Shitpost as your favorite historical figure/dead celebrity lolcow if they were alive today - Including historical trolls and kiwis

[Chapstick4Lyfe]

Himmler: Guten tag! We're three cool goys looking for other cool goys who wanna hang out in our party lair. Nothing sexual. Young blond-haired, blue-eyed Aryans in good shape encouraged. If you are Jewish, you should be able to find humor in the little things. Again, nothing sexual.

 

[White Devil]

Lincoln: Fuck, I never should have freed those niggers.

 

[Just A Butt]

Hitler: can i shoot myself in the head twice? Oy vey!

 

[Shitted Scaredless]

Michael Jackson: *mj sounds*

 

[Death Grip]

Leigh: fuck yes I am beautiful and must share my beauty with everyone!

 

[The Last Stand]

Norma Shearer: you're a hard one, aren't you?

 

[Yuuichirou Kumada]

Carlos II of Spain: Hugghh durrr.... It hurts to live.

 

[Carlos Weston Chantor]

Stalin: How The Fuck Is Holodomor Real Hahahaha Nigga Just Eat Something If You're Hungry Like Nigga Put The Food In Your Mouth Haha

 

[Big Ruski]

King Ramses II: Lets determine the fate of the Jews over a children's card game Moses. I can't wait to see the look on your gods face when you lose! It's time to D-D-D-D-D-Duel.

 

[Meat Target]

Actual quote from St Lawrence, as he was being cooked alive: "turn me over, I'm done on this side".

 

[Coelacanth]

Freddie Mercury: "You can make any shitposts you like with my music, just don't make it boring."

 

[atleast3letterslong]

I cannot be held accountable for what I did in Liberia because I was possessed by demons

 

[Lucky Strike Salesman]

Told That Fag We Needed Nukes

 

[DiddyKongMain1989]

Diogenes: *Masturbates on Chatroulette*

 

[Autumnal Equinox]

H.L Mencken - “BLM is the worship of jackals by jackasses”

 

[LinkinParkxNaruto[AMV]]

look at the soyboys buying bowls to drink water and eat food from when they could just cup their hands. Bunch of consoomers - Diogenes of Sinope

 

[lurk_moar]

Song Huizong: I don't care if China is surrounded by enemies, art and Daoism are much more important than military matters. Ok, I never wanted this job in the first place. My stupid brother Zhezong died too young and kept producing daughters. I wanted to be a Prince who paints pictures all day. I know that I have thousands of wives, concubines, and palace ladies, but sneaking out of the palace disguised as a scholar to bang that prostitute Li Shishi is my favorite fetish. Finally, I am just an ordinary person and not the stupid Emperor for like a night.

 

[Overcast]

MLK: What part of peaceful protest do you not understand?!

 

[Syaoran Li]

"I'm too drunk to make this shitpost."
-Ulysses S. Grant

 

[A Welsh Cake]

Joshua Connor Moon: this thread is autistic