if we didn’t make the site. Then our whole grade had to listen to lectures on cyber bullying.
So the lesson the principal taught you was to tattle NOT on your classmate for defaming teachers and students, or for knowing that the site existed and didn't use your siqq hAck3R skillz?
 

The Last Stand

I need more gin.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I went to an high crime rate high school for 9th and 10th grade. Fights randomly breaking out, suspensions given like candy. It wouldn't be unusual to walk out of one period to another in the middle of a fight.

One day, after dismissal, somebody pulled the fire alarm. Naturally, the fire department responded to the false alarm. The problem was gridlock: buses were taking students home, parents would pick up their kids, groups of students with their friends. The firefighters couldn't get through. All of this was in the street; the school didn't have its own occupied land.
 

The Last Stand

I need more gin.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
During the rise of the #MeToo thing, I got a one-day ISS (in-school suspension) for making a sex joke to a particularly unattractive girl and then lampshading it by saying "Oh, isn't that on every man's bucket list? Sexual harassment. I'm like Harvey Weinstein now. I have achieved my bucket list."
Shit, I got in serious trouble for "touching a girl's butt." Never mind that the school bus was crowded and packed to the brim. And I was nowhere NEAR her.
 

Faket0Fake

Handsome Prince
kiwifarms.net
There was this kid Mikey who was kinda autistic and a compulsive liar. Would always make up stuff about how his family are mafia or that he knows some famous celebrity, very obvious and dumb lies. The best thing about him was that he would do absolutely anything if you dared him to do it, people used him as their personal amusement and would get him eating gross stuff or doing stupid dares that got him in trouble but he liked the attention anyway. It was all fun and games until somebody in Biology said "Hey Mikey, I bet you can't eat these three pencils" and he gobbled them down.

He ended up in hospital with a bunch of it stuck in his throat. People stopped daring him to do stuff after that.

Making spergy people do dumb stuff was kind of a hobby for the people I hung out with. We had a computer lab class and after us they had a special class that would come in from another school to do stuff on computers. One of the favored pranks was to set the homepage to porn so when people open the internet browser some porn pops up, the teacher of this class was a young guy who probably just graduated from being a student teacher and he was on to these kind of pranks but I guess he didn't check this one day before the class came in. We were hanging out around the computer lab as they all came in, there was a small window in the door so you could see in and enjoy the results.

So they start the class, teacher tells them all to access the internet and then hardcore porn pops up. The teacher looked horrified as all of a sudden several spergy kids got overstimulated by seeing hardcore porn and began bouncing around imitating it in their seats,screaming and one of them was so excited he was running circles around the computer lab. We are dying at the window and the teacher spots us giving the filthiest look. I'll never forget his "I hate you" face as he's surrounded by chaos.

Away from taking advantage of disabled people, I remember the first time I interacted with a black kid. When I was young, I lived and went to school in an area where it was mostly white and Asian kids so it wasn't until my family moved that I went to school that actually had black and Hispanic kids. I was eating lunch and one of my friends was showing me this game he was playing, we had cheeseburgers that day (before they decided school meals should be more healthy) and I'd left mine on the plate as I was distracted by this game my friend was showing me. I turn my attention back to my plate to find the cheeseburger is now gone and sitting next to me now is a black kid eating it.

I turn and look at him like "Wtf? Did you eat my cheeseburger? Why did you eat it?" and his reply was a deadpan "Ah wuz huuuungry". I couldn't find a way to reply to that.
 

Martys_not_smarty

You don't know what hard times are daddy.
kiwifarms.net
I got a couple:
A classmate who I knew sort of we'd hang out play football and whatnot lets just call him Lenny well Lenny got it in his head to steal a shitton of condoms from a nearby gas station and drug store and proceed to strewn them about the school one night talking door handles, windows you name it and the school faculty had to find a way to explain to the kids what they were and what to do if they saw them without actually saying what they were. Also that school the following year would have it's soccer field torn up by some drunk guy driving his motorcycle around it only to promptly leave it halfway wrapped around a tree, he was found at a nearby park passed out.
My brother got a suspension from school for making a joke about the Challenger explosion after a kids model rocket blew up from a bad engine evidently the teacher overseeing the event was big into space and shit.
Junior high was more quality than quantity despite being a ghetto shithole, biggest thing to happen there was the older brother of one of my neighbors was killed in the parking lot by a rival gang member during a football game.
 

Martys_not_smarty

You don't know what hard times are daddy.
kiwifarms.net
Ok round 2:
-Grade school there was this middle eastern girl in a different class same grade who got caught stealing and her father shaved her head as a punishment.
-Had a high school gym teacher who was probably the only person who didn't straight up say "drugs are bad mmkay" he actually gave his classes a fairly in depth discussion about steroids and other performance enhancing drugs and the hypocrisy behind it's legality as well as reasons someone could take and use them with proper medical supervision. The guy was a powerlifter back in the 70's-80's and knew guys who abused the fuck out of the juice and how easy it was to get it back then.
 
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