Share Your School Stories - Weirdos, freaks, and idiots (self-inclusion optional)

Meat Target

I'm what you call a professional
Sounds like you and I went to middle school around the same time, some of that really hit home hahaha and yeah we had a step team as well but only black girls could join.

My middle school had regular talent shows but I was in a program that focused on performance and stuff so there were more people who participated. The girls singing N*SYNC to a CD was a real deja vu moment lol. One of the dance groups that peformed did a full dance routine to "Rumpshaker" (I have the tape of their performance that I would love to convert and upload) and you could tell they didn't practice much and only one girl knew the entire routine. Her name was Kelli. Kelli was the dancer in the middle of the five girls. At one point she stepped in front of the other girls and started shaking her boobs (reminder this was middles school and she was 13) and right before the end of the song their other girls just stopped dancing altogether because they forgot what to do. Kelli turned around and got into sort of an open-leg push-up position and twerked and all the middle school boys went crazy, yelling and whistling and smacking the lunchroom tables. I've never seen anything like it before or since. Because they wanted to sell tapes of the performance after the fact for fundraising the very end of the performance was cut off but the rest of it is definitely there
In elementary school, two geeky guys (one of whom I struck up a friendship with in college) tried to do karate for a talent show.

The other geek kid had to keep kicking a board, and it wouldn't break. Must have been embarrassing for him.

I always dreaded talent show day. Like your guys's, it was being forced to watch sheer cringe.
 
Oh god I have so many stupid moments to talk about.
- A kid got sent to the principal's office and so on the way he tried to slam the door. He kinda screwed it up and the slam wasn't that loud so he walks back into class and then re-slams the door. I remember finding it really funny because he looked so happy with himself.
- I got sent to the principals for bullying because I told a kid to go away. He kept looking over my shoulder at the book I was reading and I told him to stop. The principal told me to try and be friends with him but I never even spoke to him again.
- This ones the best one honestly, a personal lolcow. "He" was in my Multicultural Studies class and sat behind me for a few weeks. One day they asked if I would join the LGBT club because I made a passing comment about being a fag. I said yes because honestly I felt bad, mistakes were made. Not a single biological male was in that club, even though that school had lots of gay dudes. All lesbians, asexuals, or nonbinarys so I stood out. At these clubs you have to introduce with your sexuality and pronouns. I forget her sexulaity but I do remember her pronouns. He/him and Fae/Faer. I never went back to the club. They would also rudely correct my teacher with the "right" pronouns, even though she didn't even try to pass. I moved to the back of the class to avoid her because would always try to talk to me during class. Our class took a field trip to China Town and they insisted in bringing a walking cane, they used it all day. I wasn't there to see it but they yelled at an assembly by calling the speaker homophobic. Why? Because they made a joke about Chick-fil-A. They were a senior so I only got to witness their stupidity for one year, I was a sophomore. I wish I got to see more honestly...

Edit: Forgot to mention that their new name sounded like a chicks name even though they said they were a dude, that it all
 
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Chan Fan

Eff around and find out
When I was in college I was part of a small theater group. It was lame, not a good experience. The most interesting things that happened were the fact that the theater was haunted and the fact that one of the girls there had a legit stalker. I'll be talking about the latter of the two.

One of the girls who had been with the group for a long time started dating one of the guys and right after that she began getting letters in the mail. It was a lot of "I see you, I know what you're doing" type stuff and she was very scared. One of the letters for a little too detailed about something that happened and the girl figured out who it was - another guy in the theater group who was jealous that she was dating someone else. Apparently the guy never approached her in the first place to ask her out, just started writing her creepy letters. She was pretty sure it was the guy but wasn't 100% sure so at the next theater practice a meeting was called and her boyfriend stayed vague and said they were pretty sure they knew who the stalker was. He also said that if they got one more letter they were going to the police. Alleged stalker made up some reason that he had to leave practice early (despite the fact that he would usually stay and work on sets for hours, sometimes alone) and the letters stopped
 

Vizieti

Pick me! Choose me!
The more important question is why are they around so many tards in school?
Small town, only 800 people in the entire school (faculty included) they had no choice but to put them with us, school was also probably money laundering so they were too poor to send them off to some special school.
 

PimpKramer

Poley the Polar Bear #1 fan
back in middle school, the delinquents would sometime burn the trash can around school so the fire alarm would go off. everyone was forced out and had to wait until the fire was under control. it always happened every 2 months or so and it was always on rainy or snowy days and most were forced to wait around without jackets.

In high school this emo girl would constantly pull the fire alarms, sending the entire school to the football field for evacuation and the further 15 minute processes involved. Worse yet is the alarms triggered some type of line to the local fire station which sent over a truck every time and I remember feeling bad for them because one time the driver had a look of "this shit again...". By mid year the school racked up something like 10 grand of fees to the fire station. Was ok for me though cause that was 20 minutes of no class.


Back in the equivalent of late elementary school every fortnight on Fridays the final year classes had a program called "Jigsaw" where one of the higher ups would come in the final hour block and use it to discuss issues, feelings, gossip and all that bullshit but about a third of the time they were straight up struggle sessions. Since my class had the bad tempered, power tripping vice principal those were always a treat. This one time the issue was about this annoying autistic manlet, his anger issues and why he brought a slingshot to school. As the vp introduced the topic this kid was stunned and just took it silently until it was time for the class' input where most played up how his aggression towards them made them feel scared and I stirred the pot a bit more by noting that slingshots are illegal and that he "could be in really big trouble". Over that time his face was getting progressively redder, bawling and he started hissing at people.

As he was choking back tears he was apologizing, saying he went to the school's anger management and started listing names of other kids who attended with him which prompted the vp to tell him to shut up. I didn't feel bad since he was the biggest teacher's pet dicksucker during these programs, chiming in with dumb agreements as well as getting others in trouble over something he started in other classes because the teachers didn't want to properly wrangle him.

In retrospect these sessions were actually unnecessarily cruel and the staff were retarded for thinking they were a good idea.
 
I attended an hilariously violent comprehensive school in the UK.

We were once taught how to use the lathes in metalwork class and immediately put this newfound practical skill to use by manufacturing throwing stars.

One of the walls to the building that housed the swimming pool was wooden, and was deemed a suitable venue for target practice. We lined up in front of it after school, the blood of our ancient ninja ancestry stirring in our young veins. Our makeshift shurikens made a pleasing sound as their points embedded themselves in the wood.

There was a boy called Timothy, who was later suspended for taking a shit in one of the lockers, in the portacabin where our form was based. I will never forget the horrifying moment when he bent down to pick a throwing star off the ground, and another throwing star slammed into the wall where his head had been a fraction of a second before.
 

Kari Kamiya

"I beat her up, so I gave her a cuck-cup."
True & Honest Fan
In elementary school, two geeky guys (one of whom I struck up a friendship with in college) tried to do karate for a talent show.

The other geek kid had to keep kicking a board, and it wouldn't break. Must have been embarrassing for him.

Lol a little brother of mine wanted to juggle (potatoes) to the tune of "Pokémon (Dance Mix)" (when we had the cassette tape) in elementary school. I think he actually did the audition, but obviously never made it in. I have no idea what he was thinking.

Also am holding you to your word @Chan Fan of converting the "Rumpshaker" vid someday.
 

Chan Fan

Eff around and find out
Lol a little brother of mine wanted to juggle (potatoes) to the tune of "Pokémon (Dance Mix)" (when we had the cassette tape) in elementary school. I think he actually did the audition, but obviously never made it in. I have no idea what he was thinking.

Also am holding you to your word @Chan Fan of converting the "Rumpshaker" vid someday.

I will! No one expressed interest so I'll be doing it just for you :)
 

Monika H.

Digging 'cause all good boys are dead
True & Honest Fan
Our Economy teacher would go out for hours to go and have a coffee at the nearby bar, or even go to the cafeteria to eat something.
We had like 4 hours of Economy non-stop some days so no one stopped him when he wanted to go on break.
 
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hyperfujis

rogue leftist :(
I attended an hilariously violent comprehensive school in the UK.

We were once taught how to use the lathes in metalwork class and immediately put this newfound practical skill to use by manufacturing throwing stars.

One of the walls to the building that housed the swimming pool was wooden, and was deemed a suitable venue for target practice. We lined up in front of it after school, the blood of our ancient ninja ancestry stirring in our young veins. Our makeshift shurikens made a pleasing sound as their points embedded themselves in the wood.

There was a boy called Timothy, who was later suspended for taking a shit in one of the lockers, in the portacabin where our form was based. I will never forget the horrifying moment when he bent down to pick a throwing star off the ground, and another throwing star slammed into the wall where his head had been a fraction of a second before.

That sounds like something that could have easily ended up like this:
1600121481045.png
 
It was the year 1999, high school. I had a classmate who was a VCR recording hobbyist, and occasionally I asked him for some stuff to record from TV channels on a VHS. I once asked him to record several Sonic Underground episodes on a tape, because then my 12 year old brother was a huge Sonic fan and wanted to collect some tapes with the cartoon. He agreed to do so, but it turned out I chose the completely wrong time for such a request. My classmate was also asked by his friend to record some porn flick from a *don't-recall-its-name* TV channel, because he eventually got a date with some girl tonight and wanted to score with her. Because of that, my classmate had to give away two VHS copies on the same day. The funniest thing about this case is what I had no idea about all this at all, until that goddamned day: once I received my copy and came back from school, I was going to watch the tape just to check out if everything is alright. Once I put the tape into the video player and played the tape, I got a footage of a lady sucking some dude's dick, and I outrageously screamed at the TV with the "WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT??!!!" line. My brother has heard this and ran into my scream, and thank God I managed to turn off the video player before he walked into my room. He asked me what happened, to which I answered: "Bro, that's not Sonic". I was fucking mad at my retarded classmate and even wanted to beat the shit out of him. Fortunately for him, when I met him at school his face was literally covered with of bunch of bruises and plasters. He immediately said: "Yeah, yeah, I know I fucked up, man, I'm so sorry". I asked him what happened to his face, and he was like: "My mate has gone mad at me, because I promised him a hot porn tape he would watch with his girlfriend this night, but fuck no, it was Sonic! What a mischance, goddammit". After this, I thought he had enough and decided to not start the conflict.
 
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OvercookedBacon

Adds extra flavor
Was eating lunch with some upperclassmen friends when a loud WHACK echoes across the cafeteria. Then another. And another. Lunchgoers promptly start a chorus of OHHHHs. I turn around to see what's going on, and one of the freshmen is beating the shit out of one of my fellow sophomores WWF style with one of those plastic lunch trays that has the metal center. After about ten seconds of this the junior varsity football coach gets up, just tackles the lunch tray wielder and drags him to the principal's office.

From hearsay, the kid was tired of being called such lovely things as "cancer lips" or "cancer mouth", and decided to enact revenge.

The funniest part wasn't until that afternoon, when the principal calls the entire student body into the auditorium for assembly. She's pacing back and forth on the stage, very obviously furious. If this were a cartoon steam would be shooting out of her ears. "Today at lunch - DON'T LAUGH! - one of our students was beaten with a lunch tray ... " Auditorium collectively bursts into laughter. "IF YOU LAUGH, I'M GETTING SCHOOL SECURITY TO TAKE YOU TO THE OFFICE!!"

Had to cover my face with my backpack in my lap because fuck it, that was the funniest thing that happened all year.

(Edited to add approximate date: 2001 or so?)
 

Clovis

Kadir-Buxton Method practitioner
Small children's act of rebellion: block sink, shit in sink, fill sink with ink. Run and tell the caretaker the sink is full of ink. Childish hilarity ensues when the kindly old man reaches in, bare handed.
Actually...children are horrible. No wonder they hit us.
 

Broseph

Who's that great ape right there?
Oh god I have so many stupid moments to talk about.
- A kid got sent to the principal's office and so on the way he tried to slam the door. He kinda screwed it up and the slam wasn't that loud so he walks back into class and then re-slams the door. I remember finding it really funny because he looked so happy with himself.
- I got sent to the principals for bullying because I told a kid to go away. He kept looking over my shoulder at the book I was reading and I told him to stop. The principal told me to try and be friends with him but I never even spoke to him again.
- This ones the best one honestly, a personal lolcow. "He" was in my Multicultural Studies class and sat behind me for a few weeks. One day they asked if I would join the LGBT club because I made a passing comment about being a fag. I said yes because honestly I felt bad, mistakes were made. Not a single biological male was in that club, even though that school had lots of gay dudes. All lesbians, asexuals, or nonbinarys so I stood out. At these clubs you have to introduce with your sexuality and pronouns. I forget her sexulaity but I do remember her pronouns. He/him and Fae/Faer. I never went back to the club. They would also rudely correct my teacher with the "right" pronouns, even though she didn't even try to pass. I moved to the back of the class to avoid her because would always try to talk to me during class. Our class took a field trip to China Town and they insisted in bringing a walking cane, they used it all day. I wasn't there to see it but they yelled at an assembly by calling the speaker homophobic. Why? Because they made a joke about Chick-fil-A. They were a senior so I only got to witness their stupidity for one year, I was a sophomore. I wish I got to see more honestly...

Edit: Forgot to mention that their new name sounded like a chicks name even though they said they were a dude, that it all

Reading this makes me really glad that I was in high school way before it became "hip" for kids to troon out.
 
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Masta

Faggot
So senior year in high school, I take my best friend to prom, a girl, because I’m still closeted faggot, she agreed.
My parents gave me $150 to take her out to eat, flowers, prom pictures, and what not
Prom went well and I spent $50 on some nice pictures.

However though, after prom was a disaster..
My best friend insisted on seeing some random guys afterwards.
She ends up doing meth, making out with this guy ferociously, sucking this guys dick, all while I drive these dudes to some other house.
I’m pissed off for agreeing to this shit, afterwards, I dropped the two dudes off, and my best friend was trying to comfort me, and said, let’s go eat at ihop, because it’s like 3 AM, plus I’m total fatass at the time.
I was 17 and it’s my first-year driving, plus it’s dark outside. The gps had a go right, so I went right, and I ended up getting my mom’s car’s tire stuck in rail road tracks.
We called the police, spent the rest of my money calling a toll truck driver to get the car out.
I was super panicked that i fucked up my mom’s new car, but all the scrap damage, when it was pulled, was underneath, so you could barley tell.
I dropped my friend home, I was severely depressed at 5 AM just wishing I had an actual date.
My parents to this day still don’t know I fucked up that night.

Lesson learned though, don’t be a simp, and say no.
 
Reading this makes me really glad that I was in high school way before it became "hip" for kids to start trooning out.
Same here. When I was in high school was when lezzing out was big, or getting there. The result was either a girl "dating" another girl they referred to as their "wife", but without any kissing, hugging, or anything beyond the kind of contact you'd see in friends.

Or you'd get a girl dating a guy and another girl (who was also a "wife"), but the difference here was that the "wife" would usually also have a boyfriend, and the two girls would openly cuck their boyfriends out in public. Typically by completely ignoring their boyfriends and having the kind of make out session you'd see in Girls Gone Wild or some other lesbian porn. The guys would just watch with an expression indicating they thought they were getting a private show, and she'll definitely pay attention to him later for sure.

Between this and the mental illness pissing contests ramping up at the same time, this was probably the major forerunner to the insanity we see today, just not as extreme.
 
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