Let's Sperg Shattered Union: Belated Election 2016 Simulator - Aka Strelok starts another LP he will never, ever finish.

[Strelok]

So yeah, Shattered Union, aka the closest we ever got to having Advanced Wars on PC. With a crack head plot, which allows a actually pretty decent turn based battle system to exist. It's basically impossible to get working on 64 bit systems without dll hacks, and only runs in 4:3 no matter what you do. But I'm an insane bastard and also can use google so I figured out how to get it working.

So without further ado, let's do this shit.

America right now:

Our factions going clockwise starting from the EU cucks in DC:

European Union: Having just seen America get lolfucked by a terrorist nuke, and seeing the successionist rebellions kicking off, the EU invaded America with the stated goal of "securing the union", but everyone knows it's going to be for the purpose of establishing America as a client state of Germany. They start with just one territory which means their income is shit, but they don't have to worry about spreading themselves thin by mistake like most factions do.

The Confederacy: The south rose again! Unfortunatly, they only got the shitty parts, and fully 1/4 of their nation is made up of Florida, a fate worse than death. Ironically, according the the game manual, they actually didn't, even secceede this time, everyone else did and they got really butthurt about it.

The Republic of Texas: Texas has the most fuel of all the factions, and a fairly central starting location, but other than that are fairly unremarkable.

The California Commonwealth: Arguably the ones at fault for Civil War 2, as they were the first to declare home rule. They start with a lot more infantry and money than most factions. By quirk of map design, they have the least potential problems at start as only Texas and Pacifica border them.

Pacifica: Washington, Oregon, and many of the Rocky Mountain states formed the Pacifica nation as a defensive pact to, get this, keep out Californian refugees. They are easily the wealthiest nation in the entire game at start.

Great Plains Federation: Aka Detroit & Friends. the Midwest faction has a much larger starting bankroll than the other nations, but not nearly as much ability to keep it coming in.

New England Alliance: New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Ohio, and new England. If there was an action of pure assholes, this would be it. I mean really, you have the New England Patriots AND the New York Yankees. They also have the closest to a defensive position on the map with the New York and Northern New England territories in a map corner. However, they also are the usual first target for the EU, who due to starting with 1 territory, doesn't have to spread their army around.

So, let's do this shit. Can we unite America under a new banner, or will we bring ruin. Or will this game from 2005 that requires modified DLLs from Railroad Tycoon 3 to even launch anymore wind up crashing a bunch and rendering our saves unplayable?

 

[GabeRegan]

Having looked up the game's plot on Wikipedia, it's shocking how little you would have to change to make it look like the game was recently released.

 

[Strelok]

Here is America at the start of Week 1. We, New England, have three viable options for attack, since taking the EU head on immediatly is not a great idea. We can either attack the Confederacy in either The Cumberlands or the Carolinas, or the Great Plains Federation in the Great Lakes territory.

For the moment I just bought a few extra tanks and helicopters, as there sin't much to speak of in the way of losses to replace yet.

Lastly, you'll note Political Reputation. This has nothing to do with diplomacy (there is none), isntead it's essentially are we Bashir Al-Assad, laying waste to our own nation in order to tighten our grip, or NATO, taking great pains to reduce civilian casulties even at the cost of tactical advantage? At either end of the spectrum, powerful bonuses unlock in battle, allowing us to more easily turn the tide. However, in the more moderate center, are less extravagant but more conventionally useful tools as well. Really I'll just let it fall where it may and not give a shit either way about influencing it.

 

[AnOminous]

How can we not be Texas?

Plus also let's maximize casualties because fuck everyone. Let's attack the Carolinas with the ultimate goal of leveling Florida.

 

[Strelok]

How can we not be Texas?

Plus also let's maximize casualties because fuck everyone. Let's attack the Carolinas with the ultimate goal of leveling Florida.

We're not Texas because we are officially in the Idiocracy timeline, and WWE Universe is going to take over America under the benevolent rule of President for Life Vince McMahon.

Because frankly the only way I can see the Northeast stopping hating each other involves WWE being good again.

 

[AnOminous]

My vote is still Texas.

 

[Strelok]

Ok attacking Carolina. Now in this screen we choose what units to take with us from our army pool. Anything we don't take can be used to defend ourselves in case of attack. So I took a decent clip of our units to overwhelm the Carolinas.

Oooooh those mid 2000s graphics, so good. So washed out. So completely fucking hideous. Anyway, here is our deployment zone. We will be attacking south, but the camera is backwards because convenience. Our goal is to either hold 200pts worth of objective territory at the end of 14 turns, or alternatively, just murder every last troop the Confederacy has.

Our objectives are, in increasing points value:

• Charlotte, NC - 40pts
• Columbia, SC - 50pts
• Myrtle Beach, SC - 50pts
• Fort Gordon, SC - 60pts
• Charleston, SC - 70pts

Those of you who passed 3rd grade math can tell that in this case, it means no matter what we need to take 4/5 cities.

Our main push will be down I-77 into Charlotte and then Columbia and I-73 leading to the coast. predictably, by the end of Day 1, New English troops have marched completely unopposed into Charlotte, NC, and in a midnight address, the President of New England declared North Carolina officially annexed into the Union. Meanwhile, Confederate troops advancing along Route 74 stumbled upon a scouting party and opened fire.

That's an artillery barrage, one of the options neutral countries have. It's bad to do in cities. I don't care. Halmet, NC is filled with explosives, and the troops in the surrounding suburbs are gravely wounded. A quick mopup operation and 3 Confederate Units are destroyed with no New English troops dead.

Day 3 sees a Confederate attack along I-77 cost us an SPG and an Abrams, and them a Stealth Bomber. Our counterattack wipes out nearly a dozen of their units however, and may clear the way to....

Fuck.

Guys I think we need to shell the fuck out of Columbia next turn.

 

[Strelok]

We got fucked by a bug already lol. Game hangs every time I try to process the turn. Near as I can tell it's a save corruption issue. We're restarting as Texas and implimenting a 3 rolling save policy.