Share Your School Stories - Weirdos, freaks, and idiots (self-inclusion optional)

Puff

God of Chaos
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When I was in high school attention-seeking whores would say that they were bisexual. Me and my friends would call each other fag or faggot, and this one chick turned around and nagged, "excuse me, but I'm BISEXUAL!" So shot back at her saying, "big FUCKING deal, mind your business."
Did everyone clap?
 
There was this one weird amateur Youtuber friend that I had in middle school that was really into anthro-porn. I think I still have the original emails he sent me full of FNAF porn that he had saved in his collection. He makes books on stories that he makes up, n' he writes them very professionally and almost always includes himself fighting along with his anthro characters. Did I mention he makes art too? He made me and my friend personal Christmas cards with a handwritten note and a miniature drawing of his made up anthro sister (He is literally adopted so this is impossible) hugging the fursonas he created for us. I was a a wolf...
 

/A/non Prince

Furry twink, still no purple :(
kiwifarms.net
One time a class older than us gave our lunch table a pizza box full of rice and other food as a prank. We grabbed for what was supposed to be a pizza slice and ended up making a massive mess at our table. Only one or two people from our group cleaned that table. A year later we did the same thing to them with a "box of mcnuggets". They weren't as messy as us but we still got our revenge.
 

MysticMisty

kiwifarms.net
@Kari Kamiya

Looks like I only misremembered one detail - there were four girls, not five. Kelli is the second from the left. There is some cheering around the 30-second mark. This video is worth watching twice because the girl on the far right is so uncoordinated haha and the title card at the very end is unrelated, just there for the next section of the video.

That is way more amusing then what went down at my talentless show. I like how obviously they cut out the end, which is amazing considering they left in all those underage jiggling boobs. Amazing.
 
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Chan Fan

Not Mossad
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In high school I was friends with a few people who were part of a larger friend group who loved playing D&D. They got together every weekend and were always excited for new people to join the group. I only ended up staying friend with one of the guys and he went to a different school so we would sometimes go months without seeing each other. When I finally saw him I asked how D&D was going and he said he left the group. What transpired was the nerdiest argument I've ever heard, basically where he failed to answer a riddle and a dragon ate him and the other guys in the group got mad at him. The argument was so heated he stopped talking to them, whereas the rest of the people in the group still play together (I now have a mutual friend who knows the guys and said they still get together a few weekends a month and this has been going on for almost 20 years.)
 

FitBitch

A housewife!
kiwifarms.net
Had a talent show junior year where three different girls sang Carrie Underwood's "Jesus Take the Wheel". By the time the third one got on stage and announced she was going to sing she timidly added that she'd prepared to sing "Jesus Take the Wheel" and there was a very audible groan from the entire student body as a response. To this day that song only reminds me of teen girls who think they're the next American Idol.
 

Kari Kamiya

"I beat her up, so I gave her a cuck-cup."
True & Honest Fan
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Had a talent show junior year where three different girls sang Carrie Underwood's "Jesus Take the Wheel". By the time the third one got on stage and announced she was going to sing she timidly added that she'd prepared to sing "Jesus Take the Wheel" and there was a very audible groan from the entire student body as a response. To this day that song only reminds me of teen girls who think they're the next American Idol.

That is super awkward lol. Did the teacher in charge of the talent show auditions just not pay attention (since typically the song that gets sung in audition is what they're going to sing on stage), or was there no audition whatsoever, it was just open-mic? I remember when I auditioned in freshman year that we had to do a quick 15-to-30-seconds of what we're auditioning for in front of everyone who was trying out, wouldn't those girls have caught on to pick a different song or didn't expect the other(s) to pass?
 

FitBitch

A housewife!
kiwifarms.net
That is super awkward lol. Did the teacher in charge of the talent show auditions just not pay attention (since typically the song that gets sung in audition is what they're going to sing on stage), or was there no audition whatsoever, it was just open-mic? I remember when I auditioned in freshman year that we had to do a quick 15-to-30-seconds of what we're auditioning for in front of everyone who was trying out, wouldn't those girls have caught on to pick a different song or didn't expect the other(s) to pass?
I don't actually think this was organized well but I don't know, I was just an audience member.
 
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Big Nasty

Hunka hunka burning fuck
kiwifarms.net
So someone in the Momo thread asked "Who wants to see a fat girl piss herself?" Then I remembered that I've actually done that already at uni. A chunky chick with bad acne got shitfaced drunk, left a large puddle on a camping chair and crashed into slumber.
 
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Chan Fan

Not Mossad
kiwifarms.net
In 6th grade I was taken out of a class (due to an incident that was pretty awful and would take too long to explain) and became a teacher's aide for about an hour a day at the end of the school year. It was pretty cool and one of my best friends was an aide for another teacher so we got to hang out while we graded papers and whatnot. So one day one of the teachers asked me and my friend to read stories written by students in another class and pick the best one. No idea if it was for a prize but hoped the stories would be interesting and a few of them even had illustrations. We got through the shortest stories first and they all sucked.

We got down to two and had to decide which one was best. One of them was called "The Planet RRRRRRRRR" and the amount of R's was different each time it was mentioned. It had something to do with people traveling from there to the planet SSSSSSSS and the S's were always different, too. It was abysmal; the kids who wrote the stories were barely literate. So the story that ended up winning was called "*somebody's* House Party" and it was this idea of people having a party but people they didn't like showed up and one of the characters said "Oh look, there's trash on the porch" and that made me and my friend laugh so we said it was the winner.
 

Nig ward

based and redpilled
kiwifarms.net
I had a pretty good autistic sperg out moment.

I was in 3rd grade and i used to ride on the r-tard bus since i have "ADHD". I always hated riding it and always told my parents about it, they eventually had enough and just put me on a regular bus as long as my brother picks me up from the bus stop. So once i got used to the normal school bus "culture" i realized that the back of the bus was the best part of the bus since the driver couldn't see you (or so i though) but i could never get a seat on the back of the bus.

So one day when class rang out i went to the bus and to my luck the back of the bus had one vacant seat left and not only that i saw my friend there. So i rushed to the seat and my friend notices me and i sit and then the bus door closes and we take off. Along the way we get stuck in traffic and i had a brilliant idea. To keep a long story short i flipped off the car behind us. The bus driver quickly noticed and said "Is your finger broken?" and me being an autistic sperg say, while moving my middle finger and flipping her off "Works just fine". So at that point we just were going back and forth I just go into chimp out mode and started cursing at her which eventually led to me cursing the entire bus.

To my surprise the bus driver forgave me after i apologized but one of the students on my bus that got off the same bus stop as me snitched me out to my brother, who was waiting for me.

I also got put on the special ed bus again and didn't ride a normal school bus until 9th grade.
 

/A/non Prince

Furry twink, still no purple :(
kiwifarms.net
During Finals, we had to do the Murph for weight training class (conjoined with afternoon class since mine was small; also separate from PE class). During our break before I didn't eat a snack, but my friend literally ate a tendie right before we did it. Needless to say, he felt like he had to shit during the whole workout.
 

Clockwork_PurBle

Did anyone catch the game last night?
kiwifarms.net
Wow, I feel bad for the...third "Jesus Take the" wheel girl. I will choose to blame the people presiding over the show for not encouraging variety.

Kindergarten year my teacher was absent for most of the year since her son was battling an illness. The substitute decided she hated me and would single me out for stuff. Someone drew on the floor in crayon and she decided it was me that did it or something. So she calls the principal down there and takes me out in the hall. They were probably going to paddle me.

Well guess what! I was saved my some unknown high schoolers who decided to egg her car in broad daylight during school hours. Someone caught them, ran to get the substitute, and met us in the hallway. Principal and substitute ran out to the parking lot and they forgot about me entirely. Never got paddled. The substitute must've been mighty bitchy to any and all people if the high schoolers were egging her car while she was teaching kindergarten.
 

PipTheAlchemist

kiwifarms.net
Wow, I feel bad for the...third "Jesus Take the" wheel girl. I will choose to blame the people presiding over the show for not encouraging variety.

Kindergarten year my teacher was absent for most of the year since her son was battling an illness. The substitute decided she hated me and would single me out for stuff. Someone drew on the floor in crayon and she decided it was me that did it or something. So she calls the principal down there and takes me out in the hall. They were probably going to paddle me.

Well guess what! I was saved my some unknown high schoolers who decided to egg her car in broad daylight during school hours. Someone caught them, ran to get the substitute, and met us in the hallway. Principal and substitute ran out to the parking lot and they forgot about me entirely. Never got paddled. The substitute must've been mighty bitchy to any and all people if the high schoolers were egging her car while she was teaching kindergarten.
Based highschoolers. I hope they punched the shit out of your bitch of a substitute teacher
 

FuckedUp

Professional Glowposter
True & Honest Fan
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My third grade teacher would always play depressing "peaceful" music during tests for some reason. One time I had enough and went to the front of the room, turned off the boombox, and was literally applauded by the whole class. (No seriously, I'm not memeing.) Teacher yelled at me and made me turn it back on, though.
 

PipTheAlchemist

kiwifarms.net
My third grade teacher would always play depressing "peaceful" music during tests for some reason. One time I had enough and went to the front of the room, turned off the boombox, and was literally applauded by the whole class. (No seriously, I'm not memeing.) Teacher yelled at me and made me turn it back on, though.
Should've smashed the boombox across that bitch's head. That's what I would've done
 

MysticMisty

kiwifarms.net
After the talentless show you'd think that new "I'm going to turn this school into a success story, dammit!" principal would've given up on his ambition, but months later it was announced that the whole school would be dedicating an entire day to learning about jobs. Now, I've been doing this since 2nd grade, where we do reports on randomly assigned jobs, then pick which job we want to do. Which meant picking the correct option(s) available (jobs that make a lot of money and are guaranteed positions after x years of school) or get yelled at by the teacher for picking the "wrong" option (talent fields were money isn't guaranteed). The difference was that on this day there'd be people actually coming in to talk to us about their fields of work.

For the most part, the day was very unremarkable. Adults standing the the front of the class fumbling through why they love their job without actually telling us much about it before leaving, presumably to fuck off elsewhere to kill time before going back to work. The part that stood out was when I got to science class and we were told that our next guest speaker would be speaking in the cafeteria. We get to the cafeteria, I look up at the stage, and see an art easel set up with some markers and got excited. I was going to be seeing the professional version of what I considered doing for .00001 seconds for the talentless show.

This came to an equally immediate end when my teacher started yelling at some of my classmates for going to sit down. That wasn't our presentation, we were going to go to a better one in the far corner of the cafeteria, behind one of those temporary walls. The only times I'd ever seen that wall set up were on election days because our school was a polling location so I was honestly expecting to see election stuff set up and a person telling us all about being a poll worker. Instead was some stuff I could barely see on top of a table I couldn't see since nothing was raised up, before sitting in the very back.

Some guy came out that I could barely see with all the heads in front of me and started to speak. He worked in the science field, but what he did exactly I couldn't tell you because I couldn't fucking hear him since he had no microphone, or even a megaphone. Even worse was that the art guy started his much larger presentation shortly after, and he did have access to the sound system, and between that and the frequent cheers from his audience, drowned him out completely.

I quickly stopped paying attention and instead was thinking about how I really wanted to see the art guy and if I could peek around the wall without my teacher noticing (and freaking the fuck out). When I heard cheers coming from the people in our audience I snapped back to attention and got a glimpse of some colored flames coming from the table out front. It was actually pretty cool (and really pretty), and I wanted a better look at it, but he quickly put out his fires and started talking some more. Even though I couldn't hear him, I suspected it was a trap to get us to pay attention and that he didn't work in any sort of chemistry field involving (I'm guessing) firework production.

The art presentation ended, but this guy droned on a while longer (and still wasn't any better understood), but finally he said something and stopped talking. Silence echoed throughout our corner, and our teacher told us he asked if we had any questions. I gave no fuck about the rest of a presentation that was impossible to hear, but I really wanted to get a better look at those colored flames so I put my hand in the air, and was the only one to do so. The guy pointed to me, which under normal circumstances never fucking happens because there's something about me that just makes me invisible to others.

I stood up and called out that I wanted him to show the flames back here so we could see them. And just like me, he couldn't understand a word I said. I called again that I wanted to see the flames, and he still didn't know. I shouted, again, I want to see the flames, and he figured out I was saying something about the flames, but either he deliberately ignored what I was really asking about, or only understood the word "flames" because what happened was he started rattling off something I realized was the chemical combinations for each color. I forced myself to keep smiling and nodded like I understood what he was saying (I didn't) before sitting back down. Nobody else had anything to say so the presentation ended and we went back to our classroom.

There was actually still time left in the period so our teacher asked us what we thought of the presentation. I straight up said it was boring, I couldn't hear anything he said, and would've much preferred to have seen the art presentation. Many of my classmates agreed. My teacher said art was a stupid waste of time and that we should choose a real career, like science. Somebody pointed out that a science teacher isn't a real science career, she ordered his ass to the office, and nothing else remarkable happened for the rest of the day.

I still wish I could've seen the art presentation, though.
 

Kiwi Lime Pie

So tasteful, it's spooky. 🥝🥧🐈
kiwifarms.net
In 6th grade I was taken out of a class (due to an incident that was pretty awful and would take too long to explain) and became a teacher's aide for about an hour a day at the end of the school year. It was pretty cool and one of my best friends was an aide for another teacher so we got to hang out while we graded papers and whatnot. So one day one of the teachers asked me and my friend to read stories written by students in another class and pick the best one. No idea if it was for a prize but hoped the stories would be interesting and a few of them even had illustrations. We got through the shortest stories first and they all sucked.

We got down to two and had to decide which one was best. One of them was called "The Planet RRRRRRRRR" and the amount of R's was different each time it was mentioned. It had something to do with people traveling from there to the planet SSSSSSSS and the S's were always different, too.
There must be something about cheesy stories and 5th/6th grade. Although it wasn't for any sort of contest, a few classmates would write their own short stories outside of normal classwork and read them. They were as cheesy as @Chan Fan's example. The one I still remember was one where a classmate was somehow abducted into a video game world and he had to literally fight his way out of danger from various video game villains. I'm not sure if it was him trying to be edgy or simply finding a way to write about punching and kicking without getting in trouble, or some combination of both.

I'm not sure if I shared it before, but the same guy featured in a story from 8th grade. For English class one day, we learned the differences between words such as who and whom and had to use them properly in sentences. His example that he read for the entire class to hear was, "Who farted?" All of us gasped, expecting the teacher to give him a detention for using the word "fart" in class. Thankfully, our teacher was enough of a good sport that day to let it pass without consequence.
 

Faggotty Rabbitty

kiwifarms.net
In middle school, my math teacher gave another student a detention for not doing an extra credit assignment. Kid then decided that he and the teacher were mortal enemies or something. For the next month or so, every class they would get into an argument for a few minutes or so. This culminated in our teacher picking up a chair and throwing it over the kid's head and at the wall. Surprisingly, nothing came of this little outburst and the feud seemed to die there.

A few weeks later, the same teacher got fired for arriving to school drunk for like the third or fourth time. Can't really blame him for that, though. Sometime later I heard that he was arrested for a sixth dui.
 
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