Shitty Alternate History Thread - If only the Romans had AK-47's they would've survived...

millais

The Yellow Rose of Victoria, Texas
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I was not there for the 2016 election and aftermath, because their forum software upgrade had the effect of permabanning my account for several years without a method for submitting a technical support ticket. But when the ban was lifted, I changed the user title of my account to "make america great again", and that didn't seem to ruffle any feathers.
 

L50LasPak

Life on the outside ain't what it used to be.
kiwifarms.net
I could had sworn there was a longer page on this, but this is the best I can do:


The Pony Wars

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is an ongoing cartoon based on Hasbro's My Little Pony toyline. Intended originally for little girls and their parents, its writing and animation style have attracted droves of teen and young adult fans, who call themselves “Bronies.”
And ever since the Bronies came to AH.com, there has been only war–the latest and most convoluted of the three AH.com inner conflicts. The topic of My Little Pony is second only to Israel in terms of the kicks and bans it has generated.
The war ended in an uneasy truce mandated by IAN, with the Bronies being required to keep My Little Pony discussion and images confined to the Pony Thread. Tensions remain however, and additional skirmishes have broken out since the the matter was largely solved following the Pony Pogrom (See below). The war continues to be a touchy subject and discussions of its events can get heated on both sides.
The Pony Pogrom

On January 24, 2012, in the space of less than half an hour, six members were kicked as a result of an argument about MLP. The kickings all occurred in the thread about Doctor What's removal as a moderator, and the incident is believed to be largest mass-kicking in AH.com history. Unfortunately, Hendryk was also banned.
Ian's Disregard of Privacy / Ian's Reasonable Suspicions

In the thread where Ian announced the demotion of Doctor What, he posted the latter's private PM to CalBear. Ian later justified that by claiming that he was prioritizing security over fairness, but his disregard of privacy remains controversial. Before being kicked, Freizeit produced the "Big Ian is watching you" cartoon satirizing Ian's actions.
The "Pony Porn" Skirmish

Many months after the original war had died down, there came to be a new battle over Ponies on our board. Known as the “Pony Porn Skirmish”, the incident resulted in at least two kickings and many pages of heated discussion in the Hall of Infamy. It all began at 5:23 PM on a Wednesday (July 18th, 2012), when CalBear kicked Iori for posting so-called “pony porn” in the Pony Thread. The image, which was a weird sexual thing with a pony, caused quite a ruckus. After CalBear's kick, several members came to Iori's defense, saying that if he had posted a sexualized human, he wouldn't have been kicked (on the other hand, most board members just reacted with “why the fuck would you want to look at a sexualized pony?”). Hellhound01 and d32123 in particular saw Iori's kick as unfair, and argued his case in the Hall of Infamy while changing their signatures to read “FREE IORI”. Eventually, it escalated to the point where CalBear kicked Hellhound for a similar offense. Ian intervened, and the fight eventually died down, though not before Maccragge1 was subsequently kicked by CalBear as well. The sad saga can be read first-hand "at this link."

I'm not really interested in looking it up for obvious reasons, but I presume the Bronies on this site went on to write the autistic Fallout: Equastria project that, I think, is finally dead? Please someone tell me that shit died finally.

Additionally, for your perusal, they seem to have detailed the varions dumb forum conflicts they've gotten into over the years on this page:


It looks like this wiki hasn't been updated in awhile, so there's no mention of the 2016 elections. They named GamerGate Black October. Pfft. (also 2014 has my memory really gotten so fucked I thought it happened earlier?). Let me know if you want me to archive every single page, but most of them are kind of boring and my rotary calculator is slow so I'm not up for it unless there's significant demand.
 

Manwithn0n0men

kiwifarms.net
Guns of the South is Harry Turtledove isn't it? I never read that one, but his Worldwar/Colonization series is excellent for a casual read. It's not groundbreaking or anything, but they're definitely fun to read. Stirling is the guy that writes the Super South Africa that eventually gets so big that they beat the Nazis and enslave Europe right? I read a few chapters online, I kinda want to read then but they seemed a little too rapey for me.
ISoT/Emberverse is Stirling
 
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L50LasPak

Life on the outside ain't what it used to be.
kiwifarms.net
I unironically like the first Draka book and it got me into both Alternate History and a little bit into writing. Also wargaming to some extent since me and a buddy started inventing our own scenarios with a Risk set. The setting is beyond reetarded and that timeline included at in the appendix is infamously unlikely but the Draka are just so much fun as villains. Supersoldiers! War-based economy! Modern serfdom! All the chicks are lessies with the slaves! Slave soldiers! Killin' Nhazis! We conquer for two reasons; because we can and because we must!

Also the battle sequences are pretty well-written. And the scenes where Eric Shrakenberg is wandering through this grand society in kind of a daze just thinking about how much blood was spilled to build it. For a stupid book about how Super South-Africa takes over the world, its astonishingly contemplative in some parts.

The later books got pretty weird. I don't think I ever finished one. The relentlessly graphic rape scenes in the second one make it difficult to take seriously and we don't have someone darkly sympathetic like Eric to keep things in perspective. Stone Dogs is just straight up 1960s sci-fi written in the 80s with a bunch of shit going on. Drakon is a hackneyed time-travel story. Yuck.
 
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millais

The Yellow Rose of Victoria, Texas
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I unironically like the first Draka book and it got me into both Alternate History and a little bit into writing. Also wargaming to some extent since me and a buddy started inventing our own scenarios with a Risk set. The setting is beyond reetarded and that timeline included at in the appendix is infamously unlikely but the Draka are just so much fun as villains. Supersoldiers! War-based economy! Modern serfdom! All the chicks are lessies with the slaves! Slave soldiers! Killin' Nhazis! We conquer for two reasons; because we can and because we must!

Also the battle sequences are pretty well-written. And the scenes where Eric Shrakenberg is wandering through this grand society in kind of a daze just thinking about how much blood was spilled to build it. For a stupid book about how Super South-Africa takes over the world, its astonishingly contemplative in some parts.

The later books got pretty weird. I don't think I ever finished one. The relentlessly graphic rape scenes in the second one make it difficult to take seriously and we don't have someone darkly sympathetic like Eric to keep things in perspective. Stone Dogs is just straight up 1960s sci-fi written in the 80s with a bunch of shit going on. Drakon is a hackneyed time-travel story. Yuck.
I didn't like that they conveniently had their tactical doctrine always be one generation ahead of the rest of the world for no apparent reason. Before WWI period, they adopt semi-auto battle rifles when all the other countries are standardizing on magazine-fed, bolt action rifles. Before WWII period, they adopt intermediate cartridge assault rifles when all the other countries are just starting to roll out semi-auto battle rifles. There's no good excuse for them to be a generation ahead when they have the same opportunities as all the other great powers to learn from modern industrialized warfare.

Also I didn't like that their culture was just an uninspired Anglicized-mongrel mix, like an Anglophile America but located in Africa. Super Anglo-South Africa is so boring it might as well just be Super Rhodesia.
 
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L50LasPak

Life on the outside ain't what it used to be.
kiwifarms.net
I didn't like that they conveniently had their tactical doctrine always be one generation ahead of the rest of the world for no apparent reason. Before WWI period, they adopt semi-auto battle rifles when all the other countries are standardizing on magazine-fed, bolt action rifles. Before WWII period, they adopt intermediate cartridge assault rifles when all the other countries are just starting to roll out semi-auto battle rifles. There's no good excuse for them to be a generation ahead when they have the same opportunities as all the other great powers to learn from modern industrialized warfare.

Also I didn't like that their culture was just an uninspired Anglicized-mongrel mix, like an Anglophile America but located in Africa. Super Anglo-South Africa is so boring it might as well just be Super Rhodesia.
Who cares about that fucking crap though? I want to spray from the hip with my MG and run shit over in my Hond III tanks and send in my Jannissaries and blow stuff up with those ridiculous automated mortar guns which to my understanding aren't even based on any real-world technology. The setting is just so wild and crazy and has corpses flying all over the place. Its great.

Then sometimes you get one of Eric's scenes and he really ruminates on how fucked up and horrible their system of slavery is and it hits you like a frieght train. Dunno how Stirling did it (cocaine?), but that juxtaposition is still genius.
 

Ponderous Pillock

Welcome to Triple T, Tards, Troons and Trolls!
True & Honest Fan
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It's a shame as it seems to be common to all the books of Stirlings if he stays inside one "world" for too long.

The Emberverse books have a lot of very valid critiques out there, such as his obsession with inland farming only (even a society on a coast with prime farmland nearby, moves deep into the Canadian interior to grow wheat) and all the interesting early stuff, the fusion of the old and new and methods we know and can still used (such as some methods of smelting metal) fall away completely and the whole society becomes one big and weird ren fayre rather than a bit of more interesting world.

Draka is also the same it seems, but really didn't appeal to me so I didn't read them.
 
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John Merston

the return and dislike
kiwifarms.net
Ian the Admin revealing he hated Israel but from a left-wing angle
Ian's stance on this is fucking weird. He'll ban someone for denying the Holocaust or pushing ZOG conspiracy theories, then turn around and claim that all Jews worldwide need to accept responsibility for Israel's actions.

His logic basically seems to be
  1. Only bad people are anti-semitic
  2. I am not a bad person
  3. Therefore I am not anti-semitic.
 

ConfederateIrishman

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Ian's stance on this is fucking weird. He'll ban someone for denying the Holocaust or pushing ZOG conspiracy theories, then turn around and claim that all Jews worldwide need to accept responsibility for Israel's actions.

His logic basically seems to be
  1. Only bad people are anti-semitic
  2. I am not a bad person
  3. Therefore I am not anti-semitic.
Its hilarious; His position on Israel is so autistic that it manages to piss off everyone and forced him to ban a lot of people who were otherwise "loyalists" to his website.

He also overturned someone's kick/ban when they mentioned Soros funding leftwing movements globally before ranting about how the right wingers were actually right about that one (boy did that cause a lot of asshurt).
 
What if the Qing Dynasty got it's shit together after the first Opium War? Like what if it realized that they couldn't stand up against the Western powers, got rid of their corrupt government officials, and began rapid industrialization like Japan did during the 1860's? Would it result in massive resistance from staunch traditionalists? (like boxers), would there not be a communist China; would the dynasty be ruling to this day like a constitutional monarchy or an absolute one?
Massive resistance. China did have Westernization supporters but their ability to implement policy was heavily limited by extreme nativism. The slightest changes set the public off on an autistic shitfit.
 

Randall Fragg

Chuck's Buck n' Suck
Global Moderator
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Why don't we hype things up by 'questioning' something way more out of left field say.....The fall of Constantinople?
The Irish Potato Famine never happened. It was just propaganda run by anti-free market segments of British society in an attempt to discredit free market economics. By hyping up the “famine” in Ireland, they could then blame the government’s so-called failure to provide on the non-interventionist economic policies.
 

Syaoran Li

Goth Mom Resurrection
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Back in high school, I used to lurk the Alternate History forums during study hall before they made most of the place visible to registered members only. This was around 2010-2011 or so.

AH.com always had a lot of their own in-jokes and memes and one of them that I think is eerily relevant nowadays is the "Year of the Alien Space Bat" meme

2011 was declared the "Year of the Alien Space Bat" because of all the weird shit that happened that year like the Arab Spring, Occupy Wall Street, the deaths of Osama Bin Laden and Kim Jong Il, and the breakthrough discoveries about the Higgs Boson, these things were the kind of events that were usually considered bad AH fiction cliches before they actually happened.

I've mentioned this elsewhere, but I think 2020 has officially dethroned 2011 as the "Year of the Alien Space Bat"
 
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Alex Krycek

All my friends are Skeletons
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I’m partial to some of Turtledove. Not like a fanatic but he’s written some interesting scenarios for a History Sperg like me.
 

ConfederateIrishman

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Here is a link to the thread, note that you need an account to view it

Not sure where else to put this, but something hilarious has just happened to alternatehistory.com. Apparently the owner, Ian the Admin, was doxxed on a discord and his doxx had an imagine of him wearing a pro-slavery shirt.

Part 1.PNG
Part 2.PNG

The thread went well for about three seconds until someone posted the actual message from the discord
Part 3.PNG
The man who posted this was immediately banned

Part 4.PNG
The thread very quickly went downhill from there as Ian started sperging and banning almost everyone in the thread

Part 6.PNG

:story:

Part 7.PNG
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD

If anyone knows how to archive a webpage that requires an account to view like this website or resetERA, that would be great
 

John Merston

the return and dislike
kiwifarms.net
Here is a link to the thread, note that you need an account to view it

Not sure where else to put this, but something hilarious has just happened to alternatehistory.com. Apparently the owner, Ian the Admin, was doxxed on a discord and his doxx had an imagine of him wearing a pro-slavery shirt.

View attachment 1350501
View attachment 1350503

The thread went well for about three seconds until someone posted the actual message from the discord
View attachment 1350507
The man who posted this was immediately banned

View attachment 1350510
The thread very quickly went downhill from there as Ian started sperging and banning almost everyone in the thread

View attachment 1350520

:story:

View attachment 1350556
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD

If anyone knows how to archive a webpage that requires an account to view like this website or resetERA, that would be great
Oh my god, this is just like the dozens of cases of homophobic politicians being caught balls-deep in other dudes.
 
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