Share Your School Stories - Weirdos, freaks, and idiots (self-inclusion optional)

obliviousbeard

As white as schoolshooter
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
In Highschool, there was this super weird kid who was in my PE class who would always talk about other boy's dick and balls. How big they were, what they looked like, ect. I once overheard him talking to his friend in the changing room, and he said something along the lines of "This kid has super huge balls the size of this head, but his dick is as small as a tictac!". Just chatting to his friend like they were having a totally normal conversation

This kid would always go up to people and say something about their dick, or their balls, or both. He even came up to me out of nowhere once, and said "You have a very huge penis!". I just stood there, fucking bewildered at what just happened

He wasn't autistic or anything, and I don't think he was gay. He was just really fucking weird
Me too. People just treated him like he was completely normal, even when he was talking about other kid's dick and balls all the time. Weird as fuck
Did he hang around with this person?
 

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FrofoBaggis

I knew Graeme before it was cool, so I did.
kiwifarms.net
We had this special kid in school who loved and I mean loved Dragonball Z. He used to turn into a super saiyan with some kids egging him on. Literal autistic screeching. The absolute madlad even said "this isn't even my final form" at one point and flat out reeeeee'd in the middle of the hallway while both kids and teachers stopped to watch him. Someone took a video of it. I had it on my old Nokia and will try to see if I still have it so I can post it.
 
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Kiwi Lime Pie

The tasteful summer treat. 🥝🥧🐈
kiwifarms.net
The two girls who got into a fistfight in the hallway, managed to pull each others tops off, and continued fighting shirtless as all the boys stood around and cheered.
I can't recall if I posted it in one of my HS year posts, but two girls got into a fight during a PE baseball game. As I'm catching the ball to make the third out at first base, I turn and see the commotion over at third base. Both girls tried unsuccessfully to pull each others' tops off, so they instead locked onto each other's hair. A senior who didn't have a class that period saw what was going on and broke it up before the PE teacher could see where she was observing the second baseball game over near the football field. The senior stayed to oversee our game until it was time to go back inside.

Fuck can you imagine there being a student smoking area today?
My high school turned a blind eye to smoking so long as it was done in what was nicknamed the "burnout section" -- an open concrete area between the kitchen and the home economics wing. The only drawback was this was the same space athletic teams would have to walk through to get to their buses after school. For teams with 4:00 or 4:30 PM start times at another school, there was still enough smoke lingering outside when they'd catch their bus that the air was noticeably thick and smoky for anyone taking a breath on the way to the bus.

It wasn't until my state increased the penalties for underage tobacco use (and I think they may have designated schools as tobacco-free zones) that the burnout section finally became a thing of the past. Prior to that, there was also a designated section for chewing tobacco until the land was used to build a competition-sized swimming pool with seating and lockers.

There's no way this would happen in $CURRENT_YEAR with today's attitudes and how parents behave.
 

Count groudon

Concentration camp counselor
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
So back in third grade I let my friend borrow my copy of Legend of Zelda Oracle of seasons because he really wanted to play it before he bought it. So I give the game to him one day and I very sternly told him not to save over my file because I was at the last dungeon and to bring it back by the end of the week. Well the end of the week came and when I went to ask for it back he claimed he’d lost it somewhere. Now if anybody has ever played OOS, they’d know that I was pretty pissed because that game was the hypest shit, but eventually I got over it and continued on as normal. So a couple months go by and I’m over playing at his house one day when his mom called us into the kitchen and she showed me my game. Turns out the fucker took it and stuffed it under his mattress so he wouldn’t have to give it back. His mom utterly tore him a new asshole, made him apologize profusely while he was crying spastically, and I went home early that day happy I was able to continue my virtual adventure while my friend got his ass beat (He actually didn’t save over my file so I was so happy about that I didn’t really give a shit about anything else).

Bitch did the same thing with my smash bros Melee disc too, and the whole situation played out in an almost exact replay of the first time. He is still my friend to this day.

Oracle of Seasons was a fun game.
 

Inquisitor_BadAss

Karen poster extraordinaire
kiwifarms.net
So back in third grade I let my friend borrow my copy of Legend of Zelda Oracle of seasons because he really wanted to play it before he bought it. So I give the game to him one day and I very sternly told him not to save over my file because I was at the last dungeon and to bring it back by the end of the week. Well the end of the week came and when I went to ask for it back he claimed he’d lost it somewhere. Now if anybody has ever played OOS, they’d know that I was pretty pissed because that game was the hypest shit, but eventually I got over it and continued on as normal. So a couple months go by and I’m over playing at his house one day when his mom called us into the kitchen and she showed me my game. Turns out the fucker took it and stuffed it under his mattress so he wouldn’t have to give it back. His mom utterly tore him a new asshole, made him apologize profusely while he was crying spastically, and I went home early that day happy I was able to continue my virtual adventure while my friend got his ass beat (He actually didn’t save over my file so I was so happy about that I didn’t really give a shit about anything else).

Bitch did the same thing with my smash bros Melee disc too, and the whole situation played out in an almost exact replay of the first time. He is still my friend to this day.

Oracle of Seasons was a fun game.
Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice . . .
 

yoshitsune

Late Heian period cowboy
kiwifarms.net
A guy in my class in secondary school had the most annoying verbal tic I've ever had to experience and it's very specific to him. While speaking, he would end every sentence that was at least about 8 words long by repeating the last three words. He would always do it, without fail, even when taking an oral exam. I thought he had Tourette's or something but then I found out that apparently the only disability he has is dyslexia.

My primary school English teacher barely even knew English. I vividly remember having a text about Ernest Hemingway in the work book and the text mentioned how Ernest Hemingway died by blowing his head off with a shotgun. Some heavy shit for a bunch of 7th graders, but I guess they thought us Slavshits can handle it. When we were reading the text, she kept insisting that he killed himself with a shogun and that "shotgun" was a typo. She didn't know that shotgun was the English word for сачмарица, or sačmarica if you want it in Latin text which is what we call it. Furthermore, she thought that shogun were ninja stars. We had to spend 5 minutes explaining to her that a shogun was the feudal Japanese ruler and that shotgun is the English word for сачмарица. How someone can blow their head off with a shuriken is another matter that boggles the mind.
 

FuckedUp

kiwifarms.net
It wasn't until my state increased the penalties for underage tobacco use (and I think they may have designated schools as tobacco-free zones) that the burnout section finally became a thing of the past.
Weird, it's technically not even illegal to smoke underage here, just for people to sell them to minors.
 

yoshitsune

Late Heian period cowboy
kiwifarms.net
Oh god, it's an all-encompasing slav country problem, isn't it?

My teacher in high school insisted that "ware" in software was actually "wire", and told me off for trying to explain it to her.
That seems to only be the case with the older teachers, like what was the case with the shogun shotgun in my story. In secondary school both of my English teachers spoke fluent English, which is what you'd expect from English teachers.
Another thing that my primary school English teacher did was that she used Received Pronunciation which is the standard British English pronunciation while using American English spelling and vocabulary, like for example saying chips instead of crisps, highway instead of motorway, spelling colour as color etc. She also insisted we use Received Pronunciation while you're actually allowed to use either British English or American English in school, but you have to be consistent with it, something she herself WAS NOT DOING!
 

yoshitsune

Late Heian period cowboy
kiwifarms.net
Nah RP is far from standard. It's known as The Queen's English for a reason.
It's standard in the sense that it's taught in schools as the standard in most of Yurop, whether it's the most common in common speech in the UK or not is not relevant. Like most other standard dialects and accents for various languages it's mostly used in formal settings and if someone uses it in common vernacular it means that they're either high class or are pretending to be and is thus rarely the most common one.
 

FuckedUp

kiwifarms.net
Really should stop powerleveling, but recent posts made me remember this incident in middle school.

So I was taking this film elective where we just watched movies, and one of the films we watched was about this learning-disabled-but-strong kid who befriends a kid who's a genius but has serious physical disabilities. In the end the learning-disabled kid gets better at reading and shit, while the smart one succumbs to his disabilites and fucking dies at like 12.

The teacher asked who we'd rather be, and I said definitely the learning-disabled one because I didn't want to die around my then-current age. They got irritated and scolded me for making that choice.

Still think I was completely right.
 

Broseph

Assistant Mana-Jerk @ Mal-Wart
kiwifarms.net
Really should stop powerleveling, but recent posts made me remember this incident in middle school.

So I was taking this film elective where we just watched movies, and one of the films we watched was about this learning-disabled-but-strong kid who befriends a kid who's a genius but has serious physical disabilities. In the end the learning-disabled kid gets better at reading and shit, while the smart one succumbs to his disabilites and fucking dies at like 12.

The teacher asked who we'd rather be, and I said definitely the learning-disabled one because I didn't want to die around my then-current age. They got irritated and scolded me for making that choice.

Still think I was completely right.
Was this by any chance a movie called "Freak the Mighty"?
 
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